Category Archives: Parenting

How to Fail As a Father/Parent

I don’t want to spend a lot of time writing a lengthy post, but I do want to leave you with a list I found in a sermon by a Wesleyan pastor, Bruce Howell. I don’t know if he came up with it or if he found it somewhere else. All I know is that it is convicting.

There will be a lot of people talking about how to be a better father this Sunday, but if you want to know how to fail both as a father AND a mother, here are 10 sure-fire ways to screw up.

Ten Ways to Fail As a Father (Parent)

1. Have fights in front of your children. Then when guests come, turn around and act affectionate toward one another.

2. Stifle your children’s questions by saying, “Don’t bother me now; I’m busy.”

3. Take no interest in your children’s friends. Let them run around with whomever they choose.

4. Never discipline your children; try to use psychology instead.

5. Nag them about their schoolwork; never compliment them on their achievements.

6. Demonstrate your love for them with material things. Give them everything their little hearts desire.

7. Never discuss the facts of life with them. Instead, let them learn about sex from their friends, public school, or pornographic literature.

8. Set a bad example so the children will not want to grow up to be like you.

9. Absolutely refuse to believe it if you are told that your children have done something wrong.

10. Let your children make their own choices in the matter of religion. Be careful not to influence them in any way.

Help us, Father God, to be more like you.

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In My Father’s Honor

Remembering the Day

I woke up this morning and saw the sun, which is something my dad never got the chance to experience on June 11, 1991. Upon closing his eyes in death while working the night shift as a security guard, he woke to eternal day where the Son is the Light. What an awesome moment that must have must have been for him!

However, for me, it was a very difficult day 27 years ago. For that matter, it was a difficult day for many. He was only 46 at the time of his homegoing, but the impact he made on the lives of others will reverberate for many decades to come, and all of us were heartbroken when he left.

Tough, Yet Humble

My dad.

My dad.

Those who knew my dad before he became a Christian would testify to the fact that he was no wimp. He was a man’s man.

My dad could build an engine and race a car – including the kind in which he used to haul moonshine. He knew how to fight, fish, and fire a weapon; between him and my uncle Don (his brother), there weren’t too many men willing to be their enemies.

Yet, once he accepted Christ, he became the perfect example of gentleness, kindness, grace, and compassion. I know of no one any more humble than he was. (Oh, and when his brother finally became a believer in Jesus, the same transformation took place)

Preachers

My dad was also a preacher. He might not have been the most eloquent, but he loved the Word and he loved telling people about Jesus. Had he been alive today, he would have wept at the state of our nation, but he would have cared more about sharing the gospel with the homeless drunk under the bridge, the prisoner in the jail, or the disabled and orphaned teen in need of hope.

More than a man who’d kindly give you the shirt off his back, he’d find a way to tell you about a Saviour who bore a cross on His. If my dad was still alive, he’d still be preaching.

Still Fighting the Good Fight

Still Fighting the Good Fight

I am proud to say that I am carrying on my father’s legacy. I am proud to say that should the Lord allow me to live another 50 years, I will continue to preach the Gospel, stand for Truth, and love people the best I can. As a matter of fact, here is something I recently posted on Facebook.

Backbone, preachers…now’s the time for some honest-to-goodness, strong-as-steel, George S. Patton and John Wayne-like BACKBONE!

I don’t care if you’re Baptist, Presbyterian, Pentecostal, Nazarene, Methodist, or whatever…MAN UP!! Stand in the gap! Quit being a politically motivated, crowd-pleasing, purse string-tying wimp and PREACH THE WORD!

Check out what’s going on in the world and what’s coming to America. Do you think things are all going to turn out like a big Hillsong praise service if you keep preaching like Joel Osteen?! Folks, what we need now more than ever are some Elijahs, some John the Baptists, some old-school Billy Grahams, some D. L. Moodys, etc. We need more men of God who know the difference between the Word of God and a motivational speech!

Don’t try to be popular. Don’t try to be “cool” and “hip” with the younger generations. Quit fighting over the styles of worship if your congregation doesn’t even know HOW to worship! Forget trying to become more “seeker-friendly,” and just SEEK THE LOST! The world is going to Hell and we are greasing the skids.

Be real. Be humble. Be yourself. Love your enemies. But for the love of God, pastors and preachers, “Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13). In other words, take off the liberal mom jeans and put on some prophet-worthy overalls and get to work. 

His Voice

I wish all of you could have met my dad, Terry L. Baker. Like my wife noted when she heard a recording, “He sounds about as country as they come.” Fortunately for all of us, I still have a few recordings of his preaching.

Below is an edited version of a message my dad preached back in 1981. At that time he was doing a radio program on WMOC for a local children’s ministry.

On a side note, I do a radio program just like my dad did, but he used to record his sermons on a Radio Shack cassette recorder while I use an iPhone 7 with a Rode smartLav+ mic. Funny, the sermon below sounds just as good as anything recorded today!

Fittingly, the sermon from my late father, based on Deuteronomy 6:4-7, concerns how to raise a godly family. Tell me if you think he sounds a little like me 😉

All honor and glory be to my Father in Heaven, the One who graciously gifted me with an earthly father who loved Jesus and taught me how to do the same.

 

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Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Life Lessons, ministry, Parenting, Preaching, Relationships and Family

The Mother’s Day Song: A Tradition Lives

Learn It, Love It

Honestly, I’ve written some fairly decent songs over the years, but one of my favorites (at least in the month of May) is “The Mother’s Day Song.”

Therefore, I want you to listen to this song again. Seriously. It’s a tradition.

Learn it, love it, and then share it with your own mother or mother-like substitute. You could, I suppose, sing it to yourself while imagining Carly Simon somewhere near saying, “I bet you think this song is about you.” And you wouldn’t be vain, either! You’re a mother! You deserve it!

(Note: If you did not catch the humor in the above Carly Simon reference, you’re probably too young to be a mother…or you didn’t click on the above link, duh!)

Read Them, Love Them

Now, it’s not because I’m being lazy, it just that last year’s post was a pretty good one, so why try to top it this year? I’ll just give you a link and you can read what I wrote for Mother’s Day last year on this blog. (As a bonus, scroll through the comments and you’ll get to see me play and sing it live.)

“If I Were a Mother”

However, if you haven’t read what I wrote about my mother and grandmothers on ProverbialThought.com, check out this link.

“Honoring Mothers”

My mother is still with us, but my grandmother (her mother) is now in a nursing home and rarely knows who I am. I have to admit, it’s hard to watch her in that condition.

Then, just yesterday, I found out that my mother has stage 3 kidney disease (as if she didn’t already have enough wrong with her). Point is, appreciate what you have while you have them.

My mother (Marie) and grandmother (Lorene Cagle – now age 96) last year.

So, happy Mother’s Day, everyone! Sing the song!

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Filed under music, Parenting, Relationships and Family

We Need Kings, Too

The impetus for this post came from an insurance commercial and a walk down the “princess aisle” at Hobby Lobby.

My Little Princess

Believe me, I get it. I have three daughters, so I am keenly aware of the need to make them feel special.

As a matter of fact, I have been known to go out of my way – actually, it really wasn’t – to make it known my girls are royalty. I have purchased the pink crowns, gone to the banquets, done the “daddy dances,” and participated in the high teas and fingernail polishing.

Shopping at Hobby Lobby

Every Dad should treat his daughter like a princess.

But What About Boys?

I shouldn’t have to elaborate very much because most of you probably already know how maligned the average male is in society, especially if he resembles anything masculine. However, society has yet to recognize the extent of the damage inflicted upon it by a radically-feministic and anti-gender agenda.

An anti-masculine paranoia has left men confused, scared, and spineless. Heck, even car insurance commercials (Liberty Mutual) tout the praise of coverage that can take care of teen boys who don’t know how to change a flat tire!

Proverbs 31 – It’s Not Only About Women

Now, whenever you think of Proverbs 31, what do you think about? The perfect woman? The high bar that is set for any woman who wants to be a model wife? Do you get stressed out with all of the expectations a male society is placing upon you?

Have you ever stopped to consider that Proverbs 31 starts out with a mother warning her son about other women? Have you ever noticed that the first few verses of Proverbs 31 contain words of affirmation…to a MAN?

Speaking of the tempting women and “strong drink,” this wise and caring mother warns,

“It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings…” (Prov. 31:4).

What we need these days are more women like King Lemuel’s mother. We need women who will teach their sons about morality, ethics, duty, honor, responsibility, leadership, and genuine love…because they are kings.

We need parents who will pull the plug on the raw sewage put out by the likes of Yo Gotti and Nicki Minaj (I’m attaching a link to prove my point – viewer beware), and say, “It’s not for kings, my son, it is not for kings.”

The enemy doesn’t want to encourage biblical womanhood any more than he wants to encourage biblical masculinity.

So, empower your little princess; she’s truly precious.

But don’t forget about your prince; we need real men, too.

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Filed under Culture Wars, Parenting, Relationships and Family

Saturday Table Talk

Our Table

To the right is a picture I just took of our kitchen table. I don’t know how your house works, but our kitchen table is a community gathering place. Yes, it’s a flat surface, so it’s likely to be the place where something is sat before it goes where it’s supposed to.

But on the other hand, it’s a place where we play games, do homework, study, read, assemble kitchen appliances, wrap gifts, organize bills, and occasionally eat.

I mean, just look at what’s on the table right now! There’s condiments, dog treats, butter, books, earbuds, coffee, a computer, sermon notes, and study notes for Haley’s upcoming research paper. This is not a table reserved for dinner and breakfast, alone.

Our Topics

But this morning was one of those times when discussion was the meal being served, and there was way more than one course. Even when we were eating breakfast – which was a combination of leftover nacho chicken casserole, eggs, cream of wheat, bacon, and biscuits with butter and jelly – we were entertained with helping after helping of good, old-fashioned, eye-to-eye conversation.

We didn’t even play with our smartphones!

Here are some of the things we discussed this morning, starting at around 9:30 and ending around 1 p.m.

  • Illegal immigration
  • The difference between legitimate and racist research questions
  • The income disparity between African/black male immigrants of any age group and that of a native-born Canadian males
  • Saint Patrick
  • The problems associated with critiquing the early Christians (such as St. Patrick) with 20/20 hindsight
  • Hispanic vs. Muslim immigration and the affect one’s worldview has on assimilation and the reporting of crime
  • Philippians 4:10-14 as a misapplied scripture
  • Homemade energy food
  • My wife’s last nerve

I’d say that was one the best breakfasts ever 🙂

We should do it more often.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! 

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Filed under community, current events, Parenting, politics, Relationships and Family

Parenting Advice for Those With Demonic, Screaming, Cursing Little Brats

“Too many parents try to reason with little individuals in whom ‘foolishness is bound,’ then in vain try to ‘drive it far from them’ with timeouts. I propose that a loving, biblical approach to parenting would serve themselves, their children, and the world much better.” – A. Baker

See Proverbs 22:15, along with Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 23:13-14; 29:15 and 17; Hebrews 12:11.

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A Sexually Predaceous Christmas Song

Every year around this time I will re-publish this post. My opinion is the same this year as it was last year.


“No!” Means “NO!”

A Winter Romance album coverI don’t know about you, but “Baby It’s Cold Outside” absolutely disgusts me. Every time I hear it sung on the radio (usually by Dean Martin), primarily during the Christmas season, it makes my blood boil! But what happens when I complain? Nothing; it’s “just an innocent song,” they say.

It’s just a “cat and mouse” thing, they say.

But seriously, would you just consider the lyrics? Have we not progressed to the point in society where we recognize red flags when we see them? Or, are we still in the age when it’s perfectly acceptable to coerce a woman, to interpret her “no” as a “yes”?

Is it acceptable these days to care nothing about a girl’s feelings and reputation all because your pride might get hurt if she says no to your advances? Well, that’s all “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is; an aroused sexual predator pressuring a reluctant date to stay the night, drugging her if necessary.

Red Flags

To make my point, I have included the lyrics to “Baby It’s Cold Outside” in this post, highlighting and commenting along the way.

“Baby It’s Cold Outside”

I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside
This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice

Up until this point, it’s not that bad. Asking someone to stay the night is not the problem (from a legal sense). But things start to progress from questionable to insensitive pressuring very quickly.

My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry?
Father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
Maybe just a half a drink more – Put some records on while I pour

So, the girl actually cares about the feelings of her parents – imagine that! But does that matter to the guy? No. He cares nothing for her fears or her parents feelings – sounds like a real “keeper.”

The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink?No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell – I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell

Yeah, who cares what the neighbors think? No biggie, right? But isn’t putting drugs in your date’s drink illegal? Isn’t denying your date safe transport home considered kidnapping? Isn’t drugging your date and keeping her against her will the precursors to rape? I guess it’s hard to break the “spell” of a drug once it’s already caused one’s eyes to sparkle like “starlight.”

I ought to say no, no, no – Mind if I move in closer?
At least I’m gonna say that I tried – What’s the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out
Ah, but it’s cold outside

Notice the “no, no, no” followed by the predator’s advancing moves (as a father, I wan’t to beat the crap out of this guy about now). She said “no,” but she also said she “ought” to say no. Well, what do you expect someone drugged to say??? Now you’ve got a girl who’s unable to decide for herself what to do and a guy who’s making her feel guilty for not putting out!! Whatever happened to the season of giving, not getting, hmmm?

I’ve got to get home – Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there
Say, lend me your coat – It’s up to your knees out there
You’ve really been grand – Thrill when you touch my hand
Why don’t you seeHow can you do this thing to me?

Don’t you just love this? It’s now around the fifth time this girl’s expressed her desire to leave her date’s house, but he won’t give up. Then she appeals to chivalry and asks for his coat, because by now she can’t remember why she doesn’t have one, even though it’s cold enough to be snowing. Does he give it to her like a gentleman should? No, he hides her coat (evidently) and continues to touch her! Finally, she begs him to recognize her reluctance, but all the animal can do is play mind games (a hallmark of predators).

There’s bound to be talk tomorrowThink of my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied – If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can’t stayGet over that holdout
Ah, but it’s cold outside
Oh, baby, it’s cold outside
Oh, baby, it’s cold outside

Once again, it’s all “poor me” from the predator, mixed in with a little twist of feigned caring (“Oh, you’ll get sick!”). Does he care about her reputation? Does he care about her at all? Evidently not. Even after she makes one last plea, all he can say is “get over your holding out on me!” Because, after all, it’s cold outside.

 – Lyrics: Frank Loesser, 1944

I’m dead serious about this, people. This is no joke! If we will allow every other little thing to offend our sensibilities, and yet allow this song to be played over the airwaves, we are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites.

Am I overreacting? What if it was YOUR daughter? 

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Filed under abuse, General Observations, Parenting