Category Archives: Monday Monkey

by | September 7, 2015 · 6:30 am

Mr. Monkey Meets Freaya

Children Will Beg

Some of the kids on my school bus are now driving me crazy with my own songs! Literally, they get on the bus singing them and they get off the bus singing them. What songs am I talking about? Songs from my Monday Monkey videos.

Which one do they sing the most? “Whadaya Do When Your Monkey Has the Hiccups?” If I’ve heard “whack ’em in the the head with a Barbie doll” once, I’ve heard it a hundred times.

Yet, more than just songs are heard on a daily basis. They ask me, “When are you going to make another monkey video, Mr. Baker?” Nearly every day I hear it. I must appease them.

A New Video

So, after a long absence, Mr. Monkey is back with a new Monday Monkey video. It is a short little video – more of a commercial, I suppose – introducing our new (yet sadly temporary) family member, Freaya. She is a foreign exchange student from Montana (at least that’s what I tell people to throw them off).

As we see it around here, if you want to be part of this family, you must appear in at least one Monday Monkey video. The more the better – at least from my perspective.

https://youtu.be/HtZAR2Txun4

Now, the next thing is to figure out what to do next. Maybe Mr. Monkey will have a taste of the seasoned seaweed Freaya brought with her? Maybe Freaya can teach Mr. Monkey how to use chopsticks instead of a fork?

Do you have any suggestions? I’m having screenwriter block.

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by | July 7, 2015 · 11:24 pm

Spew-Worthy News

Coffee and Donuts

This evening I stopped by Krispy Kreme to buy some donuts and coffee for my wife and me (Actually, the coffee was for me – she hates coffee). We did so in order to celebrate something special, but I can’t tell you what the special thing was – it was just special.

kk-hot-signAnyway, we got donuts…I got coffee. That’s all you need to know about that part.

By the way, tonight was the first night I ever saw a deformed donut come off the line. It made me wonder if Krispy Kreme had a museum somewhere to keep the really unique ones.

The News

A short time later, as we were pulling into our driveway at home, I retrieved my recently-purchased coffee from the cup holder and brought it up to my lips. It was at this time a story came over the news which was then playing on the car radio. Permit me to paraphrase what I heard…

“Due to a recent surge in deaths, Russia is launching a new public awareness campaign to advise people of the dangers of taking selfies…”

Right about now I had brought my disposable paper cup full of black coffee to my lips and had begun to fill my mouth with said black coffee. The story continued, though, before I could swallow the ounce or two now bringing pleasure to my palate…

“The Russian government is using graphics to warn people that it is not safe to take selfies while standing on railroad tracks, putting a gun to one’s head, or while standing beside a tiger…”

I almost spit the entire contents of my mouth – the previously-mentioned black coffee – onto my steering wheel!

Tigers? …What the heck!?

Now, it wouldn’t surprise me to read about some dude from Alabama taking a selfie with a gun to his head. I mean, after all, do you know what the most common last words of a redneck are? “Hey! Watch this!”

Sure, I’ve taken selfies with a monkey, even made whole videos (see below)! And yes, I’ve even taken a few calculated risks – like the time I filmed on the beach…and at the zoo…and in a real hospital…etc.

But a tiger? Only in Russia.Β 

Here’s the story.Β Just don’t be drinking coffee when you read it.

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by | March 2, 2015 · 5:45 pm

The Abomidable Snow Monkey

Pardon me, but this post is a test of WordPress’ upgraded smartphone app. 

The snow came suddenly, along with the frigid air that chilled my blood. But nothing could cause me to freeze in fear than a face-to-face encounter with the mythical, yet now all-too-real, Abomidable Snow Monkey. 

I had been in my study studying, which is what I always swear I’m doing when I leave the estrogenated atmosphere of home for a few hours, when I finally had to break away from the parchments (wouldn’t you love to diagram a sentence like this?). So, up from my chair I arose, away from my desk I stepped, eventually exiting the mine in which I readily dig for wisdom. Into the cold I went, at first greeted with a refreshing breath of refreshingly refreshing cold air, then shocked with a chilling terror – the Abomidable Monkey. 

ο»Ώ

ο»ΏThere it was, backdropped by a hillside of tombstones, proof that fur and fear can inhabit the same flanneled square foot. What was I to do but slowly raise my iPhone and take a creative picture?

He/it stared. I stared back with nary a word. Then, like a couple of drifting snow flakes, we softly walked away, as if snow flakes could walk. 

I will never forget that snowy day. And I’ll never again lay a wet with snow monkey on my office chair, either. 

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by | February 25, 2015 · 6:37 pm

Wednesday Monkey

It has been a while, and a few of you have been asking, so I figured I shouldn’t waste an opportunity for Mr. Monkey to play in the snow.

The only problem? I had to get out in the snow with him – and get snowed on.

So, here it is…totally unscheduled and impromtuitiously made…a new Monday Monkey video…

…on a Wednesday.

Oh, and that’s my school bus in the background. Think I’ll be driving it tomorrow? Are you kidding?! This is the South!

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by | February 13, 2015 · 7:00 am

Valentinerie’s Song

Yesterday was my wife’s birthday; tomorrow will be Valentine’s Day. Is it any wonder her name is Valerie? Valerie sounds a lot better than Valentinerie, though.

Valentinerie. I think I’ll go down to the maternity ward tomorrow and pass that name around.

Anyway, I wrote Valentinerie…excuse me, Valerie…a song several years ago (You can be the judge of how much was truly autobiographical). When I couldn’t figure out how to film myself doing a music video, I went to work with marker, paper, Monkey, and iPhone.

Here is the chocolate-covered fruit of my labor (I said labor…I’ve really got to get down to that maternity ward tomorrow).

“Try Me”

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Just remember, the truest example of love is God’s love for us. May we love others with such extravagance (1 John 4:19-21).

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by | December 8, 2014 · 1:56 pm

Mr. Monkey Endorses My Book

If you have been waiting to hear glowing endorsements before purchasing my new book Life Lessons from the School Bus, then wait no longer.

On today’s edition of “Monday Monkey” Mr. Monkey will share a few words regarding the book and our friendship.

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by | December 1, 2014 · 6:00 am

An Interview With Mr. Monkey

It’s Monday!

Normally, in the real world, declaring it is Monday does not bring squeals of joy. However, this is the world of the Recovering Legalist, and I’m not a sour puss.

IT’S MONDAY!! Do you know what that means? Yes, it is time for a brand spanking new Monday Monkey video

The world may be burning, but there’s only so many fire extinguishers to go around, anyway. Chill out. Have fun for a few minutes. Laugh.

Yesterday, before I drove Katie (a.k.a. Piper Smokestack) back to school, she interviewed Mr. Monkey. The last time she did anything like that was when she was reporting on Mr. Monkey losing his banana.

But here’s the thing: Mr. Monkey now has a Twitter account! He will be staying in touch and answering fan mail. Just go to @MonkeyBuddy1984.

Now, tomorrow we can talk about some more serious stuff, if that kinda stuff floats your boat.

In the meantime, watch the video again, share it, then go buy one of my books. That will make us all have a great Monday πŸ˜‰

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by | May 12, 2014 · 9:33 am

Monday Monkey Re-Run

It’s a Monday and some of you need a smile. It’s been a while since this was last posted, but it’s worthy of a re-run.

One of the greatest country songs to come out of Nashville in the last, oh, 20 years was Jesus Take the Wheel.

This video is not meant to make fun of that song, so I hope Carrie Underwood doesn’t hate me when she sees this (I hope she see this).

This episode/edition of “Monday Monkey” pays tribute to Jesus Take the Wheel, while at the same time making fun of Monday-morning drivers.

“There’s a Monkey at the Wheel”

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by | February 12, 2014 · 8:05 pm

The Voice of the Video

Yes, I know this is the 3rd post in one day, but it’s been snowing. What else was I supposed to do?

The Video

It was only my second Monday Monkey video, but it still remains to be one of my favorites.

“There’s a Monkey at the Wheel” was my first music video, but I was not the one singing. As a matter of fact, I got a former American Idol contestant to do the vocals!

If you haven’t seen it, have fun watching it for the first time…or the second, or third, or fourth πŸ˜‰

The Voice

Lauren Huckabee, Mr. Monkey, and Me

Lauren Huckabee, Mr. Monkey, and Me

The voice behind this video was a young lady named Lauren Huckabee. The reason I bring this up now is because Lauren is singing with a group that is rising rapidly up the gospel charts, Rhonda Frye and Riverside.

On top of that, Lauren has published her first blog post. In it she shares her past, one full of drugs, alcohol, and danger. But more than that, she gives glory to God for sparing her life and giving her hope.

Please read Lauren’s story and pray for her. And, if you get a chance, listen to the real music she’s doing. I’m sure you will like it just as much, if not more, than any parody I’ve done.

Click HERE to read Lauren’s Story.

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by | January 6, 2014 · 1:24 am

Walk Slowly (another Monday Monkey episode!)

Surely you have seen it…the heroes of a movie walking slowly toward the screen.

Remember The Right Stuff? Remember how the astronauts, wearing their space suits, walked slowly through the steam?

Remember the scene in the 2005 movie Kicking and Screaming where Will Ferrell and his young soccer team, covered in blood after a day at the butcher shop, walked onto the field? They walked slowly, of course, and scared the other team into forfeiting.

Whenever want to make an on-screen impression that says, “I’m bad and I mean business,” walk toward the camera in slow motion. It never fails.

Oh! I almost forgot! You’ve also got to have some cool music with some punch and a good bass riff as a background track. Fortunately for me, iMovie had one I could use πŸ˜‰

That’s why today’s Monday Monkey, the 1st one of 2014, kicks “beehind” (Baptist dirty word) and takes names.

Walk Slowly

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