Tag Archives: Health

Bodily Exercise Profiteth a Little

The other day I saw a poster on the wall of my physical therapist’s office. I took a picture of it just for you, my readers. 

I thought to myself, “Self, there’s a blog post if I’ve ever seen one.” 

Self replied, “Yes, I believe you are correct, as always. Why not take a photo of it?”

“Already on it,” said I to self. 

“Good play, my boy! Bravo!”

“Yes,” I answered, “I know.”

So, here is the poster, followed by my thoughts. 


By the looks of it, running, golfing, tennis, and swimming can do almost as much harm as good! I mean, exercise could kill you! 

On the other hand, the Apostle Paul didn’t totally dismiss exercise; he admitted there was a “little” profit. 

For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come. – 1 Timothy 4:8 (KJV)

The thing to remember is that no matter how healthy you become, death is following close behind. It’s our spiritual health that matters most of all. 

How do you exercise? 

4 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Life Lessons, Life/Death, salvation

Childhood Wisdom?

Listen to the Children

I will never forget a commercial I saw on television. It was a long time ago, and I still get irritated. The main line that was repeated over and over was, “Listen to the children.”

Oh, it was one of those environmental, tree-hugging commercials that had little kids instructing adults how to live their lives. One little girl would say something like, “Don’t make me starve,” while another little boy would go on about how eating at McDonald’s would ruin the earth’s water supply – or something like that.

Anyway, every time a toddler would voice her scripted opinion a deep, male voice would echo in response, “Listen…to the children.” Yes, adults should listen to a 5-year-old because of her years of accumulated wisdom untainted by experience.

What Do they Say?

If we to listen to the little crumbcrunchers long enough, we will hear things like:

  • screaming kid“I don’t want to eat that, Mommy! I want cake!”  Listen…to the children.
  • “I don’t want to take bath!” Listen…to the children.
  • “If I was president, I would make everybody happy and would never have school and make parents buy every kid a unicorn and never have to go to bed and make the world like warm all the time with snow all year.”  Listen…to the children.
  • “All I want to do is go home, get some food, and play my video games all weekend!” Listen…to the…wait, an adult said that. 

AND did you know that children have figured out the whole gender (man/woman) thing? Believe it or not, according to the kids on my school bus, girls are smart, but boys are stupid. Here’s how they describe the difference:

“Girls go to college to get more knowledge.

Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.”

Girls go to college, but boys go to Jupiter. Hmmm…may we ponder that for a moment?

  • What type of intelligence was required to put man on the moon?
  • Methane and ethane make up a tiny proportion o...What type of brain power was needed to land an un-manned rover on Mars?
  • What kind of genius will it require to send man four times the distance to the sun in order to view up-close the deadly storms of Jupiter?
  • Stupid boys can go to Jupiter while girls are still fighting over who should be sorority president – and who’s stupider?

Train ‘Em

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I gather from this verse that it is therefore the responsibility of the older, wiser, more responsible parent to teach the child.

They should listen to us. But what are we teaching?

5 Comments

Filed under Christian Maturity, Parenting, Relationships and Family

I Need a “Spirical”

A What?

I need a spirical. You mean you don’t know what that is? A spirical is the spiritual version of a physical – hence, spiri – cal. The problem is that the last time I checked, my insurance policy doesn’t cover such a thing (unless it’s covered under psychiatric care).

Yes, I need a spirical, just like (well, almost like) the actual physical I received yesterday.

The Physical

Do I really need to go into a lot of detail about my physical? Some of it could be rather embarrassing, you know. Because even though I try to be as transparent as possible, there is such a thing as TMI (too much information). Nevertheless, let’s see what I can do.

My examiner for this round of embarrassment was a nice young woman (they keep getting younger) named Dr. Natalie McQueen. She was very professional, too, and never once laughed at how out of shape I am (which I appreciated).  No, all she did was off-handedly mention that exercise and diet modification might help lower my triglycerides.

depressorsThe typical physical includes much of the following…

  • Blood work
  • Checking one’s weight
  • Checking blood pressure
  • Listening to the heart, lungs, and bowels.
  • Checking reflexes and looking for nerve issues
  • Checking the eyes, ears, nose, and throat
  • Getting undressed and putting on a scratchy gown that opens to the back (the rest I will leave to your imagination).

It was when I was on my way home, feeling violated, yet relieved my report was good, that I started thinking about how we Christians should have annual spiritual check-ups.

The Spirical

Who better to give a spirical than God? What, you want pastor or counselor doing that kind of thing? Are you crazy? They’re not the Doctors; they’re just the receptionists, the P.A.’s, and the nurses. If you want a REAL examination of your spiritual self, you need to go straight to the Specialist of Specialists and let Him get to work.

If you think I’m a little crazy with all this spirical talk, then you must also think poor Job and King David were off their rockers…

  • Let me be weighed in an even balance, that God may know mine integrity. – Job 31:6
  • Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. – Psalm 139:23-24
  • Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart. – Psalm 26:2

One reason people shy away from getting an annual physical is because they don’t want to hear any bad news. They live their lives with abandon, then expect the doctor to examine them and declare them healthy.

Could it be that we rarely hear of spiritual check-ups because so few of us want to be weighed, searched, tried, examined, and proven by the only One who can see through our excuses and bad habits?

Maybe we like being unhealthy.

 

10 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, fitness

Surgery Day

Sometime this afternoon (after 12 p.m. EST), I don’t exactly know when, a surgeon, a man highly skilled in his art, will open up my flesh and attempt to correct a problem which has been bothering me for several months. I’m going under the knife.

Oh, it’s not a big surgery, like having my brain removed and replaced with a turnip (that only happens when conservatives become liberals, and the government pays for the operation). No, I am having my hand operated on, specifically my left thumb. Why? It’s not working the way it should, or rather, “designed.”

Even for small surgeries like this, but especially when one is going to be put to sleep, one is asked serious questions about life and death.

  • “Do you have a living will and power of attorney?”
  • “Who do we contact if something goes horribly wrong?”
  • “If you were to do something in your sleep to make the anesthesiologist screw up, would you prefer a priest or a generic Protestant?”

The fact is that no surgery is a “little” surgery when it requires one to be anesthetized. Let’s face it, even though I’m only going to be having my thumb and hand cut on, I literally could die today. Yes, things like that happen.

This could be my last post. Sobering, eh?

But I’m not worried; my eternity is secure.

This operation has also gotten me thinking about spiritual surgeries, the kind when God has to come along and cut on our hearts. Fortunately, there is no need for anesthesia or living wills, but it’s surprising how many people refuse to let Him operate, even when the end result would be much better health.

Why is it I am so willing to allow a human doctor to put me under and cut me open when I’m so unwilling, at times, to trust my Creator with cutting away the things that make my spiritual life sick? Why would I want to be less effective in my walk with God any more than I want my hand to be crippled? Makes no sense, does it?

So, I’m having surgery in just a few hours. Pray for me.

In the meantime I’m going to be having a consultation with my heavenly Doctor. The great thing is that when He does His cutting, the Sword He uses not only cuts, but heals, too. Recovery time is up to me and how quickly I want to obey.

God bless! 

UPDATE: I am still alive, but typing is a tad bit limited. My left thumb was cut open at the palm to release the tendon which makes it bend. I was suffering from an acute case of “trigger thumb.” Now let’s just pray I don’t do anything crazy in my sleep 😦

painful hand

Pain medication is a wonderful thing.

2 Comments

Filed under Faith, fitness, Future, General Observations, Life/Death

Secrets to a Long Life

Morning Questions

I don’t know what it is about Monday mornings and the questions kids want to ask while I am driving. Something must happen over the weekends which cause children to seek wise counsel from the school bus driver.

One question I got the other day was just too big for me. I mean, seriously, I laughed, shook my head, and ignored the kindergartner. He asked, “Mr. Baker, why is the world so big?” If I had answered truthfully and said, “Because that’s the way God made it,” then I would have been fired. So, since I couldn’t think of anything overly stupid with which to respond, I stayed silent.

However, this morning, there was a question I had to answer. This morning a young girl got on the bus and asked, “Mr. Baker, do you know the secret to living a long life?” “Well, there are several secrets, but what’t the one you know?”

“Play the harmonica,” she replied.

“Play the harmonica?”

“Yes,” she said matter-of-factly. “Because playing the harmonica will help your lungs, and strong lungs will help you live longer.”

“Is that so?” I asked. “Yep,” answered the little girl.

“Well,” I replied, “my daddy played the harmonica, and he’s dead.”

My Secrets 

OK, so I’ve never been convicted for the over use of tact. Sometimes I am too brutally honest for my own good (so my wife says). Other times, however, I can be sweet and compassionate – just not this morning, evidently.

Anyway, this morning’s question got me to thinking. Could I come up with some secrets for living a long life?

10 Secrets to Living a Long Life (by someone who hasn’t yet died):

  1. Never pull the trigger when it’s pointed at you.
  2. Never smoke more than 3 cigars in an hour.
  3. Never jump from a moving vehicle if it’s moving through the air.
  4. Never corner a rock badger.
  5. Drink at least 3 glasses of something a week.
  6. Eat food.
  7. Don’t drive drunk, or with a teenage girl with directional issues.
  8. Breath regularly, except in the tourist’s bathroom at the Bush’s Baked Bean factory.
  9. Hide all sharp objects, scissors, and ammunition before going to bed with an angry wife.
  10. Drink excessive amounts of coffee.

Serious Secrets

Now that you have my secrets for living a long, not necessarily healthy, life, what does the Bible say about long life? What kind of “secrets” can we find hidden in that wonderful book of Wisdom?

5 Biblical Secrets to Long Life

  1. Obey and honor your parents (Deut. 5:16; Eph. 6:1-3).
  2. Don’t mess around with another person’s spouse (Prov. 6:29-35).
  3. “Keep my commandments, and live…” (Prov. 7:2).
  4. “Forsake the foolish, and live…” (Prov. 9:6).
  5. Repent of your sins and accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior – that’s the secret to ETERNAL life (John 3:15-16; 10:28; Rom. 6:23).

 

So, what are your secrets to living a long life? Do you have any more to share with us? Leave them in the comment section so we can all learn to live a little longer 😉

5 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Humor, Life Lessons, Life/Death

Her Pain Is Mine

Fibromyalgia

I don’t know what you know about fibromyalgia, but whatever it is, whatever causes it, my wife suffers terribly from it. Over the last several years it has robbed my wife of her ability to enjoy many things in life that we take for granted, like sitting, sleeping, getting dressed, washing one’s hair, or even being hugged.

So many people doubt fibromyalgia is real. They say that if it was a legitimate illness, then there would be clearly identifiable symptoms, specific medications or treatments that would work, and even a Jerry Lewis-like celebrity raising money for research. Unfortunately, the only real constant for my wife is pain, and all that comes with never getting relief.

valeriePutting on a brave face is a daily occurrence. My wife was always the hard worker, the entrepreneur, and the aggravating “early riser” who would wake everyone else in the house with, “Thank you, Lord, for this fine day!” Now, her smile is for the encouragement of others who look to her as a pastor’s wife; but her family knows the truth: she spends much of her time in tears.

We have tried doctor after doctor, from local clinics to Vanderbilt. Tests of every kind have been run, yet all are inconclusive. The only diagnosis is fibromyalgia – and there is no cure. She has her better days, and her really bad days, but rarely are there good days. It would seem that this is a burden which we are destined to bear, that is, until God sees fit to lift it.

After a particular troubling doctor visit today, one who made all kinds of false assumptions and accusations, my dear wife decided she couldn’t handle much more. She wept. That is when I wrote the following poem.

Give Us Strength

I tend to wonder

About what I know

Or at least what I think I know

About pain, about grief

About the reason for no sleep

I tend to wonder

I tend to ask

The usual “whys?”

And I guess I know the “why”

But I doubt at times

When there’s no reason or rhyme

I tend to ask

I know the truth

But I tend to wonder

About the load she’s under

The pain without an end

I ask for answers, even when

I know the Truth

Give me strength

But give her more

Dry her tears; make mine pour

On my shoulders place her sorrow

And for the joy again tomorrow

Give us strength

Pray for Us

I try to be funny on this blog. There are times I get angry, too. But right now I really want to ask all of you who pray to intercede for my wife, Valerie. Pray for her healing. Pray that I will know how to better encourage her. But pray, most of all, that through all that we endure God will receive the glory.

As both of us cry together and wonder why she has to go through this, I am reminded of our Savior who also cried in the garden and said: “Father, if it be your will, let this cup pass from me.” Our prayer is that this will pass.

But, Jesus also said, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done.” (Luke 22:42) Whatever tomorrow holds, to God be the glory!

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV

10 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Defining Marriage, Do not judge, Faith, Life Lessons, poetry, Relationships and Family

Stupid Chest Pain!

Not Again!

Earlier in the year (maybe late last year) I had been having chest pain. At one point I was literally afraid I was having a heart attack. Yet, after extensive humiliation, all tests came back negative (which is actually a positive).

Well, here we go again. More chest pain – in the same place – and more tests. Friday night I went to the ER just to be safe (and to make certain people be quiet). That’s when I got the same questions, the same initial tests, and the same evil looks from self-righteous, healthy, gym-membership-owning nurses who know I need to lose weight.

However, this time was a little different from times in the past.

What Am I?

When my wife and I first got to the hospital, I walked up to the desk and was greeted by a not-so-sweet lady with a clip board. “What’s the reason for your visit?” she asked. “Um, well, it’s a chest pain thing,” I answered. Then, without looking up she hands me a clip board and says, “Fill this out and sign at the bottom, then take a seat.”

In a moment or two I am triaged and taken to have chest x-rays. When I got to the room for the x-ray the technician asked to see my arm band (for identification). They had not given me one.

Later, while lying in bed and hooked up to monitoring devices, a hospital rep came in to ask me a lot of personal questions. They needed to know about any medications, whether or not I had insurance, and about previous illnesses or surgeries. Among the questions were the following:

  • “Mr. Baker, are you now, or have you ever been pregnant?” she asked. “I know I may look it, but no,” was my reply.
  • “Are you on any type of birth control medication?” That’s when I look at her with the same look that Gary Coleman used to have when he said, What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?

Now folks, I have had little kids come up to me, touch my belly, and ask, “Are you having a baby?” But honestly, either my wife has been secretly poisoning me with estrogen, or this woman must have though I was one ugly woman in a lesbian relationship. Why would she ask such questions? You’d think my facial hair, low voice, and Adam’s apple would be a dead giveaway!

Signing Out

Fortunately, the ER doctor decided not to admit me. He said they wouldn’t be able to do an arteriogram over the weekend, so I might as well go home and take nitrates until next week when I talk to a cardiologist. Who knows? I might be in bad shape, but we will have to wait.

So, after talking with the doctor, he said: “I’ll have them bring in your paperwork, then you’ll be free to go home.”

Guess what was written on the prescription?

Name: Anthony Baker   Sex: Female

Should change my name to Antonia? !!

In all seriousness, I would appreciate your prayers. I still feel pain and have little energy. It would be great to find out what is wrong (as inexpensively as possible).

15 Comments

Filed under fitness, General Observations, Humor