Category Archives: clothing

Things to Do In 2019: Lose an “X”

Honesty Is the Best Policy

OK, I am going to be completely honest with you, dear reader, and the rest of the world – even Dr. Phil…

I’m overweight! 

If the truth be known, I could stand to lose 40 pounds and at least one “X” from my clothing. My current collection is 2 X’s, including an extra “X” for more casual occasions. Believe it or not, my first new suit in years had a coat size of 50R!  I should be in a 44, or less.

Needless to say, I am not as photo-worthy as the sleek version of myself in my header pic, that’s for sure. That’s why I haven’t changed it in the last 8 years!

Not My Temple

But the thing that is so hard to remember when I get a hankering for fresh-baked bread is that this body does not belong to me – it belongs to the Lord.

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. – 1 Corinthians 6:19–20 

God not only owns my soul, but He owns this old (literally) body, too. My body is His temple, and I have never been given permission to build any extensions.

Therefore, it is my intention to restore the condition of this fleshly temple, making it more usable and more profitable for the One who owns it in 2019 and beyond.

To do otherwise would be a sin.

Literally.

Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth [it] not, to him it is sin. – James 4:17

 

Oh, and I’ve got to average 83 views a day to break that 30,000 mark.

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Filed under clothing, Food, the future

After Christmas Is Proof We Need to Be Redeemed

As I was thinking about some things I wanted to write this morning, a thought popped into my head which was far more profound than my original idea correcting other peoples’ spelling…

The feelings we have after Christmas point to the fact that we have not been fully redeemed. Our bodies are still waiting for that final transformation.

[We] also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. – Romans 8:23b CSB

What I am saying, brothers and sisters, is this: Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor can corruption inherit incorruption. Listen, I am telling you a mystery: We will not all fall asleep, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we will be changed. For this corruptible body must be clothed with incorruptibility, and this mortal body must be clothed with immortality. – 1 Corinthians 15:50-53 CSB

What does this have to do with “after Christmas“?

Celebrating Christmas has completely worn me out. I’m tired of carols, smiles, joy, and jingle bells… even eggnog. I need a break.

So, just imagine how difficult it would be to survive heaven for more than a day or two?

Not only will we need new bodies that never grow old, get weak, and want to go to bed before sundown, but we will need to be set free from all the chains of this mortal flesh – everything that turns an elf into a Grinch around December 26th or 27th.

Our corruptible minds and bodies must be exchanged for that which is incorruptible, else we won’t be able to endure the celebration that is to come.

Without being changed, heaven would be full of worn-out billion-year-olds leaving the dirty dishes for the angels to deal with.

Heaven will be a celebration of the Redeemer by the redeemed. If the corruptible got in, it wouldn’t be long before they felt like hell.

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Filed under Apologetics, Christmas, clothing, salvation, the future, worship

10 Black Friday (and Cyber Monday) Suggestions

From whence come wars and fighting? Or, to put it another way, “Why do you people keep fighting and killing each other?” Well, according to the 4th chapter of James, it’s because we want things we never ask for.

That got me to thinking…(work with me on this, OK?).

A lot of you will be out early on Friday morning looking for the best deals, and then you’ll be online come Cyber Monday for even more. Therefore, for the sake of local and world peace, I think it would be a good idea for me to do my part in breaking the cycle of hatred, envy and violence by giving you a list of things you can purchase for me while you’re shopping.

I have not, so I’m asking. It’s all for peace.

  1. An iPad Pro with a pencil so I can easily do all my own illustrations for my stories.
  2. A new guitar. It could be a Marin, Guild, or Taylor; I’m not too picky. My daughter claimed my vintage 1980’s Takamine and my Yamaha is a cheaper unit with a broken tuner.
  3. A car for my daughter, Katie (whenever she’s allowed by the doctors to drive again). Her’s is dead and we can’t afford another one right now.
  4. A new iPhone XR. Why not? My iPhone 7 has been working fine, but I’d love to play with the new hardware.
  5. A decent, used Ford police interceptor (police car). They are workhorses that last forever, get decent mileage, run like a scalded dog, have awesome suspension, and can take a bullet in the door (unlike normal cars). And, you can get one for less than $1,500.
  6. A table saw and bench. I’ve got a project to build for my wife for Christmas.
  7. A trip to Israel, or at least a mission trip to Jamaica.
  8. A couple of new suits and ties (been wearing the same ones for the last 8+ years, and I’m doing a lot more weddings). Joseph A. Bank is always running a sale of some kind.
  9. Dental implants. I’m running out of good chewing teeth.
  10. A few invitations to conduct revival services.

There you have it! That’s my list of things I’m asking for.

At least I asked, right?  

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Filed under Christmas, clothing, current events, Humor

Happy Birthday to Me!

Starting Over

Today is my birthday! I’m excited.

Actually, I’m not as excited as I was last night, because last night was when we actually celebrated my birthday. Today I just got older.

Well, that’s not completely true. You see, my wife and daughters baked a cake for me and decorated it, but the only candles we had were a “1” and a “2.” Even if we had had 51 little candles, I would have hated blowing them out! And they would have melted the icing!

So, I decided the “1” candle would work (I had to blow out something), and that made me think…instead of turning 51, I’m starting over!

Now, if I could only live to my 20’s or 30’s I’ll be in good shape 😉

Birthday Gifts

Last night my family presented me with a few gifts, and I was very pleased. Each one was evidence they had really thought about me, for each one took some thought.

And that’s the way gifts should be, you know? Gifts should give the impression you care, not that you were fulfilling an obligation.

But if money and reality were no object, I would like to add the following to my birthday present list. If any of you out there would like to check any of them off, be my guest 🙂

  1. One of those really nice, calfskin-covered, high-dollar new Bibles. You know, something like an Allen or a Cambridge with a wider margin for making my own notes.
  2. A couple of new suits that actually fit.
  3. A Breitling watch.
  4. An iPad pro.
  5. A ride in a WW2-era bomber or fighter.
  6. To drive an exotic supercar, like a Cobra, Ferrari, or Porche 911 turbo. A Dodge Demon, 2019 Mustang GT, 2018 Corvette would be nice, too.
  7. A trip to the holy land.
  8. Another mission trip either to eastern Europe or Africa.
  9. A Gen4 Glock
  10. A trip to Washington, DC, to see the new Bible Museum.

But the love of my family is worth more than any of the items on my list. Sure, the things on the list would be really cool, but I’m infinitely blessed beyond measure to have a loving wife and 3 daughters who love the Lord.

Happy birthday to me!

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Filed under clothing, Family, Vacation

You Might Be a Sinner If…

I’m Sort of a Redneck

Yes, I confess. I am a redneck, especially considering how burned my neck is after standing out in the sun for five+ hours. Which leads me to ask a question of myself…why do I never remember sun screen unless I go to a beach?

And I also know that I am a redneck because Jeff Foxworthy told me so. If you remember, Foxworthy’s comic routine made famous the line, “You might be a redneck.” Here are some that I know have applied to me at least once over the 45 years of my life (as of tomorrow, the 17th).

I prefer old trucks to new ones. (No, this one’s not mine)

You might be a redneck if…

  • You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
  • Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.
  • The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
  • Directions to your house include “Turn off the  paved road.”
  • Going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a  flashlight.
  • You use the term “over yonder” more than once a month.

I’m a Sinner

Unlike a whole lot of people in this world (and in a world of their own), I can admit that I am a sinner. The only difference is that once I confessed my inability to change my nature, I traded my “filthy rags” for the imputed righteousness of Jesus Christ (Philippians 3:9). Now, I’m still a sinner, but I’m am a saved sinner.

So, based on the actions of Adam and Eve in the third chapter of Genesis, I took a cue from Jeff Foxworthy and came up with my own list of “you might be’s.” From that list I preached a message entitled “You Might Be a Sinner If…

You might be a sinner if…

  •   You have ever talked to a Serpent – and taken its advice (v. 2).
  •   You know the difference between “Naked” and “Necked” (v. 7). Side Note: If you consider fig leaves appropriate attire, you might be a sinner.
  •  You feel like running when the law shows up (v. 8).
  •  God is searching for you, and not the other way around (v. 9).
  •  You feel self-conscious or defensive about anything you’ve ever done (v. 9-10).
  •  You ever play the “blame game” – Others, “The devil made me do it” (v. 11-13).
  •  You were born (Romans 5:12).

Change of Status

Some people try on their own to change their status in life. Sometimes rednecks move away from Redneckville in order to become a different person. But what they find out is that Redneckville never left their heart. They still have those same desires to grill Spam and fish with dynamite.

In the same way, many people think, once they finally realize they are sinners, that change can come with a simple change of atmosphere, or the turning over of a new fig leaf.

The fact is that sinners don’t become “saints” on their own. It takes outside intervention.

If we confess with our sins, he is faithful to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9

So, what are you? 

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Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, clothing, Humor, Preaching, salvation, self-worth

Helping Me Lose Weight 5/11/17

Let’s get serious…

It’s 5/11 and yesterday I picked up my new 5-11 tactical uniform pants (for the Sheriff’s Office – I’m a chaplain). They are a size 36 waist, and they barely fit. 

On top of that, my new uniform shirt, which is an XL, fits ok, but I still need to wear a vest underneath. But I have a beer gut, just without the beer.


This morning I weighed myself after my shower… 222.4 pounds. 222.4! 

Now it’s 7:04 a.m., I’m in between bus routes, and I can’t tell you how much I want to go inside and get a cup of coffee and a honey bun!! 

You guys have GOT to give me some encouragement! 

I’m too much of a man to look pregnant! 

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Filed under clothing, fitness, Food

Size Shaming? Or Just a Lie?

Ticked Teen

Colossians 3:21 (KJV) says, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Therefore, unless absolutely necessary, I try not to make my youngest daughter, Haley, mad at me.

Not only do I not want to see her discouraged, but she has a grudge-holding characteristic comparable to an elephant with an attitude – she never forgets, so neither will the offender. Maybe it’s just a female thing.

Anyway, Haley would be upset with me if I didn’t follow through with a promise: a promise to write about the craziness of the same size of clothing being labeled as different sizes. Here’s the post, Haley…I’m writing it.

4 Pants, 4 Sizes

Haley came into the office area where I was sitting at my computer. Draped over her arm were four garments; each one was a pair of pants, all the same length, and all having the same circumference around the waist. Man (or woman), was she ticked.

“Would you look at this!” she huffed. “Why do they do this?” she asked. At that point she held up the four pair of pants, waist to waste, and then asked, “Do these look any different?” Well, honestly, to my male-chromosomed ocular orbs they looked exactly the same, which worried me. Should I answer, or not?

“Well,” I began cautiously, “they all do look to be the same size, I suppose.”

“Exactly,” Haley replied, “but now look at this!” She then proceeded to show me the various tags attached to the inside of each garment, and I’ll be dang if every one was different!

Haley was frustrated, and I can understand why. Let’s just say somebody asked what size of pants a guy wears. If he answered “36,” you could go to just about any clothing store and find a pair of jeans, size 36, and the waist circumference would be comparable to any other brand or make of pants for men in the same size. For guys a 36 is a 36, end of story.

Not so for women’s clothing. Why is that?

Perception is Reality…Change the sizes! 

As best as I can surmise, women don’t like to be called “fat.” Therefore, the larger the number attached to the size of a garment, the lower the self-esteem, especially when asked what size she wears.

When I asked my wife about this, she informed me that women’s sizes today are a lot larger, but the numbers have stayed the same. In other words, if we were to compare a size 8 from today to a size 8 from 20 years ago, we would find today’s size 8 a lot bigger than the 8’s of the past.

To put it another way, if it makes you feel fat to wear a size 24, then fitting into a size 12 will make you feel like you’ve lost 150 lbs. It’s all about perception.

One big problem with this kind of thinking, however, is that no matter how often you redefine something, the objective standard of the bathroom scale never changes. 

And neither does God’s Word. 

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Filed under clothing, General Observations, Relationships and Family, World View