Tag Archives: Girl

The Non-Boyfriend Boy Friend


Here I am, 46 years into my trip toward room temperature, and I am still having to deal with girls’ emotions. I have been coming to terms with not understanding women, or at least knowing when to stay away when they feel like expressing their intelligence. And nearly 20 years of marriage has conditioned me for another 20 years of “whatever’s” and “yes dears.” So why now, after I have paid my dues, must I once again deal with teenage girls?

My dating years were not the best of years. My self esteem was irreparably scarred by the time one of my first dates asked me to drop her off early…in a parking lot…alone. Girls were like a fire to which I was drawn, and I was the helpless bug continually getting squashed. Therefore, since I am convinced teenage girls are hosts to alien invaders, why must I be forced to give aid and comfort to the enemy of mankind?

If I had to guess, part of the curse of the Fall was having to raise teenage girls. You can’t live with them, and you can’t ______ (you fill in the blank – I’m not going to incriminate myself) their boyfriends.


I was once a boyfriend, and I hated myself for it. That is why I think it is my responsibility to guide other young men away from my daughters. Being a boyfriend is the last thing they should want to be. Staying away is best thing they can do.

However, what I find troubling is the attempt my daughter is making to fool me. She insists that her friend, a boy, is not a boyfriend. Yet, whenever a letter comes in the mail (in between the 42,584 texts), she grins and squeals as she reads it over and over. She invites him over to bake for him on his birthday and have pictures made together with their cheeks touching each other’s goofy faces. Believe, where there is chocolate, followed by physical contact of any kind, I am not fooled.

Between the Lines

So, tonight I made a comment that got Katie asking me all kinds of questions. In casual conversation, my so-far-alien-free daughter, Haley, asked, “When Katie and ____ (insert name or expletive, doesn’t matter) get married…” Excuse me?

That’s when I interrupted with, “She is not gonna marry _____.”

My single, unmarried, unspoken-for, and alien-inhabited daughter, Katie.

My single, unmarried, unspoken-for, and alien-inhabited daughter, Katie.

Later, when I was sitting at the computer, Katie came to kiss me goodnight and asked, “Why did you say I couldn’t marry ______ (insert name of endangered species)?”

Correct me if I am wrong, but was I not told that the non-boyfriend was just a friend? Then why would my statement about who she’s not going to marry be an issue? If my dad had told me I wasn’t going to marry my friend Kevin, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings one bit. So what’s the deal with endangered boy and daydreamer?

If she marries he-who-walks-on-thin-ice, then I’ll be forced to like him. Until then, what’s wrong with simply protecting a non-boyfriend from a danger he can’t understand? Who knows? If I spare him from being abducted by an alien, I might be the best friend the non-boyfriend boy friend could ever have.

He will thank me, later.


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Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Future, Life Lessons, Parenting, Relationships and Family, wisdom

Promise Fulfilled

Daddy, Will You…

Not long ago I received a list from my 12-year old daughter. It was a list of things she wanted to do with me. It was a list of things that she wanted to do with her daddy, when he could make the time.

Well, today I got to check off one of the things on her list – shooting.

Daddy Needs To…

One of the big problems of today’s society is a lack of father participation. Oh, many men (I use that term loosely) are more than happy to make babies and play house, but few are willing to make lifelong commitments, especially to being there for their daughters.

Men, your daughters need you. They need you to love them, to hug them, to have tea parties, and to go shooting. They need you to be the first men in their lives, and the ones that all others are judged by.

Daddies, don’t make your little girls look for love in the arms of some prepubescent, jobless, video-gamer. Don’t let some condom-packing thug come along and be the first one to tell your daughter she’s a princess. Every girl wants to feel special, so prove to her that she is.

Not a Victim

If you really want to do your daughters a favor, teach them how not to be a victim. You know what boys are like, so be the hero…warn your girls! Teach them that it is OK to say “no” to those hormone factories in hoodies. And for when the Justin Bieber wannabe’s try to make a serious move, teach your girls how to take away their offspring-producing capabilities.

And…where possible…teach them how to use a weapon. You can’t protect them forever.

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Filed under America, Life Lessons, Relationships and Family, self-worth