Category Archives: Monday Monkey

Your Cursed Curses Are Useless

Proverbs 26:2

“As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come.” (KJV)

“Like a flitting sparrow or a fluttering swallow, an undeserved curse goes nowhere.” (HCSB)

Curses!

I recently watched a funny scene from the movie Despicable Me. Vector, the really bad guy, had stolen a stolen shrink ray and was playing with it in his bathroom (lavatory), and that’s when he purposely shrunk his toilet. He then proceeded to mock the toilet like it was a defeated enemy. When the shrunken toilet popped off the water line, Vector yelled, “Curse you, tiny toilet!”

Curses are as old as mankind, I suppose. They have been around long before Vector, Scooby Doo, Endora (Samantha’s mother), or the literal witch of Endor (1 Samuel 28:7). The first curses recorded in the Bible can be found all the way back in the book of Genesis. There God cursed the serpent (Gen. 3:14), the ground (Gen. 3:17), Cain (Gen. 4:11), and even the anger of Simeon and Levi (Gen. 49:7). So, it would seem that the earliest curses came not from witches, but from God.

However, when God pronounces a curse, it is usually a denunciation of sin (Nu. 5:21, 23; Dt. 29:19–20), His judgment on sin (Nu. 5:22, 24, 27; Is. 24:6), and the person who is suffering the consequences of sin by the judgment of God is called a curse (Nu. 5:21, 27; Je. 29:18).[1]  On the other hand, men use curses as tools to bring something about. However, the difference between a curse from God and a curse from man is capacity: man’s is limited, but God is omnipotent.

Capacity

Those who spew out curses typically have no ability to see them come to fruition. In Eccl. 8:4 we read: “Where the word of the king is, there is power.” In other words, a king can pronounce a curse on his subject’s land or life and have the ability to make it happen. But for most people, “damning” someone is pretty useless.

I once made a video depicting a monkey puppet making fun of evolution. The video asked the question: “What do you get when cross a monkey with time?” The answer was, “A man? No, just a monkey.” Immediately I received hate mail and curses from atheists around the globe.

Click the picture to watch the video for yourself.

On other occasions I have written about my views on marriage, which have brought even more hateful language, and even threats. The curses came by the boat load and generally read like this: “I hope you get sick and die!…go to hell!…damn you!” But therein lies the point of today’s proverb – cursed curses are useless.

Causeless

Solomon said, “the curse causeless shall not come.” Therefore, we should not fear the curses of fools, for they do not have the capacity bring about the end result. They presume upon a Power beyond their own to bring about the judgment they declare, but “there is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1).

Let the witch doctor cast spells; let the voodoo doll be stuck with pins; let the curses come from Hell itself; they will fly by me like sparrows on the wind, for they are as powerless as the cursed fools who send them.


[1] J. A. Motyer, “Curse,” ed. D. R. W. Wood et al., New Bible Dictionary (Leicester, England; Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1996), 248.

The above post was copied from my other blog, ProverbialThought.com., and adapted for this site.

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Happy President’s Day! Pass the Kleenex

Nothing much has changed in the last 5 years since I first made this little video.

Wait a cotton-pick’n minute! What am I saying?? Plenty has changed in the last five years!

  • I’ve gained weight
  • My wife has lost weight
  • I started pastoring my 3rd church
  • One of my daughters survived 3 years of finals, even though she swore each year she would die.
  • We had a record-setting presidential election – and some of us survived.
  • I went from driving a cool car to driving a mini-van.
  • My 49-year no-bug-eating streak came to an end.

But what has not changed is that people are still getting sick, especially with the typical seasonal allergies, colds, and flu’s that are spread around every year around this time.

While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. – Genesis 8:22

Therefore, even though the following video was made 5 years ago, it’s still perfectly applicable for today 🙂

Enjoy!

(P.S. Yes, the flag is hanging inappropriately, but what does a monkey know? The stars should be on the left.)

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Monday Monkey “Valentine’s Day Song” (Episode 15)

Since I couldn’t get anyone to be my actors and actresses in Wally-Mart, I decided to just draw my own music video.

A few years ago I wrote this song, Try Me, for my wife, Valerie. Yesterday was her birthday, and tomorrow is Valentine’s Day (the holiday she was named after), so I thought it would be appropriate to break out this older post (from 2012) featuring Mr. Monkey.

It is a Monday, you know.

If you’d like for me to perform this song at your next party, just give me a call 🙂

“Try Me”

Oh, by the way, my song IS protected under copyright laws, even though James Brown had a song by the same title back in the 1950’s.

 

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2017, Here I Come!

My Short List

You knew it would come sooner or later, right? Well, this morning I wanted to throw together a short list of things I’d like to do in 2017. Don’t call them “resolutions,” just things I want to do or accomplish.

  • Read through my Bible more than once. Part of that will consist of reading through many of the books in a single sitting.
  • Finish reading some books I started last year… and the years before.
  • Pray “evening, morning, and at noon.”
  • Take my wife to Ruth’s Chris for the first time (maybe for her 50th birthday in February?). But that will depend on whether or not I find another job.
  • Lose some weight.
  • Build a bed frame for my daughter, Haley.
  • Change the brakes on every dadgum vehicle we own 😦 At least we have transportation, true? Well, as long as we can keep up the payment, that is.
  • Bring honor and praise to Jesus. The last thing I want to do is be an embarrassment to His name.

Some Video

Now, just to finish out this first post of the year, I want to leave you with some video moments from my trip to Zimbabwe last year (August). That was truly the highlight of my year, and I do appreciate all of your help getting there.

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Filed under Christian Living, Countries, Future, Monday Monkey, places, the future

Christmas Monkey

The Least of These

This video from a few years ago is one of my favorites. It features my youngest daughter, Haley, wrapping a warm blanket around a shivering Mr. Monkey, and me doing a little guitar in the background. Katie did the camera work.

The message of the video should be obvious, and one that we should take to heart. I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to share it, too!

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Five Years of Monkeying Around

The Notification

This morning I received a sweet little notification from Facebook. It was little reminder of a video I made introducing the “Monday Monkey” segments to my blog.

Sometimes these Facebook notifications are fun. Other times they depress me. I don’t know how to interpret this one. 5 years? Has it really been that long? Then, on the other hand, 5 years ago seems like an eternity.

It’s amazing the flood of water that can run under a bridge in 5 years, isn’t?

The First Official Video

The following week my daughters and I worked on putting together the very first “Monday Monkey” video. The purpose, as stated above, was twofold: 1) to insert a little fun into the mix; 2) to increase subscription numbers – to over 100. As best as I can tell, both goals were met…eventually.

In this first video you will see my middle daughter, Katie, playing the part of a teacher. Ironically, she is now a music education major (junior) at Bryan College in Dayton, TN.

It literally took us about 3 hours to film this little 1-minute video! Ahh, memories 😉

“Monkey Questions”

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Fun and Quirky Me

In a recent email from Tishia at Faithful Bloggers I was asked to list some fun and quirky things about myself. She said…

“When is the last time you shared something fun or a little quirky about you? I encourage you to create a post like this. Your readers will love it! It’ll let them connect with you on a more personal level as you give them a ‘glimpse’ into who you are by sharing some of those silly things.

Therefore, in the second post I’ve written in just one day, I will share with you 10 fun and quirky things: things to love; things to use as a connector; and things to give you a “glimpse” into what makes me the quirky, funny, unusual, and almost-committed person that I am.

  • I don’t have a clean desk, either around my computer in the kitchen or in my office. A clean desk is an invitation to break out books and paper and clutter. A messy desk is a reminder I have too much to do, so I don’t do too much more.
  • The main reason I love iPhones more than any other kind of phone is iMovie. I will be getting the iPhone 7 this year, and I don’t care about the haters; it’s the first phone I’ve gotten in 5 years – and Saturday is my birthday.
  • I shave in the shower – and I never cut myself (which is good for several reasons).
  • I like candy corn, even in the summer.
  • Sometimes I eat dry Capt’n Crunch Cereal when I study. I’ll put it in a bowl and munch on it. It’s what I call “brain food.”
  • I stop by the Mapco gas station every day and make my own iced coffee. It only cost me $.99 instead of $2 billion at Starbucks (which I can’t stand, anyway).
  • I sneeze every time I eat anything (at least 90% of the time)…anything at all… at least three times in a row. No, I don’t know why I do it. It doesn’t matter what I eat, and it varies when the sneezing happens.
  • I get emotional in the butterfly exhibit at the Tennessee Aquarium.
  • I weigh 215 pounds.
  • One of my greatest wishes is that the Pop Tart people would make a pop tart that had no filling… because I enjoy the edges of pop tarts more than the inside.

So, there you have it… fun and quirky things you probably never knew about me. Do you feel closer? More connected? I hope so 😉

I also have a pet puppet monkey who thinks he is real - he even has a pet banana.

I also have a pet puppet monkey who thinks he is real – he even has a pet banana.

 

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Filed under blogging, General Observations, Monday Monkey