There’s not much I can say that I haven’t said before about how much I love and how much I am proud of all my daughters.
Katie, Valerie, Alicia, and Haley
However, today is a particular milestone that I want to share.
25 years ago today was the first time I witnessed live birth. Oh, of course I’ve seen puppies being born, but seeing my daughter, Katie Marie Baker, come out of my wife, well, and I’m using a lot of commas, that was traumatic!
It was nothing like the movies. It was nothing like the Cosby show. It was nothing like anything I had ever experienced!
And it was like nothing I had ever experienced before.
Like Bill Gaither might say, “How sweet to hold a newborn baby and feel the pride and joy she gives!” Nothing can truly prepare a man for the feeling of holding his first baby girl in his arms.
Last Tuesday I told you that my daughter Katie was getting married that night. Well, despite my advice to walk away while there was still time, my Katie Bug, Katie Marie Baker, became Katie Marie Pearson.
The father and the bride
Don’t get me wrong, as I stood there alone with her behind the paper-thin walls of the tent, waiting for the moment I was to escort her out into the open for the world to see, I wasn’t expecting Katie to walk away. No, her heart and mind were made up, unchangeable, set “like a flint” to walk that aisle and say, “I do.”
And man! Did she ever!
The Vows
I have a few pictures, but I don’t want to share them with the world. What I would rather do is wait until Katie is able to share the professional photos that were taken of the wedding and reception. The only exceptions will be those you see here.
However, I do want to share with you a couple of other things, namely Gus (that’s my new son-in-law’s name) and Katie’s vows . . . and a video which we’ll get to in a moment.
In my years of pastoral ministry, I’ve performed over 200 weddings. That being said, I have never heard wedding vows more biblical and gospel-centered than the ones Gus and Katie shared. I was blown away! There was hardly any need to say anything else but “Kiss your bride.”
Therefore, if you don’t mind, I would like to share with you my daughter and son-in-law’s vows.
Gus’ Vows:
Katie Marie, from just our first few weeks working at Chick-fil-A, I knew our friendship would be a great one. Whenever I was near you, I felt a spirit of joy radiating from you, and there was no doubt where that joy comes from. God has gifted you with a joyous and bubbly personality, and it is one that I wanted to be around often. Today, I stand in front of our family and friends who have chosen to be witnesses to observe the covenant relationship I am making with you and God in marriage. I promise to spend every day I have on this earth with you dedicated and honoring this covenant we have made to each other before God. I promise to protect you and to provide for you and to trust God to do so when I cannot. I promise to love you, Katie Marie, my bride, as Christ loves us, the church, his bride. I will love you selflessly and sacrificially, and as I grow closer to Christ, my love for you will grow stronger. As the head of our household I promise to honor you as my equal in our new life together, and treat you with understanding as we begin this new journey. When hard times come, I promise to strive to exude wisdom and to point us, in our struggles, to the one that holds everything in his hands. Whether a disagreement, a concern, a crisis, that health, or anything that breaks us down, I will take it to God in prayer and seek his guidance. I promise all of these things with the hope for a future that leads us both toward Christ. It is my goal in this marriage to lead you with wisdom in the path God sets before us, and as Christ showed us by example, the best leaders are those who know how to serve. As we take the next step in our journey, I think it would be appropriate to make a reference to where it all began, and say, “Katie Marie, it will forever be my pleasure to serve you.”
Katie’s Vows:
Gus, From the moment I first met you, I knew there was something in you that I wanted. You were so loving and kind and warm and welcoming to anyone, and I wanted that to be in my life every day. Today, I am standing next to you in front of all of these people so that I can enter into a covenant relationship with you and with God in marriage. I promise to uphold this covenant for all of the days and nights that I live on this earth with you. I promise to be your helper and give you my time, my energy, and my focus, even if it is limited. I promise to let you be the head of the household and submit to the authority that God has placed within you to be the priest of our home. In the moments of hurt and shattered expectations, I promise to strive in showing God’s wisdom in my actions and reactions with Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And, in the times when I strive too little, I promise to seek forgiveness. I promise all of these things with a hope for a future that leads us both toward Christ. It is my goal in this marriage to be the second violin to your first, and to trust your lead wherever you feel the need to take me.
What more would make me happy? That both of them had great incomes, perfect health, huge houses in which my wife and I could take up a room when we get old?
Honestly, if they keep their vows – and I’m pretty sure they will – I wouldn’t ask for anything more than that.
The father of the bride with Haley, the youngest daughter of the father of the bride 🙂
The oldest daughter of the father of the bride (Alicia), along with the bride and the granddaughter of the grandfather who’s the father of the bride (Emma).
“As a married man grows old, particularly one with several daughters, he doesn’t lose his mind; he just acquires the feminine ability to randomly change it.” – A. Baker
She’s no longer the baby I could hold in my arms. If I hold her these days, it’s a quick hug, a slight embrace. Gone are the days when she would put her head on my chest and fall to sleep, completely trusting in me to protect and provide.
But now I pray she’d seek your embrace, your protection, provision, and peace in Your rest.
An evil lurks around each corner, in the valley where death hides in the shadows. No longer there, I can’t be her guide. If You are not her Shepherd, the shadows will prevail.
Watch over her as only You can do. Guide her, with pain, if necessary, to the prize at the end of her race. I’ll be in the stands cheering.
I haven’t been writing much, lately. It’s been pretty busy around here.
One thing that just happened was the graduation from college by my daughter Katie.
Katie’s first day at Bryan college was back in September of 2014 when we dropped her off at the dorms. I still remember getting back home, walking down the hall and looking into her freshly-painted, peach-colored, sparkly room, knowing those days were over. I cried a river as I leaned against her door frame.
The first picture was taken on that first day at Bryan. Here is myself, Haley (our youngest), and Katie, all sporting our brand new t-shirts to celebrate and remember the day.
Can you believe these are the same two girls?
Here is Katie with Dr. Stephen Livesay, the President of Bryan College.
Now, here’s the proud dad and mom with the graduate 🙂
So, Katie got a Bachelor of Science degree in Music Education and Vocal. She could always sing, and she can write some beautiful music. Let’s view some performance history on YouTube 🙂 See if you can tell how much she’s matured by the last one.
Here is a video of Katie back in November of 2011 (8 years ago). This was the first video of her singing I ever posted on YouTube.
Here is a video of Katie from December of 2012 singing an original, one of the first songs she ever wrote.
Here she is from before her college days in a high school talent show playing guitar (they won 1st place).
Now, the video is not the best quality, but here is Katie and I playing for her high school graduation banquet. Again, this is a song she wrote…and she’s playing the uke better than I played the bass.
This is her senior (college) recital in January of this year. I get to play with her at the very end – because I played for her when she first auditioned for a music scholarship…which she received 🙂
Which brings us to the last video – the one made tonight at a church in Soddy-Daisy, TN. Now that Katie is on her own, a college graduate, and living back in Chattanooga with her sister, Haley, I don’t get to perform with her anymore, nor hear her sing in church. So, it sure was a blessing to see this video of Katie doing a wonderful performance of “Breath of Heaven.
This is what loving the Lord, 6 years of college, a lot of prayer, and tons of perseverance will get you. I’m a blessed dad to have such beautiful and talented daughters.
The following post was first published in March of 2015, but the truth is still totally relevant…please read…especially if you’re a father of little girls.
As I watched, my heart broke, my eyes flooded with tears, and I nearly had to leave the theater – that’s how I felt when I watched a particular scene in the movie Do You Believe?.
Credit: Still from “Do You Believe?” Movie
Alex PenaVega (of Spy Kids fame) played the role of a young woman named Lacey. Early in the movie she is shown sitting on a couch, on her cell phone, begging her father to either come to visit her, or let her spend some time with him (as I type this my eyes are beginning to water).
Totally desperate for his attention and affection, through barely contained sobbing, she cries out to her daddy, “pleeeease!”
Now I’m crying. Seriously. Read on and you’ll understand why.
Not long ago, Katie (my middle daughter) called me up in the middle of the night…then called again…and again… She was at college and really, really ill.
Long story short, she wanted me to come get her…in the early hours of dark morning…before I had to get up and drive a school bus! It was an hour there, an hour back, not to mention loading her stuff, and I needed to be on a bus at 6:20 a.m.! But what was I supposed to do? She was my daughter, and through tears she asked, “Pleeease, daddy, I want to come home!”
I made record time to Bryan College.
Yesterday was a long day, from getting up early after going to bed late, to church last night. Then, at around 9:30 p.m. my little girl, Haley, asked, “Daddy, would you watch a movie with me?”
I looked down at my watch…my eyes were already heavy…I thought to myself, “It’s not going to be long before she’s grown and gone like the others.”…What’s another long day, right?
“Sure,” I replied. “What do you want to watch?”
The reason the scene in the movie got to me was that there are so many little girls out there…girls of all ages…each one willing to give anything for a little time with Daddy. And where are the dads? What is more important to them than a little girl on the other end of the line, soaking her cell phone with tears, crying “Pleeese, Daddy! Pleeeease!“?
More tears.
I like the way the New Living Translation renders Jesus’ words regarding fathers and their children…
“You fathers–if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.” – Luke 11:11-13
My heart broke as I watched Alex PenaVega’s character weep for her daddy. It broke because the scene she was acting out was all too real – there’s a lot of hurting people out there who may never find comfort in a father’s arms.
Oh, would to God that men would be men and be the heroes their little girls need! Heaven only knows how many precious lives would be spared abuse, broken marriages, and life-long addictions if only daddies would be daddies!
How wonderful it is to know that we as believers have a Father in heaven, our Abba Father, who loves us more than any earthly father ever could! But does that excuse us dads from being our little girls’ knights in shining armor? Absolutely not!
A daddy’s role is to strive to be like our heavenly Father: one who is compassionate; one who listens; one who is patient; one who is strong as an oak tree, uncompromising, yet still available for make-believe tea or midnight retrievals from the dormitory.
Men…dads…be there for your daughter; God’s collecting her tears.
The impetus for this post came from an insurance commercial and a walk down the “princess aisle” at Hobby Lobby.
My Little Princess
Believe me, I get it. I have three daughters, so I am keenly aware of the need to make them feel special.
As a matter of fact, I have been known to go out of my way – actually, it really wasn’t – to make it known my girls are royalty. I have purchased the pink crowns, gone to the banquets, done the “daddy dances,” and participated in the high teas and fingernail polishing.
Shopping at Hobby Lobby
Every Dad should treat his daughter like a princess.
But What About Boys?
I shouldn’t have to elaborate very much because most of you probably already know how maligned the average male is in society, especially if he resembles anything masculine. However, society has yet to recognize the extent of the damage inflicted upon it by a radically-feministic and anti-gender agenda.
An anti-masculine paranoia has left men confused, scared, and spineless. Heck, even car insurance commercials (Liberty Mutual) tout the praise of coverage that can take care of teen boys who don’t know how to change a flat tire!
Proverbs 31 – It’s Not Only About Women
Now, whenever you think of Proverbs 31, what do you think about? The perfect woman? The high bar that is set for any woman who wants to be a model wife? Do you get stressed out with all of the expectations a male society is placing upon you?
Have you ever stopped to consider that Proverbs 31 starts out with a mother warning her son about other women? Have you ever noticed that the first few verses of Proverbs 31 contain words of affirmation…to a MAN?
Speaking of the tempting women and “strong drink,” this wise and caring mother warns,
“It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings…” (Prov. 31:4).
What we need these days are more women like King Lemuel’s mother. We need women who will teach their sons about morality, ethics, duty, honor, responsibility, leadership, and genuine love…because they are kings.
We need parents who will pull the plug on the raw sewage put out by the likes of Yo Gotti and Nicki Minaj (I’m attaching a link to prove my point – viewer beware), and say, “It’s not for kings, my son, it is not for kings.”
The enemy doesn’t want to encourage biblical womanhood any more than he wants to encourage biblical masculinity.
So, empower your little princess; she’s truly precious.
But don’t forget about your prince; we need realmen, too.
On Friday my middle daughter, Katie, underwent surgery to have her gallbladder removed. We appreciated all your prayers and well-wishes.
This morning (Saturday), as I sit here typing, Katie is across the room utilizing the recliner that was supposed to bring me joy and comfort after my rotator cuff surgery – it didn’t. I’m glad it’s helping her.
Hopefully and prayerfully…and please continue to pray for her…Katie will be up and going much better by tomorrow. However, I have my concerns.
Things I Learned
Katie is as unique as they come; there’s no one like her. She is uber sweet, persistently positive, the sunshine in a dark room, and the one person for whom saying “It’s my pleasure” when serving customers at Chick-fil-A is not good enough…she says, “It’s my sincerest pleasure!”
But Katie is also the least pain-tolerant person I know, and she hates needles with a passing-out passion. Therefore, anyone who gives her pain, or allows pain to persist, is likely to be served something other than chicken.
So, in bullet-pointed fashion, here are some things I learned on the way to the hospital, before Katie’s surgery, during Katie’s surgery, and after Katie’s surgery, including the first day of recovery.
On the way to the hospital…
Maintaining a positive attitude is a good thing.
Maintaining unrealistic expectations is a bad thing.
Doctors and hospitals are always running behind, so it’s no use stressing; you’re gonna be late to check in – laugh about it.
Make sure you bring a gender-appropriate bag in which you will be responsible for lugging around 25 pounds of clothing, books, snacks, and phone chargers while moving from room to room. A grown, masculine man can grow weary of “nice purse” comments when the virtual suitcase in which the items are packed is pink.
At the hospital…
If you’re going to make use of the free valet parking, make sure all your important items are secure or on your person before giving your keys to a guy with questionable hygiene.
It is possible for a nurse to think you’re a different patient, take you to the wrong room, prep you for a different surgery, all before asking if your name is the same as on the chart she’s looking at. Instead of having her gallbladder removed, Katie almost got a colonoscopy!
Pre-Surgery
Pray a lot, then just trust God to handle everything.
Remember that sweet smile; it may be a while before it comes back.
Don’t say “goodbye” as they wheel you away to be cut on.
Boyfriends have a tendency to hog the visitation time.
During Surgery – the Waiting Time
Bring your own food to nibble on, or else take out a loan to eat.
One must take the initiative to make new pots of coffee in the waiting room – the staff doesn’t care to drink tar.
Taking a book to read is a great thing, but be prepared for distractions… like worthless morning shows blaring on the waiting-room television, or visitors who don’t understand that one of the reasons you went along with the whole surgery thing is that you knew it would give you a couple of hours to get some guilt-free reading done.
Hosptial Wi-Fi is crappy.
Post-Surgery Recovery
Those intolerant to pain are nearly impossible to comfort.
Uber-sweet, godly little girls who are intolerant to pain may surprise those in the room with their intimate knowledge of vulgarity.
Dad visitation privilages trump boyfriend visitation privileges.
First Day of Recovery
Calories don’t matter when making breakfast – at least for the ones NOT recovering.
Whiny, pain-intolerant people can get on your nerves, but you have to love them anyway – just keep giving them pain pills.
All it takes is one abdominal surgery to make an opinionated young woman reevaluate her beliefs on birth control and her desire to have children.
My first grandchild from Katie will probably be Chinese or Korean.
Again, thanks for your prayers and well-wishes. If nothing else, I learned a few things.
Sometimes I’m called “dad,” while other times it’s “daddy.”
And, I don’t like it when my daughters cry.
If you want to find out how spiritual I truly am at any given moment, just make my little girls cry. On the one hand you may discover that I have complete control of my tongue; that I’m able to “be angry and sin not”(Eph. 4:26); or that I’ve mastered the discipline of taking all things to God in prayer before I act.
On the other hand, I may disappoint you.
Sanctification is a process.
I’m not always nice.
I’m not always quick to forgive.
Sometimes I forget to Whom vengeance belongs (Rom. 12:19).
Sometimes I fail to take all thoughts captive (2 Cor. 10:5), leaving a few violent ones to bounce around in my head.
I want to “walk worthy” of my calling (Eph. 4:1; Col. 1:10; 1 Th. 2:12), but sometimes I trip.
I am a Christian.
The Recovering Legalist 