Tag Archives: Music

Last Year I Gave You My Heart, Now It’s For Sale In a Resale Shop

Three years ago I wrote about my disgust with a familiar Christmas song, “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” That was three years ago…

This is now.

Back In 1984

I was a senior in high school; I was infatuated with Pheobe Cates and Susanna Hoffs; I drove a 1979 Pinto station wagon, and that Chrismas season the English pop duo Wham! released “Last Christmas.”

The year was 1984.

George Michael (the famous half of Wham!) wrote “Last Christmas,” and in the end donated all royalties toward the Ethiopian famine relief. However, it’s my belief that there was an alternative purpose for writing “Last Christmas.” Besides feeding the hungry, the idea was to create a song which every new and up-and-coming talentless pop star could record in lieu of composing something original.

It was December of 1984…the year the movie Dune came out. No wonder I hate this song.

It’s Now 2017

It is now December of 2017, and everyone from Ashley Tisdale and Taylor Swift, to Crazy Frog and Gwen Stefani has done a cover of “Last Christmas.” Just about every time I get in the car and turn on the radio, or walk into any store, restaurant, or torture chamber, “Last Christmas” can be heard degrading the airwaves.

You know, if mankind is supposed to be evolving, why doesn’t Gwen Stefani just do a cover of Handel’s “Messiah”? Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Why I Hate It

So what is my gripe about “Last Christmas”? I’m glad you asked.

It’s the chorus…the chorus that gets sung over, and over, and over, and over again.

“Last Christmas I gave you my heart / But the next day you gave it away /

This year / To save me from tears / I’ll give it to someone special.” – George Michael

Questions:

  • Was the person this song was written about not a special person when the singer’s heart was given away?
  • If this year you’re going to give your heart to “someone special,” what does that say about the person to whom the song is being sung? Was she nothing more than some floozy you met at the ski lodge? Did she wake you up before she went went?
  • If you’re in the habit of flippantly giving your heart away to non-special people – people who think so little of your heart that they give it away the very next day – what makes you think this year’s “special” person won’t do the same on December 26th?
  • I can see how a person would receive a heart, like during a transplant, but how does one “give it away” the very next day? Does one say to a new lover, “Hey, baby, let me give you this heart – some other guy gave it to me yesterday for Christmas”?

The Answer

The other day my wife and I stopped by a charity to donate some items for resale. Before we unloaded the items we no longer needed, my wife asked, “Do you want to go inside and look around?” “Sure,” I replied. “Anything to make you happy.”

A few minutes into our exploring of used or discounted items, my wife saw this strange, yet interesting music box sitting on a shelf. She said, “Look…a music box…it’s different…I wonder how much they want for it?”

Valerie reached up and turned the music box up on its side, and then she asked me to look at what she saw. Immediately I was struck with the awkwardness of the message and realized there was a potential blog post waiting to be written.

Here was the answer to at least one of my questions to George Michael and all of his subsequent knock-offs. Obviously, George was giving his special and non-special Christmas relationships tacky music boxes…

And they gave them away. 

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Filed under Christmas, Humor, music

Before the Fullness of Turkey Was Come

Galatians 4:4 (KJV) But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law…

Remember that verse…

This morning, as I was driving in to work, I turned on the radio and tuned it to one of our local Christian stations, 103.1. It was 6 a.m., and I was anticipating something spiritual, something encouraging, to start off my day.

The time has not been changed. It was actually 6, not 7.

What did I hear when turned on the radio? What did I hear when I turned on the radio this morning on the 20th day of November? What did I hear when I turned on the radio three days before Thanksgiving?

I’m ready for some mistletoe and kissing…”

Uuuughh! Noooo! Not now! It was dadgum Christmas music, and the heathen kind at that!

Folks, why can’t we learn from Scripture? If Jesus Himself didn’t come to Earth until the appointed time, why on earth can’t we hold off on the mistletoe and kissing till after Thanksgiving?

For crying out loud, can’t we take a moment and show some respect for all the turkeys who gave their lives so that we could manage to be thankful?

Good grief! Can’t we just wait till the fullness of December has fully come? At least till the 25th of November?

Probably not. That’s why I’m not going to listen to anymore radio until I’ve prepared my first leftover turkey sandwich.

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Filed under Christmas, General Observations, Thanksgiving

Battle of the First-World Divas

The other night my two daughters, Katie and Haley, said “Dad, you’ve got to watch this!” They were referring to the brand new video released during the MTV music video awards, the new one by the once-wholesome Taylor Swift.

Look, I’m not going host any links to the video on my blog today, for one reason, if no other, that it’s a bunch of whorish, sinful, ungodly trash. Did I just say that? Yeah, and I won’t take it back.

My daughters were watching the video awards show on MTV because Katie is a music education major. Katie wanted to get an idea of where the music was going this year and get some insight on other things that I don’t understand. But not only that, they were interested in the ongoing feud between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry.

Some of you may be familiar with all the strife and tension between the two pop music divas, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift. However, some of us in the real world (because their reality is more of a fabrication than foundational) aren’t concerned with their little spat over what is essentially inconsequential in the big scheme of things. Unlike me, though, there are millions of fans between the two singers who do nothing but speculate over what it is that causes the two to be at each other’s throats. I, for one, couldn’t care less!

It’s not like either one of them will ever read this, but I want to give a suggestion to the both of them. If you happen to know either Katy Perry or Taylor Swift, pass this along…

“Get over yourselves! You’re uber-wealthy, so just write off your hard feelings and first-world problems! Specifically to Taylor Swift, your first-world anger and bitterness issues are ugly, sickening, and make me disgusted when I consider that girls everywhere look up to you. Quit being a snot and show a little forgiveness. Your “reputation” might be dead, but the stink in your soul is becoming too much for the rest of us to endure. And Katy, do everyone a favor and just apologize.”

There, that’s my commentary own the pop-music diva scene. I hope I never have to talk about it again.

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Filed under America, current events, music, Uncategorized

A Fellow Alum Wins “The Voice”

Congratulations to a fellow Tennessee Temple Crusader, Chris Blue, for winning “The Voice”!

Chris Blue is a worship leader in Knoxville, TN, and attended the school where I received my bachelors and masters degrees, Tennessee Temple University. He was the worship leader there until the school closed in 2015.

Being that I did not attend many chapel services there since I was a commuter and spent most of my time in the seminary, I never got to meet Chris in person. Nevertheless, I wish him well. May God continue to use his talents to bring glory to the name of Jesus Christ.

After all, that’s what being “Distinctively Christian” is all about.

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Filed under Christianity, current events, General Observations, music

If I Were a Mother

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone! Especially to all of you who are mothers in one way or another.

I mean, not everyone has literally given birth; some mothers are adopted 😉

Nevertheless, I would like to say that I wish my mother and my grandmother a very happy day!


I wanted to write something a little different this year, even though I will still include the annual “Mother’s Day Song” at the end.

If I were a mother – and no amount of sex changes will ever make that happen – and, no, I’m not having a sex change – what kind of mother would I be? How would things be different?

1) Laundry

If I were a mother, I would make all my kids do their own laundry, and I wouldn’t care what color everything turned out in the end. I mean, if the kids want to have clean clothes, they wouldn’t need to come whining to me when they are the ones who get them all dirty and store them under the bed.

If I were a mother and a wife, however, my husband would always have clean, pressed laundry ready and placed out for the next work day. I would get up early before my husband – about 4 a.m. – and make sure his wardrobe for the day was place where he could find it, each part in the order in which it was to be put on.

Also, if I were a mother and wife of such a good man as the one I would marry, I would encourage him to toss his underwear and socks anywhere in the bedroom. I wouldn’t play games on my iPhone or computer, so this would allow me a little challenge each day. Yay!

2) Driving. Chauffeuring, etc.

If I were a mother, I would expect my husband to provide me with the best vehicle he could afford. What he drives would not concern me, but if I’m gonna be doing all the running around – if that’s what I do – then I’d better be in a nice Toyota Sienna Limited mini-van.

Now, with regard to the kids and all their spur-of-the-moment appointments, play dates, ball games, competitions, and whatever, I would expect some form of compensation – if they can’t drive, then they must pay. Where will they get the money? Heck, my girls went door-to-door selling dandelions and other assorted weeds, so any kid can earn money.

If my husband was tired, however, I would always let him lean back in the heated leather seat, or under his personally-selected temperature setting (hot or cold), and rest while I drive.

3) Cooking.

If I were a mother, I would make sure every meal was prepared from the freshest produce and hand-selected meats, daily procured from the local market. I would never serve the same recipe twice, except when requested.

As a wife, I would always make my husband’s favorite foods, even if the rest of the family ate something different. He would always have something at the table he is guaranteed to love, even if the children hate what I make.

Also, I would search the internet on a regular basis to come up with the most unique recipes for church socials – I must make all the husbands jealous of my husband, you know.

4) Giving Birth.

If I were a mother, I would make becoming a mother something enjoyable. I would never curse at my husband while I was in labor, either. I would never blame him for my pregnancy and accept all the blame myself. I would also ask my husband’s opinion on breathing, pushing, taking selfies.

If I were a mother I would hold all my children responsible for any and all pain and discomfort they inflicted on me.

But, I’m NOT a mother…

…or a woman, or a wife…not even the Caitlyn Jenner kind.

So, I can’t even imagine what life would be like without the wonderful mothers in my life, especially my wife who’s truly a gift from God.

I’m glad I’m a man, and a dad, and a husband… because being a mother would be more than I could handle – and the kids would probably die of disease and starvation.

Now, as Promised…

The Mother’s Day Song 

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Filed under Marriage, Parenting, Relationships and Family

My Daughter Does Opera

I know I’ve posted a lot, already, but this is my daughter we’re talking about. 

Katie is a Music Education and Biology Education Major at Bryan College. Today she performed a piece while I was at work, so my wife filmed it. 

I downloaded the video and then uploaded it to Youtube so you guys could see it. 

I don’t have the foggiest idea what she is singing, but it’s pretty. 

Enjoy! 

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Filed under music, Relationships and Family, Uncategorized

Philosophy of Bass (guitar, not the fish)

“The bass takes music beyond the mental, transcends melody, and finds its rest in the emotional. There is a big difference between music you simply listen to and music you can actually feel.

Bass notes can literally bring to recollection a real experience and attach it to the lyric of a song, thereby bridging the barrier between cognitive ascent and physical memory. Mid’s and treble tickle the ear, but only bass can rumble the heart.”

– A. Baker (legendary bass philosopher)

 

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Filed under General Observations, music