Tag Archives: Monday

by | November 24, 2013 · 2:00 am

Thanksgiving in the Light of Judgment Day

Happy Lord’s day (that’s Sunday, in case you wondered)!

This week we will be celebrating Thanksgiving in America, so today is a day when most Thanksgiving-related sermons will be preached.

Today at 5 pm (eastern), on a local a.m. radio station, I will be preaching once again, but you are going to have a chance to here the sermon first. How cool is that? If you so desire, you can click the link at the bottom of the page and hear a pre-recorded sermon which is scheduled to air later today.

Unlike what I regularly do, however, my radio messages are a little more unscripted (I rarely use an outline). Not that I “script” my regular sermons, but I usually don’t ad-lib. My radio recordings are a little more off-the-cuff, so to speak.

By the way, I am going to try to get a Monday Monkey episode ready for Monday (or maybe Tuesday). It has been a while since I last did one, and Mr. Monkey has been wanting to know why I have been avoiding him.

Also, I think I am going to create a new tab on my blog that will have links to all my previous Monday Monkey episodes. That way it will be much easier for you to access them, which is really a really good thing considering there are many of you who have no idea how many of them I have made (some better than others). I think I may label the tab “Monkey Archives.”

Thanksgiving Sermon

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by | November 10, 2013 · 10:22 pm

Sunday Wind Down

The day is about over, and here I sit at the computer. I am tired, my feet hurt, my throat is sore, and I am brain-drained. On top of that, I am emotionally and spiritually spent.

It’s Sunday night, and I’m a pastor.

Others go to church, sometimes for both morning and evening services, but usually just for an hour a week.

I worked all week in a regular job, worked a few odd jobs, visited sick people in hospitals, answered late-night calls, prayed with the hurting, studied for three sermons and a Sunday school lesson, when I could squeeze in the time, and then put in more study on Saturday. Did I get a day of rest? Did I play golf? No.

I’ve been up since 5:30 a.m., it’s Sunday night, I’m tired, and I’m a bi-vocational pastor.

I did watch some TV (Duck Dynasty) with my family and four visitors who came over after church, had a late snack, and turned on the clothes dryer for my wife. So, it’s not like I haven’t done anything fun.

I’m about ready to go to bed in order to get up at 5:30 a.m. (again) in order to drive a school bus. I’m not complaining, however – at least I still have a job.

It’s Sunday night, I’m tired, and I’m a pastor.

Tomorrow, I will start my work week all over again. I will face the morning with hope and a joy unspeakable and full of glory. I’ll do my best, with the Lord’s help, but it will be Monday…(I hate Mondays).

So, if you see me tomorrow morning and I don’t offer you a “hallelujah,” give me a break. If I don’t look like Joel Osteen after a visit to a spa, cut me some slack. At least let me drink a cup or two of coffee before you start judging.

I’m a pastor, but I’m only human.

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by | August 5, 2013 · 11:01 am

A Thought for Monday

Today is Monday, but you’ve probably figured that out, haven’t you?

Coffee always helps.

Coffee always helps.

How did you wake up? Was it with a sense of dread? Instead of turning off the alarm clock that woke you up, did you strike it like a mosquito that had been buzzing around your head for an hour?

I don’t like Mondays any more than you. As a matter of fact, Mondays are pretty rough. Mondays should be my day off, but I am what they call a bivocational pastor; therefore, my alarm clock feels like a mosquito, too.

However, the Psalmist (David) says…

This [is] the day [which] the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. – Psalm 118:24 

Today…this Monday…every Monday…this is the day which the Lord has made. As a matter of fact, He has made every day. So, what will we do? Will we bemoan the blessing of waking up? Will we cry “foul” even before we enter the game? Will we start the day with the expectation that Monday will be like every other Monday?

This day was made by God. He knows what He is doing. Nothing will come our way that God is not already planning to use for our good – for those who love Him.

Today you may face a storm that leaves you feeling abandoned by God. You may feel like the disciples who were out on the Sea of Galilee all night fighting winds and waves. You may think that your Savior has forgotten you. Just remember that even in the worst storm, on the worst day, Jesus knows where you are. When the time is right you might even get an invitation to surf the waves of adversity (Matthew 14:27).

So, rejoice! Be glad! Seize the day! It’s been custom-made for you!

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by | February 18, 2013 · 12:30 am

Monday Monkey (Monkey Shakes an Egg) Episode 33

Nashville

IMG_9903Katie and I, along with our youth pastor, Daniel (in the orange UT shirt), went to Nashville this past Friday and Saturday. We were there to begin the hard work of pounding out a quality recording project. And yes, it is hard work.

The only problem is that Mr. Monkey just had to get in on the act. He wouldn’t let it go. So, out of sheer frustration, I finally gave in.

See Mr. Monkey get introduced to his very own musical instrument.

Special Thanks To:

  • Joel Ziegenmier, for letting a monkey take over his studio
  • Steve Castlen, for knocking some sense into Mr. Monkey’s head
  • Roy Cavender, for keeping Mr. Monkey entertained with all his crazy antics
  • Daniel Ziegenmier, for not acting like a monkey or doing that “call me” thing with his hand
  • The makers of shaker eggs (Katie loves them)
  • The makers of polyester fur

Reunion

IMG_9910On a separate note, it was good to get back in the groove with my old friend, Steve Castlen. The best I can figure, the last time he played drums while I played bass was probably in ’94.

Check out his website, SteveCastlenApologetics.com.

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by | October 1, 2012 · 1:51 am

Monday Without a Monkey

Where’s the Monkey?

Believe it or not, I am not a total goof. I do have a life outside of the warmth of that stitched glove with arms, legs, ears, eyes, and a big mouth – the furry glove called “Mr. Monkey.”

Yet, some people ask, “If it’s Monday, where’s the monkey?”  The answer is that every once in a while I have to step away from my partnership with the “unregenerate ape” in order to pursue other activities.

Whatcha Doin’?

Have you ever been trying to enjoy a day off from work, or maybe a simple dentist appointment, when you got a phone call asking, “Hey, whatcha doin’?”

Because I’m a popular guy, you see, I get that question all the time. I get calls from work, church, church members, family, friends, would-be friends, friends-of-friends, my kid’s friends, and people who say they know me. They all want to know what I am doing.

What’s more, as a pastor I am always on call, so my cell phone had to be surgically implanted (I won’t say where). Calls come in all the time from people wanting to know what I’m doing, and they always come at a time when I have to lie, like…

  • When I am in the section of a store that sells stuff my daughters are too embarrassed to purchase on their own.
  • When I am in the bathroom.
  • When I am watching a movie when I should be doing something productive, like washing dishes, or killing an elk.
  • or, When marriage proves to be more than a friendly relationship.

But if you were to call this week or the next, you’d get the following answers…

  • Finishing three six-page papers and one 15 page research paper due by the 11th.
  • Finishing another research paper that requires a presentation with Power Point.
  • Taking my little girl to do something destructive, like shooting tin cans, or knife throwing.
  • Taking my 16-year-old daughter to the recording studio to work on her first project.
  • Studying for at least 6 sermons.
  • Driving a school bus.
  • Writing posts for ProverbialThought.com.
  • Recording a radio broadcast.
  • Meeting with church staff to map out some future plans.
  • Attending my daughter’s last two volley ball games.
  • Spending more time in prayer.
  • and, trimming my eyebrows.

Whatcha’ NOT Doin’?

What I will not be doing is making any promises to do anything else. Now, according to an email I got the other day, this blog is supposed to be featured on the WordPress “Just Pressed” page. If that actually happens, I’ll be doing a dance in front of my computer, but you will NOT see it.

Most of all, I will not be goofing around with Mr. Monkey for a little while. Not only Mondays, but every other day of the week will be crazy. So, if you call, expect a busy signal.

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by | August 28, 2012 · 7:58 pm

Monday Monkey “What if You Cross a Monkey With Time?” (Episode 28)

A Little Late

I am sorry that this edition of Monday Monkey did not make it out on Monday, but life is not a picnic – or is it? Life is not a bed of roses – or is it?

Picnics have scavenging insects and flying blood-suckers, while roses are covered with thorns. If you were to lay on a bed of roses while out on a picnic without insect repellent, you could die from blood loss and starvation.

Yesterday was not a good day. Let’s just say my family and myself would appreciate your prayers.

A Little Different

This edition of Monday Monkey was done in black and white. Believe it or not, I had to take multiple videos with my Socialcam app in order to achieve the effect. I could not find a single app for my phone that would record in black and white the way that I wanted, especially for free.

It is also a little different because I made up an accent. I don’t know what it really is. Maybe it is a combination of French, Russian, and Romanian. I don’t know.

And believe it or not, I did everything by myself this time. I had no help in the “camera girl” department. I even did the music on an old Yamaha Clavinova.

A Little Controversy

Where’s the controversy? Well, one could say that it is the fact that I call a certain kind of bread “monkey bread,” when it isn’t. But the real controversy can be found in the fact that I make it perfectly clear where I stand with the issue of Creation and Evolution. It’s quick, but it’s in there.

I’m sure, based on previous experience, that some will come on this blog and challenge my beliefs. That’s OK. The last thing I want to be known for is cowering from expressing my beliefs.

A Little Encouragement

That brings me to a final thought. There is no reason for Christians (or those who just believe that the world did not just appear out of nothing or by accident) to cower under the attacks from evolutionists. Sure, a lot of those guys are smart, but that doesn’t mean they are right (I’m sure that won’t set well, either). If you have the truth, don’t be afraid to stand up for it. Just be sure you are able to defend your beliefs with something solid, not just tradition or feeling.

One well-known “scientist” was recently shown telling parents to stop teaching their kids about creation. He said, “We need them [to be engineers, scientists, etc.].” Immediately my mind recalled one of the greatest scientist this country has known, George Washington Carver (1864-1943). Carver said, “I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.”  – Brainyquote.com

“What if You Cross a Monkey With Time?”

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by | August 27, 2012 · 12:30 am

A Monkey is Coming – Beware

Prepare

If you are reading this early on a Monday morning, then you should be the first to prepare. You should be thankful that you have received this warning early.

Many will see this too late. Many will not have time to prepare.

“Prepare for what?” you may ask.

Prepare to see a video so shocking, so controversial, so unlike anything you have ever seen before. It will go down in history  – for something.

Pre-Share

Don’t wait till later to tell people what you are about to see. It is Monday. It could happen at any moment.

At any second the world’s most controversial video of a polyester-furred puppet monkey offending certain humans will hit YouTube and the world wide web. You need to get the word out NOW! Don’s just share, pre-share! They must be warned!

Be in Prayer

The truth will be shocking, upsetting, and unsettling. Some will become nauseated. Others will wish they were wearing adult diapers. But a large portion of the portion of the world whose claims are disproportionately larger than their actual portion will simply be offended and reply with hatred, vitriol, and jokes that aren’t that funny.

Be in prayer that the video to be released later on this day will go viral – at least as much as “Charlie Bit My Finger” – and actually make a point…without actually hurting anyone’s finger.

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by | May 21, 2012 · 11:12 am

Summer Reruns

Summer’s Here

Yes, according to our school calender, summer is here, and so are all the network television reruns.

For some reason, and I don’t know why, actors and other Hollywood folk have never been able to work year-round. They always take the summer months off, then start a “new season” in the fall. Why? Are we all enrolled in the same educational program? Yes. It’s called the College of Brainwashing, Indoctrination, and Cultural Manipulation (CBICM).

Sicker Stuff Coming

And speaking of cultural manipulation, have you heard about a new show that MTV tried to start, but cancelled? It was to be called “Losing It.” Literally, the folks at CBICM planned to start a new “course” in the fall that would document 18+ year-olds losing their virginity! Last year, FOX’s “Glee” celebrated straight and gay teen couples’ “First Time,” so I guess MTV had to test the depths of the gutter…

“Do you want to take things to the next level? Like, are you ready to hand over your V card? Or do you have a friend who is ready to lose it? Young adulthood is a time for exploration. New relationships, fresh experiences and sexual firsts,” read the casting notice. “Now MTV is looking to frankly capture that journey in a new series called My First. We’re looking for adults who are ready to go all the way. Let MTV come along on your journey… as you try to lose your virginity!”

Remember Twin Beds?

Do you remember when Lucy and Ricky slept in separate beds? Do you remember when no one cursed on screen? Do you remember when cartoons were full of simple violence (Bugs Bunny), instead of New Age mysticism and earth worship?

Sadly, most anything still decent to watch is old stuff in reruns (if they’re being shown at all). Every once in a while one can stumble upon an episode of The Andy Griffith Show, but now most reruns are just as bad as the new stuff. Now, instead of seeing a happy couple in separate beds, we are shown multiple couples in the same bed.

A Safe Rerun

Well, not all summer reruns have to be sick or disturbing. Some can be funny without being dirty; exciting without being violent. Some reruns even feature a monkey.

Since some of you are new to The Recovering Legalist, you may have missed early episodes of Monday Monkey. So, I hope you enjoy a couple of my favorites while the production team revamps and renews. In a few weeks Monday Monkey will be back with some new episodes worthy of the wait.

“Monkey at the Wheel” (Episode 2)

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by | May 7, 2012 · 12:05 am

Monday Monkey “At the Zoo” (Episode 22)

Multi-tasking

I am not a great multi-tasker. Once, in an emergency, I was forced to answer a phone, while cleaning house and preparing lunch for a small child – at the same time! Do you realize how difficult that is? I ended up in the hospital!

On the other hand, I do drive a school bus, which requires me to do a great many things at once.

  • Drive a 33,000 lb. vehicle
  • Yell
  • Communicate on a 2-way radio
  • Wipe perspiration (sweat) from my eyes
  • Watch 20 crumb-crunchers in a rear-view mirror doing everything they can to distract me from my primary job (see first thing on list)
  • Tell multiple stories to kindergartners, both true and fictional, but especially fictional (about aliens from outer space taking over the bodies of teenage girls)

Making Videos

I guess making Monday Monkey videos require a little multi-tasking, too.  This week I had so much reading and writing to do that I actually broke a blood vessel in my right eye (no joke). I was so swamped, I didn’t know what to do, but I still had to work.

So, when I had to drive a field trip to the Chattanooga Zoo, I knew it would be the perfect time to take Buddy (Mr. Monkey). Maybe I am better at multi-tasking than I give myself credit. Maybe I am as good as my wife? No, I wouldn’t go that far.

Monkey Talks to Monkeys

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by | April 23, 2012 · 12:00 am

Monday Monkey “The Mirror” (Episode 20)

Can you believe this is the 20th episode of Monday Monkey?!

Woo Hoo! Let’s go swing from a tree! Or a light fixture. Anyone have cake? A card with money?

Anyway, I have been under a lot of deadlines, so I apologize for no video over the last few weeks. This one was just thrown together, though. I knew I had to post something, or my fans might seek other monkeys on Monday. Wouldn’t that be a shame?

The Mirror

http://youtu.be/T_dWQGN1rEo

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