Tag Archives: Outdoors

Thursday Thoughts (Elk vs. Hunter Talk)

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here, today, in the sight of the NSA, to join my thoughts with your thoughts in a somewhat semi-holy-like bond of conversamony (I made that up).

If there is anyone logged on who objects to this union, please comment now, or forever hold your peace (or just click the red “X” at the top right corner of your computer screen).

Elk Talk

Do elk talk? I have no idea. I’m sure they have some sort of language with which they communicate online and in their lodge meetings, but I know little of what it may sound like.

However, I could not help but ponder what THIS elk might have been thinking or saying quietly under his breath while staring down a hunter.

elk talkThe picture you see is a screen grab from a video posted by a radio station (95.7 KJR) on their Facebook page. The hunter remained perfectly still as this elk walked right up to him and stood there, sniffing, looking, and possibly whispering in a Clint Eastwood-like tone…

What Does the Elk Say?

  • “Well, ring-a-ding-ding-a-dingaling, what have we here?”
  • “Thought I couldn’t see ya’, didn’t ya’? Thought I’d never seen a bush walk in the woods before, didn’t ya’? Who’s look’n at who, now? Huh? LOOK at me!”
  • “Skeeerrrd? Who’s the one with sharp, pointy things on his head, eh?”
  • “Go ahead, punk! Make my day!”

What Does the Hunter Say (or think silently to himself)?

  • “Jeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzz…” (probably not slang, but a slow, cautiously-mouthed prayer to the Savior for help)
  •  “Ahh, man! It’s too cold to have wet pants!”
  • “I’m a little statue…I’m a little statue…”
  • “Was that doe or buck urine I put on?”

Maybe this is why I never hunted anything bigger than squirrel. 


Leave a comment

Filed under animals, blogging, Humor

Thoughts from the Beach (part 2)

Yesterday, in a longer post than normal, I told you a little about my trip to the beach. This time I would like to share one more thought that I had (thanks to my wife).

Tourist Alert

Standing in the oceanCould anyone look more like a tourist? The only thing missing from this picture is a big camera hanging around my neck. Here I am, standing in the ocean, not wearing a bathing suit, tan challenged, looking down at water containing critters that could eat me. This is not a picture of a native.

Yet, this IS a picture of someone thinking…pondering…contemplating…

The Yorktown

Before I tell you what I was thinking while standing on the beach, let me first tell you about something else. One of the highlights of my trip to Charleston was our visit to the USS Yorktown, the famous WWII-era aircraft carrier. I felt like a kid in a toy store!

YorktownBelieve it or not, being that I am from Tennessee, up until seeing the Yorktown I had never seen a real ship in person. Oh, I have seen some big boats go up and down rivers, but never something this big – not even close. And to think, this aircraft carrier is small compared to the new ones! Needless to say, I was tremendously impressed – I even got chills.

It took us several hours to tour the Yorktown, not to mention the USS Laffey (a destroyer) that sat next to her. If I had had my way, and if I had had a little more energy and some money to spend on refreshments, I would have stayed longer. There was so much to take in because of the scale of these ships. They were huge!

The Sky

Back to the beach…

One thing my wife told me was that she loves going to the beach if for no other reason than to contemplate God. She said that when she looks out toward the horizon she thinks to herself, “God is bigger than that.”

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? – Isaiah 40:12 NIV

As I stood in the water, lily-white legs and all, I looked out at the vast expanse of ocean, looked up at the sky, and thought to myself, “Just think, God is bigger than all this!” The cargo ships and cruise liners could be seen in the distance, and they looked no bigger than a twig. The sky soared above them and the ocean and surrounded me. There was no way I could grasp its magnitude.

I shivered.



Filed under God, places

Here Come Da Flies

Warm weather is just around the corner, you know. And with warm weather comes one of the more annoying things in life…


I don’t want to gross you out with all the stuff that flies do, but I could. The worst part is that in order to eat, they have to regurgitate stomach acid onto the food source (your food), disolve it, then suck it back up. In the process, whatever was left in the gut of the fly from its last meal (road-kill) just got puked onto yours.


Because flies are so nasty, annoying, and ever-present, the writer of Ecclesiastes chose to use them in an illustration. He said, “Dead flies cause the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour: [so doth] a little folly him that is in reputation for wisdom [and] honour” (Ecclesiastes 10:1).

Now, what does that mean? Well, an apothacary is someone who made perfume, or ointment. Some of these ointments could take a long time to create, not to mention use a lot of costly ingredients in the making. If left uncovered, the sweet smell would attract flies. Only one landing in the ointment could cause it to spoil and create a foul odor. Losing its beautiful smell, the ointment was no longer capable of doing what it was designed to do.

Like the ointment of the perfume maker, our reputations (testimonies) are hard to come by, but easy to ruin. All it takes is just one little mistake, mistesp, or sin to cause a big stink. This is what the writer of Ecclesiastes was trying to say. Watch out for the little sins that can ruin your hard-earned reputation. Keep the lids on and the screens closed.

The Fly Song (Dead Flies)

A few years ago, in a moment of creativity, I stayed up late one night putting a song together on my 8-track. A while later, my friend Roy Cavender came and laid down the lead guitar track. I’m going to let you listen to it, but you need an open mind and a sense of humor. Maybe one day I will have the time and money to take it to the studio, along with some other works recorded late at night when I should have been asleep.

Click the link below to listen! Then, by all means, tell me what you think!

Dead Flies


Filed under Christian Living, General Observations, Life Lessons, Uncategorized