Tag Archives: Sesame Street

Just Write

One thing that I have heard over and over again from experienced writers is, “Just write.” When asked how to become a better writer, they say, “Just write.” When asked, “What if I don’t know what to write about today?”, they say, “Just write.”

Okie Dokie.

There once was a blubber named Blue who went to the ocean blue – who knew? He went there all scared, then came back prepared to marry a rubber rain shoe.

So, what’s all this stuff about North Korea? I think their leader actually believes the propaganda he heard as a child. Either that, or he has been affected by lead poisoning leaching from the medals of his generals.

I think that bullies are victims, too. Seriously! I read a meme posted by somebody on Facebook that blasted others for making fun of people. Well, when you bash bullies, remember that they are only scared, insecure, babies in big-boy clothes. They need love, too.

Have I ever told you that I hate the word “meme” almost as much as cottage cheese?

I have learned in my last semester of seminary that I am just as intelligent as my professors and most of the authors of my text books. No joke. I’m just not as well educated.

I broke my glasses this week, so I had to pull out an old pair with an older prescription. Until I can get some new ones I am wearing this pair with a broken ear piece put back together with a steel-like puddy. It’s not been too bad, though. Now I look like the nerd I never was. Maybe I’ll score an IT job making $150K a year!

There comes a time in every preacher’s life, especially one who preaches three times a week, when he asks the question: “What in the world am I going to preach on this Sunday?” Imagine being enrolled in a never-ending speech class!

I don’t mind when I snore.

Don’t you hate it when the weather is cold in the morning but hot as the Sahara in the afternoon? One has to start off the day in a parka, but end it in shorts and a t-shirt. It gets bad when you forget to check the forecast and end up later in the day wearing a flannel shirt and no deodorant.

It has been determined that I will never be a Calvinist.

I never liked Elmo on Sesame Street. Grover was my hero. I can even talk like him.

Kenya could use some of President Obama’s vacation money. I wonder if his daughters will go there on their next mission trip?

People are putting up gutters outside my window. I wonder that they are thinking as they look inside and see me sitting here, typing away like a professional writer? I bet they’re thinking, “Those blisters he has to get on his fingers must be painful, poor guy.”

Have a great Tuesday! 

Or, if you are reading this on another day of the week, have a great whatever that day is, too!

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Filed under General Observations, Humor

Oh No, Elmo!

Breaking Newsmo

Today it was announced that the man who gives Elmo life has been accused of having sexual relations with a 16-year-old boy. In light of these accusations Kevin Clash has taken a leave of absence to work on his defense (you can read the TMZ article here). Mr. Clash does not deny having sex with the boy; he just denies that the boy was underage when the relationship took place.

Considering what happened to the Pee-wee Herman character created and performed by Paul Reubens, what will be the future of Elmo? Sesame Street Workshop told TMZ that “Elmo is bigger than any one person and will continue to be an integral part of Sesame Street to engage, educate and inspire children around the world.” Really?

Never Be the Samemo

Until this news story came out, it is probable that few people ever heard of Kevin Clash. Certainly most of the children of the world never associate a human being with what goes on inside of that red, polyester fur. Nevertheless, even if Elmo the puppet continues to work on Sesame Street without Clash, some things will never be the same.

The Voice. Who will replace the voice of Elmo should Kevin Clash don an orange jumpsuit? Will Elmo sound the same? They could bring in a replacement actor for a little while, I suppose; just long enough for Mr. Clash to get fitted for his monitoring device. If so, I have a few suggestions…

How about Jeff Dunham, creator of Achmed the Dead Terrorist? Could you imagine Elmo saying, “Today’s episode is brought to you by the letter ‘Q’….Quiet! …I KEEEL YOU!”

Or, James Earl Jones (Darth Vader) could do a guest appearance (voice only) in a scene where Elmo tells his gold fish, “Dorothy, I am your father.” One thing is for sure, hearing Jones’ laugh would not be as annoying as a Tickle Me Elmo doll that won’t turn off.

Joel Osteen would be the best choice. Dialated pupils…rosy complexion…happy voice. All that would be needed for a complete character makeover would be a perfect set of teeth (and a golden globe in ever episode of Elmo’s World).

The Toys. After this I will never be able to play with a Tickle Me Elmo, Scratch Me Elmo, or Dance in the Dark With Me Elmo doll ever again. Every time I here “Elmo loves you” I will feel compelled to wonder about his intentions.

On the other hand, maybe Sesame Street could turn this into a teaching opportunity? By next Christmas they could unveil a Track Me Elmo, complete with ankle bracelet and parole officer badge for the owner. With the free, downloadable smartphone app, every time the doll got too close to a daycare, school, or friend’s house the ankle bracelet would sent a message to the child’s phone. Cool idea, huh?

In Danger of Helmo

I certainly hope that Elmo’s skeleton is innocent of all charges. I also hope that the father and role model who fills the fuzzy embodiment of sweetness and childlike innocence will not cause any harm to his little fans. But if he is guilty, I would hate to be in his Elmo slippers.

Jesus said, “It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble” (Luke 17:2 NASB). The end result of all this might not be too funny.

Seriously, pray for Kevin Clash. And pray for all involved in this sad story.

(Update, 11/15/12) Accuser retracts statement…

“He wants it to be known that his sexual relationship with Mr. Clash was an adult consensual relationship,” the statement read. “He will have no further comment on the matter.”
Read more: (Click Here)

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Filed under current events, General Observations, Uncategorized