Tag Archives: iPhone

Addressing iWorries With iPraise

First of all, I have no photos to upload and post.  If you want to call and talk about it, forget it.

Secondly, I am looking at a computer screen with 1 1/2 times the letters I’m actually typing.

Thirdly, the weeds are still there.

Fourth, I’m an emotional bag of nerves.

Will this be an inspirational post? I don’t know. It all depends. If you have a wonderful life where nothing out of control stresses you out, then you may think to yourself, “Man, I’m glad I’m not that guy.”

On the other hand, you may be in Zimbabwe and might think to yourself, “I wish my problems were as few as his.”

Nevertheless, here’s my story.

iProblems

Last night I went to bed and was going to set my alarm on my phone. When I plugged it into the charger, the charger port was broke. How/when did that happen??! I have no clue, but that has to be fixed…today!

I had photos I was going to upload for a post, but now I dare not turn on my phone and run down what charge I still have. Should there be an emergency, I will need to make a call. But now my wife can’t get ahold of me, and that’s a big problem – as you will see in just a second.

iBlind

And if the phone problem wasn’t enough, my glasses broke yesterday. I mean, I literally took them off my face and the dang things just fell apart! We’re not talking a loose screw, or anything – the frame broke!

If you want to know why that’s a big issue, let me just tell you the brand name of the frame: Silhouette.  Another expensive fix.

iNearly Cursed

Before my glasses fell apart in my hands, something else decided to up and die – the new lawn trimmer.

Look, I don’t have to mow the lawn surrounding our church, the fellowship hall, and the house we live in; someone else does that. However, that someone is a little bit older and has difficulty getting on and off his riding mower, not to mention trimming the grass around three structures and parking lots. So, in order to help out, while at the same time give me the satisfaction of doing something outside, I broke down and purchased a new trimmer.

Keep in mind, I might be 5+ months past shoulder surgery, but pulling the crank on a lawn trimmer is still not easy. So, after about 50 pulls I almost let loose a string of profanities, but I didn’t. Well… maybe a word or two.

iMiss’em

Then, on top of all that, my wife and youngest daughter just drove around the corner and out of sight as they are on their way out of town for 3 days. They are going to a conference in Knoxville, TN.

What’s wrong with that? Well, I absolutely hate it when my wife leaves town, especially with one of the girls. Why? Because they are out there somewhere and I can’t protect them. I’m also pretty clueless when my wife isn’t around to manage things.

It’s sorta kind of crazy, I guess. It’s no big deal for me when I leave town for something, but when my wife leaves town I can’t even sleep at night.

iPraise

So, as I was writing down all my first-world problems, I couldn’t help but be reminded of a scripture passage – literally, it came to mind as I stepped away to let the dog out to pee:

In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. – 1 Thessalonians 5:18 KJV

No, that doesn’t mean I should be thankful my glasses, iPhone, and weedeater broke. But what it does mean is that I should be thankful that even in the middle of all this brokenness, Christ has a plan for me. Yes, even when things like these break.

I must remind myself that God ordains my footsteps, and it might just be that He needs my witness at a repair shop or return counter. If a broken iPhone allows me to talk about Jesus, wouldn’t that be great?

Then, right after I thought of the above verse from 1 Thessalonians, another verse came to mind:

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7 CSB

No, I can’t always be there to watch over my wife and daughters, but God is there. They are in His hand. He can watch over them far better than I can.

If I keep that in mind I might just get some sleep.

 

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Filed under Faith, Relationships and Family, Struggles and Trials, worship

Missing Mr. Monkey

I don’t know about you, but I miss Mr. Monkey. It has been a long time since I made a video with him, and how sad is that? I mean, here I am with an iPhone with all the video-making power one needs (along with iMovie), and nothing…sad.

But part of the problem is a lack of ideas. Writer’s block is easy to overcome – just start writing. But movie-making block is a different story altogether; one has to plan.

So, could you help me? First, you can click on the archive tab above and find links to previous Monday Monkey videos, and that should give you an idea what I’m capable of (and those videos were all done on an iPhone 5s, not my 7!). Then, suggest something. Give me some ideas.

Yes, life is serious, I’m an adult, and there are more important things in life than making movies with a 30-year-old puppet monkey.

But God invented humor. And if He invented it and even used it Himself a time or two, I see no reason why we who are “sober and vigilant” can’t use it for God’s glory.

Leave me some suggestions for plot lines or situations in the comment section below. If I choose your idea (or if it inspires me to do something else), then I’ll send you a signed photo of Mr. Monkey and me!

…OK, you don’t have to accept the photo, but it’s available if you want it. Unless we break the camera 😉

The above photo is nearly 10 years old. Mr. Monkey hasn’t changed a bit!

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Filed under Humor, Monday Monkey, Uncategorized

Updating the “Sermon Archive”

It has been a long while since I last updated my “Sermon Archive” page. As a matter of fact, up until today, the last sermon I uploaded was a video recorded back in 2016!

Well, since then, as many of you know, I’ve been pastoring South Soddy Baptist Church (since Feb. 2017). But it’s only been just recently that I’ve started recording my preaching. Part of the reason was that I didn’t have a way to record any better than times past – I wanted something better than the onboard mic of my iPhone.

Enter the RØDE SmartLav+.

With the SmartLav+ and Audacity (free online audio editing program) I’ve got a winning combination which allows me to easily record in high quality and edit out my stupidity 😉

So, if you don’t mind listening to a twangy, unpredictable, southern preacher, here’s your chance – and it’ll sound gooooood!

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Filed under Preaching

A Long 179 Hours (5 Years After the Fact)

It’s hard to believe, but it’s been 5 years since I finally finished my Masters in Ministry. The following was first published in January of 2013. On a side note, I also received the seminary’s Theology Award – yay me!

Woo Hoo!

Finally, at the end of this spring semester, I will be graduating seminary with an M.Min. It has been a long time coming, too. As a matter of fact, there are people who were born after I started college who already have doctorates and are practicing medicine!

Nevertheless, even though it is not a Doctorate of Divinity or a Doctorate of Philosophy, it is still an accomplishment. It is an accomplishment that has been brought about by the accumulation of 179 credit hours. If you add to that the hours I completed that were not accredited, I would have close to 225!

How Long?

But what does all that really mean? How long did it take to complete 179 hours? Seven and a half years? Far from it, my friends. Far from it.

The average college student, if he didn’t do anything else, could have completed all of the above hours of courses in 6 years.  Add in the total amount I have taken and an average student could have done it all in 8 years, if not sooner. So, when you stop and look at how long it took me, well, let’s just say I am not average.

Here are a few points to put things in perspective…

  • 1971 Press ReleaseRegGas was less than $1 per gallon. The year after I graduated high school, a friend of mine and I took a 1971 Chrysler Imperial on a road trip from Tennessee to Florida. That car could only get 200 miles to a tank of gas, and we still had money to spend.
  • Cassette Tapes to Clouds. When I first started college I was so excited to get a Pioneer cassette deck for my 67 Mustang. Now, my iPhone can hold more music than I could have afforded to own in the 80’s.
  • Bag Phone to iPhone. The first cell phone I used was bolted to the floor of a truck and had a rotary dial, not buttons. The first cell phone I owned came in a bag with a battery four to five times the size of an iPhone. I couldn’t always afford to talk, but I would hold it up to my ear while driving (it was legal to do that back then), especially in the dark, just to show off.
  • Typewriters and Printers. Most people don’t remember typewriters, but I had to use them in high school. Later, after the advent of personal computers, I was able to snag a Tandy 1000. But do you remember those old printers that used paper that had to be guided on rollers? It would take 10 minutes to print a 10-page paper! Still, it was better than typing.
  • Textbooks to E-books. When I first started college an e-book was unheard of. Now textbooks are offered for iPads, Kindles, and phones. I still prefer something with paper, however.
  • Babies to Baby Makers. I have been going to college for so long that babies born when I started have already graduated college and started families! Those babies are now older than the age of girl I was dating in 1987!

It has been a long 179 hours, that’s for sure. Sorta reminds me of eternity. The big difference is that I’m actually looking forward to eternity 🙂

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Filed under Future, General Observations, Life Lessons, wisdom

iPost (Better than a Cigarette)

Smokers have long depended on those short breaks during which they light up and take a few puffs. Employers, if not smokers themselves, allow these little pauses in productivity for the purpose of worker morale, if nothing else.

“Smoke breaks” are the envy of the non-smoking, pink-lunged, over-worked world. Who else gets assigned special sections to indulge in expensive, unhealthy habits? Who else gets to arbitrarily select a time in which everything will come to a halt while one gets to relax and calm one’s nerves?

Well, I need a “writing break.” The only problem is that I’m not at home by my computer; I’m sitting on an empty school bus waiting for my next load of crumb crunchers to be released from their government mandated confinement. What to do?

I will write a post on my iPhone! I will write an iPost!

As a matter of fact, I think I’m going to start something new…I’m going to start posting short, non-graphically-enhanced, simply-fonted “iPosts.” When I can’t sit down to a computer, and when the thought is not so profound that it needs a lot of explanation or bullet points, I will simply “iPost.”

This is the first one.

Because I needed to write.

And too much about politics has been written already.

And it’s better than a cigarette. 

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Filed under blogging, iPosts

De Nyew Testament 

Once again I am composing a post upon my old iPhone (would someone set up a GoFundAnthony account and buy me an iPhone 6?). 

I’m sitting in a school bus, under a bridge, all alone, after dropping off a bunch of kids on a summer field trip. They are riding the Riverboat while I sit here waiting. But, it’s a great opportunity to read and study. 

Anyway

One of the treasures I picked up the last time I was in Charleston was a new Bible. But this Bible is a little different – no, it’s a LOT different – from others I have: it’s in a different language! And I am reading it! 

De Nyew Testament is a translation of the New Testament into the Gullah language. No, it’s not a paraphrase or a for-fun parody of the KJV; it’s a literal translation of the NT into a genuine language. Gullah (also known as Geechee or Sea Island Creole) is a language “traditionally spoken along the coastal area of South Carolina and Georgia.” 

According to the preface, it took more than 25 years for folks from Wycliffe Bible Translators and the American Bible Society to pull this translation together. And let me tell you something: it’s worth getting. 

If you are a fluent reader of English, then you can read Gullah. It will take some practice, but you’ll get used to it and start to pick up on its rhythm. 

So, here I was under a bridge, in a school bus, next to the riverfront, reading a little from the Gullah version of the NT, when tears filled my eyes. And because of that, I wanted to write this post so I could share with you the particular verse of Scripture that got me. Read it through a few times, then let me know if it blessed you the way it blessed me 🙂 

“Look yah! We oughta study pon how de Fada da bless we wid e lob! E da lob we sommuch dat e call we e own chullun, an we e chullun fa true. People ob de wol ain been know who God da, an cause ob dat, dey ain know we.” 1 John 3:1 (Gullah)

“Look yah!” We ought to be studyin’ about how the Father has done blessed us with His love! Glory be to God! 

   

 

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Filed under Bible Study, blogging, book review, God, translations, Uncategorized, worship

The Abomidable Snow Monkey

Pardon me, but this post is a test of WordPress’ upgraded smartphone app. 

The snow came suddenly, along with the frigid air that chilled my blood. But nothing could cause me to freeze in fear than a face-to-face encounter with the mythical, yet now all-too-real, Abomidable Snow Monkey. 

I had been in my study studying, which is what I always swear I’m doing when I leave the estrogenated atmosphere of home for a few hours, when I finally had to break away from the parchments (wouldn’t you love to diagram a sentence like this?). So, up from my chair I arose, away from my desk I stepped, eventually exiting the mine in which I readily dig for wisdom. Into the cold I went, at first greeted with a refreshing breath of refreshingly refreshing cold air, then shocked with a chilling terror – the Abomidable Monkey. 



There it was, backdropped by a hillside of tombstones, proof that fur and fear can inhabit the same flanneled square foot. What was I to do but slowly raise my iPhone and take a creative picture?

He/it stared. I stared back with nary a word. Then, like a couple of drifting snow flakes, we softly walked away, as if snow flakes could walk. 

I will never forget that snowy day. And I’ll never again lay a wet with snow monkey on my office chair, either. 

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Filed under blogging, Humor, Monday Monkey