Tag Archives: children

Messin’ Wid Widdle Minds

Would-be Actual Grandpa

Now that I’m actually a grandfather, I have more of a right to act like one. You know, the kind of old guy that says what he wants to say when he wants to say it, then blames others for not understanding his wisdom. Yeah, that’s me –  I’m an up-and-coming old codger.

DSC_1390Grandfathers are also notorious/famous for telling tall tales, embellishing the facts, and leaving grand kids confused about actual historical events. Of course, the point of those stories is to keep a kid’s attention for more than 30 seconds; the straight truth can be boring at times.

So, now that I’m a real grandpa, I have a right to act like one on the school bus. It keeps me entertained.

The Conversation

Many times on Facebook I share short little conversations I’ve had with children on the bus (they say the darnedest things, you know). However, today I’m skipping Facebook and going straight to the blog.

I’m sure all of you are gonna hate me after you read this.

Me: Good morning.

5th Grade Boy: Good morning.

Me: How are you feeling today? You holding up?

Boy: What? Yeah, I’m ok. Why?

Me: I mean, it must be pretty hard; I heard the bad news.

Boy: What bad news?

Me: About your goldfish dying.

Boy: What? I don’t have a fish. At least not anymore. I haven’t had a fish in a long time.

Me: So it died.

Boy: I don’t know. I guess.

Me: Well I’m proud of you for taking it so well.

Boy: Uh, OK.

Me: And I heard about your cat, too. That was horrible.

Boy: Huh? What about my cat? Nothing happened to the cat.

Me: Well, I heard it died in a horrible freak lawnmower accident. I know that must be hard on you.

Boy: What? My cat didn’t die in a lawnmower accident! He just ran away.

Me: OK. If that’s what they tell you. You believe that.

         (temporary silence)

Boy: Guess what!? (says the boy to another kid in a seat beside him) I had a cat die in a freak lawnmower accident! Cool, huh??

I pity my grandchildren, don’t you?

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Filed under Humor

Kissing Deer and Talking Sharks

True story…

One morning a few years back (in 2013), as the first elementary children entered my bus, one child said to another, “Granny said to sit down!” Evidently, Granny had been giving some instruction on the way to the bus stop.

Teaching wisdom, one child at a time. Teaching wisdom, one child at a time.

As we started to pull away from the stop, I glanced back to my right and saw the youngest little girl standing, along with the grandmother scowling and pointing a finger from the sidewalk. “You shouldn’t be standing,” I said, “especially if your granny said not to.”

Then, after a 2-minute story of what this little kindergartner did for her birthday, I proceeded to share with the rest of the children and her what other things they shouldn’t do. Why did I do this? I don’t know, but it was certainly interesting to here their responses.

Things You Shouldn’t Do

  • Don’t eat worms with syrup. No matter what, they don’t taste like spaghetti.
    • “I did. They taste like chicken! And they’re slippery!”
  • Don’t ever kiss a deer on the lips.
    • One girl asked, “Why not?” Another answered, “Because it might want to go out on a date with you, and deer won’t fit in a car.”
    • “I saw a video where a guy made a deer mad because he took its picture.”
  • Never take a picture of a deer until you know it has makeup on and its hair done.
  • Never take a deer, or especially a moose, out to dinner on a date.
    • “Why not?” asked one girl. “Because a moose won’t fit into your car, for sure, and they won’t serve a moose at a restaurant!” said another. I said, “And a moose has no table manners and can’t use a fork,” to which a little girl replied, “that would be a mess.”
  • Never, ever, lick a cheese grater.
    • “Why not?”
  • If a bear comes up to you and asks, “Can I scratch your back?” say, “NO!”
    • “What if it wants to drive your car?”
  • If you are ever walking by the water, and a fish sticks it head out of the water to talk and says, “Hey, come over here,” don’t.
    • “Why?”
    • “Iffa shark eva stick it head outta da watah un say, ‘C’mere, I wanna tell you somp’n,‘ DON’T DO IT!”

Wisdom

Really, it is amazing how children can show practical wisdom, even when they have no experience. All some kids know is that if it ain’t natural, like a shark trying to start up a conversation, then run away.

However, as we grow older and “wiser,” the things that used to be so simple grow more complicated. We desire the forbidden pleasures Granny used to warn us about, along with every other experience a liberated mind can dream up. We date the moose and schedule tickle fests with grizzly bears.

But in a day when men and women pride themselves in experience and boast in the knowledge gained from sin, Wisdom cries out like the little old granny from the street, “Listen to me! I’m warning you!

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” declares the Psalmist (111:10). But fools, captivated by the unnatural, politically-correct, whatever-makes-me-happy talking shark, jump into the water.

Too bad real wisdom gets left on the bus.

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Filed under Culture Wars, current events, Defending Traditional Marriage, General Observations, Humor, Life Lessons, wisdom

God Help You, New York

The governor of New York will answer to God for his vile leadership.

I will stand for the lives of humans – yes, humans – killed (murdered) in the womb.

Those who rejoice at this law are no less pathetic than the guilty mob who cried “Crucify him! Crucify him!”

They shed the most innocent of blood on Calvary. Now the next best thing is to lift up pink lights as they butcher boys and girls.

Yes, I’m angry. But I can’t do anything about it. Only God can.

And He will.

https://www.lifenews.com/2019/01/23/one-world-trade-center-lit-up-pink-to-celebrate-new-york-passing-bill-legalizing-abortions-up-to-birth/

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/new-york-passes-abortion-bill-up-to-birth-due-date-if-mothers-health-is-at-risk-today-2019-01-23/

http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2019/01/new-york-has-finally-updated-its-archaic-abortion-law.html

UPDATE:

The above portion of this post was written on my iPhone after I read the first of the 3 attached articles. It made me so angry that I had to write something.

Now that I’ve had a few minutes to let things settle in, I’m more emboldened to use this platform to un-apologetically state my opinion on this whole issue – the issue of abortion.

As mentioned in the Intelligencer article above, this new law that Gov. Andrew Cuomo signed was meant to bring New York into the modern era by taking abortion off of the “illegal” list. It was celebrated as a victory for women’s reproductive rights and a slap in the face to President Trump.

“We should not have a federal government that is trying to roll back women’s rights … This administration (of President Donald Trump) defies American evolution.” – Andrew Cuomo

Well, Mr. Cuomo, if this is “evolution,” then I hope I don’t live to see the day when we evolve into even worse animals.

Just this week I became the grandfather to an adopted little girl. Born premature, she weighed less than 4 pounds, but she was every bit a precious little baby as one born full-term weighing 9.5 pounds.

As I sat there in the hospital holding little Emma’s perfectly-formed features, the thought crossed my mind, “How could anyone rip this little girl apart limb by limb?”

That little granddaughter of mine had not even reached full term, the age which a baby is right before coming out of the birth canal, and yet, all because of “women’s health,” she could have been pulled apart like Thanksgiving turkey and used for spare parts by Planned Parenthood, and some of the same people approving of it would protest killing the turkey!

Folks, I am totally, 100% against legalized abortion on demand. Totally, 100% against it!

“But what about the health of the mother?” Yeah, about that. You know that’s nothing more than a season pass to “shouting out your abortion” festivities. “Oh, I might get depressed if I have to become a mother,” the woman might say. In reply the butcher says, “Well, dear child who will fund my next vacation, we wouldn’t want that living, feeling, human being inside you to affect your health, would we?”

People will always have to make choices of life and death, and it’s never going to be easy. Some parent is going to have to choose which child he can save from a sinking automobile while the other drowns. Some husband is going to have to decide on behalf of his comatose wife to sacrifice the baby they had been longing for in order to save the love of his life, and the both will have aching hearts for what had to be done. NEITHER OF THEM would be prosecuted or accused of murder!

But abortion is thinking to yourself as the car sinks, “I can afford to put one through college, but not all three, so….” THAT is MURDER! And YES, I believe it should be prosecuted.

Abortionists should go to jail.

A woman that willfully pays to kill her unborn child for any reason other than to spare her own LIFE (not her bank account or party life), should be prosecuted. Yes, I said it, and I mean it with all my heart.

Yes, I believe Roe v. Wade should be overturned. Period.

I’ve said before, and I say it again: The modern abortion industry is nothing more than a veiled, modern version of Moloch worship. Those who don’t consciously realize the demonic influence behind what they are doing may not recognize the religious similarities, but they are no less participating than the in-name-only Christian who attends church functions and gives to missions.

You may read this and think you have all kinds of arguments to shoot me down. You may want to bring up the “coat hanger” argument and how I want women to die. You’re either an idiot, brainwashed, or have never take the time to think through this while holding a premature baby.

Murder is illegal. People still murder people, even though murder is illegal. Should we change the laws so that back-alley murders would be less gruesome?

Abortion, if done out of convenience, especially the kind that women celebrate and “shout out” while cursing at churches and running nude down the streets, is murder. Yes, I said murder. Killing a human being that isn’t trying to kill you is MURDER. Killing a human being that has not been convicted of a capital crime or treason – and what crime has a baby done except inconvenience somebody – is murder. MURDER!

THAT is why I believe God is going to judge Governor Andrew Cuomo, the ministers who pray blessing over abortion clinics, the state legislators of New York, and Democrats and Republicans who support and promote abortion.

God offers mercy and grace, but only to those who repent. The unrepentant are running New York. God help you.

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Filed under Abortion, Uncategorized

How Do You Pronounce This Word?

Grand

The word in question is a compound word. The first part of this compound word is a word that means big, large, awesome, piano, and showoff… I think.

Let me check….

Grand
    adjective

  1. a  :Having more importance than others
    b  :Having higher rank than others bearing the same general designation
  2. a  :Inclusive. Comprehensive
    b  :Definitive, Incontrovertible
  3. :Chief, Principle
  4. :Large and striking in size, scope, extent, or conception
  5. a  :Lavish, Sumptuous
    b  :Marked by a regal form and dignity
    c  :Fine or imposing in appearance or impression
    d  :Lofty, Sublime
  6. a  :Pretending to social superiority :supercilious
    b  :Intended to impress
  7.  :Very good :wonderful

Yep, pretty much what I thought.

Not An Animal Foot

Some people pronounce the second part of this compound word in the same way they would pronounce the foot of an animal with toes and claws. They would say it like “paw.” Therein lies the controversy.

The actual spelling of the word is pa, and it could be pronounced “pah,” like in pot, ‘possum, or “Pa! Half pint just punched Nelly in the face!”

Personally, probably because of the geographic area in which I was reared, I prefer the “paw” pronunciation, but not the spelling.

Compounded

When you put the two words together what you have is something that sounds like “the most important, impressive, wonderful animal foot,” but the way you should spell it is…

GRANDPA.

How would you pronounce it?

Details to follow. IF you’re interested, that is.

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Filed under Family, Parenting

Haley’s 18th

I will write more, later.

I will post some pictures, later.

But right now we are going out geocaching and having fun as a family.

Not that I really enjoy geocaching so much,

but because…

It’s my youngest baby’s 18th birthday,

and that is what she wants to do.

Happy birthday, Haley Brianna Baker

We love you! 

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Filed under Relationships and Family

If Children Ruled the World

Listen to the Children

Believe it or not, there are many who swear that true wisdom can be found in the words of young children. Especially in the aftermath of the last school shooting in Florida, political activists are jumping on the opportunity to drag them to state capitals and the White House.

Forget the need for a lifetime of experience…forget that the ones to whom some of these teens are mouthing off to have more security clearances than the Avengers…forget the idea of listing to one’s elders…listen to the wisdom of those who just learned to wear pull-ups and cut their own meat.

If we did what they wanted us to do – listen to the children – what would the world, or at least our country be like?

* No one would ever workexcept those who need to work so that others would not have to work.

* Every day would be Christmas, Halloween, and summer vacationas long as someone else buys the gifts, provides the candy, and drives them to the beach.

* There would be peace on earth and no more warsexcept when someone disrespects you or takes your candy.

* Everything should be available for the asking whenever it is wantedas long as we don’t have to be the ones providing it for someone else.

* There would be no need for multiple television channelsonly DisneyNickelodeonMTV, VH1, or Netflix (when not watching internet porn on smartphones, or sexting each other before hooking up). 

* Everyone would have everything they always wanted, whether they needed it, or notand still act like brats that never get anything they want and are always mistreated.

* No one would ever eat at home, only restaurantsthen complain about their weight.

* Education, if desired, would be determined by what the child thought was important … like “Queer Translation (UC Berkeley 250)” and “The Sociology of Miley Cyrus: Race, Class, Gender, and Media (Skidmore College).” Don’t believe me? Just Google it.

* Teachers, Doctors, Policemen, School Teachers, and Ministers would be disrespected and malignedwhile movie stars, rap and rock stars, and vulgar athletes would be deified.

* Animals would be considered equal with humansexcept when it came to leather clothing and Happy Meals.

* Hate would be outlawedunless you’re a policeman, a member of the NRA, a conservative Christian, or if you dare disagree with a crumb-crunching skull full of impressionable Silly Putty. 

 

Wait! Maybe the children are already in charge!

Source: Unknown

Source: Unknown

 

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Filed under America, Culture Wars, current events, General Observations

Parenting Advice for Those With Demonic, Screaming, Cursing Little Brats

“Too many parents try to reason with little individuals in whom ‘foolishness is bound,’ then in vain try to ‘drive it far from them’ with timeouts. I propose that a loving, biblical approach to parenting would serve themselves, their children, and the world much better.” – A. Baker

See Proverbs 22:15, along with Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 23:13-14; 29:15 and 17; Hebrews 12:11.

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Filed under Parenting