One morning a few years back (in 2013), as the first elementary children entered my bus, one child said to another, “Granny said to sit down!” Evidently, Granny had been giving some instruction on the way to the bus stop.
As we started to pull away from the stop, I glanced back to my right and saw the youngest little girl standing, along with the grandmother scowling and pointing a finger from the sidewalk. “You shouldn’t be standing,” I said, “especially if your granny said not to.”
Then, after a 2-minute story of what this little kindergartner did for her birthday, I proceeded to share with the rest of the children and her what other things they shouldn’t do. Why did I do this? I don’t know, but it was certainly interesting to here their responses.
Things You Shouldn’t Do
- Don’t eat worms with syrup. No matter what, they don’t taste like spaghetti.
- “I did. They taste like chicken! And they’re slippery!”
- Don’t ever kiss a deer on the lips.
- One girl asked, “Why not?” Another answered, “Because it might want to go out on a date with you, and deer won’t fit in a car.”
- “I saw a video where a guy made a deer mad because he took its picture.”
- Never take a picture of a deer until you know it has makeup on and its hair done.
- Never take a deer, or especially a moose, out to dinner on a date.
- “Why not?” asked one girl. “Because a moose won’t fit into your car, for sure, and they won’t serve a moose at a restaurant!” said another. I said, “And a moose has no table manners and can’t use a fork,” to which a little girl replied, “that would be a mess.”
- Never, ever, lick a cheese grater.
- “Why not?”
- If a bear comes up to you and asks, “Can I scratch your back?” say, “NO!”
- “What if it wants to drive your car?”
- If you are ever walking by the water, and a fish sticks it head out of the water to talk and says, “Hey, come over here,” don’t.
- “Iffa shark eva stick it head outta da watah un say, ‘C’mere, I wanna tell you somp’n,‘ DON’T DO IT!”
Really, it is amazing how children can show practical wisdom, even when they have no experience. All some kids know is that if it ain’t natural, like a shark trying to start up a conversation, then run away.
However, as we grow older and “wiser,” the things that used to be so simple grow more complicated. We desire the forbidden pleasures Granny used to warn us about, along with every other experience a liberated mind can dream up. We date the moose and schedule tickle fests with grizzly bears.
But in a day when men and women pride themselves in experience and boast in the knowledge gained from sin, Wisdom cries out like the little old granny from the street, “Listen to me! I’m warning you!”
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” declares the Psalmist (111:10). But fools, captivated by the unnatural, politically-correct, whatever-makes-me-happy talking shark, jump into the water.
Too bad real wisdom gets left on the bus.
- Shark victim wants ‘to warn other people’ (peace4animalscornwall.wordpress.com)
- Moose on the loose in Saskatoon on Monday morning (metronews.ca)