Category Archives: Food

Help Me Lose Weight!

I am now going to make use of the world wide web and call out for advice, because I know a lot of you have plenty to offer (I mean that in a good way).

I will be 50 years old in September. For years and years I have stayed around 200 lbs (average of 210 for the last decade). But now I am gaining…and I want it to stop. I mean, just look at the scale from today! I am going to have to let out my suit coat before I can afford to buy a new one!


Anyway, some of  you are very knowledgeable in this subject, so I am going to ask for your best weight-loss tips and stategies. Keep in mind the following before you respond:

  • I am 50 years old.
  • I have a damaged rotator cuff in my right shoulder.
  • I have a bad right knee (can’t run).
  • I hate cottage cheese with a passion.
  • I don’t do kale.
  • I will NOT give up coffee.
  • I have a Total Gym, but no money for a gym membership.
  • My weight goal is 180 pounds (I’m 5’9″), even though some may advise it to be more like 160; I don’t want to look like a stick; some fluffiness makes me more adorable.

So, can you help?

Even more importantly, do you care enough to hold me accountable?

Remember, if we are the body of Christ, and I am a member of the same body you are, me being overweight might just be slowing you down, too!

Let’s do this thing, OK?

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Filed under Christian Unity, community, fitness, Food, Uncategorized

Wednesday Craziness – Peanut Butter-Style

I love watching the guys on Good Mythical Morning, so in honor of them, my daughters for turning me on to them, and the most wonderful of all sandwich foods – peanut butter – I made my own video for today.

After eating crickets, and going to Zimbabwe and trying those tiny dried fish, I should be able to eat anything, right?

Enjoy, but don’t gag. It’s not that bad.

 

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Filed under Food, Humor

Beware of False Cookies

A little Wednesday wisdom from way back when. This post was first published in June of 2011. 

The Chinese Restaurant

This afternoon, after Sunday morning services, we went to a Chinese restaurant. There with some of our youth and their parents, we made multiple trips back and forth to the only kind of bar a Baptist is expected to frequent – one that has food.

Usually I eat a little of everything at a Chinese restaurant, except sushi – that stuff is just plain nasty. But today, because I decided I had not eaten fish in a long time, I felt compelled to stay with just one subset of the universal set of oriental cuisine: seafood…(how’s that for a math reference?). I’d had my share of deep-fried battered chicken, beef, and whatever.

Sweet and Sour What?

On a side note, have you ever stopped to think about how much trust one puts in the food he is eating? Just because a label says “Sweet and Sour Chicken,” does it mean “Sweet and Sour Rat, Cat, Snake, Penguin, Leopard, Iguana, etc.” taste any different? From what I have been told, everything not pork, beef, or duck tastes like chicken. Put enough breading on little pieces of meat and it’s all the same.

I say let’s become legalistic about this issue, if nothing else. Certain meats should have certain shapes, or at least keep the skin on it. How else are we supposed to know what has been deep fried and covered in some exotic sauce that smells so good you forget your neighbor’s chihuahua went missing. Everything chicken should look like a chicken or have a feather sticking out of it. If I’m gonna be eating rattlesnake, at least give me a rattle to take home and play with. If they don’t start doing this, I may have to quit eating at Chinese restaurants and stick with the BBQ place – you know, the one conveniently located next to the emergency animal clinic?

Edible Fortunes

Seriously, I can’t stop eating at the the  Numba Won Happy Mandarin Peking Garden of Panda Love Restaurant. Where else could I find a cookie with wisdom? Chinese Restaurants are the only places I know with fortune cookies, and somehow they really know me.

Now, some people open up a fortune cookie only to find stupid stuff like, “The sky will be blue for you today, unless you cloud it with doubt.Riiiight. Like, could you be any more vague?

On the other hand, my wife got one today that said, “Soon you will inherit land.” What? From whom? If she has a relative that has land to give away that’s not already promised to whiter sheep, then I’ll be really amazed. But mine are different. Mine are…

Scary Fortunes

One time I was just finishing up my road training before I started driving school buses in Tennessee. I went to a Chinese buffet for lunch, after which I got a fortune cookie. I am not lying, the piece of paper said, “You are about to enjoy success at a new job.” But what was more creepy was the Chinese word of the day was the word for “school bus.” N o  j o k e !

Today was another example of scary cookie wisdom. Would you believe that it knew I was a pastor? Would you believe that it knew I like to speak in front of large crowds? Amazingly, it knew that I am “the center of attention” whenever I am in a crowd (which is true at least three times a week). What is it supposed to mean?

False Cookies

It means that even a stupid cookie can get something right every now and then, especially if the statement enclosed is vague enough. On the other hand, it should be a reminder that there are forces at work in this world trying to deceive those with “itching ears” (2 Timothy 4:3).

“Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” – 1 John 4:1

“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.” – Mark 13:22

Don’t believe ’em, just eat ’em.

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Filed under baptist, Food, Future, General Observations, the future, World View

How Badly Do You Want to Be Loved?

Jingles (not the bell kind)

Do you ever catch yourself singing commercial jingles for no apparent reason? Well, when I am driving, bored, and a little (or a lot) sleepy, I tend to start singing songs I learned as a child. In particular, one song is tops on my repertoire

The Oscar Mayer Wiener Song.

Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener / That is what I’d truly like to be ‘Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener / Everyone would be in love with me.

First appearing in 1965, this song has become boiled, grilled, steamed, fried, and even micro-waved into our memories. But recently it struck me…what in the world am I saying? Am I so desperate for the attention of others that I would be willing to become an unhealthy food source?

The Need for Love

There are many hurting people in the world who would wish for nothing more than someone to love them. They go to great lengths to be prettier, richer, more popular, or even more “available” – all to find love. But do you really think it’s a good idea to wish you were a hot dog?

What most people don’t know is that there was a second verse to the Oscar Mayer wiener song. In the 1965 commercial a truly intelligent boy quickly understood the true ramifications of the song’s wish and sang the following:

Oh, I’m glad I’m not an Oscar Mayer wiener / That is what I’d never want to be/ ‘Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener / There would soon be nothing left of me.

Sing it, brother! You tell ’em! Why would anyone want to be a hot dog? Do you really want to be loved so badly that you would sacrifice your humanity and allow yourself to be eaten? It’s not worth it, people…believe me!

The lyrics to this song could be re-written to expose what people are really saying. “Oh I wish I was something else instead of human / A tube of meat is what I want to be / I’d gladly die alone in boiling water / If you would only say that you loved me.

in potLook, there is no reason to want to become a hot dog (you might get eaten by one). Really, there is nothing to be gained by having your body boiled or grilled on an open flame; covered in chili, relish, mustard, and onions; then chewed repeatedly until you’re swallowed by someone who will forget you an hour later (unless the chili upsets them). Stay human. It’s better that way! 

You ARE Loved!

Ironically, someone did become something He was not in order to die for love. The big difference is that He was God and became Human, not a hot dog. And what’s more, He didn’t die to be loved – He died because He loved. His name is Jesus, and He died for you.

“For God so love the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16 KJV

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8 NIV

You are VERY loved!

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Filed under Uncategorized, General Observations, Food, salvation, Witnessing

Biscuits, Jelly, and Legalism

Seriously, because it happened once again this morning – at a totally different Hardee’s.

Here’s the deal…

One can easily make rash judgments about people based on certain actions. A legalist will look at those actions and come to the conclusion that the ones being judged are in need of spiritual growth, revival, or maybe total repentance. How then should a “recovering legalist” judge, if at all, people who can’t get your biscuit order right?  Ever!

one sausage biscuit

Image via Wikipedia

For years I have been going to Hardee’s for breakfast. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t go there every day; only once a week, or so. Usually, I order a chicken or sausage biscuit with cheese and a cup of coffee. That is my standard, but occasionally I order a jelly biscuit, too. I get the jelly biscuit many times for my wife. But no matter how many times I go to the drive-through window, the outcome is always the same:

Speaker:   Hello, welcome to Hardee’s, would you like to try our new gravy-covered, bacon-stripped, egg-wrapped, ham-filled, spicy jalapeño, smoked sausage biscuit breakfast meal?

Me:           No, thank you. I would like a jelly biscuit and a medium coffee, please.

Speaker:   Would you like to make that a combo and add hashrounds, a larger size drink, a bigger bag, more calories, and a bigger bill?

Me:           No, thank you; just the jelly biscuit and coffee.

Speaker:   Would you like to add one of our new multi-fruit, caramel and nut covered, sugar-dipped, candy biscuits?

Me:           No…thanks.  Just a biscuit with butter on it and two packs of jelly (for the jelly biscuit), and the coffee.

Speaker:   Will that be all?

Me:           Yes.

Speaker:   Is your complicated, hard-to-understand order correct on our high-tech, flashy, electronic order-confirming screen?

Me:          Yes, it is.

Speaker:   Ok. Please drive around to the next window, please (2 please’s are always nice).

So, I drive around to the window to pick up my simple order of a jelly biscuit and coffee. How hard could it be? The sign that I was just looking at had all the stuff this place is supposed to sell, including, for $.99, a JELLY biscuit. Did I say, JELLY BISCUIT?

I get to the window, and then a granny-like lady leans through with my coffee. Got it….coffee….just like I ordered.

Next, after taking my money, I am handed a greasy, paper bag containing the simple (or maybe complicated) order of a JELLY BISCUIT.  Granny says, “Thank you, sweetie. Have a nice day and come back!” I then look in my bag which is supposed to contain Hardee’s completed portion of our transaction.

I stop my car….sigh….mutter something under my breath….bang my head on the steering wheel…..and do just what granny asked….

I go back!

When you order a JELLY BISCUIT, shouldn’t you expect dadgum JELLY?!!

Back to the window I go to get my jelly for my JELLY biscuit.  2 PACKS!  Window opens:

Granny:  Can I help you, dear?

Me:          Yes, I need jelly.  I ordered a JELLY biscuit, and there was no JELLY in the bag.

Granny:   Oh, I’m sorry, you have to ask for the jelly.

Me:         (Look of disbelief, feelings of high blood pressure not caused by the high-sodium content of the biscuit I have not yet consumed…because I didn’t get any JELLY for a JELLY BISCUIT!) Really? Well can I have 2 packs of strawberry?

Granny:   How many do you want, sweetie?

Me:         TWO.

Granny:  Here you go, sweetie. Now you come back!

I do go back, but I don’t know why. Maybe I just have a big heart for the “order-taking” challenged.

All I want is a jelly biscuit with, oh, I don’t know……..JELLY!

Obviously, someone at Hardee’s needs to get their heart right with the Lord…or am I being too legalistic? Maybe I need to show a little more grace. Maybe I need to do as some have suggested (like my friend, Rhonda) and just have a stash of jelly with me at all times, just in case. Or maybe, I should keep in mind the words of Proverbs 10:12,  “Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins,” and just keep my jelly-mongering to myself.

I really like Hardee’s…but anyone claiming to be right with God should automatically give JELLY with a JELLY biscuit…it’s the LAW!  Isn’t it?

Oh well, see…living a life of grace isn’t always easy…sometimes you have to eat your biscuits plain.

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Filed under America, Food, legalism

A Two-Coffee Day

Brewed from the freshest Arabica beans, one black over ice, the other with cream. 

Both are cold, FYI…and both are mine to drink as I drive. 

A total of twenty-four ounces of java, and all it cost was a few cents and two dolla. 

A little while ago I was feeling a bit tired, but it won’t be long until I’m wired. 

I love my truck stop iced dual portion of caffeinated smiles to drink while in motion! 

It’s just that kind of day. 

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Filed under Food, Uncategorized

Anthony’s Appetite (Zimbabwe Edition)

My Appetite

Several years ago I started writing posts about food, but I haven’t done any for a long while. The “Anthony’s Appetite” segments were meant to give me a reason to play an amateur food critic in hopes of getting free meals 😉 Well, I never got any free meals, but I did get to eat some interesting dishes.

*Speaking of several years, I just learned from WordPress that today is my 7th anniversary for blogging! Cool, huh?

Anyway, I will eat a lot of things at least once. I’m not as brave as Andrew Zimmern, but I am adventurous for an American. Therefore, it’s a little easier for me to travel to new places and eat food I’ve never seen before. My wife, on the other hand, would die of starvation.

Zimba-food

The average food I ate in Zimbabwe was chicken. This was the main staple meat. However, the main food of Zimbabwe is a thing called sadza.

One day I was the guest for lunch with a high-ranking professor at the Chinhoyi University of Technology (CUT). That day he took me to one of the small hotels that the university had acquired for its hospitality program. There, right in the open, food was prepared in an iron wok over an open fire and served buffet-style. Beef tips, fish, “vegetable,” and sadza was on the menu.

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What is sadza? Well, think of grits, only ground finer, then the consistency of heavy mashed potatoes. It’s made from corn meal, is designed to be eaten with your hands, and has the taste of grits with no salt or butter.

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Speaking of open fire, most all the food I ate in Zimbabwe was prepared by some lady in a mud hut. If it wasn’t made in a mud hut, it was made in an open area, but in every case there was a fire. And speaking of fire, I was terribly impressed with the way the folk in Zimbabwe were able to cook with such little wood! Where we in America would need to fill a fireplace, these people could cook a whole meal over three little limbs!

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The Taste Test

One night we decided to try a Zimbabwe version of a truck stop diner. Frankly, it wasn’t that bad. The only thing that stretched me was one of the little foods I was told people drive for miles to get – to eat with their sadza. It was called dried Matemba (kapenta).

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You know, Google it if you’d like, but whatever this fish was…I only ate one. One of these chewy little critters tasted like concentrated fish  – the kind of taste you try to cover up because it “tastes like fish” – and river water (river water around here tastes like fish). I about gagged. I can’t imagine eating a whole meal of these things.

Pizza Heaven

Our number one most frequently visited eating establishment of the trip was a little pizza place in Chinhoyi called Pizza Inn. Actually, it’s a combo type of place with a Chicken Inn, also (“with the flavor you’ve loved since 1987!”).

I’ve eaten a lot of pizza, but let me be very honest…Pizza Inn makes some seriously good pizza! And let me tell ya, Peri Peri Chicken pizza is da’ bomb!! Yessir! The pizza in the picture below was from the last night we ate there. It was four different types of pizza in one. AND, on Tuesday nights you could get two for the price of one!

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Every night after our individual revival service meetings, the three of us preachers and our driver, Agayi, would stop in for pizza. For crying out loud, a loaded medium was only six dollars! And that could literally feed two people! Good stuff.

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The other things was that Pizza Inn was the only place open that late (after 8 pm), and it was consistently clean.

But I Did a Bad Thing

Now, before I end this I must tell you about the worst thing I did while in Zimbabwe (except when I filmed myself in an area in the capital – who knew doing so was punishable by death?)…. I turned away some food.

Yes, I know it. How could I, right? One of the worst things you can do in a foreign country is offend your host by saying, “I’m sorry, but if I eat any more of this I’ll puke on your pretty table.” Well, that’s not exactly what I said, but it was close.

Most of the time when we think of dessert we never think of questionable contents, only sweet stuff. I mean, there’s usually nothing gross in dessert to offend the Western palate, right? Well, this time I ran into a culinary brick wall, one I could not get through or go around – I had to say “NO!”

What was it? What made it so hard to eat? How about I just show it to you and list the ingredients.

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The above dish didn’t look toooo unappetizing, especially since I recognized sliced bananas. And since I’d been to the Luck’s Bean factory and eaten desserts prepared with beans (like pinto bean pie which tasted like pecan pie), I was ready to give this food a try, even if I’d never thought of banana and bean going together.

But then the rest of the ingredients had a hard time going down my throat – in combination with the bananas and beans: Onions, leeks, yogurt, and a thousand island-like dressing.

One spoonful was all I could handle.

Fellowship, Not Food

But really, it’s not about the food – it’s about the fellowship…something of which we’re in short supply in the States.

Sitting around at lunch or dinner – or even around a table in a pizza joint – would be nothing much to write about had it not been for the great people we ate with. Our hosts and friends in Zimbabwe treated us like family, even royalty. It really didn’t matter what food was served, the fellowship with these dear brothers and sisters in Christ was the sweetest parts of every meal.

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If nothing else, anything is better than airline food!

 

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Filed under community, Countries, Food, places