Tag Archives: children

by | October 15, 2014 · 12:59 pm

Feedback Needed! Don’t Be a Snotty Susie!

The following is an excerpt from a new book I am trying to complete within the next few days. It will be called Life Lessons from the School Bus. Let me know what you think. Marketable? Funny? Gets the point across? 

“Losing Marbles”

Once there was a little girl on my bus who cried over everything, especially when she didn’t get her way.  She ended up losing her marbles.

Snotty Susie

One morning this little girl – let’s just call her “Snotty Susie” – was crying about how everybody hated her.  Seriously, not two minutes after getting on the bus she started in with her caterwauling (the howling or wailing noise a cat makes). For the next 15 minutes the rest of the kids tried to console her, but all she kept saying through the sniffing, slobbering and crying was “Nobody wants to be my friend! Everybody hates me! WAAAAAH!”

Fortunately, we reached the elementary school before everyone went deaf from the crying. Then, just as “Snotty Susie” was stepping off the bus, a little boy who had gotten off in front of her looked back and said, “Nobody hates you, Susie; we just don’t like you.”

At least the little guy was being honest.

The Great Giveaway

Well, that afternoon, when the elementary kids were getting on the bus to go home, “Susie” got on first and sat on the front row. “Would you like a marble, Mr. Baker?” she asked. “No,” I said, “I have plenty.”

“What kind do you have?” she asked. “The round kind,” I replied.

Then, as the other children entered the bus, just as soon as they walked past her, she would ask, “Would you like a marble? You can have it for keeps. EVERYONE! Get your FREE marble, if you WANT one!”

I asked, “What are you doing? Why are you giving away your marbles?” She said, “Because I am going to MAKE them like me.”

Honestly, I felt sorry for the poor little girl. No one had ever taught her how to make friends.

Life Lesson

When we treat people poorly, and then try to buy their friendship with shiny trinkets, we end up losing our marbles.

“Snotty Susie” usually had a bad attitude about everything. She regularly talked mean to other kids, made fun of them, and then cried out in emotional pain when someone wasn’t nice to her. No one wanted to be her friend because she was NOT friendly! She couldn’t even buy friends for a day.

The saddest part was that I picked up a handful of marbles after all the children got off.

Route Suggestions

  • King Solomon said, “A man that has friends must show himself friendly” (Proverbs 18:24). How can you be nice to someone today?
  • Don’t try to buy your friends. If you do, you’ll just go broke (marble deficient) trying to keep them.
  • Don’t let anyone buy YOUR friendship. Be a real friend to somebody who’s a marble short.

[UPDATED IN AN ATTEMPT TO BE LESS SOPHOMORIC. I HOPE IT WORKED.]

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by | October 14, 2014 · 11:31 am

A Prayer For My Daughter At College

The Text

Yesterday I got a text from my daughter who attends Bryan College in Dayton, TN. She spoke of how stressed she was, of how little sleep she was getting, and how she misses the simpler life at home.

She sent a picture to me. It was a picture of the back of her left hand. On it was a reminder written with a Sharpie. She said:

Katies Hand“I’m killing myself trying to remember everything. I went to bed with this on my hand. Then I got it on my blue sheets and my face. But at least I made it to class this week.“

Later she wrote:

“My emotions are going haywire…because I am so stressed. Yet, at the same time I don’t feel stresses in some areas…And those are the areas I leave out…”

I responded with:

“I haven’t been praying for you like I should. I’m sorry. But I will.”

The Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the mercies you have shown to my family and me. Thank you for my family, including the opportunities you have given us. In this case, thank you for providing the place and the means for Katie to go to school. Thank you for the opportunity she has at Bryan College.

Now Lord, I have been to school and have gotten my degrees, but I have never walked in my daughter’s shoes (they’d hurt). Her emotions are different. Her dreams are different. Her likes and dislikes are different. But one thing I do know is that she loves you with all her heart and wants to honor you with her success. Please help her to do that.

Lord, I am her earthly father, but you are her “Daddy God,” her “Abba.” You opened the door for her to go to Bryan. You provided the scholarships to pay for the tuition we could not afford. You gave her the gifts to sing and play music. All I did was watch over her and instruct her in Your ways while she was under my roof. Now she is completely in Your hands. Watch over her and grow her into the godly, intelligent woman you want her to be – for Your name’s sake.

Katie is stressed out, but doing her best. She wants to be the model of integrity and honor, but some other students are making it difficult. Give her the strength to stand strong on her principles and counsel her with your Spirit when she’s confused or questioning what to do.

Father, you are the One who gives peace. Your Son is the Prince of Peace. As Katie has willfully taken your yoke upon her, make her burdens light as You pull along side her. Give rest for her soul and mind. Reassure her with the peace that all things work together for the good, to them that love you and are called according to Your purpose.

And dear Lord, help her to keep things straight in her head, or in a datebook, or on her phone, or whatever. Waking up with permanent marker on her face before class can’t be helping with the stress level.

In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN.

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by | August 18, 2014 · 8:07 pm

The Arrow Is Launched (My Daughter Is Going to College)

As a Parent

As a parent, it is very difficult to let my daughter go off to college.

Frankly, it feels like my heart is being ripped out, much like the first time my heart was broken by a girlfriend when she left me. It’s a painful feeling of loss, something that can never be cured, fixed, or done over.

Katie Baby Picture June 96Katie is my firstborn daughter. I was there at her birth…changed one of her first diapers…rushed her to the hospital when she was sick…threw a dog (Spot) across a room when he bit her…cried when she got injections…rejoiced when she accepted Christ…cheered her teams to victory and protested in defeat…cried again when I had to discipline her…listened with amazement at the first song she wrote…felt like a rock star when I played with her on stage…felt like an un-spiritual pagan when she spoke of her walk with God…bristled with anger when she got a boyfriend…and said, “That’s my girl” when she intimidated her own youth director at church.

Now, she’s grown up. There’s no more time. She’s leaving. My heart is breaking like never before. The pain is real.

As a Christian Parent

I once posted a comment on Facebook about my feelings. But the things people kept telling me had the same general theme: “She will be fine.”

IMG_3010Let me set the record straight. I KNOW she will be fine. I KNOW she will be OK. You don’t have to tell me that someone will be there at college to look after her, because I know darn well she can take care of herself! I am not worried in the least about her safety, her relationships, what she may or may not get into, or anything like that. She WILL be fine because she is prepared and God is with her. I am not going to worry. My problem is simply the fact that she is leaving.

But you know, that’s what children are supposed to do, right? They are supposed to leave, to get out of the nest, etc. What kind of parents would her mother and I be if we never prepared her to be a God-fearing adult? She was an arrow in my quiver, and now’s the time to let her fly.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. – Psalms 127:4-5 NKJV

As an Archer

Fellow parents, let me tell you exactly why I am not worried about my daughter, Katie. First, when she was just a baby, I dedicated her to the Lord. I covenanted with my wife to raise her in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord.” To the best of our ability, we have done just that.

Secondly, we have done with her as a warrior does with his arrows. We kept her safe and protected, just as the arrow is protected in the quiver. Just as the warrior makes sure the flights on his arrow are straight, we made sure she learned the Truth (John 14:6) so that she could navigate through the winds of life toward her specific target. Like the shaft of the arrow, we trained and molded her character. And like the all-important arrowhead, we made sure Katie was as sharp as possible, as effective as could be, to make her mark on whatever target was propped in front of her.

Katie with guitarNo, I am not worried; I am painfully proud. I have prepared a weapon for God’s glory, one that is now leaving the bow in flight toward her God-given goal. I have done all I can do, including aim her in the right direction. Now that she is on her way, I have complete confidence she will stay on course.

Train up a child in the way [she] should go: and when [she] is old, [she] will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6

Confront the “enemies in the gate,” Katie! Victory is yours!

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by | June 27, 2014 · 1:48 pm

If Children Ruled the World

Listen to the Children

Believe it or not, there are many who swear that true wisdom can be found in the words of young children. Forget the need for a lifetime of experience, listen to the wisdom of those who just learned to wear pull-ups and cut their own meat.

If we did what the they wanted us to do – listen to the children – what would the world, or at least our country, be like?

* No one would ever work … except those who need to work so that others would not have to work.

* Every day would be Christmas, Halloween, and summer vacation … as long as someone else buys the gifts, provides the candy, and drives them to the beach.

* There would be peace on earth and no more wars … except when someone disrespects you or takes your candy.

* Everything should be available for the asking whenever it is wanted … as long as we don’t have to be the ones providing it for someone else.

* There would be no need for multiple television channels … only Disney, Nickelodeon, MTV, and VH1.

* Everyone would have everything they always wanted, whether they needed it, or not … and still act like brats that never get anything they want and are always mistreated.

* No one would ever eat at home, only restaurants … then complain about their weight.

* Education, if desired, would be determined by what the child thought was important … like “Queer Translation (UC Berkeley 250)” and “The Sociology of Miley Cyrus: Race, Class, Gender, and Media (Skidmore College).”

* Teachers, Doctors, Policemen, School Teachers, and Ministers would be disrespected and maligned … while movie stars, rap and rock stars, and vulgar atheletes would be deified.

* Animals would be considered equal with humans … except when it came to leather clothing and Happy Meals.

* Hate would be outlawed … unless someone disagreed with you.

* Church would be nothing but fun and games – none of that judgmental, right/wrong stuff – with cookies for all to enjoy.

 

Wait! Maybe the children are already in charge!

Source: Unknown

Source: Unknown

 

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by | March 6, 2014 · 6:00 am

Thursday Thoughts (From wars I hate, to things I like)

Gooooooood Thursday, world! My apologies for not sounding like Robin Williams.

There are a few things about which I will share a few thoughts. Unfortunately for me, I might not be in the best of happy moods, so this might irritate the more fragile of sensibilities. Actually, I don’t even know if I understood what I just wrote.

  • World War III. I don’t know what you want, but I would hate to see us all go to war again. There are a lot of people out there in other countries who read this blog – having intercontinental ballistic missiles soaring over each other would not make me happy. But if war does break out between Russia and America, don’t blame me.
  • Katie and orchidsOut-Gifting the Dad. This week was my daughter’s 18th birthday. I bought her a beautiful orchid plant and gave it to her at the restaurant where we ate. When we got home, sitting on the front porch was a box, from her friend that is a boy, containing an orchid plant. I did not like the fact that he had done this, and neither did God. You see, because his had been left on the porch in 30-degree weather, they wilted. I’m soooooo sad – NOT!
  • Music Likes. When I was on my Facebook, I noticed something strange. As you can see from a partial screen-grab, the music I “like” includes likes (pun intended) of As Isaac, Building 429, and the music I write. However, for some strange reason I am evidently Ozzie Ozbourne. music I write

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by | February 6, 2014 · 10:14 pm

Thursday Thoughts (Doctrines & Brandy)

Greetings, friends, family, and followers (including the freakily-weird ones)! It is another Thursday, so time to share some random-like thoughts.

  • Subscribers and Followers. Is it just me, or is it strange when you have people “following” your blog, but they are absolutely nothing like, they’re not even from the same planet, as you? OMC (Oh my cupcake)! Some of my subscribers are hookers, Satanists, self-proclaimed aliens in bodily form, atheist (they’re more normal, actually), and visual artists who leave nothing to the imagination. I even have a few Democrats lingering in the shadows. Strange, isn’t it?
  • Essential Doctrines. Today I was asked by someone, “Can you tell me what you consider to be the essential doctrines of the faith?” I began by listing off the top few that came to mind, such as the Trinity, salvation by grace through faith, the divinity of Christ, etc. But then it became clear that the easiest thing to do was to start listing the doctrines/teachings that were not essential, especially the ones that typically divide the body of Christ. There are certainly doctrines that are essential, but there are so many more that are not. The problem is determining which is which.
  • Field Trip Disappointment. Today I drove a group of teenagers from Belvoir Christian Academy (a Lutheran school) on a field trip to the Hunter Museum of Art in Chattanooga. I thought I was going to be able to go in with the little kiddies, but I had to stay with the bus or get a parking ticket (not fair). So, after the cold, wintery disappointment got hold, I left the bus anyway and walked across the street to my favorite coffee and pastry shop, Rembrandt’s. Even though I didn’t get to tour the museum, a Russian tea cookie, a chocolate-covered brandied cherry, and a cup of locally-roasted coffee made me feel much better.

    photo 1

    Rembrandt’s

  • Brandied Cherries. If you ever happen to be walking through downtown Chattanooga, please stop by my favorite coffee shop. Not only do they roast their own beans, but they craft their own gourmet candies. And it is because of this I must warn you of something: when they say “brandied cherry,” they’re not talking about artificial flavoring. Biting into one of those, especially if you are a teetotaler, will get your attention real quick.
  • Legalism. No, I’m not going to go to hell, nor will I lose any eternal reward, because I ate a chocolate-covered brandied cherry.

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by | November 5, 2013 · 6:03 pm

Kissing Deer and Talking Sharks

This morning, as the first elementary children entered my bus, one child said to another, “Granny said to sit down!” Evidently, Granny had been giving some instruction on the way to the bus stop.

Teaching wisdom, one child at a time.

Teaching wisdom, one child at a time.

As we started to pull away from the stop, I glanced back to my right and saw the youngest little girl standing, along with the grandmother scowling and pointing a finger from the sidewalk. “You shouldn’t be standing,” I said, “especially if your granny said not to.”

Then, after a 2-minute story of what this little kindergartner did for her birthday, I proceeded to share with the rest of the children and her what other things they shouldn’t do. Why did I do this? I don’t know, but it was certainly interesting to here their responses.

Things You Shouldn’t Do

  • Don’t eat worms with syrup. No matter what, they don’t taste like spaghetti.
    • “I did. They taste like chicken! And they’re slippery!”
  • Don’t ever kiss a deer on the lips.
    • One girl asked, “Why not?” Another answered, “Because it might want to go out on a date with you, and dear won’t fit in a car.”
    • “I saw a video where a guy made a dear mad because he took its picture.”
  • Never take a picture of a deer until you know it has makeup on and its hair done.
  • Never take a dear, or especially a moose, out to dinner on a date.
    • “Why not?” asked one girl. “Because a moose won’t fit into your car, for sure, and they won’t serve a moose at a restaurant!” said another. I said, “And a moose has no table manners and can’t use a fork,” to which a little girl replied, “that would be a mess.”
  • Never, ever, lick a cheese grater.
    • “Why not?”
  • If a bear comes up to you and asks, “Can I scratch your back?” say, “NO!”
    • “What if it wants to drive your car?”
  • If you are ever walking by the water, and a fish sticks it head out of the water to talk and says, “Hey, come over here,” don’t.
    • “Why?”
    • “Iffa shark eva stick it head outta da watah un say, ‘C’mere, I wanna tell you somp’n,‘ DON’T DO IT!”

Wisdom

Really, it is amazing how children can show practical wisdom, even when they have no experience. All some kids know is that if it ain’t natural, like a shark trying to start up a conversation, then run away.

However, as we grow older and “wiser,” the things that used to be so simple grow more complicated. We desire the forbidden pleasures Granny used to warn us about, along with every other experience a liberated mind can dream up. We date the moose and schedule tickle fests with grizzly bears.

But in a day when men and women pride themselves in experience and boast in the knowledge gained from sin, Wisdom cries out like the little old granny from the street, “Listen to me! I’m warning you!”

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” declares the Psalmist (111:10). But fools, captivated by the unnatural, politically-correct, whatever-makes-me-happy talking shark, jump into the water.

Too bad real wisdom gets left on the bus.

Note: For 4 hours this post was up and running with a major misspelling – “dear” was supposed to be spelled “deer.” The only one to clue me in was my daughter, Katie. She cared. How sweet. The rest of you must have been sleeping at the computer.

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by | January 1, 2013 · 11:57 pm

13 Things (I Don’t Want to Do)

Year-End Sermon

On Sunday night, December 30, 2012, I preached the final sermon of the year at Riverside Baptist Church. It was an honor to stand before the congregation and deliver a word from the Lord. So, what was the message I chose to encourage and motivate us all as we faced the new year?

Forgetting the past and reaching toward the things before has been preached countless times. Beginning again has been covered, as well as how to have a prosperous new year. Therefore, this year I decided to do something a little different. Instead of talking about resolutions or remembering, I simply listed 13 things I do not want to do in 2013.

I Don’t Want to…

1. Believe another politician. Why did I ever? I won’t do it this year, that’s for sure. Even if he/she is telling the truth, how would I know? Let God be true, and every man a liar, especially those running for office (Romans 3:4).

2. Eat more in one sitting than the average family in Africa eats in a week. (Prov. 23:21; 21:17)

3. Lie, cheat, or steal, even when it’s socially acceptable. This is especially important during tax season, but there are many times we lie to each other, deprive each other, and take what isn’t ours. Have you ever told someone you were “fine” when you actually weren’t? You lied. Used two coupons instead of one, just because the cashier didn’t notice? You stole.

4. Be angry.  Anger rarely solves anything. Angry people are miserable and always finding fault. Angry people turn a leisurely drive into a demolition derby. “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9).

5. Whine or complain. What do I have to complain about? Really?

6. Tell people how stupid they are. I don’t understand why some people act the way they do, but I need to be a little more understanding of idiots, morons, ignoramuses, and bone-headed nincompoops. They must answer to God, not me, for their actions (Rom 14).

7. Add another x to my large. I can’t afford any more clothing. Even now I must wear Hawaiian shirts year-round because nothing will stay tucked in. I mean, seriously! The last thing I need is to expand the “temple.” (1 Corinthians 6:19)

8. Lose another favorite sock. I can’t figure out how it happens, but something has to be done.

9. Waste time.  Today I listened to my two girls play with a new ukulele. They laughed and sang.  Soon they will be grown, and there will be no more music, games, or bedtime stories. “Man is like to vanity: his days are as a shadow that passeth away” (Psalm 144:4).

10. Get a divorce.  Many do it because the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. They don’t realize the unnatural stuff has a nasty aftertaste. I want to stay with the woman God gave me. Who could be better than a gift from God?  “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth” (Proverbs 5:18).

11. Give one more dollar to a guy on the street….without offering the gospel as a condition. If he wants a dollar, then fine. I’ll give him $5 if he lets me tell him about Jesus.

12. Be on a reality TV show. So many people say, “Anthony, your family would make a great reality show.” I say, “Yes, I know.” However, it ain’t gonna happen. The world isn’t ready for it.

13. Forget to pray. I don’t pray enough. More is better. What I need is to follow David’s example and pray morning, noon, and evening (Psalm 55:17). I shudder to think how much I’ve given up by forgetting to spend time with God.

James 4:17  “Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.”

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by | November 2, 2012 · 12:10 am

Not Paying Attention

Not a Hallomeany

I am not a big Halloween guy. I don’t get in to the dressing up, and all that. For that matter, I don’t really celebrate the holiday.

However, I am not a total Hallomeany. I am not the Halloween version of Scrooge. For example, when a little girl asked what I thought of her costume, I didn’t say, “You look more like a prostitot than a princess.” I said, “You look very nice!”

When the little boys come around dressed like monsters, I always shiver like I am scared. When they dress like superheroes, I ask if they can fly. And when they look like a cat, dog, or freakazoid satanic mutt from the pits of hell, I say, “Wow! Do you have fleas, too?”

Wiggin’ Out

So, even though I don’t really celebrate Halloween, I try to keep the kids on the bus from thinking I am a “legalist.” What do I do? I wear a wig. This time I wore an Afro.

One little girl told me she was Little Red Riding Hood. I told her I was Big Black Afro Hood.

But the funny thing about all of this is the reaction of the elementary kids. It really made me wonder what bus they have been riding the last three months.

The Kids: (at least 1,000 times) “Mr. Baker, is that your real hair?”

Me: “Yes. It is. I was bald yesterday, but I put fertilizer on my head and my hair grew overnight.”

The Kids: “No it’s not…I bet it is a wig…that’s not your hair…let me touch it…I bet it’s a wig.”

Me:  “Of course it’s my real hair.”

The Kids:  “Is that really your real hair? You’re wearing a wig…I just know it.”

Me: (I got upset with some children who wouldn’t stay in their seats, so I got serious and took off the wig.)

A Little Girl (that has ridden the bus for 3 months): “Aaaahhhh (gasping, then giggling as she whispers to another child), Mr. Baker’s BALD!

Me:  “You THINK?! Where have you been? Did you not see me yesterday? Are you blind?”

You’ve Known Me How Long?

After telling the above story a few times, it seemed God wanted to tell me something.

I kept thinking of a conversation Jesus has with Phillip in John 14:8-9. Phillip asked, “Show us the Father.” That’s when Jesus replied in the same way I did to the little girl, “Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me?”

That got me to wondering. How long have I known Jesus? And how many times do I act like I haven’t even been paying attention to His presence? How many times have I been surprised by an answered prayer? How many times have I doubted, only to find Him faithful?

“You’ve known Me how long?” Long enough to know better.

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by | May 25, 2012 · 10:02 pm

Just to be Doing It

Sometimes one must write something just to be doing it. That is what I am doing right now.

It has been a few days since I posted on The Recovering Legalist, but it is not because I have not been working. As a matter of fact, I struggled three days straight with posts for my other blog, Proverbial Thought. On top of that, I have been doing a lot of reading and writing in my seminary classes (yes, I am going to school in the summer). So, I have been busy.

But this blog is my baby. It feels like I have abandoned my offspring when I don’t post an article at least once a week. Is that obsessive? Maybe. On the other hand, I have children, and this baby never has a dirty diaper. No wonder I’m so attached.

And it’s MY baby! Unlike our walking, whining, room-messing progeny, this baby is the product of my labor. My wife had nothing to do with it. As a matter of fact, I had to simultaneously take pictures and video during the birth of our girls. What does my wife do with this blog? NOTHING. And it looks nothing like her, either.

There are things I want to write about. For instance, I have been wanting to address the “Mitt Romney at Liberty University” thing (I was against it for religious reasons). I want to share some thoughts about the up-coming election (and make my liberal friends angry).

However, there are some things, now that I think about it, that I will probably NEVER write about. Here are some examples:

  1. Calvinism vs. Arminianism (or Agrarianism, as spell-check wants me to say). I am staunchly neither. Don’t try to convert me. You’re both wrong, and you’re both right, so there.
  2. The science behind why cats, no matter where you are in the world, will come to you if you say, “Kitty kitty!” Yet, badgers won’t come to you, no matter what you say.
  3. Computers.
  4. Dating. Except when I am addressing the unlikely possibility of my daughters going out with guys who don’t own a belt.
  5. Justin Bieber.
  6. Bowel Movements (why are seniors so obsessed with this topic?)
  7. Dr. Oz.
  8. Sopapilla recipes.
  9. Dog grooming.
  10. Why good food tastes bad and bad food tastes good, yet “big is beautiful,” but I feel fat.

But I’m always glad to talk about Jesus. How ’bout you?

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