Tag Archives: Relationships

Misinterpreting Affection

This morning, while sitting in the parking lot of where I work, I wrote on a piece of lumber I still had in our van. 


I sent the picture, via text, to my wife. 

Valerie then responded with the following hand-written text…


Unsure how to interpret that, I responded with…


Maybe it would have been better if my loving, yet nauseated wife could have sent two separate texts. 

At least I think I understood what she was saying… Anyone else have an opinion?? 

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Filed under Humor, Marriage, Relationships and Family

Responding to Temptation

Young Woman,

I don’t care how young you are, 20’s or whatever. I don’t care how pretty you are, at least what I can see. I don’t care how much fun and full of energy you are; I’m not. I don’t care how much you want to please me. I don’t even care how much you care about me, or how much you need me. 

You see, whatever you have to offer, no matter what it may be, is not worth my marriage. No amount of “love making” could compare to the love that’s been built over the last 23 years with my wife. 

I love my wife and I love my God who gave her to me. I love my daughters and the trust they place in me. Nothing you can offer is worth what I’d have to give up. 

Lastly, marriage is designed to be symbolic of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Because of this, and because of the gospel, I will remain faithful to my wife because Jesus is faithful to me. 

In other words, I’m not interested in what you have to offer. 

Respectfully,

Happily Forever-Married Man

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Filed under Christian Maturity, Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Marriage, Relationships and Family

A Lesson Learned

Living in a house full of women has taught me one thing, if nothing else. It’s almost impossible to get in the last        . 

– Anthony Baker

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Filed under Aliens, Humor, Marriage, Relationships and Family, Uncategorized, wisdom

Signs of Flirting?

The following is Part 1 of a 3-part series originally written in Sept. of 2013. I thought it would be a good time to repeat it.

Uncomfortable Topic

OK, so this is not a subject I normally discuss, but I feel I must say something.

I have seen several pieces in the news about how to know when a man is flirting, but the signs leave me a little puzzled. I mean, I am a man, so I should have some knowledge of when I am flirting, correct? But, evidently, I may be flirting when I don’t know it!

I don’t remember the sources for the following, but if you want to, just Google them (It is not my intention to plagiarize, but I am not getting graded on a paper, applying for a job, or getting paid for this post, so I’m not going to worry too much at this point). Here are…

Ten (supposed) ways to know a man is flirting with you:

  1. flirtingHe makes eye contact when he talks.
  2. He touches his face.
  3. He laughs at a girl’s jokes.
  4. He messes with his own hair.
  5. He tries to gain your attention.
  6. He leans in closer when you talk.
  7. He touches you on the shoulder.
  8. He always has a smile.
  9. He puts his hands on his waist.
  10. He throws rocks at you from across the playground.

Analysis of List

First, I always thought that I was supposed to make eye contact when talking with someone. Does this mean that every time I look someone in the eyes I am flirting? I guess I am going to have to revert back to my insecure, shifty-eye days.

Second, what if a guy feels bugs crawling on his face and in his hair? Should #2 and #4 on the list be avoided? I mean, if I get an itch, does that mean a woman is going to slap me?

Third, maybe guys are just being nice, you know? I try to smile at everybody’s jokes, don’t you? Sometimes a girl can be funny, even when she is ugly as a burnt tree.

Attention? What’s wrong with trying to get someone’s attention? Sure, there are different ways to do that, but come on! Just because I honk my horn at a lady walking down the street does not mean I want a date; there may be a tiger behind her, or a hole in front of her. The right thing to do is warn her.

Next (is this fifth?), the reason I lean in closer to a girl is because I am deaf from all the head-banging Southern Gospel music I have played.

Sixth, I may put my hands on my waist, but it might only mean I am disgusted with you. I would hardly call that flirting. But if I do put my hand on your shoulder, it might mean that I am secretly trying to see if the Vulcan grip really works.

Seventh, I always smile. Not really. That’s a lie.

Eighthly, ninethly, and tenthly, if I throw a rock at you on the playground, then I am absolutely flirting. Every boy knows that’s the way you let a girl know you like her. But since I am married, and since flirting with other women could cause my wife to do bad things to me in my sleep, I will keep my rocks to myself.

One Other Thing

There was one other sign that I did not include in the above list, but was in one article I read: “If a guy plays footsies with you in the sand, he might be flirting.”

If a guy starts rubbing his feet all over yours, that’s not a sign of flirting, people; that’s something way more. Ladies (and I am talking to women at this point), either get wedding invitations ready, or make use of a well-placed knee. You need no other signs.

Your welcome. 

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Filed under current events, General Observations, Humor, Life Lessons, wisdom

Can’t Trust Anyone?

Trusting Others

Who do you trust? Who would you trust with your bank account information? Who would you trust to watch your children? Even more so, who would you trust to shave your neck with a sharp straight razor?

Trust is something we give others based on experience and credibility. One doesn’t just tell his deepest, darkest secrets to a stranger. A wise mother doesn’t leave her 4 year-old at home alone for the evening. A husband doesn’t tell his wife’s best friend about the tool he secretly bought without his wife’s permission.

Who Do You Trust?

Personally, I trust my wife. So far, she hasn’t shared with the world all my faults and failures. However, she is human; if I make her angry enough, who knows?

My children are pretty trustworthy. I feel I can trust them with my reputation, my money, and my stuff. But on the other hand, there are times when chores and homework don’t get done as promised.

There are even a couple of friends that you could say I trust almost implicitly. But if the truth be known, even my best friends have let me down at different times. What can I say? I’ve done the same to them.

Most Trusted

Frankly, there is no one on earth I can trust 100%. Vulnerability is the price of intimacy.

But I can trust Jesus. He’s more than a friend; more than a confidant; more than a brother; more than counselor with a confidentiality agreement.

God is not a man who lies, or a son of man who changes His mind. Does He speak and not act, or promise and not fulfill? – Numbers 23:19 (HCSB)

He who calls you [is] faithful, who also will do [it]. – 1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NKJV)

Jesus is Faithful and True.

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Filed under community, Relationships and Family

Signs of Flirting?

Uncomfortable Topic

OK, so this is not a subject I normally discuss, but I feel I must say something.

I have seen several pieces in the news about how to know when a man is flirting, but the signs leave me a little puzzled. I mean, I am a man, so I should have some knowledge of when I am flirting, correct? But, evidently, I may be flirting when I don’t know it!

I don’t remember the sources for the following, but if you want to, just Google them (It is not my intention to plagiarize, but I am not getting graded on a paper, applying for a job, or getting paid for this post, so I’m not going to worry too much at this point). Here are…

Ten (supposed) ways to know a man is flirting with you:

  1. flirtingHe makes eye contact when he talks.
  2. He touches his face.
  3. He laughs at a girl’s jokes.
  4. He messes with his own hair.
  5. He tries to gain your attention.
  6. He leans in closer when you talk.
  7. He touches you on the shoulder.
  8. He always has a smile.
  9. He puts his hands on his waist.
  10. He throws rocks at you from across the playground.

Analysis of List

First, I always thought that I was supposed to make eye contact when talking with someone. Does this mean that every time I look someone in the eyes I am flirting? I guess I am going to have to revert back to my insecure, shifty-eye days.

Second, what if a guy feels bugs crawling on his face and in his hair? Should #2 and #4 on the list be avoided? I mean, if I get an itch, does that mean a woman is going to slap me?

Third, maybe guys are just being nice, you know? I try to smile at everybody’s jokes, don’t you? Sometimes a girl can be funny, even when she is ugly as a burnt tree.

Attention? What’s wrong with trying to get someone’s attention? Sure, there are different ways to do that, but come on! Just because I honk my horn at a lady walking down the street does not mean I want a date; there may be a tiger behind her, or a hole in front of her. The right thing to do is warn her.

Next (is this fifth?), the reason I lean in closer to a girl is because I am deaf from all the head-banging Southern Gospel music I have played.

Sixthly, I may put my hands on my waist, but it might only mean I am disgusted with you. I would hardly call that flirting. But if I do put my hand on your shoulder, it might mean that I am secretly trying to see if the Vulcan grip really works.

Seventh, I always smile. Not really. That’s a lie.

Eighthly, ninethly, and tenthly, if I throw a rock at you on the playground, then I am absolutely flirting. Every boy knows that’s the way you let a girl know you like her. But since I am married, and since flirting with other women could cause my wife to do bad things to me in my sleep, I will keep my rocks to myself.

One Other Thing

There was one other sign that I did not include in the above list, but was in one article I read: “If a guy plays footsies with you in the sand, he might be flirting.”

If a guy starts rubbing his feet all over yours, that’s not a sign of flirting, people; that’s something way more. Ladies (and I am talking to women at this point), either get wedding invitations ready, or make use of a well-placed knee. You need no other signs.

Your welcome. 

7 Comments

Filed under current events, General Observations, Humor, Life Lessons, wisdom

19th on the 18th

Our Anniversary!

Last year I wrote a post celebrating 18 years of marriage to the most beautiful woman in the world, my wife. Now that another year has come and gone, I thought it would be appropriate to celebrate again. I’m so glad Valerie and I are still together, which is a blessing and a miracle. I don’t deserve such a gift.

Valerie has asked me several times in the past, “If you could do it over again, would you still marry me?” To be honest, there were times when answering that question was difficult, especially back around 1999-2001. During those days I was going through the lowest time of my life, but she stood by me.

If Valerie was to ask me that question today, however, the answer would be a resounding “YES!”

It takes time!

So many people get divorced after a few years of marriage, never staying in it long enough to work through the hard times. In doing so, they miss out on the treasures that years of faithfulness bring. Because they give up too early, they uproot seeds before they have time to germinate, never being able to experience the fruit of a life-long relationship taking root.

The past year has brought with it many heartaches and sorrows. Valerie has had to endure much physical pain which has tested our faith and pushed us to the limits; the loss of income has been terribly stressful; and crisis after crisis has taken an emotional toll on us all. Yet, after 19 years we are more in love, more in faith, and more in God’s will than ever before. How is that possible? “It’s not by power, nor by might, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord.

I love you, Valerie. Happy anniversary!

As I said last year, it’s been a bumpy but wonderful ride. Thank you for staying in the car with me. I’m looking forward to the rest of the trip!

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Filed under Christian Living, Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Life Lessons, Relationships and Family, the future