Alcohol and Fireworks: A Retrospective

Things reportedly heard on July 4th…

after a long day of BBQ…

and a few too many “adult beverages”…

before, during, and after shooting off fireworks.

• Wooooooooo!

• ‘Merica!

• Don’t point that at me!

• Launch it from yer hand! You chicken?

• Woooooooo!

• Yeah!!! Stick one in the fire ant mound!

• Daaaaayam, bro! Does it hurt?

• We need to save some of these to shoot down the drones.

• Roll Tide!

• Hey, man! Where’s the gasoline?

• I’ll light it…you hold it.

• How fast is the fuse?

• Anybody seen the baby?

• Put it on your head! I dare ya!

• Dude! Get the Roman candles! I got an idea!

• I bet you can’t hit me with it!

• Duuuuude. Just don’t tell anybody, man.

• Hey! Watch this!

• You ain’t hurt. Just stick it in the cooler…it won’t burn long.

• Hold still a second! I wanna take a picture of it!

• I made this one, myself! Just light it and run.

• If I look at it, it’ll start hurting. What’s it look like?

• Anybody know the number for 911?

A word to the wise: Drinking and explosives don’t mix.