Things reportedly heard on July 4th…
after a long day of BBQ…
and a few too many “adult beverages”…
before, during, and after shooting off fireworks.
- Don’t point that at me!
- Launch it from yer hand! You chicken?
- Yeah!!! Stick one in the fire ant mound!
- Daaaaayam, bro! Does it hurt?
- We need to save some of these to shoot down the drones.
- Roll Tide!
- Hey, man! Where’s the gasoline?
- I’ll light it…you hold it.
- How fast is the fuse?
- Anybody seen the baby?
- Put it on your head! I dare ya!
- Dude! Get the Roman candles! I got an idea!
- I bet you can’t hit me with it!
- Duuuuude. Just don’t tell anybody, man.
- Hey! Watch this!
- You ain’t hurt. Just stick it in the cooler…it won’t burn long.
- Hold still a second! I wanna take a picture of it!
- I made this one, myself! Just light it and run.
- If I look at it, it’ll start hurting. What’s it look like?
- Anybody know the number for 911?
A word to the wise: Drinking and explosives don’t mix.