Category Archives: abuse

Florida Flock Hires A Sheep-Eater for Shepherd

A Week of Blah (Health Update)

I have been feeling under the weather (sick) for most of the week. I went to the doctor just to make sure that I did not have the flue (or Coronavirus), and the test was negative. I just had a bad case of an acute stomach virus or food poisoning. That was good news, especially considering I was determined to speak at a funeral service on Thursday.

However, for the rest of the week I have been wiped out – no energy, thirsty, little appetite, and no desire for coffee (yeah, something’s really wrong). Every time I get up to do anything, I feel like I need to sit back down. It’s been miserable.

But then I read a news story that injected some adrenalin into my veins and animated my limbs (at least my fingers). I knew I had to say something, the sooner the better. Anger overcame lethargy.

Florida Church Hires a Wolf

The headline of the story read like this: “Florida church members split after ‘registered sex offender’ returns to preach“.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? What kind of idiots would do such a thing? Are they stupid? Crazy?

No, actually, they are probably like so many other Christians who believe the right thing to do is forgive, and they’ve likely never experienced the fangs of a predator within their flock. Or, maybe they’re just the stick-a-fork-in-a-socket kind of dumb.

Click here and check out the video from this local Jacksonville news station.

A Must Read – Seriously!

The Amazon link may show a different cover, but this is the book.

Dear friends, wherever you are, I beg of you…I plead with you!.. order this book by Dr. Anna C Salter. My wife and I were given a copy several years ago by a family counselor who was tasked with helping us heal from the wounds of a sexual predator. As we read it, we both became physically ill, not simply from the content, but how we had been duped by a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

The reason why I became so angry when I read the story of how Mt. Ararat Baptist Church in Jacksonville hired a convicted sex offender is that they evidently don’t know what they are dealing with! They’ve never read a book like this! If they had, this guy’s name would have never been considered, not even for an outside gutter sweeper!

Tell Me, Why?

I don’t know what they used for justification, but those who suggested Rev. Darrell Gilyard as a candidate for pastor should be tarred and feathered for furthering the endangerment of children and women. His name should have never even been considered!

So, why is it that he was picked? Why did anyone vote him in? I can only guess, and here are a few that come to mind:

  • He’s a great, powerful preacher; he’s gonna have his weaknesses.
  • He never really did any of the things he was accused of or found guilty of. All were simply misunderstandings.
  • He did commit a horrible sin, but that was in 2009, and he has paid his debt to society. Are we to still treat him like he’s a criminal?
  • God is the God of second chances.
  • If Jesus Christ forgave him for his sin, then who are we to hold it over him?
  • He may have done those things in the past, but he is a changed man, now.

But let me tell you how it really is and should be (If you’re the soft-hearted type that can’t stand the sight of blood, look away; it’s going to get brutal.)

Reality

Sex offenders, rapists, pedophiles, and child molesters are predators. They do not change. They are never reformed. They will always have a taste for prey.

Oh, I know what some of you are thinking. You are shocked that a good-ole Baptist preacher like me would claim anyone is beyond the saving grace and changing power of the blood of Jesus Christ, right? Well, that’s not what I’m saying.

God can change anyone. Period. If the Word of God is true (and I believe it is), if anyone repents and accepts Jesus as Lord and Savior, he will become a new creature: a born-again individual with a new nature that seeks to please God, not the flesh (2 Cor. 5:17).

But how do you typically know when people have been changed by God, saved by His grace, given a new heart, etc.? Their testimony.

In other words, by their words and their works they testify to the change that has taken place. And who doesn’t love a good testimony story, amen?

The only problem is that every predator that infiltrates a church usually does it with a GREAT testimony. Then, before long, he/she is put in a place of authority with access to all the victims he wants, even if he has to groom them a little while before he feasts.

In the news video from Chanel 4 in Jacksonville, one of the pastor’s supporters (James Andrews) said something very telling. He said, “I forgave him.

Stop and think about that for just a moment, would you? What did this man have to forgive him for? What did Darrell Gilyard do to him? What does his forgiveness have to do with anything, really?

The first news story I read referenced another in which Gilyard was asked if he thought he’d changed.

“Of course I believe I have changed. But time will tell everyone if I have changed,” Gilyard told First Coast News in 2014. “I’m a believer in when you do something wrong, you pay the price. But do you pay the price forever?”

What the Hades?!! Is he really that ignorant? He evidently thinks we are.

  • The predator doesn’t tell the prey he is dangerous.
  • Time is not a luxury any church can afford when it comes to this.
    • Anna Salter interviewed a young deacon (only in his 20’s) who had been convicted of sexually molesting a young boy in his youth group. Before he was arrested for that, he was accused of other things, but he cleverly picked children with histories of lying, so no one believed them. By the time he was put away, he voluntarily confessed to 95 other victims. What did time tell?
  • Yes, for some things you DO pay the price forever. The girls you molested certainly will. And have you ever heard of Hell?
  • For the safety of your children, you can NEVER, EVER trust a convicted sex offender. Never. No second chances. None.

What Now?

So, what would I do if I were in the shoes of the folk there at Mt. Ararat Baptist? First, I would immediately fire Mr. Gilyand. I would not even allow him to preach a good-bye sermon. He had no business – NONE – even being behind the pulpit according to the books of Timothy and Titus.

After getting rid of Mr. Gilyand, the congregation of Mt. Ararat needs to re-evaluate what it was that made them approve of hiring a wolf to lead them, then repent and ask forgiveness from God. After that, never let the same people serve on any search committee again.

For everyone else, especially if you are a church leader, order Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, & Other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We Can Protect Ourselves and Our Children, by Anna C Salter, Ph.D.

Be sober. Be vigilant. – 1 Peter 5:8


If you would like for us to share our personal experiences dealing with a sexual predator within our (former) flock, my wife and I would love to talk with you. Comment below or email me at PastorACBaker@yahoo.com.

 

189 Comments

Filed under abuse, Church, current events

How Do You Treat Something Priceless?

Do you think of other people as valuable?

How valuable? Would you consider them priceless?

Just imagine, what if you could say you held in your hand a small item, a one-of-a-kind, totally unique, and personally made by God Himself? How would you treat it?

Would you hold it carefully, caress it, watch over it?

Would you toss it in the trash, make fun of it, or abuse it?

Are we not unique? Are we not “fearfully and wonderfully made” by God? Are we not valuable beyond compare? Did God not offer His own Son as a ransom for our souls?

For you know that you were redeemed from your empty way of life inherited from your fathers, not with perishable things like silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of an unblemished and spotless lamb. – 1 Peter 1:18-19 CSB

Then why do we treat each other the way we do?

We should treat each other as priceless because we are!

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Filed under Abortion, abuse, Culture Wars, General Observations, ministry, World View

Perfection Not Required

“Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.”

“And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.” – Luke 18:11, 13

Looking for Perfection?

God doesn’t use perfect people; He uses REAL people. Yet sadly, within the church, there are many men and women who have felt inferior and useless because of sinful and broken pasts.

They are the people who sit on the pews, week after week, doing all they can to be faithful in life, but are forbidden to hold positions in the church.  

They are much like the Publican, men and women who know they have failed before, but want to be forgiven and start new.  They are not the ones that look down on others for mistakes they’ve made. 

Genesis of Dysfunction

A while back I read through the book of Genesis in a couple of sittings.  Reading a book of the Bible that way, especially in a different translation, can help you see the story from a new perspective.  This time I was just astounded at how messed up these people really were!  There was so much “stuff” going on that if it were today, it would make an episode of Jerry Springer look tame!

Consider, if nothing else, the sad story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel. This was a seriously messed up family with real marital problems.  At one point, Leah and Rachel get into a jealous argument over a son’s mandrakes.  Just imagine you were a marriage counselor and listened in to the following story…

Reuben went out during the wheat harvest and found some mandrakes in the field.  When he brought them to his mother, Leah, Rachel asked, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.”  But Leah replied to her, Isn’t it enough that you have taken my husband?  Now you also want my son’s mandrakes?”

“Well,” Rachel said, “you can sleep with him tonight in exchange for your son’s mandrakes.”  When Jacob came in from the field that evening, Leah went out to meet him and said, “You must come with me, for I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.”  So Jacob slept with her that night. – Geneses 30:14:16 HCSB

Check this out…

  • Twice Abraham told other people that his wife, Sarah, was his sister so that he would not be harmed.
  • Joseph’s brothers hated him and sold him to traveling salesmen.
  • Jacob and Esau were seriously at odds.
  • Leah, poor thing, kept trying to have children so that her husband, Jacob would love her.

And there’s more!

  • Jacob’s father-in-law, Laban, got him drunk on his wedding night and gave him the wrong wife – on purpose.
  • The son’s of Jacob (founders of ten of the tribes of Israel) lied to a bunch of men about making a covenant, then proceeded to slaughter all of them after they had convinced them to be circumcised.

It just goes on and on.  Messed up, I am telling you! MESSED UP!

Nevertheless,

God told Abraham in Genesis 12:2-3: “And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.”  How is this even possible?  

If God can use Abraham and his family with all their problems to bless the nations, then He can use ANYBODY!

 

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Filed under Abortion, abuse, Christian Living, Do not judge, Faith, General Observations, legalism, Relationships and Family, Struggles and Trials, World View

Baby, It’s Still Cold Outside

Just a quick thought….

A lot of push back has bubbled up this year from those who are tired of the easily-offended expressing their outrage. Now that the #metoo crowd has angrily entered the political correctness battleground, the whining and complaining has reached a new level of chalk-board-scraping irritation.

That being said, we shouldn’t let the snowflakes of the world callous us to the truth. A snowman may say it’s comfortable in 0-degree weather, but it’s still freezing.

Those who are always looking for something about which to be critical can find racism, bigotry, misogyny, and any number of phobias wherever they search. They are as equally quick to dismiss the mores of past generations as they are to view situations from the past through their own distorted lenses. So, they have no problem with criticizing Charlie Brown for being a racist and Rudolph’s unsupportive social structure for contributing to mental abuse.

But when it comes to how a man should treat a woman, especially from a holy, God-fearing, gentlemanly perspective, it’s never OK to talk her into doing something that might besmirch her reputation, dishonor her parents, or leave her with feelings of guilt or regret. What’s more, there’s nothing loving about a man trying to sweet talk a reluctant female into satisfying his own selfish sexual desires.

And from a Christian perspective, it’s unwise to flippantly toss around a song that glorifies sexual indiscretion, seduction, and using another person against his or her best wishes to fulfill an illicit sexual impulse.

And if that means you need to reevaluate what you listen to the rest of the year, not just during Christmas when “It’s Cold Outside,” then so be it.

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Filed under abuse, Christmas, current events, General Observations, music, Weather

A Sexually Predaceous Christmas Song

The liberal left and I finally agree on something! I’ve been saying this for years!

PC Policing

Just in case you haven’t noticed, everything and its grandma has to be politically correct these days. The whole world (or at least Western society) has become nothing but a bunch of whining victims looking for any reason to get offended.

Last week the offended left expressed their hurt feelings in the Huffington Post as they condemned the 1964 classic “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Why? Because it supposedly supports the marginalization of people who are different.

But what really irritates me is that the Left-leaning snowflakes have finally caught on to something I have tried to point out for several years, that “Baby It’s Cold Outside” should offend us. And the sad thing is that conservative commentators – folks usually on my side of things – are poo-poo-ing the complaint.

Believe me, I hate to agree with liberals, but I do think “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is offensive.

“No!” Means “NO!”

A Winter Romance album cover“Baby It’s Cold Outside” absolutely disgusts me. Every time I hear it sung on the radio (usually by Dean Martin), primarily during the Christmas season, it makes my blood boil! But what happens when I complain? Nothing; it’s “just an innocent song,” they say.

It’s just a “cat and mouse” thing, they say.

But seriously, would you just consider the lyrics? Have we not progressed to the point in society where we recognize red flags when we see them? Or, are we still in the age when it’s perfectly acceptable to coerce a woman, to interpret her “no” as a “yes”?

Is it acceptable these days to care nothing about a girl’s feelings and reputation all because your pride might get hurt if she says no to your advances? Well, that’s all “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is; an aroused sexual predator pressuring a reluctant date to stay the night, drugging her if necessary.

Red Flags

To make my point, I have included the lyrics to “Baby It’s Cold Outside” in this post, highlighting and commenting along the way.

“Baby It’s Cold Outside”

I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside
This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice

Up until this point, it’s not that bad. Asking someone to stay the night is not the problem (from a legal sense). But things start to progress from questionable to insensitive pressuring very quickly.

My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry?
Father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
Maybe just a half a drink more – Put some records on while I pour

So, the girl actually cares about the feelings of her parents – imagine that! But does that matter to the guy? No. He cares nothing for her fears or her parents feelings – sounds like a real “keeper.”

The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink?No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell – I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell

Yeah, who cares what the neighbors think? No biggie, right? But isn’t putting drugs in your date’s drink illegal? Isn’t denying your date safe transport home considered kidnapping? Isn’t drugging your date and keeping her against her will the precursors to rape? I guess it’s hard to break the “spell” of a drug once it’s already caused one’s eyes to sparkle like “starlight.”

I ought to say no, no, no – Mind if I move in closer?
At least I’m gonna say that I tried – What’s the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out
Ah, but it’s cold outside

Notice the “no, no, no” followed by the predator’s advancing moves (as a father, I wan’t to beat the crap out of this guy about now). She said “no,” but she also said she “ought” to say no. Well, what do you expect someone drugged to say??? Now you’ve got a girl who’s unable to decide for herself what to do and a guy who’s making her feel guilty for not putting out!! Whatever happened to the season of giving, not getting, hmmm?

I’ve got to get home – Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there
Say, lend me your coat – It’s up to your knees out there
You’ve really been grand – Thrill when you touch my hand
Why don’t you seeHow can you do this thing to me?

Don’t you just love this? It’s now around the fifth time this girl’s expressed her desire to leave her date’s house, but he won’t give up. Then she appeals to chivalry and asks for his coat, because by now she can’t remember why she doesn’t have one, even though it’s cold enough to be snowing. Does he give it to her like a gentleman should? No, he hides her coat (evidently) and continues to touch her! Finally, she begs him to recognize her reluctance, but all the animal can do is play mind games (a hallmark of predators).

There’s bound to be talk tomorrowThink of my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied – If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can’t stayGet over that hold out
Ah, but it’s cold outside
Oh, baby, it’s cold outside
Oh, baby, it’s cold outside

Once again, it’s all “poor me” from the predator, mixed in with a little twist of feigned caring (“Oh, you’ll get sick!”). Does he care about her reputation? Does he care about her at all? Evidently not. Even after she makes one last plea, all he can say is “get over your holding out on me!” Because, after all, it’s cold outside.

 – Lyrics written by: Frank Loesser, 1944

I’m dead serious about this, people. This is no joke! If we will allow every other little thing to offend our sensibilities, and yet allow this song to be played over the airwaves without saying something, we are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites.

However, unlike the liberals on the left, I don’t think the song should be “banned.” When we start banning things, we start down a dark road. But at the very least we shouldn’t promote it or sing it without considering the message it promotes.

Am I overreacting? What if it was YOUR daughter? 

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Filed under abuse, General Observations, Parenting

The Elephant In the Kavanaugh Hearing Room

My friends, we are going to disagree on different things, and whether or not Justice Brett Kavanaugh should be on the Supreme Court of the United States is probably one of them. Some (well, a few) people I highly respect think voting for Judge Kavanaugh to be confirmed is insane, and that we should at the very least be doing an additional FBI background check into the allegations of rape as presented by Dr. Dianne Ford.

Then, there are others like myself who think it’s insane to believe that the whole fiasco being spread across the airwaves and social media is an example of the worst Washington, D.C. has to offer those who are pro-life, support traditional definitions of marriage, and did not vote for Hillary Clinton in the last presidential election.

However, one thing has been an integral part of both testimonies: ALCOHOL.

Let me go on record, if I haven’t already, by stating that I do not believe it is biblical to categorically claim that consuming beverage alcohol is a sin; there is no scripture that says it is, only those of which some may attempt squeeze out an implication (they eisegete rather than exegete). However, there is plenty of scripture that clearly spells out the dangers of unwise consumption and abuse of alcohol, all of which is sinful and destructive.

For just a moment, would somebody stop praising Dr. Ford for being a brave victim while I back away while I temporarily back away from defending the qualifications of Judge Kavanaugh? Why were these people allowed to publicly consume alcohol when they were teenagers? Why did Kavanaugh’s upper-crust high school yearbook glorify teenage drunkenness like it was a right of passage? Where were all the adults when all these supposed drinking parties took place?

Who drives their 15-year-old daughter to a party where alcohol is going to be consumed and then does nothing about it when she comes home smelling like booze?

What is so wonderful about teenagers knowing the names of drinking games?

And, Judge Kavanaugh, you were proud to remain a virgin until marriage, but nowhere in your study of Scripture was it obvious that drunkenness could lead to situations in which you might find yourself asking, “What did I do last night?”

Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has conflicts? Who has complaints? Who has wounds for no reason? Who has red eyes? [30] Those who linger over wine; those who go looking for mixed wine. [31] Don’t gaze at wine because it is red, because it gleams in the cup and goes down smoothly. [32] In the end it bites like a snake and stings like a viper. [33] Your eyes will see strange things, and you will say absurd things. [34] You’ll be like someone sleeping out at sea or lying down on the top of a ship’s mast. [35] “They struck me, but I feel no pain! They beat me, but I didn’t know it! When will I wake up? I’ll look for another drink.” [Pro 23:29-35 CSB]

Guilty or not, the elephant in the room is the foolishness of those who think alcohol played no part in this. It did – big time. And the footprints are trackable through the ruined lives who abused the stuff.

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Filed under abuse, Alcohol, America, current events, politics, wisdom

A Sexually Predaceous Christmas Song

Every year around this time I will re-publish this post. My opinion is the same this year as it was last year.


“No!” Means “NO!”

A Winter Romance album coverI don’t know about you, but “Baby It’s Cold Outside” absolutely disgusts me. Every time I hear it sung on the radio (usually by Dean Martin), primarily during the Christmas season, it makes my blood boil! But what happens when I complain? Nothing; it’s “just an innocent song,” they say.

It’s just a “cat and mouse” thing, they say.

But seriously, would you just consider the lyrics? Have we not progressed to the point in society where we recognize red flags when we see them? Or, are we still in the age when it’s perfectly acceptable to coerce a woman, to interpret her “no” as a “yes”?

Is it acceptable these days to care nothing about a girl’s feelings and reputation all because your pride might get hurt if she says no to your advances? Well, that’s all “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is; an aroused sexual predator pressuring a reluctant date to stay the night, drugging her if necessary.

Red Flags

To make my point, I have included the lyrics to “Baby It’s Cold Outside” in this post, highlighting and commenting along the way.

“Baby It’s Cold Outside”

I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside
This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice

Up until this point, it’s not that bad. Asking someone to stay the night is not the problem (from a legal sense). But things start to progress from questionable to insensitive pressuring very quickly.

My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry?
Father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
Maybe just a half a drink more – Put some records on while I pour

So, the girl actually cares about the feelings of her parents – imagine that! But does that matter to the guy? No. He cares nothing for her fears or her parents feelings – sounds like a real “keeper.”

The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink?No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell – I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell

Yeah, who cares what the neighbors think? No biggie, right? But isn’t putting drugs in your date’s drink illegal? Isn’t denying your date safe transport home considered kidnapping? Isn’t drugging your date and keeping her against her will the precursors to rape? I guess it’s hard to break the “spell” of a drug once it’s already caused one’s eyes to sparkle like “starlight.”

I ought to say no, no, no – Mind if I move in closer?
At least I’m gonna say that I tried – What’s the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out
Ah, but it’s cold outside

Notice the “no, no, no” followed by the predator’s advancing moves (as a father, I wan’t to beat the crap out of this guy about now). She said “no,” but she also said she “ought” to say no. Well, what do you expect someone drugged to say??? Now you’ve got a girl who’s unable to decide for herself what to do and a guy who’s making her feel guilty for not putting out!! Whatever happened to the season of giving, not getting, hmmm?

I’ve got to get home – Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there
Say, lend me your coat – It’s up to your knees out there
You’ve really been grand – Thrill when you touch my hand
Why don’t you seeHow can you do this thing to me?

Don’t you just love this? It’s now around the fifth time this girl’s expressed her desire to leave her date’s house, but he won’t give up. Then she appeals to chivalry and asks for his coat, because by now she can’t remember why she doesn’t have one, even though it’s cold enough to be snowing. Does he give it to her like a gentleman should? No, he hides her coat (evidently) and continues to touch her! Finally, she begs him to recognize her reluctance, but all the animal can do is play mind games (a hallmark of predators).

There’s bound to be talk tomorrowThink of my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied – If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can’t stayGet over that holdout
Ah, but it’s cold outside
Oh, baby, it’s cold outside
Oh, baby, it’s cold outside

Once again, it’s all “poor me” from the predator, mixed in with a little twist of feigned caring (“Oh, you’ll get sick!”). Does he care about her reputation? Does he care about her at all? Evidently not. Even after she makes one last plea, all he can say is “get over your holding out on me!” Because, after all, it’s cold outside.

 – Lyrics: Frank Loesser, 1944

I’m dead serious about this, people. This is no joke! If we will allow every other little thing to offend our sensibilities, and yet allow this song to be played over the airwaves, we are nothing but a bunch of hypocrites.

Am I overreacting? What if it was YOUR daughter? 

11 Comments

Filed under abuse, General Observations, Parenting