Tag Archives: husband

Your Example Didn’t Quit

Husbands, love your wives, even also as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (Ephesians 5:25).

In other words, think twice before you say of your marriage:

“This is too tough.”

“I don’t feel it anymore.”

“I deserve better.”

“I deserve to be happy.”

“She doesn’t love me.”

“She doesn’t meet my needs.”

“She cheated on me.”

“I quit!”

Think of all Jesus could have said, but didn’t…as He carried the cross all the way.

“As Christ loved” is our example. If He didn’t quit, when should we?

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Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Love of God

Another Marriage Prerequisite


I do weddings.

But let me be honest, weddings aren’t always fun, and they are most certainly never easy. I do weddings, but I don’t always want to.

weddingWhy don’t I want to do weddings every time I am asked? Because so many know so little about what marriage is, where it came from, what it means, or what it will take to make it work. For crying out loud, most people that say they want to get married don’t even know the person to whom they are about to commit.

I do weddings, yes, but I require pre-marital counseling. Period.


I have several things that I require a couple to go through before I will consent to marry them. Aside from the basic questions that must be asked, a while back I decided to require anyone I marry to watch 2 movies:

  1. Fireproof
  2. Courageous

You see, I figure it this way – if you really want to get married, then you should be able to watch a couple of movies and then talk about them. If you can’t do that, or if you’re just too rushed, then you don’t need to get married; you are already starting off on the wrong foot.

Additional Requirement

Now I have a new requirement. On top of Fireproof and Courageous, I have another video to watch before anyone hears, “I now pronounce you man and wife.” My daughter recently showed me a video she watched at camp. The first time I watched it I cried. I was forced to admit I have not been the godly husband I need to be.

I have been preaching through the book of Ephesians on Sunday nights. This past Sunday night we came to the part in chapter five that deals with “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord,” and “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church…” (Eph. 5:22, 25). It is a touchy section in this day and age, but it shouldn’t be, at least not with those who understand the meaning of marriage and the “mystery” of the church (Eph. 5:32). Too many come to the “submit” part and stop. They fail to understand that “submission” in marriage goes both ways; that marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and the church; and that the wife’s “submission” and husband’s “love” are supposed to work in conjunction.

However you want to argue it, though, if the husband would love his wife like Jesus loved us, then there would be a lot more happy wives out there, not to mention healthy families and lasting marriages.

What we need, ladies and gentlemen, is a “Crucifixion Type Love.

Watch the video.


Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Life Lessons, Relationships and Family

A Husband and a Father

Just this past week a couple of special days were celebrated: my anniversary and Father’s Day.

On June 18, 1994, I was married to Valerie Riddle. Valerie and I have now been married 17 years, and boy has there been a lot of water under that bridge! So, this June 18th was a celbration of that first day we became legally bound to put up with each other (said with a wink).

June 19, 2011 was Father’s Day. Since I am the proud father of 3 girls and a four-legged son, Nugget, it was only right that I be celebrated. I’ve been a pretty good dad, I must say, even if they lie and say they think differently. They love me.

My wife and I exchanged, sorta, some gifts for our anniversary. She received, from me, a pearl ring, set with diamonds in silver. I received, from me (with her permission), a new Schwinn bicycle with chrome fenders, seven speeds, a rear rack, a speedometer/odometer, and a mirror. We were both pleased.

But what really makes a good husband and father? I believe that a good husband and father is many things, but most of all he should mirror Jesus Christ. How can this be done?

A Man Should Love His Wife.

A Christlike dad should be a Christlike husband. How is that possible? Well, take a look at Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it...” Men, we should love our wives with a sacrificial love that transcends bad hair days, PMS, or maxed-out credit cards. Consider those things nothing more than nails with which to hold us to the cross of marriage.

Boys and girls that grow up seeing a loving, sacrificial relationship between a man and a woman – a relationship bound by a commitment before God and man – seek themselves to be the kinds of men and women that hold a society together. On the other hand, children that grow up in “families” where the man is abusive, self-centered, arrogant, manipulative, or spiteful, tend to act the same way when they find a mate. The men tend to be abusive users, while the women tend to be facilitators.

A Man Should Be a Light

The way we act as husbands and fathers can be crucial to the spreading of the Gospel. When others watch our actions, they walk away with an impression that reflects back on our Heavenly Father. Did He teach us to act that way? Is this the way HE treats His Bride?

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in Heaven.” – Matthew 5:16

A Man Should Bear His Cross

Marriage may sometimes feel like a cross we bear. It can get tough, for sure. The sacrifices are many, especially when it comes to our egos, our dreams, our garages, our sports cars, etc. But it WAS Jesus who said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Matt. 16:24).

Marriage is no place for the wimpy, the selfish, or self-centered. Neither is marriage the place for the one who seeks the pleasure of the here-and-now. Marriage is about the long-term benefits that come with commitment. Thankfully, for our sakes, Jesus remained committed to His calling and “for the joy that was set before him endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2).

A REAL husband is committed for the long-haul. A REAL father is one who sets an example of sacrifice. Men, may we be the best that we can be as we become like Christ. And even if we can’t be perfect, at least we can try. We do have big shoes to fill.

“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” – Matthew 5:48


Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, fitness, Relationships and Family