Category Archives: General Observations

Just things I see that make me think.

by | September 15, 2016 · 6:30 am

Bumper Stickers

The following was first published in November of 2010. I do miss having my own “Ride.”

“The Ride”

My wife will not let me put a bumper sticker of any kind on her car.  Even if she was driving a rusty Chevy Vega which desperately needed the qualities of something with adhesive properties to keep her bumper stuck to her car…no bumper stickers.  Not so with my Ride.  I don’t need no stinkin’ sticky things!  Just staples and zip ties, thank you.  Really, what I mean to say is that “The Ride” is not too good to advertise TheRecoveringLegalist.com, even though my wife thinks her car is too special.  HA!

Bumper stickers are something akin to free advertisement…

…They promote whatever you want other people to know about you and what you think, or for that matter, how well your kids think.  Plastered to the back of a rolling billboard, they catch the eye of total strangers who have the random chance to find themselves behind you and I in traffic, or who catch a glimpse in a parking garage.  Some people, I have come to realize, are advertizing more than they know, for some bumper stickers betray a hidden (at least to the owner of the car) stupidity.

There are so many bumper stickers that scream “MORON!”

Here is one that I saw.  What a profound question.  Why do we kill people that kill people?  Could it be that we don’t want them to killpeople again?  Could it be that they deserve to die for taking an innocent child’s life?  Could it be that there are those out there on parole who would love to shoot your stupid…..(calm yourself, Anthony)…..well, they would love to steal your car and leave you beside the road in a ditch, then drive away with your false advertisement on THEIR bumper.

The one that I would have to say gets me the most, maybe because I see it the most, is COEXIST.  I just love all the little symbols that are used to make up the happy little plea for love and harmony.  Too bad what it tells me is that the owner of the car is a blooming idiot, at the very least, or somehow an ostrich has learned how to drive with his head in the sand.  The message behind the little sticker is really, “Hey you Christians!  Can you quit being so narrow-minded and hateful?  Don’t you know that we all just want to get along, but you keep screwing it up?”  All religions are the same, you know, or that’s the idea.  We are all worshipping the same god, just by a different name.  All paths lead to heaven, it’s just that some choose to take a shortcut by blowing themselves to Allah in the name of Jihad…is that so wrong?

Tell that to the “C”

I like the following verse. Psalm 107:2 says, “Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy…”  As Christians, we should be speaking out about the goodness and mercy of our God, not trying to seek favor with false gods by “COEXISTing” in perfect joy and mutual admiration.  People in this country have the right to free speech and to freedom of religion, but if you haven’t noticed, we are in a real religious war.  The “C” doesn’t like the “T” in that bumper sticker.  If you’re going to put something on your bumper, make it something that points people down the narrow road, not the wide one that leads to destruction.  Show your intelligence and advertize your faith…just don’t be tacky and weird about it…or then we get back into the looking-like-a-moron thing that my wife so desperately wants to avoid.

Now here’s an idea for the “perfect” bumper sticker!

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by | September 13, 2016 · 6:25 am

Simply Spoiled

I just want to illustrate how spoiled we are with a simple story.

One morning not too long ago I woke up a little late and had to get ready to go to work. Because I woke up late, I didn’t have time to fix any breakfast, not even a cup of coffee. Needless to say, that made me a little irritated.

I was short with my wife, who I woke up shortly after me, because I couldn’t find her purse. I needed at least a dollar or two to buy cup of coffee that morning, because, I mean, seriously, it was going to be another two hours before I could get a cup of coffee at home. All I was asking for was a cup of coffee…not breakfast…I could eat breakfast in a couple of hours.

So, a little later there I was, sitting on the school bus, waiting for my next route, knowing it was going to be a couple of hours before having a cup coffee, or anything to eat… and I was irritated.

How do I know I was (and am) spoiled? I was acting all upset when I should have been thankful!

  • image

    A Family in Zimbabwe.

    I woke up.

  • I was able to get out of bed.
  • I woke up in a house, not a box.
  • My wife is alive and still living with me.
  • I had running water.
  • I’m fully dressed.
  • I have a job.
  • I have a bottle of clean water to drink, which is more clean water than a lot of people see in a lifetime.
  • I only had to wait two hours for a cup of coffee and some food when some people may have to wait two days…or more.
  • I’m writing all of this on a computer. I have a computer with internet, unlike millions of people. I don’t have to take a crowded bus into town just to use the internet.

So, there you have it…simply spoiled and ungrateful. God forgive me! God have mercy on us all!

 

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by | September 9, 2016 · 7:00 am

She Might Be Flirting If…

The following is Part 2 of a 3-part series I wrote back in Sept. of 2013. I hope you’re enjoying it 😉

Stay With Me

Yesterday, taking a sharp turn from the direction I usually go, I wrote a post dealing with how men flirt. Today I am going to write about how women flirt, or at least my thoughts on the subject. But before you run off thinking The Recovering Legalist is becoming Vanity Fair or The Huffington Post, let me reassure you: there is a point to my madness.

Yesterday was about men. Today will be about women (or at least my understanding and perceptions of the creatures). Tomorrow will be about… Well, you’ll just have to come back tomorrow to find out. Just stay with me on this, OK?

More Nonsense

I scoured the web this morning looking for sources and I found several. However, unlike yesterday, I will give you the links at the bottom of the page, just so you’ll know I am not making this stuff up. Essentially there are a lot of websites and magazines with published articles dealing with “how to know if a woman is flirting.” But once again, several of the clues are deceptive.

Are you a nice person? Do you smile at people? Do you look people in the eye when you speak? Then you’d better watch out, somebody may think you are flirting!

The following are said to be clues that a woman is flirting, guys. So watch out, especially if she is one of those Proverbs 7 women (that’s not good).

  1. She’s staring at you. Never mind that you might have a piece of chicken in your tooth, or you may look like a suspected criminal, if a woman is staring at you, you might be daddy material.
  2. She smiles at you. According to the experts, yelling, screaming, hateful, and even non-emotional women are safe. It’s the ones that are smiling at you that should make you concerned (or excited). That means every girl that works at Chick-fil-A wants to take you on a date.
  3. sinead oconnerShe plays with her hair. Supposedly, if a woman fiddles with her hair – twirls it in her finger while talking or listening to you – she is flirting. Sinead O’Conner, therefore, will be hard to read, I suppose.
  4. She touches you. Normally, I would give credence to this one. However, some people are just “touchy” people. Some women have a motherly instinct that demands they straighten every tie and remove every piece of lint. So, don’t get creeped out when Granny brushes your shoulder.
  5. She draws attention to her body. Seriously? What woman does not try to draw attention to her body, or at least parts of it? What is makeup for? How long has it been since women have striven to be modest? Good grief, with the way women dress today, the only women not flirting are wearing long blue jean skirts (but they usually have long hair, so watch out for the twirling)!

My Experience

What do I think? How do I believe a man can tell if a woman is flirting? From my experience, which is admittedly limited, I believe there are a few legitimate, full-proof signs. Let me share them with you, but in a more Jeff Foxworthy-ish style…

  • If a woman looks at you with her eyes, she might be flirting.
  • If a woman throws the rock back at you from across the playground, she might be flirting.
  • If a woman asks you to sip something she is drinking, she is definitely flirting.
  • If a woman bites her lip when you wear chocolate-scented cologne, she just has a hankering for chocolate.
  • If a woman says you are ugly, she might be flirting.
  • If a woman says, “I wouldn’t go out with you in a million years,” all the while maintaining an incredulous smirk of disdain, ask her out again next week: she might be flirting with you.
  • If you happen to be wrestling (pronounced “wrasling”) around on the floor, and the girl you are pretending to let beat you up actually breaks your finger and then says, “OH, did I do that? I’m sorry!”… I’ll let you figure that one out. I just married her.

Well, my wife just asked me if I could tell when she was flirting, so I guess I will bring this post to a close. Just be careful, men.

The last thing you want to do is misinterpret a woman’s intentions. 

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by | September 8, 2016 · 8:46 pm

Signs of Flirting?

The following is Part 1 of a 3-part series originally written in Sept. of 2013. I thought it would be a good time to repeat it.

Uncomfortable Topic

OK, so this is not a subject I normally discuss, but I feel I must say something.

I have seen several pieces in the news about how to know when a man is flirting, but the signs leave me a little puzzled. I mean, I am a man, so I should have some knowledge of when I am flirting, correct? But, evidently, I may be flirting when I don’t know it!

I don’t remember the sources for the following, but if you want to, just Google them (It is not my intention to plagiarize, but I am not getting graded on a paper, applying for a job, or getting paid for this post, so I’m not going to worry too much at this point). Here are…

Ten (supposed) ways to know a man is flirting with you:

  1. flirtingHe makes eye contact when he talks.
  2. He touches his face.
  3. He laughs at a girl’s jokes.
  4. He messes with his own hair.
  5. He tries to gain your attention.
  6. He leans in closer when you talk.
  7. He touches you on the shoulder.
  8. He always has a smile.
  9. He puts his hands on his waist.
  10. He throws rocks at you from across the playground.

Analysis of List

First, I always thought that I was supposed to make eye contact when talking with someone. Does this mean that every time I look someone in the eyes I am flirting? I guess I am going to have to revert back to my insecure, shifty-eye days.

Second, what if a guy feels bugs crawling on his face and in his hair? Should #2 and #4 on the list be avoided? I mean, if I get an itch, does that mean a woman is going to slap me?

Third, maybe guys are just being nice, you know? I try to smile at everybody’s jokes, don’t you? Sometimes a girl can be funny, even when she is ugly as a burnt tree.

Attention? What’s wrong with trying to get someone’s attention? Sure, there are different ways to do that, but come on! Just because I honk my horn at a lady walking down the street does not mean I want a date; there may be a tiger behind her, or a hole in front of her. The right thing to do is warn her.

Next (is this fifth?), the reason I lean in closer to a girl is because I am deaf from all the head-banging Southern Gospel music I have played.

Sixth, I may put my hands on my waist, but it might only mean I am disgusted with you. I would hardly call that flirting. But if I do put my hand on your shoulder, it might mean that I am secretly trying to see if the Vulcan grip really works.

Seventh, I always smile. Not really. That’s a lie.

Eighthly, ninethly, and tenthly, if I throw a rock at you on the playground, then I am absolutely flirting. Every boy knows that’s the way you let a girl know you like her. But since I am married, and since flirting with other women could cause my wife to do bad things to me in my sleep, I will keep my rocks to myself.

One Other Thing

There was one other sign that I did not include in the above list, but was in one article I read: “If a guy plays footsies with you in the sand, he might be flirting.”

If a guy starts rubbing his feet all over yours, that’s not a sign of flirting, people; that’s something way more. Ladies (and I am talking to women at this point), either get wedding invitations ready, or make use of a well-placed knee. You need no other signs.

Your welcome. 

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by | August 29, 2016 · 10:27 pm

A Bible and a Belt

Just doing some scrolling through Facebook, that’s when I came across the following video by a wonderful couple, the wife now gone on to be with the Lord. I think it’s worth watching.

You see, I am from a different time…a different era…a different generation. I came along before “seeker friendly” was a thing, and when “time out” was only something you took between work …or between rounds.

We look at our communities these days and wonder what to do. As I drove my school bus this afternoon I can’t tell you how many gang signs and hand shakes I saw exchanged. There wasn’t a single respectful word returned in exchange for anything I said, not even when I said, “Good morning.” And all I hear talk about is more programs and tax dollars.

We’ve got a victim-minded society that is rearing self-indulgent, over-entitled, spoiled, angry, unloved, snotty-nosed brats with no moral compass and a hatred for anything wholesome. Then, when one of the little darlings doesn’t get his way we blame the gun he uses in the crime he commits and attack the cop who arrested him.

What’s wrong? Maybe we should quit depending on the village to raise our kids and get back to using a Bible and a belt. It worked for my generation. It’ll work for this one.

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by | August 29, 2016 · 7:16 am

Oppressed?

Please forgive me, Mr. Kaepernick, but I find it hard to understand how a group of people who are allowed to openly protest, disrupt with near impunity, obtain special status in nearly every institution, have the freedom to speak whenever and wherever, and are allowed to openly dinigrate other groups as a whole can rightfully claim to be oppressed by their government and/or police forces who protect their said rights.

I guess spending some time in Africa gave me a different perspective.

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by | August 5, 2016 · 4:18 am

The President Is a Feminist. He Said It, Not Me

Glamour

The President of the United States wrote a lengthy and heart-felt essay for Glamour magazine. In it he…

wait…

Vintage Obama, per the Glamour essay.

Vintage Obama, per the Glamour essay.

Stop and think about what I just wrote, OK? The leader of the free world, arguably the most powerful man on Earth (arguably), just wrote a lengthy essay specifically for Glamour. Is there nothing about that very thought that turns your stomach, or am I the only one who feels that way?

Anyway, President Barack H. Obama wrote a lengthy, heart-felt essay for a women’s magazine…

wait…

I mean, handbags…holographic fingernails…makeup…”weed” tampons (I’m not joking)…outfit ideas…Kris Jenner’s closet…and not to mention dating and sex advice…and this is the one place the President choses to submit an essay? I just don’t get it.

Where have all the men of this country gone to? Where the heck are they going? What was the purpose of this lengthy, heart-felt essay?

President Obama took the time to submit a lengthy, heart-felt essay explaining how he, the President, is a feminist.

Gag.  Me.  With.  A.  Spoon.

What Women Want?

Besides earning brownie points with all his Hollywood BFF’s, Obama made it clear his feminism has set the standard for what all girls should expect out of a man…a world leader…a petty dictator…and all fathers.

“Michelle and I have raised our daughters to speak up when they see a double standard or feel unfairly judged based on their gender or race—or when they notice that happening to someone else. It’s important for them to see role models out in the world who climb to the highest levels of whatever field they choose. And yes, it’s important that their dad is a feminist, because now that’s what they expect of all men.” – President Barack Obama

God in heaven help us. Whatever happened to “where the men were men and the women were glad of it“?

A Few Points

First, however you want to define it, the most important thing for a daughter is to have a godly, consistent, faithful, wife-cherishing provider who will charge hell with a water pistol in order to protect his little girl. She doesn’t need a mom-jean-wearing pansy who’s just “one of the girls.” Daughters need a father who’s a man, a real man, and not ashamed of it.

Secondly, I certainly hope the women of the future wise up, because if a feminist is all they expect out of a man, there are going to be a whole lot of disappointed females looking for love in all the wrong places.

Third, the biblical model for manliness is one of ultimate self-sacrifice and total, unwavering faithfulness. It is one that sets the highest standard for unconditional love and respect. Mr. Obama, if you really, really cared for your daughters and all the women of the world you would point them toward God’s design for men and women, not Gloria Steinbeck’s.

Now, I think it’s time for a Clint Eastwood movie.

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by | July 8, 2016 · 12:46 am

All Lives Matter. Period. Including Police.

A Re-Post

The following is a re-post of something I wrote not long ago. The reason for re-posting it should be obvious – multiple Dallas, Texas police officers shot and killed tonight (July 7th, 2016) at a Black Lives Matter demonstration.

From NBCnews.com. Dallas Police swarm city looking for snipers.

More deaths of blacks have happened at the hands of police in the last day or two, and that is horrible. It’s horrible on several levels, not just that cops killed blacks, but that people, whatever the color, were killed. It’s horrible because even if the police did something wrong, activist groups are rising up and calling for civil chaos and blaming ALL police for atrocities. It’s horrible because we don’t know the whole story behind any of these deaths, because even when information is available, the hate in the black community has already assumed to be judge, jury, and now…from roof tops in Dallas…some have become executioner.

Folks, hate the police all you want, but try to go a week without any on the streets and see what happens. Go to the places where cops fear to tread and look at the quality of life. BLUE LIVES MATTER, too!

Because ALL LIVES MATTER!

So, here’s my previous post, and it’s never been more timely. You might also like to go to the sermon archives page and listen to a message I preached back in September of 2015. The idea there was that all lives matter, and the proof is John 3:16.

A Prayer

Lord, please help me. Help me, dear God, to say, or rather write, something profitable, something worth reading on this most difficult topic of race.

I need wisdom. I need guidance. May my words contribute to healing, not hate.

My Thoughts

I have not been writing as much as I would like, but I felt it necessary to take a few moments to address the whole idea around the rallying cry of “Black Lives Matter.”

Folks, being that I am not black, brown, or transgender (somehow gender has been added to the mix – just check out the website), I admit there are things I don’t understand. But there is one thing I do understand, and my race has nothing to do with this truth: ALL lives matter, not just ones with a particular color or sexual preference.

Let me reiterate. ALL LIVES MATTER.

Yes, I said it, and I will not back down. Why? Because to do so would be un-biblical and un-Christlike. Regardless how one might want to politicize the issue, as a follower of Jesus, as one who believes God made all mankind in His image, I must stand firmly on Truth, not catchphrases.

Racism is wrong. Bigotry is wrong. And taking a statement that excludes the inherent value of all human life as your mantra is also wrong.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and I would not have agreed on several things, particularly in areas of theology and what is called the “social gospel.” Nevertheless, I believe Dr. King and I would have seen eye-to-eye regarding the “Black Lives Matter” thing. He would have said, “NO! NO! NO!” to all the violence and hatred. I believe he would be heartbroken at all the calls for unrest. He would certainly be ashamed of those who have used race as a tool for their own gain. Was it not Dr. King who envisioned a “color-blind” society?

If a person can’t say that “all lives matter” in public without being condemned, without being forced to apologize, then what does that say about the lives of others? What about my family? What about the Asian family down the road? Or the Indian woman that walks down the street with her husband and son? What about the Native American?

I guess one could argue the phrase is only meant to bring attention to the plight of the black community in America. One could also argue that by saying “all lives matter” one is, in a way, saying racism in America doesn’t exist. Possibly. But that’s a matter of opinion.

The truth is that black lives do matter, but so do white lives, brown lives, yellow lives, and red lives; “red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight.” The proof was when Jesus offered Himself as a ransom so that every tribe and nation could be reconciled with God.

All lives matter. Period.

 

 

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by | July 5, 2016 · 3:16 pm

BREAKING: My Immediate Response to the FBI Announcement Regarding Clinton Emails

If You Care

First, I don’t know if you care what I think, or not. Honestly, you are probably going to think and believe whatever you think and believe right now, regardless of what I say. Nevertheless, I have a blog, therefore I will speak my mind.

Secondly, I don’t know if you care about what the director of the FBI just said about the presumptive presidential candidate for the Democrat Party, Hillary R. Clinton. Regardless, this is my cyber-pulpit, so I’m going to speak.

Thirdly, I don’t know if you care one drop of spit for what goes on in our legal system. For all I know, you trust the justice departments, both locally and nationally, implicitly. Maybe you don’t trust any government or authority figure at all. That doesn’t matter today – I’m going to give you my two, small, worthless cents.

If you care, keep reading.

Faith and Trust

Folks, it all comes down to trust. Can you trust your legal system, your representatives, your congressmen and senators? Can you trust the policeman on the corner, the judge ruling on a case, or the word of the one who says, “Don’t worry, I have your back”?

Trust was the issue in the following verses. Actually, you can take it even farther and say that FAITH is the issue. God has set the standard for government and law enforcement.

Lev 19:36 – Just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin, shall ye have: I [am] the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt.
Deu 25:13 – Thou shalt not have in thy bag divers weights, a great and a small.
Pro 16:11 – A just weight and balance [are] the LORD’S: all the weights of the bag [are] his work.
Pro 20:10 – Divers weights, [and] divers measures, both of them [are] alike abomination to the LORD.

Should the language of the old King James be too difficult for you to understand, maybe the following from the New Living Translation (NLT) will make is simple.

Lev 19:36 NLT – Your scales and weights must be accurate. Your containers for measuring dry materials or liquids must be accurate. I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt.
Deu 25:16 NLT – All who cheat with dishonest weights and measures are detestable to the LORD your God.
Pro 16:11 NLT – The LORD demands accurate scales and balances; he sets the standards for fairness.
Pro 20:10 NLT – False weights and unequal measures–the LORD detests double standards of every kind.

Did you get the last part of the last verse in the NLT? It says, “the LORD detests double standards of every kind.” In other words, it is an “abomination” when people can’t count on recognized standards to be consistent.

From our United States Constitution:

Article IV, Section 1:

Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.

So here’s the problem presented in a question:

How can the government be trusted on any level when at the very top it’s leaders are not held to the same standards as their fellow citizens, the ones they are supposed to represent?

The answer is simple: They can’t. And why was this such a big deal with God? Because He is the Righteous Judge, and all institutions acting under His authority should reflect His character – the LORD does NOT approve of weighted scales.

valueSince the 1990’s the American people have witnessed the Clinton’s Teflon-like machine avoid judgment for anything. Did they do all the things they’ve been accused of doing? Who knows? All we people really know is that in the last week all the people involved in the current scandal have given off the appearance that something very weighty was placed on one side of the scales of Justice. From Jessica Flowers to Monica Lewinsky; from cattle futures to emails: the weights in the bag are always changing (Deut. 25:13).

So, whether the DOJ, the FBI, the White House, or the State Department are telling the truth, or not, there’s no way to know, because the scales and balances have been questioned for so long! Just consider the fact that General David Petraeus, former head of the CIA, was forced to step down in disgrace, and all he was charged with was “mishandling classified information.” What did the Director of the FBI say of Mrs. Clinton in today’s briefing?

“To be clear, this is not to suggest that in similar circumstances (i.e., if someone else were being weighed on these scales), a person who engaged in this activity would face no consequences. To the contrary, those individuals are often subject to security or administrative sanctions.”  – FBI Director James B. Comey (click here for link to full statement)

“But that is not what we are deciding now,” he said. No, the decision on whether or not to prosecute, or even slap a wrist, is going to be left up to the lead prosecutor in the country, Loretta Lynch, who just last week had a lengthy, private conversation with former President Bill Clinton on her airplane. And they only talked about their grandchildren. Of course.

If Justice was truly blind…if we are supposed to place our “full faith and credit” in a government which is “of the people, by the people, and for the people”… then maybe THIS circumstance should be treated the same as all other “similar circumstances.” If that would happen, maybe, just maybe, faith and trust wouldn’t be in such short supply.

The LORD ain’t the only one who hates double standards.

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by | July 5, 2016 · 12:09 am

Alcohol and Fireworks: A Retrospective

Things reportedly heard on July 4th…

after a long day of BBQ…

and a few too many “adult beverages”…

before, during, and after shooting off fireworks.

  • Wooooooooo!
  • ‘Merica!
  • Don’t point that at me!
  • Launch it from yer hand! You chicken?
  • Woooooooo!
  • Yeah!!! Stick one in the fire ant mound!
  • Daaaaayam, bro! Does it hurt?
  • We need to save some of these to shoot down the drones.
  • Roll Tide!
  • Hey, man! Where’s the gasoline?
  • I’ll light it…you hold it.
  • How fast is the fuse?
  • Anybody seen the baby?
  • Put it on your head! I dare ya!
  • Dude! Get the Roman candles! I got an idea!
  • I bet you can’t hit me with it!
  • Duuuuude. Just don’t tell anybody, man.
  • Hey! Watch this!
  • You ain’t hurt. Just stick it in the cooler…it won’t burn long.
  • Hold still a second! I wanna take a picture of it!
  • I made this one, myself! Just light it and run.
  • If I look at it, it’ll start hurting. What’s it look like?
  • Anybody know the number for 911?

A word to the wise: Drinking and explosives don’t mix.

 

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