Tag Archives: pre marital counseling

Pre-Salvation Counseling?

Pre-Marital Counseling

Have you ever given pre-marital advice? Have you ever sat down with a young couple, stars in their eyes, and tried to break them up? No? Then maybe you don’t know what real marriage counseling is all about.

OK, no, I don’t go into a counselling session with the intent on making them run out of the room crying and screaming at each other. But what I do try to do is bring to the surface issues that might cause problems down the road which will ultimately lead to major problems, even divorce.

Believe me, a lot of people could have been spared a lot pain and heartache had they been asked some serious questions before they tied the knot.

Salvation Counseling 

But much like the syrupy-sweet lovers who want to jump into marriage without even considering what comes after the honeymoon, many are led into believing that becoming a Christian is the answer to all their problems.

Because of many one-stop Vegas-like “wedding chapels” we call “worship centers,” scores of people have been drawn into a relationship with Jesus – but without the “pre-marital” counseling.

Reality check: Following Jesus will not be easy. As a matter of fact, it might even result in a life of pain and suffering, of hunger and want. This relationship may even cost you your life.

And when [Jesus] had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, “Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” – Mark 8:34

Oh, make no mistake about it, entering into an eternity-long relationship with Jesus is totally worth it!

Just make sure you know what you’re getting into.

 

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Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Life Lessons, Movie review, salvation, Witnessing

Pre-Salvation Counseling?

Pre-Marital Counseling

Have you ever given pre-marital advice? Have you ever sat down with a young couple, stars in their eyes, and tried to break them up? No? Then maybe you don’t know what real marriage counseling is all about.

Honestly, one of the things I try to do before I marry a couple is to break them up. OK, no, I don’t go into a counselling session with the intent on making them run out of the room crying and screaming at each other. But what I do try to do is bring to the surface issues that might cause problems down the road which will ultimately lead to major problems, even divorce. Believe me, a lot of people could have been spared a lot pain and heartache had they been asked some serious questions before they tied the knot.

So, if you want me to conduct your wedding, you must endure at least four hours of me trying to find out if you are aware of what’s ahead.

Salvation Counseling 

Much like the syrupy-sweet lovers who want to jump into marriage without even considering what comes after the honeymoon phase, many are led into believing that becoming a Christian is the answer to all their problems. Because of many one-stop, Vegas-like “wedding chapels” we call “worship centers,” scores of people have been drawn into a relationship with Jesus – but without the “pre-marital” counseling.

Reality check: Following Jesus will not be easy. As a matter of fact, it might even result in a life of pain and suffering, of hunger and want. This relationship may even cost you your life.

And when [Jesus] had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, “Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” – Mark 8:34

Oh, make no mistake about it, entering into an eternity-long relationship with Jesus is totally worth it! Just make sure you know what you’re getting into.

See the Movie

This Friday (March 20) Do You Believe? will come out in theaters. Please, take my advice, go see this movie! It may prove to be the best spiritual “marriage counseling” you’ve had in a while. Oh, and take someone with you who is lost; you won’t regret it.

 

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Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Life Lessons, Movie review, salvation, Witnessing

Another Marriage Prerequisite

Weddings

I do weddings.

But let me be honest, weddings aren’t always fun, and they are most certainly never easy. I do weddings, but I don’t always want to.

weddingWhy don’t I want to do weddings every time I am asked? Because so many know so little about what marriage is, where it came from, what it means, or what it will take to make it work. For crying out loud, most people that say they want to get married don’t even know the person to whom they are about to commit.

I do weddings, yes, but I require pre-marital counseling. Period.

Counseling

I have several things that I require a couple to go through before I will consent to marry them. Aside from the basic questions that must be asked, a while back I decided to require anyone I marry to watch 2 movies:

  1. Fireproof
  2. Courageous

You see, I figure it this way – if you really want to get married, then you should be able to watch a couple of movies and then talk about them. If you can’t do that, or if you’re just too rushed, then you don’t need to get married; you are already starting off on the wrong foot.

Additional Requirement

Now I have a new requirement. On top of Fireproof and Courageous, I have another video to watch before anyone hears, “I now pronounce you man and wife.” My daughter recently showed me a video she watched at camp. The first time I watched it I cried. I was forced to admit I have not been the godly husband I need to be.

I have been preaching through the book of Ephesians on Sunday nights. This past Sunday night we came to the part in chapter five that deals with “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord,” and “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church…” (Eph. 5:22, 25). It is a touchy section in this day and age, but it shouldn’t be, at least not with those who understand the meaning of marriage and the “mystery” of the church (Eph. 5:32). Too many come to the “submit” part and stop. They fail to understand that “submission” in marriage goes both ways; that marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and the church; and that the wife’s “submission” and husband’s “love” are supposed to work in conjunction.

However you want to argue it, though, if the husband would love his wife like Jesus loved us, then there would be a lot more happy wives out there, not to mention healthy families and lasting marriages.

What we need, ladies and gentlemen, is a “Crucifixion Type Love.

Watch the video.

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Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Life Lessons, Relationships and Family