Tag Archives: Weather

Rainy Sundays, and What God Evidently Needs to Know

Rain Rain Go Away

Photo credit: Haley Baker

Well, according to the weatherman (or as Canadian PM Trudeau might say “Weatherperson”), it’s going to be a rainy Sunday. But doesn’t God realize rain on Sunday is a bad idea?

I mean, seriously, with the documented decline in church attendance, you’d think God would know better, right? Why does He choose to place such a heavy burden on the faithful? Why does he choose to put their health and lives at risk by covering the roads with slippery precipitation (rain)?

Maybe its a simple case of miscommunication. Maybe the One who covers the sky with clouds and prepares rain for the earth (Psalm 147:8) should be better informed.

Informative Prayer

So, in an effort to help my fellow brothers and sisters, I’m going to put together a bullet-pointed list of issues that must be addressed if God wants to get more people out of their houses and into His house on a rainy Sunday.

Let us intercede for each other as we take the following concerns before the throne of He who calms the stormy seas. Would you pray with me?

Dear Heavenly Father, Maker of Heaven and Earth, Mighty God,

  • It’s too hard for us to wake up in the morning when it’s raining; you make our beds too comfortable. Yes, we know we can get up and go to work when it’s storming, but we’ve got to do that – it’s expected of us. However, church is a choice, and you make it much too difficult.
  • You love a “cheerful giver,” but it’s too hard for us to wake up “cheerful” without sunshine. How can the church pay its bills if we’re not there to cheerfully give our $5 bills? You need us.
  • You say it’s a sin to be presumptuous (Psalm 19:13; 2 Peter 2:10), so why would you want us to presume your angels are going to keep us safe on these wet roads? If Jesus wouldn’t jump off the top of the temple, then is it wise for us to leap into traffic? Of course not!
  • And, Lord, we feel we must remind you of something: We are not Jesus. Not even close. So, please understand, walking on water and hydroplaning are not the same thing.

Amen.

Now, if you actually did pray the above prayer, you need more than church – you need Jesus.

The sea is his, and he made it: and his hands formed the dry land. O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker. – Psalm 95:5-6

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Filed under Christian Maturity, Christianity, Church, Humor, Weather

The Devolution of Society as Evidenced By the Gender of a Singer

This morning I stopped by a Hardee’s to get a biscuit for breakfast. Upon walking in, I heard a familiar Christmas song – one that I actually like – being played.

Let It Snow

But what has society become when a woman is the one singing this song? Is there no more chivalry in the world?

That’s right, a female was singing: “When we finally kiss goodnight, how I hate going out in the storm. But if you really hold me tight, all the way home I’ll be warm.”

What kind of jerk would sit there by the fireplace, continue to watch It’s a Wonderful Life, and let his girlfriend walk home in a blizzard? Is there no decency left? Can she not find someone better than this?

So, I drew the following illustration on my phone.

Ladies – you know who you are – leave “Let It Snow” for the guys to sing. Western Civilization is at stake.

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Filed under Christmas, General Observations, Humor, Uncategorized, Weather

It Never Fails (almost)

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down to a computer with the intent of writing something awesome, something just bursting from within, and then I have to shut down the computer because of lightning. 

Today is one of those days. 

Maybe later I will change your life with something profound, but for now, as you can see from the image below, it’s time to unplug. We don’t trust surge protectors that much. 

  

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Filed under Weather, writing

Happy President’s Day! Pass the Kleenex

Nothing much has changed in the last 5 years since I first made this little video.

Wait a cotton-pick’n minute! What am I saying?? Plenty has changed in the last five years!

  • I’ve gained weight
  • My wife has lost weight
  • I started pastoring my 3rd church
  • One of my daughters survived 3 years of finals, even though she swore each year she would die.
  • We had a record-setting presidential election – and some of us survived.
  • I went from driving a cool car to driving a mini-van.
  • My 49-year no-bug-eating streak came to an end.

But what has not changed is that people are still getting sick, especially with the typical seasonal allergies, colds, and flu’s that are spread around every year around this time.

While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. – Genesis 8:22

Therefore, even though the following video was made 5 years ago, it’s still perfectly applicable for today 🙂

Enjoy!

(P.S. Yes, the flag is hanging inappropriately, but what does a monkey know? The stars should be on the left.)

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Filed under America, Monday Monkey

Kindled But a Little

This morning I left home early to retrieve my daughter from the college where she attends and resides. On the ride up to Bryan College, and then on the way back with her in the van, I listened to a sermon delivered years ago by Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones. Taken from Psalm chapter 2,  the title was “Why Do the Heathen Rage?”

One particular point that the great old preacher stressed was that God has allowed many things to happen to men and nations, all because they have spurned His guidance. The heathen of the world, those that want nothing to do with God, conspire with each other, plan together, and do all they can do to live without God’s Law.

They raise their unified voices in harmonious rebellion as they cry out, “Let us break free from the restraints of this imaginary “lawgiver” and cast them utterly aside!”

Yet, God laughs.

And then He lets them see how life works with no restraints, no laws, no God.

When His anger is kindled but just a little, He takes away His providential hand and lets man destroy himself. Is this not what we see even today? Men destroying themselves because they refuse to live by God’s most simple commands?

But even yet, we have only seen God’s wrath kindled but a little, and men “perish from the way.”

OH! What it will be like when God pours out His wrath upon men? How will they that mock Him stand? They won’t.

Oh, if they could only get a glimpse of the mighty terror of the Creator!

Then, on the way back home this morning, as the sun was rising over a cold, cloudy Chattanooga, I saw light break through the gray and stream upon the city below.

From one small, blazingly-bright spot emanated white beams. At this sight I said to Katie, “You know, that sort of looks like an eye, but instead of a black pupil, the pupil is light, and the streams of light make up the iris.”

Then I thought of the descriptions of the returning Christ as spoken of in the Book of Revelation. Fire. Righteousness.

I drove home as fast as I could and started drawing this picture. It’s the best I could do. And then I began to write what you are reading.

IMG_4052

And this was but one eye.

And it was only the sun in the sky, not the Son.

And on Him was the wrath of God poured out for me! OH, the GRACE OF GOD that He would love me! “What is man that Thou are mindful of him?”

And then once more I contemplated the text Dr. Lloyd-Jones read…

Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish [from] the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed [are] all they that put their trust in him. – Psalm 2:12

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Those that are wise fear Him. Those that fear Him love Him. Those that love Him rest in His mercy and grace.

And all this made me shudder as tears came into my own eyes.

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Filed under current events, Faith, General Observations, God, worship

“The Worst Field Trip Guide”

Because of the recent bad weather (or whatever it’s supposed to be), a field trip I was scheduled to run was cancelled. With that in mind, I thought you might enjoy a selection from my little book Life Lessons from the School Bus. The following is “Stop #15.” And, yes, I did all the illustrating 🙂

One day I transported 80 kindergartners on a field trip to a mountain forest. Do you have any idea how loud 80 excited 5 year-olds can get when confined in a 40ft.-long steel box on wheels?

Teacher Talk

I couldn’t help overhear the advice school teachers were giving to the little crumb crunchers on the bus, then later after they unloaded. One warned, “Don’t pick anything up from the ground; you won’t be able to keep it, anyway.” Another said, “Don’t bounce on the swinging bridge; just look over the side.” Seriously? How can you tell a 5 year-old not to jump on a swinging bridge and then expect him not to jump on the swinging bridge?

SIDE NOTE: I remember when our oldest daughter, Alicia, who was around 12 or 13 at the time, went with me to visit the old capital building in Frankfort, Kentucky. In that old landmark is a genuine floating staircase on which Alicia decided to jump up and down. I asked, “What are you doing?” She calmly replied, “Trying to see if it will fall.” I said, “Two things…First, it’s been here since 1827 and hasn’t fallen, yet you think your scrawny self is going to break it? Second, why would you want to be on it if you could make it fall?”

Anyway… the best piece of advice from the teachers was clear enough: “Do NOT get off the trail!” But again, honestly, how many kids actually listen to instructions that make sense? I mean, you take a child that’s never been out of the suburbs to a forest with plants taller than their apartment buildings and you expect them not to run amuck? Therefore, I decided to speak up and add some clarification to the teachers’ warning. I said, “Because if you get off the trail, we might have to send the DOGS after you.”

Who knew one little girl was afraid of dogs? I didn’t! …Cry baby.

Bad Advice

So, that got me to thinking: what would be the worst advice to give 80 children before a trip into the woods?

  • photo 3 (4)Don’t worry about your lunch box; the forest is full of pretty berries.
  • As long as the animal is smaller than you, go ahead and pet it. It won’t mind.
  • Hey, bounce on the swinging bridge! It’s just like a trampoline.
  • Of course! Rules are meant to be broken.
  • Bears? What bears? This is Tennessee, kid. We don’t have bears. You’re thinking of Chicago.
  • I don’t care what your mom said, poison oak is a hoax. Don’t your parents have oak furniture? Does it make you itch? See, she lied.
  • Who can get closest to the edge? Let’s find out.
  • Whatever you do, don’t stay on the trail. Trails are for babies.
  • Snakes are overrated, misunderstood jump ropes. They want you to play with them.

Life Lesson

Thankfully, when it comes to the wilderness of life, there is One who always gives good advice.

In his famous Psalm 23, David wrote, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” God urges us to stay on the path that He has already walked, which is why Jesus said in Matthew 4:19, “Follow me.”

He knows the difference between good fruit and the forbidden kind.

Route Suggestions

  • Don’t give vague instructions to children; they need specifics.
  • Go check out the old capital building in Frankfort, Kentucky – but don’t jump on the staircase.
  • Never get to the point where you are too proud to listen to instructions or advice. For example, you may have been down this road before, but your tour guide has been down it more recently. There may have been some changes of which you are unaware, like a washed out bridge or recently released bears. Oh my!
  • Read Psalm 23. Was David walking alone? How could this Psalm relate to your life?

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Filed under Food, Humor, Life Lessons

At Least It’s Not 107 Degrees!

Cold

It’s cold in Chattanooga. How cold is it? I put ice cubes down my shirt just to warm up.

Seriously, this morning schools are delayed two hours because it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s just stupid cold for this part of the country.

My daddy used to say, “It’s as cold as a witch’s upper torso.” If you can figure out what that means, more power to ya’.

Heat

The funny thing is that no matter what the temperature, whether cold or hot, people are always going to wish it was the opposite. When it’s hot outside people complain. When it’s cold outside people complain. The only people I never hear complain are the ones who have the same climate year round, like the North Pole or Hawaii.

So, as you down here in the South complain about how cold it is, just remember the heat wave of 2012. That was when we would have welcomed a cold snap. I mean, 107 degrees and humid is hot no matter where you live!

“I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content — whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:11-13 HCSB

Maybe we should just take a cue from the Apostle Paul and learn to be content – no matter what temperature life may bring. 

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Filed under Christian Maturity, current events