American-Made Idol

Ten Commandments

When I first came to pastor Riverside, one of the first series of sermons I preached was on the ten commandments. Believe it or not, I had a really cool pair of fake stone tablets, and each week I would bring them in with a new commandment “engraved” upon them.

I took great care to make those “stone” tablets look as realistic as possible. That makes me think: how heavy were the real ones?  I mean, they must have weighed at least fifty pounds each! And can you imagine carrying those things down a mountain? I guess that’s what tending sheep for forty years in the wilderness can do for ya’.

No Idols

God told Moses, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). He went on to say that he should not make any images to worship or bow down to (20:4). Yet, what did Moses find when he came down and saw the children of Israel partying (Exodus 32)? A golden calf. A graven image. An idol.

So, in order to have a visual for the sermon, I made an idol. No, it wasn’t made of gold, but it’s amazing what a little tin foil, coat hangers, spray paint, and insulation foam can do. I made my own golden calf (except it looked more like a chihuahua).

When I uncovered the “golden calf” that Sunday morning, one could sense a feeling of uneasiness. “It’s fake,” I told the congregation, “so don’t feel too nervous.” In a few moments everything was fine, and the message went well.

But later that night…

The Golden “Chihuahua”

Sunday evening after church we were at home getting ready for bed, when my wife asked a question. “What are you going to do with that idol?” she said with a serious voice. “I don’t know, probably put it on a shelf in the garage.”

“Oh, no you won’t!” she replied. “You are NOT keeping that thing in the house. You either take it back to the church, or destroy it…I don’t care…just get it out of the house.”

What? Didn’t she realize how long I worked on that silly thing? Didn’t she appreciate my artistic ability, my ingenuity, my imagination? What was wrong with keeping my idol? I made it.

Conviction

Isn’t it amazing how at the turn of a moment God can get our attention? We make idols every day out of the cheapest of material. Forget the gold, we worship stuff of even less value. Our idols are nothing like the ones in the Bible, not made of solid gold, but we put them before God, nevertheless.

I was convicted. God used my wife to make a point. If I couldn’t destroy a fake idol, cheap as it was, what made me think I could do away with other idols? Real idols? The gods (little “g”) that demand my time, my attention, my worship?

Only a picture remains.

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Application to Date My Daughter

As a father, I totally loved this post from Jessie Jeanine. If only more parents would take dating this seriously.

Men, our daughters are gifts from God. We should be their mentors and protectors, their examples of what men should be. The last things we should be are accomplices to disrespect, abuse, pre-marital sex, heartache, regret, and the furtherance of teenage stupidity.

Print off the application in this post and USE IT! Your daughter will thank you, later…..maybe much later, but later.

Jessie Jeanine's avatarJessie Jeanine

APPLICATION
FOR
PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: THIS APPLICATION WILL BE INCOMPLETE AND REJECTED UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY A COMPLETE FINANCIAL STATEMENT, JOB HISTORY, LINEAGE, AND CURRENT MEDICAL REPORT FROM YOUR DOCTOR.

GENERAL INFORMATION:

NAME_____________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH______________________________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT__________________
IQ__________ GPA__________________________
SOCIAL SECURITY #__________________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #__________________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_________________
HOME ADDRESS_____________________________
CITY/STATE___________ ZIP___________________

Do you have parents? ___Yes __No
Number of years they have been married_____________

If less than your age, explain_____________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A motorcycle? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. Is your body a willing canvas for tattoo artists? __Yes __No
F. Do you have more piercings than my little girl? __Yes __No

(IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY…

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Needing Inspiration

Too Much

Over the last few weeks I have had so much on my plate. If you could picture a platter, one with food falling off the side and onto the floor, that’s my life. There’s just a little too much going on.

Well, it might be more of a case of poor prioritizing. When I read of some of the greats of the past, I am ashamed at how little I have accomplished in my 40+ years. Maybe my plate is too full because poorly stacked chicken salad sandwiches take up more space.

Too Much Input

Then, there is the fact that over the last few weeks I have spent hours upon hours studying for a paper I was writing. The volume of material through which I waded nearly caused my little brain to short circuit. On top of that, I preached and wrote posts for ProverbialThought.com. Too much to absorb.

On a side note, I returned 14 books to the library, today. All of them were late, and at 25 cents a day it cost me $33.50!

Where to find Inspiration?

So, with my brain fried, I knew I needed to write, but I couldn’t think of any ideas. I needed inspiration. That’s when I turned to the best place to find conversation starters – the news.

Yes, when all else fails, and you can’t think of anything worth blowing your top over, check out the news channels, the local paper, or whatever. That’s what I did! Boy, did I find a winner!

Pilot Error

I came across the story of an Air Force pilot who crashed his F-22. His plane quit providing him air to breath, so he passed out and crashed. Simple? No. The Air Force blamed him for being distracted. No joke!

Capt. Jeff Haney was flying the Air Force’s next-generation stealth F-22 Raptor on a routine training mission in Alaska in November 2010 when a sudden malfunction cut off his oxygen completely. Capt. Haney never made a distress call but took his plane into a dive and, a little over a minute later, crashed into the winter wilderness at faster than the speed of sound.

After a lengthy investigation, an Air Force Accident Investigation Board could not find the cause of the malfunction but determined “by clear and convincing evidence” that in addition to other factors, Haney was to blame for the crash because he was too distracted by his inability to breathe to fly the plane properly [emphasis added].

Can you believe that? Seriously? I would have been a little distracted too, I guess. “Hey, uh, don’t bother me with all those details, folks, I have a little problem I’m dealing with…. I CAN’T BREATH!”

That was all the inspiration I needed.

Give Me Air

This is air I breath
This is air I breathe
Your holy presence
Living in me

And I … I’m desparate for you
And I … I’m lost without you

– Mercy Me

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Monday Monkey “At the Zoo” (Episode 22)

Multi-tasking

I am not a great multi-tasker. Once, in an emergency, I was forced to answer a phone, while cleaning house and preparing lunch for a small child – at the same time! Do you realize how difficult that is? I ended up in the hospital!

On the other hand, I do drive a school bus, which requires me to do a great many things at once.

  • Drive a 33,000 lb. vehicle
  • Yell
  • Communicate on a 2-way radio
  • Wipe perspiration (sweat) from my eyes
  • Watch 20 crumb-crunchers in a rear-view mirror doing everything they can to distract me from my primary job (see first thing on list)
  • Tell multiple stories to kindergartners, both true and fictional, but especially fictional (about aliens from outer space taking over the bodies of teenage girls)

Making Videos

I guess making Monday Monkey videos require a little multi-tasking, too.  This week I had so much reading and writing to do that I actually broke a blood vessel in my right eye (no joke). I was so swamped, I didn’t know what to do, but I still had to work.

So, when I had to drive a field trip to the Chattanooga Zoo, I knew it would be the perfect time to take Buddy (Mr. Monkey). Maybe I am better at multi-tasking than I give myself credit. Maybe I am as good as my wife? No, I wouldn’t go that far.

Monkey Talks to Monkeys

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Repost of Proverbial Thought

God really showed me something special when I studied for this post. I then preached on it in church, and now I am about to do a radio broadcast based on it. Just the thought that our God would want to sit and talk with us is incredible.

Anthony Baker's avatarProverbial Thought

Proverbs 3:31-32

“Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways. For the froward is abomination to the LORD: but his secret is with the righteous.”

Preface

Let me preface what I am about to write by saying that it is pleasure to study verses of Scripture which would normally be overlooked in casual reading. When I first selected this passage, I only did so based on the calendar. Only when it came time to write did it become clear there was much more to these verses that met the eye.

I can only scratch the surface, today. However, I would challenge each reader, as with the other texts, to study them for yourself. The greatest riches of heaven are not usually handed over, they are wrestled from the Word. Dig, my friends, and you will be amazed at what you find.

The Oppressor

Solomon recognized that there is always…

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Monday Monkey “Graduation 2012” (Episode 21)

Graduation Day

Well, technically, my degree was conferred in December, 2011. However, this was the day when everybody walked. So, what was I supposed to do? Miss the opportunity to take Mr. Monkey?

The poignant thing is that my dad went to TTU from 1972-73. He never actually graduated. He would be proud to have been here, today.

Long Time Coming

I graduated high school in 1985. I got my Associates in 1995. Even after two additional years of study which was non-accredited, I decided to go back and take 2 more years in order to get my Bachelor of Science in Bible (Pastoral Studies).

I owe a great debt to my wife, Valerie, and my girls for putting up with me.

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When I Cry (Psalm 57:2)

Not if, but when.

I heard it said growing up, and I hear it said still today, “Real men don’t cry.” What nonsense!

Who was more of a man than Jesus? Yet He, the One who left the realms of glory to walk the path to Calvary, who willingly laid down his life for sinners, wept (John 11:35).

The Omnipotent Word made flesh; the King of Kings; the Resurrection and the Life cried at the tomb of Lazarus. If he could cry, then so will I.

And when I do…

“I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth [all things] for me” (Psalm 57:2).

Jesus wept because of a broken heart for others. I usually weep as a result of my own needs and failures. He was all-sufficient, while I am totally dependent. I need Him more than I usually admit.

And when I come to the point of crying out, if I call upon the One who hears my prayers, my cries are not in vain, nor will they be ignored. I do not call out as stranger, but as a son to his Father (Romans 8:15).

Abba! Daddy! Help!”

Did any of you, parents, ever hear your child wake from sleep with some panic, or fear, and shriek the mother’s name through the darkness? Was not that a more powerful appeal than all words? And, depend upon it, that the soul which cries aloud on God, The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, though it have “no language but a cry,” will never call in vain. – Alexander Maclaren (1826-1910)

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Courageous Commitment

“Daddy, will you dance with me?”

If you have seen the movie Courageous, then you’ll get it.

If you have not seen the movie, get it, then you’ll get it. Got it?

At 9 a.m. I was at the gym, signing us both up, and committing to work out with my 16-year-old daughter. It was hard, but worth it. She was so thrilled that I would take the time.

I just wish I could make time stand still.

Being the Dad.

 

 

 

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Just a Comparison

Before you get mad at me for what you are about to read, it’s only a comparison, not a dogmatic definition of right or wrong.

In Line

Every Tuesday my wife and girls go to Precept Ministries (Kay Arthur) in Chattanooga for Bible study. On some days I go with them and use the time to study. It’s a nice place to study, believe me. However, I am writing this on a computer at Precept while Kay Arthur is talking to someone a few feet away. She is distracting me.

Then, there are other days when my wife and I leave the girls and sneak out to get a biscuit. Today we had to sit in line forever. For jelly biscuits.

Jelly Biscuit – May I insert just one question at this juncture? Why is it you always have to ask for jelly when you order a jelly biscuit? What is it about “jelly biscuit” that confuses people? If I ordered a plain biscuit, I would not expect jelly. But when I order a jelly biscuit, why don’t they assume I want jelly? Why do I always have to ask for it?! Good Grief!

I Hear a Song

It was while we were sitting in line that I heard a song on Christian radio (J103). The song caught my attention because of the lyrics. May I share with you the words from the chorus?

You make me happy…Uhhh
You make me feel the way I do…
You make me happy, Yeah!
I wish the whole world knew you, too! (and then the song ends with a bunch of “la-la-la’s.”)

I started to laugh. Honestly. Was I supposed to be blessed? Encouraged? Uplifted? Edified? Happy?

I know, I know, I know…I know that there are plenty of great, contemporary songs out there. Chris Tomlin, for one, has more than a few. I love several songs from Building 429, Avalon, and the Newsboys. But seriously, why can’t more of them take the subject matter at hand a little more seriously?

I Hear the Past

Some lines from the past need to be heard more often, especially if the best we can come with today is “uhh” and “yeah.”

  • My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righeousness.
  • A mighty fortress is our God, a bullwark never failing.
  • Alas! and did my Savior bleed, and did my Sovereign die? Would he devote that sacred head for such a worm as I?
  • I will cherish the old rugged cross.
  • Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise: be thou mine inheritance now and always; be thou and thou only first in my heart; High King of Heaven, my treasure thou art.

Dear Christian song writers, you can do better than “uhh’s” and “yeah’s” and “la la la la.”

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Monday Monkey “The Mirror” (Episode 20)

Can you believe this is the 20th episode of Monday Monkey?!

Woo Hoo! Let’s go swing from a tree! Or a light fixture. Anyone have cake? A card with money?

Anyway, I have been under a lot of deadlines, so I apologize for no video over the last few weeks. This one was just thrown together, though. I knew I had to post something, or my fans might seek other monkeys on Monday. Wouldn’t that be a shame?

The Mirror

http://youtu.be/T_dWQGN1rEo

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