It’s late in the day, but it is still Monday. So, why not a Monday Monkey episode?
Actually, this is a video I made for Christmas 2012 (I think). My wife, Valerie, should have gotten an Oscar for the “scream.”
I promise, more Monkey videos are on the way. Promise.
Filed under animals, Christmas, Humor, Monday Monkey, Relationships and Family
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, including all my friends and blog subscribers all over the world! For even though Thanksgiving is an American holiday, we all have reason to be thankful. After all, for most of us, things could be worse.
I am not going to go into detail and recount the history of the Pilgrims or the reasoning of George Washington’s proclamation. I am not going to talk turkey, Indians, or Sacajawea, either. If you want to read about all of those things, including the godly, religious heritage of our nation that the atheists and humanists are trying to sponge away, then take the time to visit other blogs which are carrying the torch of freedom.
Essentially, everyone should be thankful to God for his grace and mercy, no matter the country in which they live. Americans should be grateful for the rare freedoms we still have, despite the current administration’s attempt to presidentially-mandate them away. And on top of that, each of us should be thankful for health, shelter, food, and any family or friends we have.
But there are other reasons to be thankful…reasons you may have never thought of. Let me give you a few.
First of all, you all should be thankful you don’t have to dress up like an elf in order to pose for Christmas card pictures for your oldest daughter. As you can see, even though Lily and Henry are the cutest grand-dogs any man could have, there is a slight sense of humiliation being experienced by all.
Secondly, you could be thankful you are not a dog, especially a dog that is forced to dress up like a little Santa Clause.
Third, you should be thankful you do not have green hair. Even though my little dogs know me, and even though Lily and Henry like me, they don’t like men in green wigs.
Fourth, be thankful you are not an elf. Their big, pointy ears are hot, and the bells they wear can be distracting while preaching on Sunday.
If you don’t have any other reasons to be thankful on this day, then at least be thankful for the following:
“O give thanks unto the LORD; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people.” – Psalms 105:1
“Praise ye the LORD. O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.” – Psalms 106:1
Filed under America, animals, Christmas, Food, General Observations, Humor, Relationships and Family
“Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.”
“And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.” – Luke 18:11, 13
Imagine that instead of the temple, a Pharisee and a publican walked into a pastoral search committee meeting (like we have in the Baptist denomination). They walk in, introduce themselves, compare resumes, and one gets the job.
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Which one do you think would be hired? Answer (typically): The one that fits the picture of what every Christian fit for service should be – perfect.
But God doesn’t use perfect people; He uses REAL people. Yet sadly, within the church, there are many men and women who have felt inferior and useless because of sinful and broken pasts. They are the people who sit on the pews, week after week, doing all they can to be faithful in life, but are forbidden to hold positions in the church. They are much like the Publican, men and women who know they have failed before, but want to be forgiven and start new. They are not the ones that look down on others for mistakes they’ve made.
A while back I read through the book of Genesis in a couple of sittings. Reading a book of the Bible that way, especially in a different translation, can help you see the story from a new perspective. This time I was just astounded at how messed up these people really were! There was so much “stuff” going on that if it were today, it would make an episode of Jerry Springer look tame!
Consider, if nothing else, the sad story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel. This was a seriously messed up family with real marital problems. At one point, Leah and Rachel get into a jealous argument over a son’s mandrakes. Just imagine you were a marriage counselor and listened in to the following story…
Reuben went out during the wheat harvest and found some mandrakes in the field. When he brought them to his mother, Leah, Rachel asked, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.” But Leah replied to her, Isn’t it enough that you have taken my husband? Now you also want my son’s mandrakes?”
“Well,” Rachel said, “you can sleep with him tonight in exchange for your son’s mandrakes.” When Jacob came in from the field that evening, Leah went out to meet him and said, “You must come with me, for I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” So Jacob slept with her that night. – Geneses 30:14:16 HCSB
Check this out…
And there’s more!
It just goes on and on. Messed up, I am telling you! MESSED UP!
God told Abraham in Genesis 12:2-3: “And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.” How is this even possible?
If God can use Abraham and his family with all their problems to bless the nations, then He can use ANYBODY!
Here I am, 46 years into my trip toward room temperature, and I am still having to deal with girls’ emotions. I have been coming to terms with not understanding women, or at least knowing when to stay away when they feel like expressing their intelligence. And nearly 20 years of marriage has conditioned me for another 20 years of “whatever’s” and “yes dears.” So why now, after I have paid my dues, must I once again deal with teenage girls?
My dating years were not the best of years. My self esteem was irreparably scarred by the time one of my first dates asked me to drop her off early…in a parking lot…alone. Girls were like a fire to which I was drawn, and I was the helpless bug continually getting squashed. Therefore, since I am convinced teenage girls are hosts to alien invaders, why must I be forced to give aid and comfort to the enemy of mankind?
If I had to guess, part of the curse of the Fall was having to raise teenage girls. You can’t live with them, and you can’t ______ (you fill in the blank – I’m not going to incriminate myself) their boyfriends.
I was once a boyfriend, and I hated myself for it. That is why I think it is my responsibility to guide other young men away from my daughters. Being a boyfriend is the last thing they should want to be. Staying away is best thing they can do.
However, what I find troubling is the attempt my daughter is making to fool me. She insists that her friend, a boy, is not a boyfriend. Yet, whenever a letter comes in the mail (in between the 42,584 texts), she grins and squeals as she reads it over and over. She invites him over to bake for him on his birthday and have pictures made together with their cheeks touching each other’s goofy faces. Believe, where there is chocolate, followed by physical contact of any kind, I am not fooled.
So, tonight I made a comment that got Katie asking me all kinds of questions. In casual conversation, my so-far-alien-free daughter, Haley, asked, “When Katie and ____ (insert name or expletive, doesn’t matter) get married…” Excuse me?
That’s when I interrupted with, “She is not gonna marry _____.”
My single, unmarried, unspoken-for, and alien-inhabited daughter, Katie.
Later, when I was sitting at the computer, Katie came to kiss me goodnight and asked, “Why did you say I couldn’t marry ______ (insert name of endangered species)?”
Correct me if I am wrong, but was I not told that the non-boyfriend was just a friend? Then why would my statement about who she’s not going to marry be an issue? If my dad had told me I wasn’t going to marry my friend Kevin, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings one bit. So what’s the deal with endangered boy and daydreamer?
If she marries he-who-walks-on-thin-ice, then I’ll be forced to like him. Until then, what’s wrong with simply protecting a non-boyfriend from a danger he can’t understand? Who knows? If I spare him from being abducted by an alien, I might be the best friend the non-boyfriend boy friend could ever have.
He will thank me, later.
I don’t know what you know about fibromyalgia, but whatever it is, whatever causes it, my wife suffers terribly from it. Over the last several years it has robbed my wife of her ability to enjoy many things in life that we take for granted, like sitting, sleeping, getting dressed, washing one’s hair, or even being hugged.
So many people doubt fibromyalgia is real. They say that if it was a legitimate illness, then there would be clearly identifiable symptoms, specific medications or treatments that would work, and even a Jerry Lewis-like celebrity raising money for research. Unfortunately, the only real constant for my wife is pain, and all that comes with never getting relief.
Putting on a brave face is a daily occurrence. My wife was always the hard worker, the entrepreneur, and the aggravating “early riser” who would wake everyone else in the house with, “Thank you, Lord, for this fine day!” Now, her smile is for the encouragement of others who look to her as a pastor’s wife; but her family knows the truth: she spends much of her time in tears.
We have tried doctor after doctor, from local clinics to Vanderbilt. Tests of every kind have been run, yet all are inconclusive. The only diagnosis is fibromyalgia – and there is no cure. She has her better days, and her really bad days, but rarely are there good days. It would seem that this is a burden which we are destined to bear, that is, until God sees fit to lift it.
After a particular troubling doctor visit today, one who made all kinds of false assumptions and accusations, my dear wife decided she couldn’t handle much more. She wept. That is when I wrote the following poem.
Give Us Strength
I tend to wonder
About what I know
Or at least what I think I know
About pain, about grief
About the reason for no sleep
I tend to wonder
I tend to ask
The usual “whys?”
And I guess I know the “why”
But I doubt at times
When there’s no reason or rhyme
I tend to ask
I know the truth
But I tend to wonder
About the load she’s under
The pain without an end
I ask for answers, even when
I know the Truth
Give me strength
But give her more
Dry her tears; make mine pour
On my shoulders place her sorrow
And for the joy again tomorrow
Give us strength
I try to be funny on this blog. There are times I get angry, too. But right now I really want to ask all of you who pray to intercede for my wife, Valerie. Pray for her healing. Pray that I will know how to better encourage her. But pray, most of all, that through all that we endure God will receive the glory.
As both of us cry together and wonder why she has to go through this, I am reminded of our Savior who also cried in the garden and said: “Father, if it be your will, let this cup pass from me.” Our prayer is that this will pass.
But, Jesus also said, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done.” (Luke 22:42) Whatever tomorrow holds, to God be the glory!
“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV
Yes, it is my birthday. Gifts of all denominations (that means money, not Methodists) will be accepted. You can also send watches, old books, Martin guitars, Jaguars, Mustangs, autographed pictures of Ronald Reagan and Zoey Deschanel, and/or iPads.
Really, I am happy to be 46 years old, which is four years shy of half a century. Some people are older than me, but a lot are younger – many of which are stupid. Did I just say that? Yes, I did. It’s because I’m getting older and old people can say what they want.
In all seriousness, today is a day which I have been fearing for the last 22 years. When I was 24 my father died (coincidentally, he was 24 when his dad died). He was 46 years old. Now, on this momentous day, I am as old as he was when he went home to be with the Lord. Sobering, isn’t it?
My dad.
Even though it is sobering, if not a little depressing, the though of being as old as my dad was when he died has caused me to reflect on my life. It has also caused me to think more about my wife and children who, if they had been like me 22 years ago, would only have me around six months longer.
If I die this year – and I hope I don’t, believe me! – at least my wife and kids will have insurance money, a collection of recordings of me preaching and singing, and a lot of written words. However, they won’t have ME.
That is why I don’t drive as recklessly.
That is why I am thinking more about my diet.
That is why I am beginning to work out.
That is why my journal entries are becoming more pensive, thankful, and less gripey.
That is why I am trying to make sure I live the way I want to be remembered.
More than ever, I want to finish well.
Last week my wife and kids and I went to visit our daughter, Alicia, and her husband, Josh, in Charleston, South Carolina. Josh is in the Air Force and stationed in Charleston, so we stayed with them in their new house instead of a hotel.
We didn’t have a lot of money to spend, so we went sight-seeing in the historic district along the harbor, admiring all the old houses, sail boats, and numerous items for sail in the old market that stretched for blocks. If we had been wealthy, there were plenty of things we could have bought, especially the hand-made grass baskets that were sold all over the place.
Isle of Palms was only about a 45 minute drive from where we were staying, so another thing we did that was inexpensive was go to the beach. Playing in the sand, walking along the shore, and even splashing in the water (if one dares) is free.
One day while visiting the beach I walked out into the water and just stood there…thinking…imagining. What I should have been doing was getting some sun on my pale, suburban skin, but this day thinking was enough. What I thought about is what I want to share with you today and tomorrow.
Notice in the picture how that my lily-white legs are in the water, not on top. My feet are even sinking into the sand as the waves churn the current around me. What I am not doing is walking on the water.
One of the things I thought about while standing there was how cool it would have been to be like Jesus and Peter and walk on the water. It would have been so fun to just run out onto the swelling waves and ride them up and down instead of falling into them and fighting to survive. It would have been cool to stand on top of the water and not worry about what was underneath wanting to eat my toes. Yet, I was sinking, not walking.
Looking at the waves got me to thinking about the story of Jesus and Peter in the book of Matthew…
Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!” But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here! ” Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” – Matthew 14:24-31 NLT
Have you ever seen paintings depicting this event? I don’t think any that I have seen portrayed a true representation of what went on. Most show Jesus walking on water with no more than a few ripples on the surface. The Bible says the disciples were “terrified” because of the wind and waves (not to mention a man walking on them). What kind of seasoned fishermen would have been terrified of rippled water?
As I stood looking out at the waves I could imagine that the water the disciples were being tossed around in was heaving the boat up and down like a roller coaster. And when they saw Jesus walking toward them, where would He have been but on top of the waves? There would have been no flat, level, walking-water anywhere in sight!
When Peter realized that Jesus was the one out their riding the waves instead of fearing them, I can’t help but think that Peter must have thought, “Dadgum! That looks like fun!” Sure walking on water when it is calm would have been cool, but calm water doesn’t possess strong winds and dangerous waves. Peter must have seen Jesus looking like a surfer in a robe without a surfboard and wanted to share in the experience. I mean, if you’ve got to go through a storm, why not ride the waves?
Do you understand the implications of what I am saying? We all face crushing storms with high winds and killer waves, but having faith in Jesus can change one’s whole perspective.
Instead of letting the fear of sinking take your breath away, step out in faith and ride the swells!
Filed under Faith, places, Relationships and Family
I do weddings.
But let me be honest, weddings aren’t always fun, and they are most certainly never easy. I do weddings, but I don’t always want to.
Why don’t I want to do weddings every time I am asked? Because so many know so little about what marriage is, where it came from, what it means, or what it will take to make it work. For crying out loud, most people that say they want to get married don’t even know the person to whom they are about to commit.
I do weddings, yes, but I require pre-marital counseling. Period.
I have several things that I require a couple to go through before I will consent to marry them. Aside from the basic questions that must be asked, a while back I decided to require anyone I marry to watch 2 movies:
You see, I figure it this way – if you really want to get married, then you should be able to watch a couple of movies and then talk about them. If you can’t do that, or if you’re just too rushed, then you don’t need to get married; you are already starting off on the wrong foot.
Now I have a new requirement. On top of Fireproof and Courageous, I have another video to watch before anyone hears, “I now pronounce you man and wife.” My daughter recently showed me a video she watched at camp. The first time I watched it I cried. I was forced to admit I have not been the godly husband I need to be.
I have been preaching through the book of Ephesians on Sunday nights. This past Sunday night we came to the part in chapter five that deals with “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord,” and “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church…” (Eph. 5:22, 25). It is a touchy section in this day and age, but it shouldn’t be, at least not with those who understand the meaning of marriage and the “mystery” of the church (Eph. 5:32). Too many come to the “submit” part and stop. They fail to understand that “submission” in marriage goes both ways; that marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and the church; and that the wife’s “submission” and husband’s “love” are supposed to work in conjunction.
However you want to argue it, though, if the husband would love his wife like Jesus loved us, then there would be a lot more happy wives out there, not to mention healthy families and lasting marriages.
What we need, ladies and gentlemen, is a “Crucifixion Type Love.“
Not long ago I had the chance to go to an outdoor music festival in Chattanooga. It was there at JFest that I met an incredible couple, Tiki and Tom Finlayson, with a powerful story to tell.
You see…
On July 31, 2011, a young man was hit head on by a drunk driver. On July 1 Kevin “Sunshine” Yates died from the injuries he received in the crash. The tragic loss of a son could have driven his parents crazy, but instead of living with hate and bitterness, they decided to do something radical – the decided to forgive.
I would encourage you to go check out the website for 1N3, the ministry that Kevin’s mother and brother (Derek Yates) founded to increase awareness of the tragedy of drunk driving. There you can read the whole story of what happened, about Kevin, and about the lives that have been saved through organ donation. But for now, I would just like to share with you what Tom, Kevin’s dad, told me as we stood looking at the van Kevin was driving.
I know people who have a hard time forgiving others for wrongs done. Others I know have a hard time getting past the death of a loved one; always grieving, always mourning the loss. The Yates and Finlaysons are not that way. All it takes is one look at the smiles on their faces to see that hope and love have drowned hate and bitterness.
Tiki Finlayson and me. They carry the van around to show what happens when people drive intoxicated. The picture is of Kevin Yates, her son.
As we stood there talking, Tom Finlayson told me how that they had truly forgiven the lady that had hit Kevin. As a matter of fact, they have reached out to help her. Believe it or not, she is even scheduled to help in their ministry upon her release from prison.
Tom Finlayson telling the story.
Tom told me, “You know, we’re all murderers…we are all responsible for the death of God’s Son, Jesus…we killed Him…and if God can forgive me for killing his Son, then who am I not to forgive her?”
What more is there to say?
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32
Filed under Alcohol, Christian Maturity, Life Lessons, Relationships and Family
Last year I wrote a post celebrating 18 years of marriage to the most beautiful woman in the world, my wife. Now that another year has come and gone, I thought it would be appropriate to celebrate again. I’m so glad Valerie and I are still together, which is a blessing and a miracle. I don’t deserve such a gift.
Valerie has asked me several times in the past, “If you could do it over again, would you still marry me?” To be honest, there were times when answering that question was difficult, especially back around 1999-2001. During those days I was going through the lowest time of my life, but she stood by me.
If Valerie was to ask me that question today, however, the answer would be a resounding “YES!”
So many people get divorced after a few years of marriage, never staying in it long enough to work through the hard times. In doing so, they miss out on the treasures that years of faithfulness bring. Because they give up too early, they uproot seeds before they have time to germinate, never being able to experience the fruit of a life-long relationship taking root.
The past year has brought with it many heartaches and sorrows. Valerie has had to endure much physical pain which has tested our faith and pushed us to the limits; the loss of income has been terribly stressful; and crisis after crisis has taken an emotional toll on us all. Yet, after 19 years we are more in love, more in faith, and more in God’s will than ever before. How is that possible? “It’s not by power, nor by might, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord.
As I said last year, it’s been a bumpy but wonderful ride. Thank you for staying in the car with me. I’m looking forward to the rest of the trip!
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The Recovering Legalist 