Category Archives: Struggles and Trials

26 Ways to Contribute to a Ruined Marriage

Like I mentioned in a previous post, because it is both Father’s Day AND our wedding anniversary, I thought I would share with you a list of things I jotted down the other night when I couldn’t go to sleep.

Folks, there are a lot of resources out there meant to help your marriage to succeed. However, not a lot of them specifically deal with things that can ruin your marriage. So, after 23 years of everything from marital bliss to marital warfare, I can speak with authority about the following items.

Why 26? Because that’s where I decided to stop. Each one of these could be expanded upon and sub-pointed.

26 Ways to Contribute to a Ruined Marriage (in no particular order)

  1. Never pray together as a couple.
  2. Think about yourself more than your spouse.
  3. Believe that what matters most is your personal happiness.
  4. Never pray for each other.
  5. Pursuing your own interests while ignoring those of your spouse.
  6. Saying negative things about your spouse to other people (especially those of the opposite sex).
  7. Having a “Plan B.”
  8. Spending all your time, energy, and money on your kids.
  9. Avoiding sexual intimacy.
  10. Pornography (soft sore, hard core, in print, in video, in literature – doesn’t matter).
  11. Flirting with others.
  12. Arguing and/or fighting, but with the sole objectives being to win or hurt the other.
  13. Materialism.
  14. Complacency.
  15. Bitterness.
  16. Not putting God first.
  17. Using each other.
  18. Lack of trust.
  19. Lack of, or poor communication.
  20. Baggage not dealt with.
  21. Running to Mother.
  22. Lack of leadership (for men).
  23. Lack of submission (for women).
  24. Too many single friends.
  25. Fear of / intimidated by your children.
  26. Pride.

Honestly, any one of the above items could lead to disaster, but what about when several of them are in play? The Enemy would love nothing better than to see your marriage fall to pieces or be nothing more than an empty shell.

Start over and give your relationships to God. He can rescue you, heal you, and restore you – but only if you will let Him.

3 Comments

Filed under Marriage, Struggles and Trials

June 6th… Would We Do It Again?

d day

Seventy-three years have passed since the pride of the Allies, 156,000 strong, stepped out of landing craft and jumped out of airplanes into the mouth of a monster ready to eat them alive.

Seventy-three years have passed since young men from America, England, and Canada (and we must not forget Australia, Belgium, Czechoslovakia, France, Greece, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway and Poland) landed on beaches called Utah, Omaha, Gold, Juno, and Sword.

Seventy-three years ago, long before the fancy rock-climbing walls which are so popular in today’s health clubs and gyms,  the 2nd Ranger battalion “led the way” up the 100 ft. cliffs of Pointe du Hoc.

Seventy-three years ago, on the 6th of June, 2,499 American and 1,914 from the other Allied nations, a total of 4,413, gave their lives for the sake of freedom.

Seventy-three years ago men were stepping on the backs of their comrades as they sloshed through red water, breathed in the mist of war, and wondered if they would live to see the ground only yards (meters) in front of them.

On June 6, 1944, seventy-three years ago, it was said of those who landed:

They fight not for the lust of conquest. They fight to end conquest. They fight to liberate.” — President Franklin D. Roosevelt, radio broadcast, June 6, 1944

It is the 6th of June, 2017, but are we still a people with the stomach to liberate? If we were the ones living seventy-three years ago, where would we be today?

Ask those in pajamas talking on free smart phones. Ask the protesters who don’t even know why they protest. Ask those who are burning the American flag because “America was never great.”

image

It cost a lot to buy seventy-three years of freedom. Would we do it again?

If not, God help us.

3 Comments

Filed under America, Countries, Culture Wars, current events, General Observations, Life Lessons, Struggles and Trials, World View

Fight On!

A word of encouragement from the “preacher.”  

“Are you fighting with the adversary today? Are Satan, the world, and the flesh, all against you? Be not discouraged nor dismayed. Fight on!… Fear not, you shall overcome, for who can defeat Omnipotence? Fight on, “looking unto Jesus;” and though long and stern be the conflict, sweet will be the victory, and glorious the promised reward.” – Charles H, Spurgeon 

Fight on, brothers! Fight on!

Leave a comment

Filed under Christianity, Faith, Life Lessons, ministry, Preaching, Struggles and Trials

All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand

There are times when a hymn can do what nothing else can do. The Solid Rock, written by Edward Mote (1797-1874), has been my favorite hymn for as long as I can remember, but for today it is on the second and third verse I want to focus.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath His covenant and blood
Support me in the ‘whelming flood:
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

Darkness does come, whether we want to admit it, or not. There are times when, like Shakespeare, I feel all I’m doing is “trouble[ing] deaf heaven with my bootless cries.” At times His loving face is hidden in the darkness, leaving me to feel like no one is listening, like no one cares.

But I will rest on His unchanging grace.

And when, in the darkness, I feel my ship tossed, I must remind myself that I am not the One responsible for the journey. When the darkness is so thick that it sucks away all light, leaving me only with the sensation of drifting, I must not fear…I must not lose hope…I must stay in the ship.

My anchor holds within the veil.

Am I forgotten? Is my purpose of not importance? What of my value that I should be left alone in the increasing depths of sorrow and doubt? Has He left me to drown as the waters rise around me? Is He unfaithful to finish what He has begun? NO! Of course not! His Word is true, and he cannot lie! He is faithful, even when I am not, and His promise of my rescue is sealed in His own blood!

His oath, His covenant, and His blood support me in the overwhelming flood.

When it seems like everything is caving in around me; when it seems like every place to stand becomes loose soil on the edge of a cliff; when all the advice in the world sounds hollow…

He, then, is all my hope and stay.

On Christ the Solid Rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.

All other ground but Jesus is sinking sand.

 

7 Comments

Filed under Struggles and Trials

Appreciate the Dandelions; They Are EVIDENCE!

My Katie

Guys (and I do mean that figuratively), you should really get to know my daughter, Katie. She is so gifted by God in photography, music, and even writing. But what most impresses me about Katie is her ability to see the wonder of God in the smallest of things.

Like I said, Katie is a gifted photographer. Her personal blog is called “Shutter Elf,” and features some seriously good photos. I can take a picture of something and it will look like a picture; Katie can take a picture of the exact same thing and it will be art.

Unfortunately, because of college and stinking Instagram, she doesn’t post as much on her blog. I wish she would do more, however. All it takes is a little browsing through her posts and you will notice not only her natural skill as a photographer, but her ability to bring meaning and insight to what the shutter captures.

The Dandelion

Last night, as I was wrapping things up and getting ready to shut things down, I happened to click on a blog post entitled “Overwhelmed.” Just click on the link and check it out.

The author of the blog (I don’t know her name) concluded her post with the following words:

“So today I pray instead for the Lord to show me the value in the dandelions, the treasures to be found hidden in our afflictions, to open my eyes to His blessings safely tucked within the weeds.”

That’s when I had to comment, and the comment consisted of me asking her to do what I’m going to ask you to do…

Read Katie’s post about dandelions! You will never look at them the same again!

Oh, and try to encourage Katie to post more by leaving a comment and subscribing to her blog. 🙂

Click HERE, or on the picture, to read “DANDELIONS.”

Photo Credit: Katie Marie

 

Leave a comment

Filed under blogging, God, Guest Posts, Relationships and Family, Struggles and Trials, worship

Made Perfect in Weakness

A Note

A few years ago (2013) I received a note in the mail from one of my congregation. It was such an encouragement that I wanted to share it with all of you.

Dear Anthony,

You and our family are such a blessing to me.

Wednesday p.m. service was a comfort to me and I know from what three other people shared it was a comforting message they needed to hear, too.

I seems when you are most broken, weary, discouraged, Jesus and the Word pour through you in a powerful way, and we are touched.

Your prayer was like a shepherd interceding for his sheep. 

Thank you for always being so sensitive to the Holy Spirit.

I am blessed to sit under a man of God who teaches and preaches the true Word of God.

You are continually in my prayers…

You see, there are times when we find ourselves wondering if we are even making a difference. But even though we may feel like we are useless at times, the truth of Scripture rings true…

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

Send your pastor a note of encouragement. I know he will appreciate it. 

1 Comment

Filed under Christian Maturity, Christian Unity, General Observations, Life Lessons, ministry, Preaching, self-worth, Struggles and Trials

Wake Up and Seize the Day

There are days when one sleeps late, therefore doesn’t get out of bed on time to go to work, or something like that.

Then there are other days when you’ve worked hard (or partied hard) the night before, so you decide to sleep a little longer in the morning.

Sometimes we get the flu, or just a cold, and when morning comes there’s nothing else to do but pull the covers over your head and have your spouse cancel all your appointments.

Then there are times when the last thing you want to do is get out of bed and face another day. Putting your feet on the ground will mean having to do something, to think through something, to deal with somebody, or face an insurmountable situation.

That’s the kind of day I’m having; I just didn’t want to get out of bed.

Nevertheless, I’m up, or I wouldn’t be writing this. If nothing else, having a little dog that can’t figure out how to use a toilet and can’t open the front door sorta makes staying in bed indefinitely a problem. Oh for a doggie door!

But I must remind myself that each and every day is a day the Lord has made. To waste it – even the parts I don’t like – is to waste a priceless gift the Creator has given me. It might be difficult at the moment, but I must “rejoice and be glad in it.”

I have the physical strength to face another day, but my mental and spiritual strength is weak. Does that give me an excuse? Well, what does “when I am weak, He is strong” mean? Does it only apply to the day after a workout?

Some might call it depression. Some might call it the blues. Some might chalk it up to working, more or less, seven days a week (wait, how could I work “more” than seven days?). Some might call it burnout. Whatever it is, I’m breathing, the sun is shining, I’m just a steward of what has been given me, and there’s no guarantee of a tomorrow.

Both riches and honour [come] of thee, and thou reignest over all; and in thine hand [is] power and might; and in thine hand [it is] to make great, and to give strength unto all. – 1 Chronicles 29:12 KJV

The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace. – Psalm 29:11 KJV

Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live: and let me not be ashamed of my hope. – Psalm 119:116 KJV

God gave this day to us for a reason, so we must seize it! Carpe diem! Who knows? Home might be just around the corner.

2 Comments

Filed under Depression, General Observations, Life Lessons, Struggles and Trials