Category Archives: Uncategorized

by | December 5, 2012 · 1:50 pm

Eye of the Beholder

A Beholder, I Am

Master Yoda, when you were stuck away in the swamp for hundreds of years, did your sense for what you considered beautiful change? I mean, with no more Yodettes around, did you ever start thinking the slimy, green critters crawling on Luke’s half-drowned X-Wing were beginning to look like wife material? Wondering, I was just.

You see, here on this earth I am beginning to wonder if my sense of beauty is being affected. As I behold what so many others consider the definition of beautiful, I fear my eyes are being damaged beyond repair!

Danged if You do, and So Forth

Women are always wanting men to think they are beautiful. Rarely do they try to excite our gag reflexes. Yet, on the other hand, when we do express our opinions we are attacked for being “male.”

Most of the time women are trying to get us in trouble by asking, “How does this dress that I don’t like make me look?” But more recently women seem to be dressing in such awfully disgusting ways, all the while still demanding that we say, “Oh sweetie, you look beautiful! That nostril necklace accents your lip stud perfectly!” God help us if we every ask, “what were you thinking?”

Our only option is to judge them fit for beholder consumption without making a judgment.

Real-World Beauty Pageant

I guess I would really like to be a real-world beauty pageant judge – similar to those who determine the predetermined winners of other beauty pageants. I could be paid to walk around shopping malls and discount stores looking to hand out trophies for “Best Dressed on Isle 9,” or “Most Modest in a Hurricane.” I could even give away prizes to single moms who kept their mascara from running while in Toys-R-Us.

Women exhibiting any of the following would be automatically expelled from the competition and fined (in dollars, cigarettes, or whatever was most valuable to them).

  • womanSpandex or Sweat Pants outside of a gym
  • Tube tops…including sweat pants pulled up high enough to replace a tube top
  • Spiked hair, especially if tipped with any color not included in a natural rainbow
  • Any item of clothing with PINK written on it
  • Any tattoo that says, Sexy, Hot, or Boy Toy
  • Exposed flesh that hangs beneath the bottom of a full-lenght t-shirt
  • Enough piercings to tenderize a 16 oz. steak
  • Or, any exposed undergarments, such as pink bra straps, thongs, etc.

True Beauty

However, fortunately for everyone, I am not a beauty judge (aren’t you glad?) On the other hand, I do have eyes, which does makes me a beholder. Until I go totally blind…well…some people are just going to make my eyes hurt. And that’s OK.

TRUE beauty can only be found within. Outward appearances can only reflect what is inside, at best. Real beauty is determined by a woman’s heart and actions.

“A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.” – Prov. 11:22 NLT

But beware men, even women who appear beautiful on the outside may turn out to be one of Yoda’s “girlfriends”.

“Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;” – Proverbs 6:25 ESV

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30 ESV

So, Master Yoda, is it that stranger things are becoming more accepted, and therefore judged to be more beautiful, or are we just getting used to the swamp?

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by | November 30, 2012 · 7:06 pm

Don’t Be Gullible

Don’t Be Gullible.

Starving BloggerIf you have never been to my other blog, Proverbial Thought, today would be a good day to start reading it.

Today’s post has to do with Proverbs 14:15. There I tell a couple of stories that I have told in the past. Stories you might find funny.

While you are there, please check out the other authors’ works. Every day since April of this year we have been commenting on a different proverb.

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by | November 20, 2012 · 6:00 am

Legalism and Responsibility in the Light of a Tragedy

Legalism Revisited

Legalism is more than a list of do’s and don’ts. It’s a way of thinking.

Legalism assumes that rules and regulations – laws – can make all the difference in the world, alleviating the fear of what happens when people are accountable for themselves. It is commonly assumed that with more laws in place people will get into less trouble. The problem is that even if a man had a rule and regulation for every area of life, he would still be responsible for his own actions.

Therefore, when someone acts responsibly in an atmosphere of loose regulation, he not only shows maturity and wisdom, but lives can be saved. Sadly, legalism and a lack of personal responsibility are at the heart of today’s story.

A Horrible Tragedy

On October 17 a tragedy took place. It was the kind of tragedy that should pull at the heart strings of every human being. An Egyptian school bus carrying approximately 60 children was hit by a train. Most of the children, ages 4-8, and two adults were killed instantly.

News reports seem to have place the blame on many people, ranging from the sleeping crossing guard to the head of the railway. News agencies from around the world keep mentioning how poor the safety records are in Egypt, each pointing out the need for more laws and greater reform.

But what saddens me is that not one news story that I have read held the bus driver responsible. In my opinion, that is where the real responsibility lay.

Speaking from Experience

As a professional school bus driver I can testify that America has plenty of laws in place regarding school bus safety, especially regarding railway crossings. But no amount of laws can make a driver stop at every railroad crossing, look in both directions at least twice, and open both doors and windows to listen for any sound of an approaching train. Even with all the laws that are in place, there are still accidents. It is always, always the responsibility of the driver to watch for danger.

Even if everyone in the country of Egypt had neglected their duties, the driver of the doomed school bus should have never crossed those tracks, whether there were working signals, or not. Flashing lights and crossing arms fail. The bus driver should have never crossed a track without being positive a train was not approaching.

It is possible that the driver saw the train and assumed that it was a safe distance away. It is possible that, when he saw no crossing arms down, he assumed the train was going slowly, if not stopped. The laws may have permitted the driver to cross the tracks if he thought the train was a safe distance away. The problem is that the speed of an approaching train is nearly impossible to determine. If he saw the train, he should have never crossed the tracks.

A Better Law

In my opinion, the buck stops with the driver. He (or she) was the one ultimately responsible for the safety of his priceless cargo. He made the decision to unwisely cross the track, despite any law that may or may not have been in place, and he paid the price.

Legalism sets up laws for us to follow. It does it’s best to guard us against every foreseeable circumstance. But no law can replace responsibility. No law can guide us better than a pure conscience. No written law, however well-intentioned, can replace the law of God written on the heart transformed by the Spirit (Ps. 40:8; Jer. 31:33; Rom. 8:3-5).

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by | November 19, 2012 · 12:30 am

My Top Posts (A Stolen Idea)

Not an Original

I am an original work of art (some just call me a “piece of work“). This post, on the other hand, is not an original idea, but one I am stealing from a fellow blogger, Chris Jordan.

Several days ago Chris wrote The Top 10 Posts on New Life. I said to myself, “Self, you should do something like that.”

Top 10

Below are the top 10 most-viewed posts on The Recovering Legalist. You may be new to this blog, so take a moment and scan the titles. There may be something there worth sharing with everyone else in the world.

Make me famous and I’ll buy you a cookie.

  1. What to Wear to Church (People do wonder, you know)
  2. Appetite for Comfort (The post that made Freshly Pressed)
  3. Dinosaur Bones Found On the Moon (Some people still take this seriously)
  4. Recovering Legalist Meets Building 429 (I acted like the legalist I don’t want to be)
  5. Even a Trash Can (God can use anything)
  6. Prostitots? (My daughters are not)
  7. Does Divorce Disqualify? (My take on a serious issue)
  8. Why Be a Legalist? (Why, I ask you?)
  9. Was John R. Rice a Heretic? (A post about Bible translations)
  10. My Take on Chick-fil-A (Don’t be a hater; it’s just my opinion)

Honorable Mentions

None of my “Monday Monkey” videos made it into the Top Ten. That makes me sad. Therefore, let me recommend a few of my favorites.

I have also done several series on The Recovering Legalist. Here is a selection of a few favorites from the archives.

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by | November 14, 2012 · 5:57 pm

Walking or Riding?

A Familiar Story

If you are familiar with the Bible, you probably remember the story of Jesus walking on the water. And if you remember that, you may also recall that the apostle Peter was the one who walked on the water with Jesus – until he began to look around.

But if you don’t remember the story, here it is as found in the NIV version of Matthew 14:25-33.

During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified.

“It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Familiar Pictures

Now that you are familiar with the story, have you ever seen paintings or illustrations depicting this passage of Scripture? Of all the ones I have ever seen, Jesus is usually portrayed as a calm, sad-looking, and often effeminate water-stroller. Peter is always some scruffy-looking, heavy-as-stone fraidy-cat.

Then what about those waves? In all the depictions of this story, how high are the waves? Usually they are no more than just a few inches high around the Lord and his bobbing disciple, Peter.

Well, I am here to challenge the common perception based on these fallacious (that means stupidly wrong) paintings.

The Waves

I am not a seafaring man like my friend David Welford, but I would bet even he would say that 6-8 inch waves would have been NO problem for some experienced fishermen. What ever frightened Peter, once he looked around, had to have been more than a ripple on the surface.

Consider how the Bible described what was happening to the boat in Matthew 14:24: “But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.” Do kiddie pool waves toss a boat? No, but real waves do.

In stead of tossed, other translations use words like buffeted, beaten, and battered. The New Living Translation says that “a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves.” It would seem to me that the disciples were facing a life-or-death struggle, not inconvenient weather.

The Wacky Request

People often belittle Peter for his “lack of faith.” They think less of him because he took his eyes off of Jesus and began to sink. But who on this earth that is not currently on anti-psychotic medication would actually ask a UWG (Unidentified Walking Ghost), “If it is you, compel me to do something totally irrational and dangerous, OK?” What kind of crazy question was that?

I believe there is more to this story than we have been told. Why didn’t Peter just ask Jesus to come a little closer? Why not just ask Him to get in the boat and take a load off? What would have caused Peter to think of leaving the boat?

Maybe, just maybe, what Jesus was doing looked like fun.

Wave Riding

The next time you look out over a stormy sea capable of sinking a boat, try to find the smooth spots. The paintings that show the Savior walking delicately over glassy H2o in the middle of a gale are unrealistic.

My guess is that Jesus was doing more than simply walking. He was having fun. He was probably surfing without a board. It is possible that He was going up and down…up and down…up and down…smiling the whole time. That’s when Peter said, “If it is you, Lord, tell me to come out there with you…that looks like fun!”

Seriously, just stop and think about it. Here was a storm that was beating up a boat and wearing out the crew; waves that were anything but small; a boat full of panicking people; and a Man walking on water. Peter must have concluded that if there was going to be any place to be, it was with Jesus, riding the waves.

With Jesus

We can’t help the fact that storms come. But if there is any lesson to be learned from this story it is that the worst possible place to be can be the safest and most peaceful, as long as our eyes are on Jesus and we are walking with Him.

Does it make sense? No. Is it irrational? Maybe. But as long as we have our faith in Jesus, we can ride atop the tallest tsunami, admiring the view.

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by | November 12, 2012 · 11:23 pm

Oh No, Elmo!

Breaking Newsmo

Today it was announced that the man who gives Elmo life has been accused of having sexual relations with a 16-year-old boy. In light of these accusations Kevin Clash has taken a leave of absence to work on his defense (you can read the TMZ article here). Mr. Clash does not deny having sex with the boy; he just denies that the boy was underage when the relationship took place.

Considering what happened to the Pee-wee Herman character created and performed by Paul Reubens, what will be the future of Elmo? Sesame Street Workshop told TMZ that “Elmo is bigger than any one person and will continue to be an integral part of Sesame Street to engage, educate and inspire children around the world.” Really?

Never Be the Samemo

Until this news story came out, it is probable that few people ever heard of Kevin Clash. Certainly most of the children of the world never associate a human being with what goes on inside of that red, polyester fur. Nevertheless, even if Elmo the puppet continues to work on Sesame Street without Clash, some things will never be the same.

The Voice. Who will replace the voice of Elmo should Kevin Clash don an orange jumpsuit? Will Elmo sound the same? They could bring in a replacement actor for a little while, I suppose; just long enough for Mr. Clash to get fitted for his monitoring device. If so, I have a few suggestions…

How about Jeff Dunham, creator of Achmed the Dead Terrorist? Could you imagine Elmo saying, “Today’s episode is brought to you by the letter ‘Q’….Quiet! …I KEEEL YOU!”

Or, James Earl Jones (Darth Vader) could do a guest appearance (voice only) in a scene where Elmo tells his gold fish, “Dorothy, I am your father.” One thing is for sure, hearing Jones’ laugh would not be as annoying as a Tickle Me Elmo doll that won’t turn off.

Joel Osteen would be the best choice. Dialated pupils…rosy complexion…happy voice. All that would be needed for a complete character makeover would be a perfect set of teeth (and a golden globe in ever episode of Elmo’s World).

The Toys. After this I will never be able to play with a Tickle Me Elmo, Scratch Me Elmo, or Dance in the Dark With Me Elmo doll ever again. Every time I here “Elmo loves you” I will feel compelled to wonder about his intentions.

On the other hand, maybe Sesame Street could turn this into a teaching opportunity? By next Christmas they could unveil a Track Me Elmo, complete with ankle bracelet and parole officer badge for the owner. With the free, downloadable smartphone app, every time the doll got too close to a daycare, school, or friend’s house the ankle bracelet would sent a message to the child’s phone. Cool idea, huh?

In Danger of Helmo

I certainly hope that Elmo’s skeleton is innocent of all charges. I also hope that the father and role model who fills the fuzzy embodiment of sweetness and childlike innocence will not cause any harm to his little fans. But if he is guilty, I would hate to be in his Elmo slippers.

Jesus said, “It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble” (Luke 17:2 NASB). The end result of all this might not be too funny.

Seriously, pray for Kevin Clash. And pray for all involved in this sad story.

(Update, 11/15/12) Accuser retracts statement…

“He wants it to be known that his sexual relationship with Mr. Clash was an adult consensual relationship,” the statement read. “He will have no further comment on the matter.”
Read more: (Click Here)

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by | November 9, 2012 · 9:17 am

Reverse-Racism and Legalism

Have You Heard?

Unless you live under a rock or play video games all day while your mom does your laundry and pays your bills, you are probably aware that there was an election held in the United States. And unless you are so “spiritual” that you could care less who leads the nation in which you live, you are probably aware that Barack Obama was elected to a second term.

That being said, I thought I would share with you what happened on Wednesday morning, the day after the election.

Elementary Conclusions

If you do not already know, I drive a school bus in the mornings and afternoons to supplement my income as a bi-vocational pastor. The students I transport range in age from 5 to 18.

On Wednesday morning, after transporting the older students to school, I stopped to pick up my first elementary students. At 7:41 a.m. the first three, two girls and one boy, got on the bus

As happened earlier in the morning with the middle and high school students, chants of “Obama won! Obama won!” rang out and echoed within the aluminum walls of my bus. It was like both young and old went to the same victory rally. Then, a sweet, little girl (I won’t mention her name) came up behind me as I was driving and excitedly asked,

“Did you know Obama won?”

“Yes, I know.”

“Who did you vote for, Mr. Baker?”

“I voted for Mr. Romney.”

“Ewwww! Boooooo! Why did you vote for Romney?”

“Why do you think I voted for Mitt Romney?” I asked.

“Because he was too white, that’s why.”

How insulting! She thought (assumed) that I voted for Romney because he looked like me.  Why would she think that? Whatever she believed is what she was taught at home. Whatever she thought of me was based on what she was told about all white people. What was I supposed to say?

I spoke the truth. “[Little girl],” I said, “that was a very racist statement.”

Alive and Well

Sadly, after all the progress that has been made in this great nation, racism is still alive and well, but not in the form people want to admit. Reverse-racism is just as much racism as any other kind, but few recognize it, and fewer condemn it.

Wednesday morning I was essentially labeled a bigot because I voted for a candidate that was the same race as me. If that was true, then what does it say about those of a different color who voted for the candidate that looked like them? Are they bigots, too?

Believe it or not, legalism and this story have a lot in common. Legalism assumes the thoughts and intentions of another based on outward appearances and man-made teachings. Reverse-racism, at least in my case, assumed my intentions because of my skin color. Now, what was it that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said?

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.…[1]

Legalism ignores the “content of one’s character” as long as outward appearances don’t match a pre-determined template for holiness, while reverse-racism disqualifies legitimate concern and silences those who would speak out.

Both legalism and reverse-racism tend to cause people to act out of fear, rather than conviction. Both steal a person’s God-given freedom to think.

Both are wrong.

[1] William J. Federer, Great Quotations: A Collection of Passages, Phrases, and Quotations Influencing Early and Modern World History Referenced According to Their Sources in Literature, Memoirs, Letters, Governmental Documents, Speeches, Charters, Court Decisions and Constitutions (St. Louis, MO: AmeriSearch, 2001).

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by | November 1, 2012 · 12:30 am

Packing Heat?

In Harm’s Way

Pastor Danny Kirk, Sr., and family.

This week another pastor died. But he didn’t die from a heart attack, cancer, or just plain old age. He didn’t even die in an accident on some busy highway. No, Danny Kirk was beaten to death with an electric guitar in the sanctuary of the church he founded 18 years ago. (Click here for the full story)

Of course, this wasn’t the first pastor to die at the hands of an assailant. This wasn’t the first to die in a church building, either. No, there have been others. They have been shot, beaten, and stabbed. One was even found naked and spread-eagle in front of the altar, mutilated.

I’ve Seen It

When I was only in second grade (1973) my dad, a pastor, was threatened by those who wanted to physically remove him from the pulpit. They were stopped by a Marine who had just returned from Vietnam.

One time a man threatened to come shoot my dad at church. He had already shot at our house. Fortunately, some other men of the church found out. They stood around the church, armed with pistols under their coats. He came…and he left.

But it seems like attacks on ministers are becoming more frequent here in America. In other countries Christians are regularly mistreated, assaulted, and even killed. But here in this country, it is pastors that are being targeted. Why that is happening is up for debate. The question I am posing is whether or not a pastor should carry a weapon.

False Expectations

For the longest time people have thought that preachers, pastors, ministers, priests, etc., should be mild and mannerly…peaceful and placid…always turning the other cheek. Somehow, because of the Romantic perception of a wimpy, mamma’s boy of a Jesus, people think that His servants should be softies. They forget it was Jesus who vacated the temple with a whip (not something your average 90 lb. girly-man would do).

And when it comes to being attacked, there is this notion among many that the Christian, especially the minister, should not try to defend himself, just “turn the other cheek.” They think that true faith dictates we lower our hands and let God fight our battles for us.

I actually heard a man defend passivity to the extreme. When asked what he would do if a criminal attacked his wife or children, he said, “If it is God’s will they die, then I am not going to stand in His way. His will be done.” I wanted to beat the guy myself! What kind of insanity is that? To stand and watch your family be molested because you think it is wrong to defend yourself?

God-Given Sense

Friends, God gave us brains. He also gives the believer the Holy Spirit. If you have both, then it should be pretty simple to discern that a man (or woman) has a responsibility to defend his loved ones, as well as himself. Even Jesus understood that there are times when we need to protect what is in our care. He said, “When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are in peace” (Luke 11:21 NKJV). How much more should we guard our own lives?

And what about the idea of being a good shepherd? What kind of shepherd would have allowed wolves, bears, and lions to come and carry away his sheep? What did David do to the bear and lion (1 Samuel 17:36)? Was it not his duty to protect his sheep?

What if a gunman entered the church? Where does Scripture say that the only option is to stand (or cower under a pew) and pray that he will see the error of his ways, lay down his AK-47, then take communion? What would David do?

My Thoughts

This is how I see it. God is my strong tower (Ps. 61:3) and my shield, my fortress in time of trouble (Ps. 144:2). He is also the One who led Nehemiah to set guards as the wall around Jerusalem was being rebuilt. As a pastor, I believe that God has called me to a “great work” from which “I cannot come down” (Neh. 6:3). Therefore, I will keep in mind the instruction Nehemiah gave those who labored…

“Nevertheless we made our prayer unto our God, and set a watch against them day and night, because of them. … Therefore set I in the lower places behind the wall, and on the higher places, I even set the people after their families with their swords, their spears, and their bows. And I looked, and rose up, and said unto the nobles, and to the rulers, and to the rest of the people, Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses. … They which builded on the wall, and they that bare burdens, with those that laded, every one with one of his hands wrought in the work, and with the other hand held a weapon. For the builders, every one had his sword girded by his side, and so builded. And he that sounded the trumpet was by me.” – Nehemiah 4:9, 13-14, 17-18 KJV

I see nothing wrong with a modern-day wall builder having a modern-day weapon “girded” to his side.

What would you do if attacked? Would you defend your loved ones?

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by | October 23, 2012 · 7:14 pm

Wouldn’t You Take Him Home?

Tear Jerkers

Frequently I see posts/pictures on Facebook that are really meant to make one cry. And many times the tears are supposed to make one want to do something, like give to a charity, hug a tree, or feed the hungry.

Now, look at the picture to the right. Here you have a grown dog sitting in the middle of a street getting soaked in the rain. I don’t know who took the picture, but the title of the Facebook post was something like, “Wouldn’t you take him home?”

That got me to thinking about some things. Can I share them with you?

  • Go ahead, go up to the dog. I bet it’ll snap your hand off at the wrist.
  • Have you ever wondered why a grown dog has chosen to just sit in the rain?
  • If the dog was smart enough to fetch your slippers, don’t you think it could have found something to hide under?
  • It the dog is so stupid that it can’t get out of the rain, then do you really want it in your home?
  • Is it possible that he simply wants to be left alone because his girlfriend left him for a Doberman? If that is true, refer back to the first point.

An Old Dog

Looking at this dog sitting in the rain also got me to thinking about some other things. For instance, why don’t we think about old men that way? Let’s just say that dog in the road is 5 or 6 years old – that would make him what, 30 or 40 in human years? Would you look at a drug addict lying in the rain and ask, “Wouldn’t you take him home?”

No, a grown man has made his choices, right? He should be left in the rain, or on the side of the road bleeding. It’s one thing to help a dirty dog, but a stranger? Get real, right? I mean, who does that kind of thing? A good Samaritan?

Isn’t that strange? Why is it that we would be more likely to cry a tear over an old dog than a man? A mother’s child?

What About These?

And then I remembered this picture. It is not of a dog in the rain, or a cat in a kennel, or a puppy in the pound; it’s just a bunch of orphans.

Back in 1992 I had the rare privilege to visit a Romanian orphanage. The children did not know why we were there, but they were excited. It wasn’t often that strangers were allowed in, especially after a 1990 news story on ABC’s 20/20.  They stood lined against a wall…waiting.

Wouldn’t you take one home? Don’t you know what happens to orphans in places like this, especially after they “graduate” at age 18?

Misplaced Sorrow

It is only my opinion, but I think we should worry less about animals in the rain and more about humans living in drains. I’ll never forget a story I saw about children living in the sewage drains of Kenyan cities. They would sniff glue at night, not for fun, but to keep from feeling the pain of hunger. That should make us cry.

“For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'” – Matthew 25:35-40 NLT

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by | October 16, 2012 · 5:59 pm

“Freshly Pressed” High, then Reality

Woo Hoo!

I was so thrilled when I was told this blog was going to be featured on “Freshly Pressed.” I was literally ecstatic (well, let me make sure of the definition – a trance-like state of joy or delight – OK, that’s good), really I was.

Just the thought that this wee widdle bwog was chosen out of so many thousands was mind blowing. It was better than when I got the Perfect Attendence Award in 3rd grade! Or was it 4th grade? Or was it the spelling bee?

Anyway, on October 1st my recorded views gradually climbed and climbed, peaking out at 942 by midnight. Wow! Never in one day has so many people come to read anything I had ever written. Wow!

Woo!

Then October 2nd came. Wow! Several hundred views in one day. Not too bad, little camper!

And then all the other days came…and went…with gradually declining numbers. It was like watching Enron‘s stock prices fall. It was like I was watching my stats try to break the sound barrier after leaping from a record height.

But it was all right. I knew that going in. I knew there were no promises that I would become an award-winning blogger overnight, all because of some silly award-like gift from the blogging mega-minds at WordPress. I mean, after all, I did get a few followers and a whole lot of “likes” (to which I have not yet finished replying – sorry).

Oh Hooey!

No, the real problem was that once the initial high was over, I had to face reality. Only 1000 views in a day? Are you kidding? I was excited about nearly 1000 views in a day?

Do you realize that there are blogs out there that receive tens of thousands of views a day? Let me spell that out – Tee Eee Enn Thous Ain’t Nothin’. Whatever.

If getting thousands of views a day means I  have to become another Perez Hilton, forget it.

Oh Hey!

Thanks, though, for all of you who regularly stop by to read my nonsense. You are appreciated. All 15 of you.

Now back to writing about stuff that matters. My wife just told me, “You keep writing stuff like that, and if it were me, I would quit coming back to see what you wrote – all that ‘just to write‘ stuff doesn’t interest me. Just saying.”

Next Topic: How NOT to Encourage Your Spouse

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