Tag Archives: masculinity

Displaying Masculinity With Photos

Since it is a topic of hot debate these days, I figured I would keep the boat floating in the stream a little while longer and write a little more about the subject of masculinity.

Except today I’m going to do it from a laptop in the passenger seat behind my wife while she’s driving – it’s a long trip.

And I’m going to do with with pictures – like the one I just took of my computer before I typed this sentence 🙂

By the way, as of this moment, after nearly 10 years of blogging, I’m only at 49% of my memory limit with WordPress, so I’m not worried about the amount of photos in this post.

Anyway, I was thinking about masculinity and how it’s displayed, and that’s when I decided to search back through my phone’s photos. I thought it would be interesting to post some pictures from my life and share what I though was “masculine” or “manly” about them.

Some of these photos might fit a stereotype you don’t like. Some may make you scratch your head. But if I was to tell a young boy what it means to be a man, and if I could show him through some of my own pictures, this is what I would say.

And please understand, I’m not trying to make this all about me… I’m just making observations.

A real man is one who makes a commitment to one woman for life and remains faithful, treasures her, and makes her laugh.

Real men don’t shame their mothers; they make them proud. This is me with my mother and late grandmother who died last year. It’s called honor.

A real man is humble enough to wear a tie he doesn’t like because his wife and daughters do.

Fun. A real man has fun with his kids. He makes memories for their sake, not just his. This was during the last total solar eclipse. Awesome!

 

I love my girls. I’m proud of my girls. Both this picture and the next one are of me with my girls when I escorted them to a purity ball in Hopkinsville, KY. I know what some people think about promoting purity (abstinence), but I really don’t care – I’m a dad.

Masculine men let their daughters know they are loved, no matter what. Even if they disappoint me, I will still love them. But a real man – a masculine man – will be his daughters’ hero, protector, and defender of their honor. And no joke, their lives are more precious to me than any boy who’d hurt them. Be warned, guys – and that’s not hyperbole.

On the day that this picture was taken, we dropped Katie (the one on the right) off at college. When I got back home and walked by her empty bedroom, I cried like a baby for 30 minutes. Real men can cry when there’s a reason to cry, and that was one of them.

Nearly 6 years ago I finally earned my Master’s degree. This is my wife, all three daughters, me, and Mr. Monkey (he was an honorary graduate). I’ve still got a lot of room to improve, but a real man is one who finishes what he starts; he makes a commitment and follows through. I started college in 1986…I finally got my B.A. in 2011, my M.Min. in 2013. I’m still working on my D.Min., but I’ll get there.

This is a Ford flat head V-8. I think the essence of manhood is being able to work on something, to fix things. In my opinion, every man ought to rebuild an old engine at least one time in his life.

And speaking of working on cars, every man should teach his kids how to take care of things on their own. He should teach them how to be responsible and not always have to depend on others to fix their problems. Here I am teaching Haley how to change out a windshield wiper motor on her Acura.

You can be a real man and remain calm, cool, and collected when teaching your children how to drive. A masculine man doesn’t have to lose his cool.

There are cowards and criminals who use guns. But here in America, a masculine man isn’t afraid to teach his daughters how to shoot, even a Colt .357 Magnum revolver. My girls prefer a man who likes the smell of gunpowder and has wrists at least as strong as theirs 😉 2nd Amendment all the way in this house.

 

Real men, masculine men, admit their fears, but then they do what needs to be done – like getting on a roof to tar leaking shingles.

 

I think a good sign of masculinity is being able to handle big machinery. An added sign of masculinity is being able to teach others how to handle big machinery without getting killed or killing others. This is me at the bus garage one summer while training new drivers.

Not the best picture, but this is me in uniform as a chaplain for the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office. My definition of a real man, a real leader, a masculine man, includes being a servant. This is a voluntary role, but a needed one. Those who put their lives on the line for us need people to have their backs, too.

Masculinity is not devoid of humility and meekness. This was during a VBS when I agreed to let kids who won a contest treat me like an ice cream sundae. The cherry on the top was a literal cherry on the top.

Masculine men don’t avoid going to the doctor when they need to, but they don’t act like babies, either. Real men – masculine men – keep a “stiff upper lip” and do their best to keep others encouraged, even when they might be scared themselves.

This is me in Zimbabwe with Mr. Monkey. Real men, masculine men, aren’t too proud to get down in the dirt to put a smile on a child’s face.

Real men, masculine men, treat all of God’s creatures with respect and care. This is Nugget and me (Nugget went missing a couple of years ago and I still miss him). He always looked forward to going out on Saturdays for coffee and a treat from Hardee’s or McDonald’s.

Real men should at least try to grow a beard at least once. It’s a right that none should deny, even to non-Calvinists. But being masculine doesn’t mean you should let small woodland creatures take up residence on your face.

It takes a real man to get into a cold lake to baptize somebody. Of course, it takes a real man to be willing to be dunked in the cold water, too! But on a different note, in many places getting baptized in public can cost you everything. Therefore, this wasn’t as big a deal for me and this brother as it is for others. Good to keep things in perspective.

Katie and I recorded a video on Facebook Live. We played “Leaning On the Everlasting Arms.” I don’t know what’s exactly masculine or manly about this, but standing in a public park playing hymns takes nerve these days.

This was from Jan. 16 of this year…from when I took the stage with Katie for her final song of her senior recital. All I can say is that I must have done something right to have been asked by my daughter to step on stage during a formal recital at a university and play guitar for her. A real man doesn’t make his kids ashamed of him but earns their respect.

Masculinity demands that a man take charge and kill the bugs. The women folk shouldn’t have to. That includes carpenter bees trying to destroy the house. The face of a warrior.

Masculine men aren’t afraid to have friends, especially the kind who keep him accountable – iron sharpens iron. This is me with two of my blogger brothers, James Neff and Wally Fry. Real men. True friends.

Real masculinity will exhibit some form of competitiveness. It’s just in a man’s nature to be the warrior, the fighter, the competitor. We need fewer men who hand out participation trophies and more men who compete to win – or at least root for a team that wants to. Go Braves!

This is from when Building 429 stopped by a local Cracker Barrel and I legalistically misjudged them (I wrote a post about it). This is Katie posing with them after I admitted my sinful error and asked for their forgiveness. Real men, masculine men, aren’t afraid to admit when they’ve done wrong.

This photo was taken of me when I prayed on the steps of Emmanuel A.M.E. Church in Charleston, SC, after the deadly shooting. Real men shouldn’t be afraid to pray in public, especially in places where reconciliation is desperately needed.

 

Lastly, here I am in front of the church where I am Pastor. Genuine masculinity demands that a man be bold, courageous, and unafraid to speak the truth, even when the truth is hard to hear. Jesus was our greatest example of manhood, but there was also Paul, John the Baptist, and a host of others. Their brand of masculinity is what I’m striving for.

I’m just glad I had a dad that taught me what it meant to be a man. He was a consistent, loving, meek, humble, trustworthy, honorable, hard-working, self-sacrificing, faithful husband and man of God.

That’s about all I’ve got to say. Hope you’ve enjoyed the pictures.

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Culture Wars, current events, Family, General Observations, Life Lessons, Marriage, Parenting, politics, Preaching, Relationships and Family, Witnessing

The Best a Man Can Get

Gillette

By now you’ve probably watched the video that Gillette put out, the one some have praised, while others (most men) have condemned for being anti-masculine.

To be honest – and I’m a very conservative kind of guy – I can see both the pros and the cons. However, I’m more than a little tired of  the way it’s taking women to define what a man should be, at least in the world’s eyes.

Evidently, man can monitor themselves; it takes a strong woman.

In case you’ve not seen it, here’s a link (I’ll just attach the response from Ben Shapiro in National Review which contains the the commercial in the story).

Joshua and Jesus

There has been a lot of response to the Gillette commercial – most of it, at least from men, is negative.

But what bothers me about the commercial is the whole premise that masculinity is toxic. The APA (American Psychological Association) even recently released their opinion that “traditional masculinity” is harmful to boys.

Well, when it comes to masculinity, I prefer to get my guidelines from the Bible, and a few particular verses immediately come to mind.

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. – Joshua 24:15 

Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men [be brave, courageous], be strong. Let all your things be done with charity [love]. – 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of [our] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising [disregarding] the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. – Hebrews 12:2 KJV

“etc., etc., etc….”

Long before the #metoo movement there were men, real men, who treated women with respect (as God designed), watched out for his fellow man (and woman), protected, provided, and prayed.

Maybe if we could go back to taking our cues from godly men and fathers instead of Hollywood actors, recording industry playboys, thuggish professional athletes, and pajama-wearing couch warmers we’d raise a new generation of leaders instead of abusers and whiners.

If we could be more like Jesus, that’s the best a man can get. 

4 Comments

Filed under America, community, Culture Wars, current events, politics

We Need Kings, Too

The impetus for this post came from an insurance commercial and a walk down the “princess aisle” at Hobby Lobby.

My Little Princess

Believe me, I get it. I have three daughters, so I am keenly aware of the need to make them feel special.

As a matter of fact, I have been known to go out of my way – actually, it really wasn’t – to make it known my girls are royalty. I have purchased the pink crowns, gone to the banquets, done the “daddy dances,” and participated in the high teas and fingernail polishing.

Shopping at Hobby Lobby

Every Dad should treat his daughter like a princess.

But What About Boys?

I shouldn’t have to elaborate very much because most of you probably already know how maligned the average male is in society, especially if he resembles anything masculine. However, society has yet to recognize the extent of the damage inflicted upon it by a radically-feministic and anti-gender agenda.

An anti-masculine paranoia has left men confused, scared, and spineless. Heck, even car insurance commercials (Liberty Mutual) tout the praise of coverage that can take care of teen boys who don’t know how to change a flat tire!

Proverbs 31 – It’s Not Only About Women

Now, whenever you think of Proverbs 31, what do you think about? The perfect woman? The high bar that is set for any woman who wants to be a model wife? Do you get stressed out with all of the expectations a male society is placing upon you?

Have you ever stopped to consider that Proverbs 31 starts out with a mother warning her son about other women? Have you ever noticed that the first few verses of Proverbs 31 contain words of affirmation…to a MAN?

Speaking of the tempting women and “strong drink,” this wise and caring mother warns,

“It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings…” (Prov. 31:4).

What we need these days are more women like King Lemuel’s mother. We need women who will teach their sons about morality, ethics, duty, honor, responsibility, leadership, and genuine love…because they are kings.

We need parents who will pull the plug on the raw sewage put out by the likes of Yo Gotti and Nicki Minaj (I’m attaching a link to prove my point – viewer beware), and say, “It’s not for kings, my son, it is not for kings.”

The enemy doesn’t want to encourage biblical womanhood any more than he wants to encourage biblical masculinity.

So, empower your little princess; she’s truly precious.

But don’t forget about your prince; we need real men, too.

2 Comments

Filed under Culture Wars, Parenting, Relationships and Family

The President Is a Feminist. He Said It, Not Me

Glamour

The President of the United States wrote a lengthy and heart-felt essay for Glamour magazine. In it he…

wait…

Vintage Obama, per the Glamour essay.

Vintage Obama, per the Glamour essay.

Stop and think about what I just wrote, OK? The leader of the free world, arguably the most powerful man on Earth (arguably), just wrote a lengthy essay specifically for Glamour. Is there nothing about that very thought that turns your stomach, or am I the only one who feels that way?

Anyway, President Barack H. Obama wrote a lengthy, heart-felt essay for a women’s magazine…

wait…

I mean, handbags…holographic fingernails…makeup…”weed” tampons (I’m not joking)…outfit ideas…Kris Jenner’s closet…and not to mention dating and sex advice…and this is the one place the President choses to submit an essay? I just don’t get it.

Where have all the men of this country gone to? Where the heck are they going? What was the purpose of this lengthy, heart-felt essay?

President Obama took the time to submit a lengthy, heart-felt essay explaining how he, the President, is a feminist.

Gag.  Me.  With.  A.  Spoon.

What Women Want?

Besides earning brownie points with all his Hollywood BFF’s, Obama made it clear his feminism has set the standard for what all girls should expect out of a man…a world leader…a petty dictator…and all fathers.

“Michelle and I have raised our daughters to speak up when they see a double standard or feel unfairly judged based on their gender or race—or when they notice that happening to someone else. It’s important for them to see role models out in the world who climb to the highest levels of whatever field they choose. And yes, it’s important that their dad is a feminist, because now that’s what they expect of all men.” – President Barack Obama

God in heaven help us. Whatever happened to “where the men were men and the women were glad of it“?

A Few Points

First, however you want to define it, the most important thing for a daughter is to have a godly, consistent, faithful, wife-cherishing provider who will charge hell with a water pistol in order to protect his little girl. She doesn’t need a mom-jean-wearing pansy who’s just “one of the girls.” Daughters need a father who’s a man, a real man, and not ashamed of it.

Secondly, I certainly hope the women of the future wise up, because if a feminist is all they expect out of a man, there are going to be a whole lot of disappointed females looking for love in all the wrong places.

Third, the biblical model for manliness is one of ultimate self-sacrifice and total, unwavering faithfulness. It is one that sets the highest standard for unconditional love and respect. Mr. Obama, if you really, really cared for your daughters and all the women of the world you would point them toward God’s design for men and women, not Gloria Steinbeck’s.

Now, I think it’s time for a Clint Eastwood movie.

2 Comments

Filed under America, current events, General Observations, Parenting, politics