Monday Without a Monkey

Where’s the Monkey?

Believe it or not, I am not a total goof. I do have a life outside of the warmth of that stitched glove with arms, legs, ears, eyes, and a big mouth – the furry glove called “Mr. Monkey.”

Yet, some people ask, “If it’s Monday, where’s the monkey?”  The answer is that every once in a while I have to step away from my partnership with the “unregenerate ape” in order to pursue other activities.

Whatcha Doin’?

Have you ever been trying to enjoy a day off from work, or maybe a simple dentist appointment, when you got a phone call asking, “Hey, whatcha doin’?

Because I’m a popular guy, you see, I get that question all the time. I get calls from work, church, church members, family, friends, would-be friends, friends-of-friends, my kid’s friends, and people who say they know me. They all want to know what I am doing.

What’s more, as a pastor I am always on call, so my cell phone had to be surgically implanted (I won’t say where). Calls come in all the time from people wanting to know what I’m doing, and they always come at a time when I have to lie, like…

  • When I am in the section of a store that sells stuff my daughters are too embarrassed to purchase on their own.
  • When I am in the bathroom.
  • When I am watching a movie when I should be doing something productive, like washing dishes, or killing an elk.
  • or, When marriage proves to be more than a friendly relationship.

But if you were to call this week or the next, you’d get the following answers…

  • Finishing three six-page papers and one 15 page research paper due by the 11th.
  • Finishing another research paper that requires a presentation with Power Point.
  • Taking my little girl to do something destructive, like shooting tin cans, or knife throwing.
  • Taking my 16-year-old daughter to the recording studio to work on her first project.
  • Studying for at least 6 sermons.
  • Driving a school bus.
  • Writing posts for
  • Recording a radio broadcast.
  • Meeting with church staff to map out some future plans.
  • Attending my daughter’s last two volley ball games.
  • Spending more time in prayer.
  • and, trimming my eyebrows.

Whatcha’ NOT Doin’?

What I will not be doing is making any promises to do anything else. Now, according to an email I got the other day, this blog is supposed to be featured on the WordPress “Just Pressed” page. If that actually happens, I’ll be doing a dance in front of my computer, but you will NOT see it.

Most of all, I will not be goofing around with Mr. Monkey for a little while. Not only Mondays, but every other day of the week will be crazy. So, if you call, expect a busy signal.



Filed under Humor, Monday Monkey

9 responses to “Monday Without a Monkey

  1. roy cavender

    So you’re busy too.

  2. Hi, I’m a new blogger and just found your blog through “Just Pressed.” Congratulations, by the way. What a breath of fresh air your site is! I’ll be stopping by and maybe one day will work up the guts to share an opinion. I’m still a little gun-shy of being blasted by fellow Christians, but people seem to be respectful and open on this site. Could be a good place to test the waters. 🙂

    • You’ll get nothing but respect from me. I can’t guarantee what atheists may say.

      Thanks for stopping by.

      • As an evil atheist, I enjoy providing Anthony’s readers with recipes for eating human babies. Everyone knows atheists consume children anyway, so I’ve decided to just come out and embrace the lifestyle! My favorite is a Mexican-style burrito with blackened poblano and smoked baby.

        In all seriousness though…I checked out your blog. Looks tasty! …even without the baby 😉

        I am going to try out that recipe for the lime chicken tacos soon! In return, I would be happy to provide some tips on how to make food photography really pop!

        Have a great day!

      • Haha! Oh dear, I’m afraid I made it sound really bad. I meant I was worried about other readers, but that what I’d read looked like they were all respectful. If I were worried about you, I wouldn’t have bothered commenting at all. I look forward to reading your posts and interacting with you and your readers.

  3. Hey, on Tuesday can you come and rake my leaves? And on Wednesday, I need someone to clean out the gutters. You can have Thursday off, but Friday you need to babysit the kids so Eric and I can go out for dinner.

    Thanks in advance.

    • Riiiiiiight. Let me check my…oh, I’m sorry. I am a little busy that week. But hey, if you and Eric want to go out on the town in Chattanooga, feel free to drop off the kids. Between my two daughters, three little dogs, and a DVD player, I won’t have to do a thing.

  4. heather joy

    I’m currently trying to get caught up on all the posts I missed over the past couple of weeks — my inbox was kinda exploding with all the new post notifications from the blogs i follow.

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