Category Archives: animals

by | September 7, 2015 · 6:30 am

Mr. Monkey Meets Freaya

Children Will Beg

Some of the kids on my school bus are now driving me crazy with my own songs! Literally, they get on the bus singing them and they get off the bus singing them. What songs am I talking about? Songs from my Monday Monkey videos.

Which one do they sing the most? “Whadaya Do When Your Monkey Has the Hiccups?” If I’ve heard “whack ’em in the the head with a Barbie doll” once, I’ve heard it a hundred times.

Yet, more than just songs are heard on a daily basis. They ask me, “When are you going to make another monkey video, Mr. Baker?” Nearly every day I hear it. I must appease them.

A New Video

So, after a long absence, Mr. Monkey is back with a new Monday Monkey video. It is a short little video – more of a commercial, I suppose – introducing our new (yet sadly temporary) family member, Freaya. She is a foreign exchange student from Montana (at least that’s what I tell people to throw them off).

As we see it around here, if you want to be part of this family, you must appear in at least one Monday Monkey video. The more the better – at least from my perspective.

https://youtu.be/HtZAR2Txun4

Now, the next thing is to figure out what to do next. Maybe Mr. Monkey will have a taste of the seasoned seaweed Freaya brought with her? Maybe Freaya can teach Mr. Monkey how to use chopsticks instead of a fork?

Do you have any suggestions? I’m having screenwriter block.

1 Comment

Filed under animals, Humor, Monday Monkey

Tagged as ,

by | February 16, 2015 · 5:16 pm

How We Treat Animals Says Something About Us

The following was written a couple of years ago for my other blog, Proverbial Thought. Since then, I have seen animal cruelty increase in regularity. News reports of men beating, torturing, or even getting animals drunk – if they feed them at all – are more and more common. Even ISIS released a video of a man beating a cat to death for fun.

So, like always, the Truth and Wisdom of God’s Word is always relevant.

Wicked and Cruel

I will never forget a particular video I saw posted on YouTube. The owner of a large python purchased a fluffy, brown rabbit and brought it home. There, in his living room, he let this peaceful, tame rabbit meant to be a pet hop around while his sorry snake got closer and closer.

Snickering with anticipation, the owner of the snake filmed the unwary rabbit as it got accustomed to its new environment. Then, it happened – the python struck, coiled around the rabbit, and began its death squeeze. But what made me sick, as I am sure it did God, was when the snake’s owner got up close to the rabbit and laughed. He laughed because the rabbit cried.

There is a Difference

It is one thing to kill an animal for food, or even in self-defense. It is even understandable to kill animals when their populations get out of hand. But it is something totally different when a human is intentionally cruel to something helpless and trusting.

A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel. – Proverbs 12:10

This proverb says that “a righteous man regardeth (knows, cares about) the life” of his animal. In contrast, the wicked are cruel. But some may wonder, “What does it matter?” It matters to the one who values life.

“His Eye Is On the Sparrow…”

Nugget and me from a few years ago. We still look as good as then.

It might surprise people to know that God cares about the lives of animals. When Jonah was upset because God did not destroy Nineveh, God said unto him,

And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more than sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle? – Jonah 4:11

Literally, the last words of God in the story of Jonah concerned the cattle of a pagan city. If God cared about these cattle, does it not stand to reason that He might disapprove of torturing pets? Remember, not a sparrow falls without Him knowing (Matt. 10:29).

This is the thing: let there be no mistake, if a human can find enjoyment in the suffering of helpless animals, then what is to keep him from harming helpless humans? Wickedness breeds wickedness.

Leave a comment

Filed under animals, Christian Living

Tagged as , , , , , ,

by | December 1, 2014 · 6:00 am

An Interview With Mr. Monkey

It’s Monday!

Normally, in the real world, declaring it is Monday does not bring squeals of joy. However, this is the world of the Recovering Legalist, and I’m not a sour puss.

IT’S MONDAY!! Do you know what that means? Yes, it is time for a brand spanking new Monday Monkey video

The world may be burning, but there’s only so many fire extinguishers to go around, anyway. Chill out. Have fun for a few minutes. Laugh.

Yesterday, before I drove Katie (a.k.a. Piper Smokestack) back to school, she interviewed Mr. Monkey. The last time she did anything like that was when she was reporting on Mr. Monkey losing his banana.

But here’s the thing: Mr. Monkey now has a Twitter account! He will be staying in touch and answering fan mail. Just go to @MonkeyBuddy1984.

Now, tomorrow we can talk about some more serious stuff, if that kinda stuff floats your boat.

In the meantime, watch the video again, share it, then go buy one of my books. That will make us all have a great Monday 😉

Leave a comment

Filed under animals, blogging, Humor, Monday Monkey

Tagged as , , ,

by | April 17, 2014 · 5:48 pm

Thursday Thoughts (Elk vs. Hunter Talk)

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here, today, in the sight of the NSA, to join my thoughts with your thoughts in a somewhat semi-holy-like bond of conversamony (I made that up).

If there is anyone logged on who objects to this union, please comment now, or forever hold your peace (or just click the red “X” at the top right corner of your computer screen).

Elk Talk

Do elk talk? I have no idea. I’m sure they have some sort of language with which they communicate online and in their lodge meetings, but I know little of what it may sound like.

However, I could not help but ponder what THIS elk might have been thinking or saying quietly under his breath while staring down a hunter.

elk talkThe picture you see is a screen grab from a video posted by a radio station (95.7 KJR) on their Facebook page. The hunter remained perfectly still as this elk walked right up to him and stood there, sniffing, looking, and possibly whispering in a Clint Eastwood-like tone…

What Does the Elk Say?

  • “Well, ring-a-ding-ding-a-dingaling, what have we here?”
  • “Thought I couldn’t see ya’, didn’t ya’? Thought I’d never seen a bush walk in the woods before, didn’t ya’? Who’s look’n at who, now? Huh? LOOK at me!”
  • “Skeeerrrd? Who’s the one with sharp, pointy things on his head, eh?”
  • “Go ahead, punk! Make my day!”

What Does the Hunter Say (or think silently to himself)?

  • “Jeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzz…” (probably not slang, but a slow, cautiously-mouthed prayer to the Savior for help)
  •  “Ahh, man! It’s too cold to have wet pants!”
  • “I’m a little statue…I’m a little statue…”
  • “Was that doe or buck urine I put on?”

Maybe this is why I never hunted anything bigger than squirrel. 

Leave a comment

Filed under animals, blogging, Humor

Tagged as , , , ,

by | January 6, 2014 · 1:24 am

Walk Slowly (another Monday Monkey episode!)

Surely you have seen it…the heroes of a movie walking slowly toward the screen.

Remember The Right Stuff? Remember how the astronauts, wearing their space suits, walked slowly through the steam?

Remember the scene in the 2005 movie Kicking and Screaming where Will Ferrell and his young soccer team, covered in blood after a day at the butcher shop, walked onto the field? They walked slowly, of course, and scared the other team into forfeiting.

Whenever want to make an on-screen impression that says, “I’m bad and I mean business,” walk toward the camera in slow motion. It never fails.

Oh! I almost forgot! You’ve also got to have some cool music with some punch and a good bass riff as a background track. Fortunately for me, iMovie had one I could use 😉

That’s why today’s Monday Monkey, the 1st one of 2014, kicks “beehind” (Baptist dirty word) and takes names.

Walk Slowly

9 Comments

Filed under animals, General Observations, Humor, Monday Monkey

Tagged as , , , , , ,

by | December 16, 2013 · 1:21 am

Monday Monkey (The Least of These)

He’s Alive!

Well, not exactly, but you know what I mean. Mr. Monkey (a.k.a. Buddy) is back with a new video for Christmas. And this time he actually talks! Sorta.

Mr. Monkey has been resting for a few months on my suit rack, allowing my brain to regrow some creative neurons. I hope you think the wait was worth it.

Christmas Spirit

Christmas is the time we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, Emmanuel, the Savior of the world, so what better way to express the “spirit” of Christmas than by showing compassion to those in need? God, in His mercy and grace, gave sinful man the most precious gift He could give, His Son. Therefore, in all our giving, shouldn’t our gifts mirror the first Gift?

We should keep in mind that the whole reason Jesus came was to save the lost (Luke 19:10). He came to the lowly and outcast, the poor and downtrodden (Isa. 61:1; Luke 4:18). At the very least, if we are to say we have the “spirit of Christmas,” shouldn’t we be seeking out those in need, not heaping gifts upon gifts on top of already over-blessed children?

This year, make an effort to show grace and compassion to someone outside of your family, someone in need, and especially someone in need of love. After all, isn’t that the real message of Christmas? When you do, keep in mind, it might be Jesus your giving to (Matt. 25:40).

“The Least of These”

Leave a comment

Filed under animals, Christmas, Monday Monkey

Tagged as , , , , ,

by | December 2, 2013 · 6:34 pm

Christmas Monkey Recap

It’s late in the day, but it is still Monday. So, why not a Monday Monkey episode?

Actually, this is a video I made for Christmas 2012 (I think). My wife, Valerie, should have gotten an Oscar for the “scream.”

I promise, more Monkey videos are on the way. Promise.

1 Comment

Filed under animals, Christmas, Humor, Monday Monkey, Relationships and Family

Tagged as , , , , ,

by | November 28, 2013 · 12:51 am

Other Reasons to be Thankful

Normal Reasons

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, including all my friends and blog subscribers all over the world! For even though Thanksgiving is an American holiday, we all have reason to be thankful. After all, for most of us, things could be worse.

I am not going to go into detail and recount the history of the Pilgrims or the reasoning of George Washington’s proclamation. I am not going to talk turkey, Indians, or Sacajawea, either. If you want to read about all of those things, including the godly, religious heritage of our nation that the atheists and humanists are trying to sponge away, then take the time to visit other blogs which are carrying the torch of freedom.

Essentially, everyone should be thankful to God for his grace and mercy, no matter the country in which they live. Americans should be grateful for the rare freedoms we still have, despite the current administration’s attempt to presidentially-mandate them away. And on top of that, each of us should be thankful for health, shelter, food, and any family or friends we have.

But there are other reasons to be thankful…reasons you may have never thought of. Let me give you a few.

Other Reasons

DSC_0543First of all, you all should be thankful you don’t have to dress up like an elf in order to pose for Christmas card pictures for your oldest daughter. As you can see, even though Lily and Henry are the cutest grand-dogs any man could have, there is a slight sense of humiliation being experienced by all.

Secondly, you could be thankful you are not a dog, especially a dog that is forced to dress up like a little Santa Clause.

Third, you should be thankful you do not have green hair. Even though my little dogs know me, and even though Lily and Henry like me, they don’t like men in green wigs.

Fourth, be thankful you are not an elf. Their big, pointy ears are hot, and the bells they wear can be distracting while preaching on Sunday.

Other Reasons (cont.)

If you don’t have any other reasons to be thankful on this day, then at least be thankful for the following:

  • You don’t have to worry about being chased by dinosaurs, vampires, or creatures from the Black Lagoon (except in Wal-Mart).
  • Sharks are rarely found in swimming pools.
  • Miley Cyrus is not dating your son (and that you didn’t throw out your hip when you tried to “twerk” in the privacy of your own home).
  • Your eye doctor, dentist, etc. is not a unicorn.
  • You don’t taste with your hands (but you could tell who didn’t wash after going to the restroom).
  • You didn’t vote for “change.”
  • You are not a turkey or a cranberry.

Seriously, though

“O give thanks unto the LORD; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people.” – Psalms 105:1

“Praise ye the LORD. O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.” – Psalms 106:1

Leave a comment

Filed under America, animals, Christmas, Food, General Observations, Humor, Relationships and Family

Tagged as , , ,

by | October 23, 2013 · 3:44 pm

Embarrassing Local News

The News

What is it about being on “the news?” We go home and grab the wife and kids and say, “Honey! I was standing by a horrible car crash when the T.V. station pointed a camera at me! I’m gonna be on the NEWS!”

I have been written about in the news paper several times for different reasons (none crime-related). I have even been seen on local television news defending prayer at football games and chastising the city council for misappropriating tax dollars. But even if all I was doing was standing in line to buy fuel, it’s still fun to be spoken of in “the news.”

But sometimes being in the news is just plain embarrassing.

Dateline: Soddy-Daisy

Some places have a reputation for rearing bright, intelligent, first-class thinkers and leaders, like scholars, inventors, CEO’s, and U.S. Presidents (ok, we can discuss that last one later). But Soddy-Daisy needs to be careful of who they allow in the news, or before long they will have a reputation of bringing up idiots and fool-headed morons.

Soddy-Daisy, please don’t get angry with me! I lived there for years, as my mother and grandmother still do. I have lots of friends in Soddy-Daisy and consider it a great place to live. But seriously, you need to be careful about what kind of news stories you allow to get out. The one about the guy falling from the tree is now going global (thanks to me, ha!).

So, here’s the story….late last night (Tuesday, Aug. 22) a man was rescued from the woods after falling 70 feet from a tree. He suffered several fractures, but was lucky to be found alive after spending several hours calling for help.

(Puma concolor) aka: Mountain Lion, Puma

(Puma concolor) aka: Mountain Lion, Puma (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

But here’s the REST of the story….he climbed the tree because he was chasing a mountain lion!

Just a few observations, then I’m done…

  1. Don’t go into the woods (forest) without a shock-resistant cell phone. They make calling for help much more effective.
  2. Mountain lions are not cuddly kittens. You don’t want to catch one in the wild.
  3. If you feel the need to chase a mountain lion in the woods, seek psychological help immediately. I mean, seriously, what did it do, steal your wallet?
  4. If a mountain lion decides to run from you and not towards you, one of two things should be done: a) you should stop, drop, and pray to God, giving thanks that your life was spared; or b) take a bath.
  5. If for some reason you desire to chase a fleeing mountain lion up a tree, remember gravity is not your friend. Therefore, while in the tree you will be fighting two enemies: a big cat with knives for fingernails and the laws of nature.
  6. If you fall out of a tree after chasing a mountain lion up the tree, don’t tell anyone, especially the news! Otherwise, you will be considered the biggest moron on the face of the planet, thereby further contributing to the bad press banjo-dueling rednecks already get.
  7. The mountain lion should have killed you, you big dummy!
Related articles

1 Comment

Filed under animals, current events, General Observations, Life Lessons, wisdom

Tagged as , , , , , , , ,

by | August 26, 2013 · 1:46 pm

Monday Monkey (Whadaya Do?) Episode 39

Crazy Songs

Have you ever had a song that you couldn’t get out of your head? Sometimes they’re so bad you’d think Myley Cyrus had written them just to give you bad dreams.

Then there are songs that are so bad they’re CRAZY GOOD, like THIS one!

If you keep repeating it in your head, over and over, it will drown out the Miley Cyrus nightmares.

Leave a comment

Filed under animals, Humor, Monday Monkey, music

Tagged as , , , , ,