Tag Archives: dating

My Daughter’s List

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not trying to get my daughter hitched. However, if you are a young man who can live up to Katie’s high standards, then let’s talk.

And believe me, we will talk first.

A few days ago my daughter Katie (age 20, not far from 21) sent me an email containing a list of what she wanted in a man. Unbelievably, even though she is now a senior at Bryan College, has a beautiful voice, is a fantastic photographer, and bubbles with a personality as lovely as her looks, she still has no marital prospects. Crazy, right?

What’s wrong with you guys??

Do you have, and can you do all the following?

  1. katie-before-the-banquet-at-bryanHas a heart that wants to serve God in every way and serves to refine my heart for Christ
  2. Patient
  3. Respectful to all people and animals
  4. Wants to honor my family
  5. Respects and honors my body
  6. Has a love for children
  7. Lives a healthy lifestyle and encourages me to do the same
  8. Will be respectful of my dietary requirements
  9. Has a strong work ethic with a reasonable plan for life
  10. Will willingly give quality massages (primarily on feet and neck) upon request and out of self will

If you are interested in becoming my son-in-law, you’ll figure out how to get in touch with me. Then, if I think you might possibly make her happy, I’ll forward the info. She has the final word, though.

Any takers?

Oh! I do have a badge (so I have connections), and I firmly believe in the 2nd Amendment. Just FYI.

Visiting Bryan to hear Katie sing her first solo with the choir and full orchestra. She sang Vivaldi.

Visiting Bryan to hear Katie sing her first solo with the choir and full orchestra. She sang Vivaldi.

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Filed under Life/Death, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships and Family

Signs of Flirting?

The following is Part 1 of a 3-part series originally written in Sept. of 2013. I thought it would be a good time to repeat it.

Uncomfortable Topic

OK, so this is not a subject I normally discuss, but I feel I must say something.

I have seen several pieces in the news about how to know when a man is flirting, but the signs leave me a little puzzled. I mean, I am a man, so I should have some knowledge of when I am flirting, correct? But, evidently, I may be flirting when I don’t know it!

I don’t remember the sources for the following, but if you want to, just Google them (It is not my intention to plagiarize, but I am not getting graded on a paper, applying for a job, or getting paid for this post, so I’m not going to worry too much at this point). Here are…

Ten (supposed) ways to know a man is flirting with you:

  1. flirtingHe makes eye contact when he talks.
  2. He touches his face.
  3. He laughs at a girl’s jokes.
  4. He messes with his own hair.
  5. He tries to gain your attention.
  6. He leans in closer when you talk.
  7. He touches you on the shoulder.
  8. He always has a smile.
  9. He puts his hands on his waist.
  10. He throws rocks at you from across the playground.

Analysis of List

First, I always thought that I was supposed to make eye contact when talking with someone. Does this mean that every time I look someone in the eyes I am flirting? I guess I am going to have to revert back to my insecure, shifty-eye days.

Second, what if a guy feels bugs crawling on his face and in his hair? Should #2 and #4 on the list be avoided? I mean, if I get an itch, does that mean a woman is going to slap me?

Third, maybe guys are just being nice, you know? I try to smile at everybody’s jokes, don’t you? Sometimes a girl can be funny, even when she is ugly as a burnt tree.

Attention? What’s wrong with trying to get someone’s attention? Sure, there are different ways to do that, but come on! Just because I honk my horn at a lady walking down the street does not mean I want a date; there may be a tiger behind her, or a hole in front of her. The right thing to do is warn her.

Next (is this fifth?), the reason I lean in closer to a girl is because I am deaf from all the head-banging Southern Gospel music I have played.

Sixth, I may put my hands on my waist, but it might only mean I am disgusted with you. I would hardly call that flirting. But if I do put my hand on your shoulder, it might mean that I am secretly trying to see if the Vulcan grip really works.

Seventh, I always smile. Not really. That’s a lie.

Eighthly, ninethly, and tenthly, if I throw a rock at you on the playground, then I am absolutely flirting. Every boy knows that’s the way you let a girl know you like her. But since I am married, and since flirting with other women could cause my wife to do bad things to me in my sleep, I will keep my rocks to myself.

One Other Thing

There was one other sign that I did not include in the above list, but was in one article I read: “If a guy plays footsies with you in the sand, he might be flirting.”

If a guy starts rubbing his feet all over yours, that’s not a sign of flirting, people; that’s something way more. Ladies (and I am talking to women at this point), either get wedding invitations ready, or make use of a well-placed knee. You need no other signs.

Your welcome. 

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Filed under current events, General Observations, Humor, Life Lessons, wisdom

Thursday Thoughts (Daughters and Gender Identity)

It is February 13, the day after the big snow, and I’m ready to share some thoughts. I have a headache after eating Italian food (pasta fagioli) and discussing boyfriends and boundaries with one of my daughters, so I won’t make this too deep. Too much thinking could cause an aneurysm. 

  • Birthdays and age. Yesterday was my wife’s birthday, but I can’t tell you how old she is, either. Why is that? Why can’t women reveal their age? There are women who look really old, yet they’re only in their 20’s or 30’s. On the other hand, there are those like Christie Brinkley. Have you seen her? She’s 60 and still looks like she did in the Vacation movie, which is better than we can say for Chevy Chase! But my wife looks better than Brinkley in a red Ferrari, so what’s wrong with telling her age?

  • Teenage daughters. I have ’em. I deserve an award. 

  • Defenders. Real men defend their daughters. Real dads don’t care about what the world says regarding dating and relationships – they consider all boys to be predators. You see, my daughters have boundaries, boundaries they have chosen to put in place. If I see any of those boundaries being challenged, I am likely to react in a way most disagreeable. I will defend those boundaries, even if my daughters momentarily forget where they were drawn.

  • Respect. I have the utmost respect for a young man who respects my daughter – and her boundaries. Smart boy.

  • Bluffing. We all have read those cute little lists like, “Rules for Dating My Daughter.” The only problem is that most girls (and their boyfriends) think their dads are bluffing. The somewhat over-the-top threats and ridiculous rules in these lists tend to contribute the sense of disbelief. However, some dads don’t bluff when it comes to their daughters. The only way to find out which ones are bluffing, and which ones are not, is to cross that line. 

  • Gender identity options. In a recent move to accommodate all the sexual perversion in the world, Facebook created a whole new list of options for those who struggle with deciding what boxes to check. Gone are the simple “male” and “female” options to list on one’s wall. Now you have options ranging from “transgender” to “fluid.” Facebook said, “We want you to feel comfortable being your true, authentic self.” 

  • Your true, authentic self. How do you figure out what your “true, authentic self” is? I have a suggestion or two, maybe three. First, check to see what parts of the human anatomy you do or do not have. Second, what part of the baby-making process are you most likely to be responsible for. Third, have you watched Pride and Prejudice more than once? If you check the box marked “fluid,” you’re simply an authentic pervert.

Have a great weekend, my friends, and don’t forget to go to church! Not only might you find yourself getting blessed, but you could be a blessing to others, as well.

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Filed under Culture Wars, current events, General Observations, Parenting, Relationships and Family

Underwear Is the Answer?

WARNING! I am going to be talking about underwear (and other things). Some may find the following subject material inappropriate, so proceed at your own risk.

The other day one of my daughters sent me a video advertisement from a company called AR Wear. What were they trying to sell? Anti-rape underwear.

Anti-rape underwear…

(If you want to see the video, you can go look it up on YouTube.)

OK, so….

For the record, I believe rape is a horrible crime. Furthermore, I think predatory rapists should suffer punishments akin to those dished out in the Old Testament. Therefore, please don’t misunderstand me…if you want to wear anti-rape underwear, go for it!

However, what disturbs me is that there is evidently a market for anti-rape underwear, a market partially characterized by a lack of wisdom and common sense.

Below is the text from the first couple of minutes of the AR Wear video advertisement…

“Have you ever been out walking at night, alone, wishing you could feel safer? And you, parents and friends, how often have you worried about a loved one? We want to provide a product that will make women and girls feel safer when out on a first date, or a night of clubbing, taking an evening run, traveling in another country, or in other potentially risky situations.

The challenge was to find a way for the garment to be worn comfortably during normal activities, yet still be able to frustrate an attack…even if the person wearing it had too much to drink, was drugged, or asleep.

Seriously? I mean, really? Am I overreacting to the obvious?

Again, anything that will prevent a woman from being violated is a good thing, so I totally applaud the product AR Wear is trying to sell. But, just look at the people to whom they are trying to market. Are there not other options that could be utilized before resulting to rape-resistant undergarments?

Humor this old man for just a moment and think about the following words…

  • Have you ever been out walking at night, alone, wishing you could feel safer?” Ladies, here is a suggestion: don’t go out walking alone at night! And if you must, why not invest in some mace or pepper spray, a German Shepherd, or even a .45 cal. semi-automatic! Believe me, if you are packing heat while walking Cujo, it will probably be the rapist who’ll need to be changing his underwear.
  • [Safer] when out on a first date. Let’s think about this one for a moment, OK? Shouldn’t you do your homework on a guy before going out with him? [For additional thoughts on this, see the comments]
  • A “night of clubbing,” or “other potentially risky situations. Again, seriously? Is anti-rape underwear really that necessary? How about let’s just avoid the nights of “clubbing” and passing out on the dance floor or in the back seat of a stranger’s car?! Good grief!
  • Normal activities that include:even if the person wearing [the underwear] had too much to drink, was drugged, or asleep.” I’m sorry, but if your normal activities include having too much to drink, getting drugged, and passing out, then you have problems that a pair of armored panties will never fix.

I don’t want to sound harsh, my friends, but it would seem that much of the need for the above product could be eliminated by smarter, wiser, more godly life choices.

Sure, there are times when bad things happen no matter what we do, but what should one expect from a lifestyle that includes regular excessive drinking, drug use, and “risky situations?”

The fact that anti-rape underwear is needed at all is sad enough. But when we add in the fact that much of the demand stems from unwise behavior, the whole idea seems tragically fatalistic.

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Filed under abuse, America, Christian Living, Culture Wars, current events, General Observations, wisdom

The Non-Boyfriend Boy Friend

Girls

Here I am, 46 years into my trip toward room temperature, and I am still having to deal with girls’ emotions. I have been coming to terms with not understanding women, or at least knowing when to stay away when they feel like expressing their intelligence. And nearly 20 years of marriage has conditioned me for another 20 years of “whatever’s” and “yes dears.” So why now, after I have paid my dues, must I once again deal with teenage girls?

My dating years were not the best of years. My self esteem was irreparably scarred by the time one of my first dates asked me to drop her off early…in a parking lot…alone. Girls were like a fire to which I was drawn, and I was the helpless bug continually getting squashed. Therefore, since I am convinced teenage girls are hosts to alien invaders, why must I be forced to give aid and comfort to the enemy of mankind?

If I had to guess, part of the curse of the Fall was having to raise teenage girls. You can’t live with them, and you can’t ______ (you fill in the blank – I’m not going to incriminate myself) their boyfriends.

Boyfriends

I was once a boyfriend, and I hated myself for it. That is why I think it is my responsibility to guide other young men away from my daughters. Being a boyfriend is the last thing they should want to be. Staying away is best thing they can do.

However, what I find troubling is the attempt my daughter is making to fool me. She insists that her friend, a boy, is not a boyfriend. Yet, whenever a letter comes in the mail (in between the 42,584 texts), she grins and squeals as she reads it over and over. She invites him over to bake for him on his birthday and have pictures made together with their cheeks touching each other’s goofy faces. Believe, where there is chocolate, followed by physical contact of any kind, I am not fooled.

Between the Lines

So, tonight I made a comment that got Katie asking me all kinds of questions. In casual conversation, my so-far-alien-free daughter, Haley, asked, “When Katie and ____ (insert name or expletive, doesn’t matter) get married…” Excuse me?

That’s when I interrupted with, “She is not gonna marry _____.”

My single, unmarried, unspoken-for, and alien-inhabited daughter, Katie.

My single, unmarried, unspoken-for, and alien-inhabited daughter, Katie.

Later, when I was sitting at the computer, Katie came to kiss me goodnight and asked, “Why did you say I couldn’t marry ______ (insert name of endangered species)?”

Correct me if I am wrong, but was I not told that the non-boyfriend was just a friend? Then why would my statement about who she’s not going to marry be an issue? If my dad had told me I wasn’t going to marry my friend Kevin, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings one bit. So what’s the deal with endangered boy and daydreamer?

If she marries he-who-walks-on-thin-ice, then I’ll be forced to like him. Until then, what’s wrong with simply protecting a non-boyfriend from a danger he can’t understand? Who knows? If I spare him from being abducted by an alien, I might be the best friend the non-boyfriend boy friend could ever have.

He will thank me, later.

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Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Future, Life Lessons, Parenting, Relationships and Family, wisdom

Signs of Flirting?

Uncomfortable Topic

OK, so this is not a subject I normally discuss, but I feel I must say something.

I have seen several pieces in the news about how to know when a man is flirting, but the signs leave me a little puzzled. I mean, I am a man, so I should have some knowledge of when I am flirting, correct? But, evidently, I may be flirting when I don’t know it!

I don’t remember the sources for the following, but if you want to, just Google them (It is not my intention to plagiarize, but I am not getting graded on a paper, applying for a job, or getting paid for this post, so I’m not going to worry too much at this point). Here are…

Ten (supposed) ways to know a man is flirting with you:

  1. flirtingHe makes eye contact when he talks.
  2. He touches his face.
  3. He laughs at a girl’s jokes.
  4. He messes with his own hair.
  5. He tries to gain your attention.
  6. He leans in closer when you talk.
  7. He touches you on the shoulder.
  8. He always has a smile.
  9. He puts his hands on his waist.
  10. He throws rocks at you from across the playground.

Analysis of List

First, I always thought that I was supposed to make eye contact when talking with someone. Does this mean that every time I look someone in the eyes I am flirting? I guess I am going to have to revert back to my insecure, shifty-eye days.

Second, what if a guy feels bugs crawling on his face and in his hair? Should #2 and #4 on the list be avoided? I mean, if I get an itch, does that mean a woman is going to slap me?

Third, maybe guys are just being nice, you know? I try to smile at everybody’s jokes, don’t you? Sometimes a girl can be funny, even when she is ugly as a burnt tree.

Attention? What’s wrong with trying to get someone’s attention? Sure, there are different ways to do that, but come on! Just because I honk my horn at a lady walking down the street does not mean I want a date; there may be a tiger behind her, or a hole in front of her. The right thing to do is warn her.

Next (is this fifth?), the reason I lean in closer to a girl is because I am deaf from all the head-banging Southern Gospel music I have played.

Sixthly, I may put my hands on my waist, but it might only mean I am disgusted with you. I would hardly call that flirting. But if I do put my hand on your shoulder, it might mean that I am secretly trying to see if the Vulcan grip really works.

Seventh, I always smile. Not really. That’s a lie.

Eighthly, ninethly, and tenthly, if I throw a rock at you on the playground, then I am absolutely flirting. Every boy knows that’s the way you let a girl know you like her. But since I am married, and since flirting with other women could cause my wife to do bad things to me in my sleep, I will keep my rocks to myself.

One Other Thing

There was one other sign that I did not include in the above list, but was in one article I read: “If a guy plays footsies with you in the sand, he might be flirting.”

If a guy starts rubbing his feet all over yours, that’s not a sign of flirting, people; that’s something way more. Ladies (and I am talking to women at this point), either get wedding invitations ready, or make use of a well-placed knee. You need no other signs.

Your welcome. 

7 Comments

Filed under current events, General Observations, Humor, Life Lessons, wisdom