Category Archives: Life Lessons

by | June 18, 2013 · 12:11 am

19th on the 18th

Our Anniversary!

Last year I wrote a post celebrating 18 years of marriage to the most beautiful woman in the world, my wife. Now that another year has come and gone, I thought it would be appropriate to celebrate again. I’m so glad Valerie and I are still together, which is a blessing and a miracle. I don’t deserve such a gift.

Valerie has asked me several times in the past, “If you could do it over again, would you still marry me?” To be honest, there were times when answering that question was difficult, especially back around 1999-2001. During those days I was going through the lowest time of my life, but she stood by me.

If Valerie was to ask me that question today, however, the answer would be a resounding “YES!”

It takes time!

So many people get divorced after a few years of marriage, never staying in it long enough to work through the hard times. In doing so, they miss out on the treasures that years of faithfulness bring. Because they give up too early, they uproot seeds before they have time to germinate, never being able to experience the fruit of a life-long relationship taking root.

The past year has brought with it many heartaches and sorrows. Valerie has had to endure much physical pain which has tested our faith and pushed us to the limits; the loss of income has been terribly stressful; and crisis after crisis has taken an emotional toll on us all. Yet, after 19 years we are more in love, more in faith, and more in God’s will than ever before. How is that possible? “It’s not by power, nor by might, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord.

I love you, Valerie. Happy anniversary!

As I said last year, it’s been a bumpy but wonderful ride. Thank you for staying in the car with me. I’m looking forward to the rest of the trip!

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by | April 5, 2013 · 12:43 am

It’s “Friday” (Blast from the Past)

Blast from the Past!

It’s Friday. It’s April. And this was written on a Friday 2 years ago, long before many of you began following this blog. So, step back in time and enjoy!

BTW, I’m glad to see Rebecca Black is doing well, recording better music, and has a real future – unlike the mean and hateful losers who bullied and made fun of her. Where are they, now?

“Friday, Friday…”

What would be the chance that we could convince the calender people to change the names of the days? Could we change Friday to something like Frickabrack? How about Flurble? We have to do something, or every time the weekend comes around I’m gonna be singing that song. DANG IT!!

If you have been fortunate enough to have never heard this song, then that is about to change. You are going to submit to the temptation and click the link below. You have to share in the pain. You HAVE to!

Why Me, Lord?

Just because a song is popular, doesn’t make it good. An example would be “Why Me Lord” by Kris Kristofferson. I HATED that song. However, a song I hate more is “One Day at a Time.” Kris co-wrote that, you know. The part that I hated the most was the second verse…

Do you remember (Are you kidding? Ever heard of Omniscience)
When you walked among men
Well Jesus, you know, if you’re looking below(If? What’s He doin’, cleaning harps?)
It’s worse now than then(like when the Romans were feeding lions)
Pushin’ and shovin’ crowding my mind(Mental breakdowns are worse than martyrdom)
Lord for my sake(It’s all about me, isn’t it?)
Teach me to take
One day at a time (Just go take a nap, and you’ll feel better)

Well, “Friday” is a popular song, that’s for sure. What started off as an 8th-grader’s dream project has turned into a multi-million dollar success.  Once it was posted on YouTube, it went viral. Now, as of this article, it received over 88 million hits (views). I just want to know why I had to be one of the unlucky ones to hear it.

It’s Cute

It could be worse, you know. Rebecca Black could be singing a song about teen sex in the back of a convertible, or drug use while worshiping Satan in the bathroom of a public school. So, from a content perspective, it’s not that bad. The tune is annoying, but catchy, and the lyrics are clean.  In short, it’s a cute song. But who on earth thought it was a poetic stroke of genius to end a line in a song with “afterwer-erds?”

The Worst Example for Teens is in the Video

If I really wanted to point out the negatives, it would have to be in the video. Here you have a song about a girl who goes to the bus stop, but instead hops a ride in the back seat of a convertible driven by a 10-year-old. Did her parents say it was OK to ride to school with her underage “friends?” Were any of them wearing seat belts?

The second verse presented some disturbing images. The last time I checked, it was not only illegal for 8th graders to drive alone, much less without an adult, but shouldn’t they sit IN the car, not ON the car? She said “on the highway” while waving at her friends from the trunk of a convertible. Can you say “Girls die in tragic accident after falling out of car – News at Eleven!?”

But there’s another thing – who is this gangsta’ rapper that knows so much about little Rebecca Black and her partying? What’s the deal? If it was my little girl, dude better watch where he parks that ride. I don’t think ANY grown man with gold teeth and “bling” needs to be concerned with my middle school girl, her parties, OR her fun fun fun. Got it?!

Wishing Rebecca Well

I wish her the best. I hope this is the start of something big for her. God bless her, really! She seems like a sweet kid with a monotone voice that grates through my soul like a recurring chalkboard nightmare. All I ask is that she leave all the other days of the week alone – and for Heaven’s sake, find another writer.

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by | March 19, 2013 · 11:12 pm

Playing on the Bridge

“Daddy, can I?”

Every time I hear those words I wince. One reason is because it should be “may I,” instead of “can I“. The other reason is because I don’t know what is coming next.

Usually, whenever I hear the words, “Daddy can I,” others words follow that demand I either exhibit my Superman-like powers and Solomon-like wisdom, or pretend to be Bill Gates.

  • “Daddy, can I get the new iPhone when it comes out?”
  • “Daddy, can I go on a mission trip around the world next week?”
  • “Daddy, can I go shoe shopping?”
  • “Daddy, can I hang a punching bag in my room?”
  • “Daddy, can I have a motorcycle?”

Unfortunately, many times I have to tell my girls, “No.” They’ve become accustomed to disappointment.

On the Bridge

However, this time one of my girls had a request that I couldn’t deny. Katie asked me, “Daddy, can I go play on the bridge?” It didn’t cost money…We didn’t need a permit…The weather wasn’t bad…How could I say, “no”?

So, while my wife took Pampered Chef orders from other parents as she waited for Haley (our youngest) to finish her Wing Chun class, Katie and I took the car a few block down the road to the Walnut Street bridge.

katie on the bridgeOnce we found a parking place fairly close, we unloaded the guitar and walked about a hundred yards out onto the bridge. We then found a nice little place to sit, unpacked the guitar, and Katie started playing.

Unashamed

What was really a blessing was to see my daughter doing what she loved to do without any fear. As total strangers walked or ran by, she kept playing and singing. But you see, she wasn’t just playing for others to hear; she just wanted to play on the bridge. If people heard her, and if they like what they heard, then that was just icing on the cake.

How often do we just get out and do what we love to do, no matter what others think of us? Just think, if we did, some might like what they hear. But as long as we keep to ourselves, strumming behind closed doors, we miss the joy of playing on bridges. And if you never play on any bridges, you probably won’t make any, either.

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by | March 14, 2013 · 9:25 pm

Choose Your Topic (Warning)

Warning: The following subject material may be offensive to some. Please be advised.

Choice of College

As a parent, I believe the choice of the college or university to which you plan to send your children is a critical choice to make. What they will learn there can have incalculable ramifications. That is why my daughter will not be attending many places deemed “the best,” including the University of Tennessee at Knoxville (even though we live in Tennessee and are not Crimson Tide fans).

No, my two girls who still live at home will not being going to U.T., or any other school like it, as long as the money from tuition goes to fund things like Sex Week. If I am going to be giving any money to fund my daughters’ educations, it won’t be going to help teach young “adults” how to be more sexually expressive, especially with the same sex. Ain’t happening.

Held Hostage!

One young person (presumably a college student who now knows everything about being an adult) accused me of holding my daughters “hostage” for not spending my hard-earned dollars on the college of their choice. I was told that I was being a bad parent because I did not respect her right to do as she wished.

News Flash! It is a parent’s job to say “NO!” every once in a ….scratch that…. It’s a parent’s job to say “NO!” a whole LOT of times. As long as my children (and that is the operative word) are living in my house, eating my food, using my electricity, driving my cars, and dressing in clothing I paid for, by golly I have a say in where they go and what they do and who they do it with! I am a parent, for Christ’s sake (literally), not a best friend or “bud”!

Choice of Topics

What got me on this subject? It was a Fox News article detailing how student fees at UT are going to be funding the hosting of, among others, a lesbian bondage expert (Sinclair Sexsmith) during Sex Week. According to the info packet you can view HERE,  “getting laid” is “an urgently needed discussion” among the educated elite.

Evidently, the wisdom and insight of Sinclair Sexsmith, author of the Sugarbutch Chronicles and one “who studies critical feminist & gender theory, sexual freedom, social change activism, archetypes, and the tantric and buddhist spiritual systems,” is a voice that must be heard by our already over-sexed generation.

So, if you choose to attend one of the lectures being offered during the first week of April (fools?), you might be able to hear her, along with several other “urgently needed” topics of discussion. Speakers and topics include…

  •  Reid Mihalko – Getting Laid (Rape Culture); Hook-Up Culture on
    College Campuses; Personal Motivational Speech on
    Sexuality
  •  Sinclair Sexsmith – Messing Around with Gender; Literary Workshop
  • Charlie Glickman – Sex Positivity; Queer as a Verb; The Performance of Masculinity
  • Shanna Katz – Disability and Sex; Body Image
  • The Mayhems – Sexual Consent/Communication; Non-monogamy

Conclusion?

How do I conclude a post like this? How do I prepare for the onslaught of comments (don’t I wish, right?)?

What will I be called? Hmmm, probably a ____ of a ____ and a ____ who doesn’t know my ___ from a hole in the ground. Of course, if parents respond, and not a bunch of morally relativistic twenty-somethings who know how to rule the world with anarchy, other words may be used. Words like, “Amen, brother!”

Seriously, if you think that your offspring have not learned enough about sexual perversion from movies, music, MTV, and the internet, not to mention their friends, go with them to events like this. You’re paying for it, so you might as well learn something, right?

God help us.

“Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” – Mark 8:38

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by | March 12, 2013 · 3:21 pm

A “Perfect” Role Model

Sermon Prep

Not long ago I was doing some research for a sermon on Jonah. In the process I came across a Muslim website that made an interesting observation (and I will paraphrase), “The Bible proves it is not true because God would not allow the prophets’ reputations to be smeared.”

It went on to say (paraphrasing, again), “What kind of role model would a prophet be if we read of him making mistakes?”

What kind of role model? That’s a good question! Was the Muslim author trying to say that role models had to be perfect in order to be real? Here’s a shocker – in one way or another, everybody is a role model.

If the defining characteristic of a role model is “perfection,” that would rule out King David, Solomon, Moses, Joshua, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Peter, Paul, Sarah, Mary (all of them), the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears, and many, many others…

…especially Jonah.

Jonah

Now, Jonah wasn’t exactly the type of person after which I would want to pattern my life, but he was a prophet of God. He had some serious character flaws, though. He was angry, disobedient, and was a racist who constantly talked suicide. He even spouted off to the Lord for being too forgiving!

No, Jonah’s not the type of person I would want to emulate. But hold the whale puke! I am more like him than I thought!

  • I have run from God.
  • I have harbored racism at times, as much as I am ashamed to admit.
  • I have been angry and disobedient.
  • I have wondered if life was worth living.
  • I have even wanted to see whole cities destroyed, innocent people and all, after September 11, 2001.

I have been more like Jonah more than I care to admit.

The Encouraging Part

The fact is that the Bible is not only full of role models, but models of the people we already are. Flawed, broken, and human. But here is the encouraging part: even when we are not perfect, God can still use us – and change us.

  • Jonah ran from God, but God pursued.
  • Jonah disobeyed God, but it didn’t derail God’s plan.
  • Jonah got angry with God, but God responded to him with the understanding kindness of a wise Father.
  • Jonah even wanted to die, but God never belittled him. He only focused Jonah’s attention on the bigger picture: 120,000 souls, not to mention animals, whose lives were spared (Jonah 4).

I thank God that the Bible doesn’t white-wash humanity. There are so many examples of how people, just like me, can find hope, even when we’re not perfect.

The Perfect One

It is not hard to come to the conclusion that there were some really dysfunctional people in the Bible. But you know what? That’s what adds to the authenticity of Scripture. There are no “perfect” role models in the Bible, except for one – Jesus.

“For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.” – 1 Peter 2:21-22 ESV

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” – Hebrews 4:15-16 NIV

I want to be more like HIM!

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by | March 9, 2013 · 7:10 pm

Promise Fulfilled

Daddy, Will You…

Not long ago I received a list from my 12-year old daughter. It was a list of things she wanted to do with me. It was a list of things that she wanted to do with her daddy, when he could make the time.

Well, today I got to check off one of the things on her list – shooting.

Daddy Needs To…

One of the big problems of today’s society is a lack of father participation. Oh, many men (I use that term loosely) are more than happy to make babies and play house, but few are willing to make lifelong commitments, especially to being there for their daughters.

Men, your daughters need you. They need you to love them, to hug them, to have tea parties, and to go shooting. They need you to be the first men in their lives, and the ones that all others are judged by.

Daddies, don’t make your little girls look for love in the arms of some prepubescent, jobless, video-gamer. Don’t let some condom-packing thug come along and be the first one to tell your daughter she’s a princess. Every girl wants to feel special, so prove to her that she is.

Not a Victim

If you really want to do your daughters a favor, teach them how not to be a victim. You know what boys are like, so be the hero…warn your girls! Teach them that it is OK to say “no” to those hormone factories in hoodies. And for when the Justin Bieber wannabe’s try to make a serious move, teach your girls how to take away their offspring-producing capabilities.

And…where possible…teach them how to use a weapon. You can’t protect them forever.

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by | March 6, 2013 · 2:29 am

I’ve Been Sick

It may be news to you, but I have been a little under the weather. To put it another way, I have been sick. But who hasn’t, right?

It can get depressing.

However, I have also been experiencing some unexplained pain in my chest. After a couple of trips to the E.R. and a few visits to doctors, I am still no closer to a diagnosis. All I know is that nothing shows up as a heart attack.

I didn’t want to tell many people, though. The last thing I wanted was worried people calling me all day and night asking how I felt. I feel OK, other than that nagging little pain.

Don’t Pray?

It was only a couple of years ago that I had a cancer scare. I was told that a mass in my chest might be a tumor. When people began finding out about the potential diagnosis, I had to say something. I said, “Don’t you dare pray that I be healed! If you pray anything, pray that God gets the glory through whatever He is leading me through.”The same message holds true this time.

Now, if you are an atheist like Andrew Marburger (my most prolific antagonist), then withholding your prayers for my healing shouldn’t be a problem. But if you are a Christ-follower, then you may be tempted to pray that God heal me and take away my pain. I wouldn’t blame you, for I believe that God is fully capable of doing just that. However, what I desire most is to be full of the Holy Spirit and yielded to the will of my Savior.

Just think, it might be His will for me to take the love of Christ to a nurse who is searching for hope. Maybe God wants me to look into the eyes of a surgeon and say, “I know in Whom I have believed?” You see, sometimes, when those in the hospital won’t go to church, the Lord puts the Church in the hospital.

It Is Well

140 years ago, in 1873, Horatio G. Spafford lost his four daughters to the icy Atlantic when a ship they and his wife were on sank in only 12 minutes. Only a short time before he had lost his only son, a 4-year old, to illness. Then he lost most all his wealth to the Chicago fire. It is hard to imagine the grief he must have been going through.

But it was during his mourning, while sailing to meet his grieving wife who survived the sinking, that Spafford looked over the rails into the waves where his daughters had drowned and wrote the following words…

When peace like a river attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll,

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

“It is well, it is well with my soul.”

If you want to pray for me, then by all means, pray! Just let it be, “SOLI DEO GLORIA!” (To God alone be the glory!).

It is well with my soul.

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by | February 21, 2013 · 7:08 pm

Getting Old and Scaring Wives

Pains of Aging

If there is one thing in life that stinks, it’s getting old. On the other hand, if there is one thing in life that is sweeter than honey, it’s getting old (i.e., not dying).

There are a lot of pains and aches associated with aging. One of those pains is the pain in the rear that comes with having to go to the ER every time I feel pain in my chest. I get so tired of all the questions, needles, sticky things that painfully remove hair from my chest (I am a manly man, you know), and freezing while waiting for a doctor to tell me I’m not having a heart attack – he thinks.

But there are other pains, too. There’s the pain of hearing your youngest daughter ask, “could this kill you?” There’s the pain of having to hug your girls as you leave for the emergency room, knowing, if this is it, they will be suffering unimaginable pain, but you won’t be there to help. There’s the pain of looking into your wife’s eyes, wondering how she will cope if you don’t make it through the next few hours.

I went through all of this, today.

Perks of Aging

But, there are some perks that come along with aging, too! One is being able to walk on a college campus wearing a sweater vest and have all the college girls (and guys, but not as many) open the door for you (because they think their grade may depend on it). It’s fun. I say, “Have you got your presentation ready for tomorrow?” Ha! Such fun!

Ultimately, getting older means the train is getting closer to the station. I have my bags packed, and my ticket punched. The longer I stand still and listen, the more I think I can feel the vibration on the tracks. It won’t be much longer. I will finally get to go to that land where I will run faster and faster, farther in, and farther up.

I just pray that my train is not too far apart from my wife’s train. She’s scared I will leave too soon. Maybe, if we wait long enough, we can ride in the same dining car together. I’d love to see her eyes when we see for the first time the place we are going. The light will reflect beautifully off of her grey hair.

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by | February 2, 2013 · 11:32 pm

Fake Fire

Conclave 2013

This weekend I went with our youth pastor, Daniel Ziegenmier, to Conclave 2013, “a training conference to equip and rejuvenate your youth ministry team.” The great thing was that it was here in our home town, not across the country. 

camp fireWhile strolling through the exhibit hall where various ministries had booths and displays, I came across this neat fake camp fire. The flame in the middle was made of a fabric that fluttered above a silent fan and colored light. From only a few feet away it looked real.

It would have been nice to have one of these back in 1984. There would be less emotional scars.

High School Play 1984

In my junior year of high school the junior/senior speech class wrote and performed a Christmas play. I had a part in everything, from acting to writing and prop design. It was the prop design that had serious flaws.

The Stage

The play was held in the auditorium of Hamill Road Baptist Church in Hixson, TN. The set took up the entire stage where the pulpit usually sat, along with most of the choir loft. It was a big production in a very nice, carpeted church.

Hamill Road had light blue carpet…really nice, comfortable, flammable carpet.

The Set

In one of the scenes the cast went Christmas caroling, so there was a set complete with houses and front doors.

Following the caroling, all the cast went to a house to sit around and talk about the Christmas story. There they drank hot chocolate as they sat around a fire place…

…a fire place in church.

The Prop

It essentially came down to 2 or 3 other guys and myself. We had to figure out how to build a fireplace that looked real enough, but didn’t actually burn wood or gas. Unfortunately, we had no prior special effects experience.

I don’t know if it was Jeff DeHart, Brian Gibson, or myself who decided it was a good idea to take a candle, lay it on its side, notch it out, and expose 3 to 4 pieces of wick. I don’t know who it was, but one of us thought that we could light a candle in front of tin foil, surround it with dry wood, and make it would look like a burning fire place.

Did you know that when you notch out a candle, pull out the wick, light it, and let it burn during a 10-minute scene that the flame would eventually burn through? Nobody told us!

The Fire

I was proud of all of us. Like true professionals, when the fire hit the carpet…that beautiful, baby-blue carpet…we were able to smack the floor with our hands to the beat of another Christmas carol. Nearly in a panic, knowing our semester grades were on the line, not to mention our eternal souls, we put the fire out with our bare hands. Our parents didn’t have a clue.

Providentially, the next to the last scene involved the death of a character and a real casket. Without going into much detail, the layer of smoke created by the fire became a special effect worthy of an Oscar! It was beautiful!

For some reason the air conditioning system didn’t come on, and the smoke spread out like a sea over the congregation.  When the rented spotlight in the back came on, the exposed smoke made the congregation look like an eerie cemetery full of dressed-up headstones. I got chills.

Epilogue

Well, we got a standing ovation and an “A” for the project. Unfortunately, because the play was so well-received, we were asked to do an encore.

That’s when the church burned down…

…Just kidding.

 

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by | January 31, 2013 · 11:13 am

Hacked Email

This morning I woke up to several emails asking odd questions. One friend who is involved with monitoring attempted terrorist attacks on our waterways sent me an email saying, “You have been hacked.” Oh. That explained it.

Well, if you received a strange email from me in the middle of the night (depending on where you live), and if it was a spam email, then please accept my apologies. I can’t say it won’t happen again, but I’ll do my best to up the security.

In the meantime, here are some suggestions to help determine if an email you receive is actually from me…

First, if you receive an email with a time stamp of 3:30 a.m., toss it. If it is so important that I get a message to you in the middle of the night, I will either call, text, or say something other than “Hello!” If you do actually receive an email from me when I should be sleeping, just report me to my wife.

Secondly, I don’t know any “hot girls” or “sexy singles”. Let’s try to keep it that way, OK?

Thirdly, I hate to forward anything, and usually won’t if someone asks. If you receive a message that says something like, “You’ve got to check this out!”, then it’s probably not from me. If you receive anything that says, “Forward this to at least 10 people and you will be blessed with love and success,” it came from Satan, not me.

Lastly, I don’t do weird stuff. If it is an email asking you to check out some new “thing” on the market or a new gimmick to help you lose weight, it’s not from me. If it is a link to something sexual, shame on you if you click it!

Well, there you have it. I am sure I could come up with more suggestions, but I have other stuff to do. I hope this was helpful.

If you have any other suggestions, leave them in the comment section below. Your email may be the next one hacked.

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