Category Archives: Humor

by Anthony Baker | August 27, 2012 · 12:30 am

A Monkey is Coming – Beware

Prepare

If you are reading this early on a Monday morning, then you should be the first to prepare. You should be thankful that you have received this warning early.

Many will see this too late. Many will not have time to prepare.

“Prepare for what?” you may ask.

Prepare to see a video so shocking, so controversial, so unlike anything you have ever seen before. It will go down in history – for something.

Pre-Share

Don’t wait till later to tell people what you are about to see. It is Monday. It could happen at any moment.

At any second the world’s most controversial video of a polyester-furred puppet monkey offending certain humans will hit YouTube and the world wide web. You need to get the word out NOW! Don’s just share, pre-share! They must be warned!

Be in Prayer

The truth will be shocking, upsetting, and unsettling. Some will become nauseated. Others will wish they were wearing adult diapers. But a large portion of the portion of the world whose claims are disproportionately larger than their actual portion will simply be offended and reply with hatred, vitriol, and jokes that aren’t that funny.

Be in prayer that the video to be released later on this day will go viral – at least as much as “Charlie Bit My Finger” – and actually make a point…without actually hurting anyone’s finger.

Monday Monkey “Olympic Hopeful” (Episode 26) (therecoveringlegalist.com)

1 Comment

Filed under Humor, Monday Monkey, Uncategorized

Tagged as Charlie Bit My Finger, Humor, Jokes, Monday, Monkey, World Wide Web, YouTube

by Anthony Baker | August 13, 2012 · 10:01 am

Monday Monkey “Dark and Early” (Episode 27)

Today is the first full day of the school year in our town. That means that the days of sleeping in are over.

The only difference this year is that Mr. Monkey thought he could handle driving a school bus. I wonder how it turned out?

Monday Monkey “Olympic Hopeful” (Episode 26) (therecoveringlegalist.com)

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Filed under Humor, Monday Monkey, Uncategorized

by Anthony Baker | August 11, 2012 · 9:55 pm

Late-Nite Saturday Rant

In the Dark

I’m sitting in the dark on an empty school bus, waiting for a high school football team to finish playing. I have 29% battery on my iPhone, and I want to read my real Bible, not an app.

So, since it is dark (28%, now), I will blog in the dark. At least until I get to 20%.

Things that Irritate

A lot of people have used their blogs to gripe about things they hate, or things that irritate them (27%). Therefore, because I just heard something that irritated me when I watched a video on Socialcam, I will share some of my dislikes. Why not?

…..the limited capabilities of WordPress’s smartphone app.

…..(26%) people that won’t sing a well-known song to the beat, but delay the lyrics in order to appear more spiritual (’cause it doesn’t make them sound better).

…..when there is a hole in one slice of bread and the jelly on my peanut butter and jelly sandwich leaks onto my hand.

…..(25%) mosquitoes.

…..cat hair in my throat (or any hair) that won’t wash down or cough up, but just sticks there.

…..a sunburn on my bald head.

…..(24%) no car charger for my phone while on a field trip.

…..reporters that ask to interview me, then distort the truth, making me look bad.

Oh great! The team is done. I’m cranking up the bus. I have light!

Going Home

Well, I now have 23% battery on my phone, but now it’s time to go home. I’ve got to make sure everything’s ready for the road.

Hope everybody goes to church somewhere this Sunday. You’re welcome to visit ours and hear me preach. If you do, that will NOT irritate me.

4 Comments

Filed under General Observations, Humor, places, Preaching

Tagged as blogging, foot ball, Gospel, iPhone, Peanut butter, Random, Saturday

by Anthony Baker | August 7, 2012 · 3:33 pm

It Does Get Serious

I Love to Laugh

All who really know me know I love to laugh. They know I love to joke around, even when it’s not expected. Sometimes I can find the strangest things humorous.

Sometimes my sense of humor can get me into trouble. My wife has given me the “evil eye” on more than one occasion. She could tell you of many times when what I thought something was funny, but others did not.

I Love Comedy

If you have seen my Monday Monkey videos you have figured out I like stupid comedy. I am a kid at heart that likes to smile. What would life be like without a good joke? What would life be like without Bill Cosby, Steve Martin, Bill Murray, Tim Allen, or Tim Hawkins? I even like Will Ferrell and Eddie Murphy at times.

I’m On Mission

But no matter how much I love to laugh and have fun; no matter how many monkey videos I make; I am still on mission for the Lord. And one thing is for sure, now as much as ever, doing God’s will, especially in the area of ministry, is not for the faint of heart.

I was working on a paper today when the words I wrote spoke back at me. The last few weeks have brought many trials and heartbreaks. Just this week I have dealt with (either personally or on behalf of others) character attacks, physical pain, financial stress, divorce, infidelity, abuse, cancer, court trials, death, and political turmoil. There is more to my life, and there’s more to ministry, than monkeys…believe me.

Sometimes life can be hard. And those going into ministry need to know that being “on God’s payroll” doesn’t make it any easier, either. That is why I found myself writing the following paragraph on the opening page of a paper dealing with conflict. I hope it serves as a warning, but also as a reminder that our God is in control, even when no one’s laughing.

“One thing should always be taught to those young men (and women) entering ministry – it’s a battle, and people will get hurt. Many enter into ministry with grand allusions of glorious and easy sailing, the wind behind their backs, and starry nights guiding the way. What they don’t know is that ahead of them lay stormy seas, contrary winds, and nights so dark no guiding light can be seen. Ministry can be full conflict; yet all is not hopeless. We walk with One who walks on waves. We talk with One who calms the winds. And when it’s too dark to see the way, we can trust the Unseen Hand.”

I serve a Mighty God who is awesome to save! He is my strength and my strong tower. In Him will I hide. Under His banner will I go forward unto victory. Praise the Lamb!

7 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Humor, ministry, Monday Monkey, worship

Tagged as Bill Cosby, Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy, faith, God, Humour, Ministry, Steve Martin, Tim Allen, Tim Hawkins

by Anthony Baker | August 6, 2012 · 12:03 am

Monday Monkey (#26) and the 300th Post!

Last week it was 20,000 views.

This week it is our

300th Post!

Yaaaaayyyyy!

And, to beat all, the 300th post on The Recovering Legalist is not going to be serious or controversial, but fun and educational. It’s a Monday Monkey video!

Vacation

This week my family and I went out of town for a couple of days. We went to Huntsville and Decatur, Alabama. While in Decatur we stayed at the Marriott Courtyard and had a half tank of gasoline stolen, ate barbecue, went to my old employer’s bug museum, and tried to work on several papers that need to be completed before week’s end.

Hey, for the record, I normally use iMovie to do my video, but then end of this video features a piece done on the Socialcam app.

Also, here’s a shout out and hello to Gage, a little boy we met in Cook’s Natural Science Museum. He was brave enough to have his picture made with a weird man and a monkey, but his little brother chickened out. And also for the record, his mom gave us permission to take the picture. Thank’s to the mom and granny persons 🙂

Also, on our way home, we drove by the U. S. Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville.

Monday Monkey “Jumping On the Bed” (Episode 25) (therecoveringlegalist.com)
Monday Monkey “Olympic Hopeful” (Episode 26) (therecoveringlegalist.com)

Interview Questions

A Great Idea

I was just reading the blog of a new subscriber, Jessie Clemence. One of her posts consisted of an interview conducted by herself. That gave me an idea – why not interview ME?

Yes, I think it would be fun to conduct an in-depth, newsworthy interview with myself. I could ask all the right questions, none of the wrong ones, and make myself look pretty darn impressive.

The only downside to interviewing myself is that if I am the only one asking the questions, then I might get mad at myself for prying too much. I would hate to make myself so angry that I never talk to myself again.

Your Questions

So, why don’t you help me interview myself by suggesting some questions myself could ask me?

Do you have questions about my past? My favorite things? Where I was on the night of June 18, 1994? My connection with MI6? What kind of man fights in Hawaiian shirts?

Keep the questions clean, of course, or myself will have to delete them.

If this interview goes well, I may have to do one with Mr. Monkey. Now that would be interesting.

2 Comments

Filed under General Observations, Humor, Life Lessons, Uncategorized, Witnessing

Tagged as Ask an Expert, Employment, faith, Interview, Question

by Anthony Baker | July 30, 2012 · 12:30 am

Monday Monkey “Olympic Hopeful” (Episode 26)

Olympic Connection

To start off this post, I just want to say how happy I am to see that my alma mater was represented to the world this week.

If you missed it, Amber Charles, a senior at Tennessee Temple University in Chattanooga, TN, was one of the torchbearers who lit the Olympic cauldron in London. Amber is the captain of the ladies basket ball team. Both she and the coach, incidentally, are from London.

Monkey Connection

One of the best over-the-counter teas is non other than PG Tips. According to their advertising, PG Tips is England’s #1 tea, and they have a puppet monkey to prove it.

Our family loves PG Tips, and we have a world-famous puppet monkey in our house. Coincidence?

Athlete Connection

London, Monkeys, Tea…and athletics. What many don’t know is that Mr. Monkey can pole vault. Give him a little duct tape and he can really impress with bamboo pole.

I don’t know when the next Olympic trial will be held, but someone should give us a call. Do they have three-legged racing?

Monday Monkey “Jumping On the Bed” (Episode 25) (therecoveringlegalist.com)
Olympic cauldron lit in Hyde Park (itv.com)

3 Comments

Filed under Humor, Monday Monkey

Tagged as animal, Christianity, England, faith, London, Monkey, Olympic, Olympic Flame, PG Tips, Tennessee Temple University

by Anthony Baker | July 17, 2012 · 12:24 am

Monday Monkey “Jumping On the Bed” (Episode 25)

**Check it out! Our 25th Monday Monkey!**

This is a very special episode of Monday (yes, I know it’s Tuesday) Monkey. Mr. Monkey (a.k.a. Buddy) had an accident while jumping on the bed. He fell off and bumped his head.

Actually, I had to take my wife to the emergency room this morning (for real). Being a good steward of God’s money (what He let’s me have of it), I figured I would take advantage of having thousands of dollars of medical equipment at my disposal, at least when the doctors weren’t looking.

Do you have any idea how much it would have cost to do this video if I had wanted to use an actual hospital? Oh, wait…it is costing a lot.

Here are three life lessons to learn from this episode of Monday Monkey…

When your momma tells you to stop jumping on the bed, do it. If you don’t, you might fall off and bump your head.
Doctors can think of thousands of reasons for conducting tests that have nothing to do with your actual complaint.
Always carry a monkey with you wherever you go. Life can be the best movie set.

“Jumping On the Bed”

Monday Monkey “At the Zoo” (Episode 22) (therecoveringlegalist.com)

4 Comments

Filed under Humor, Monday Monkey

Tagged as Adventure, Buddy, Comedy, faith, funny, God, Hospital, Humor, Medical equipment, Monday Monkey, Monkey, television

by Anthony Baker | July 14, 2012 · 12:20 am

Evil Pants

The Old Days

Do you remember the old days? No, I’m not talking about when there were only three channels on TV, or when telephones were anything but mobile. I am not even talking about the old days when cartoons were reserved for Saturday morning, providing a distinct break between school day and weekend. I’m talking about…

…when it was forbidden for women to wear pants.

What? You don’t remember those days? Well I certainly do! I remember them very well. I even remember culottes (which is a memory I try to drown with anything short of alcohol – because I don’t want to die and go to H.E. Double Hockey Sticks).

Must be Liberal

I remember the old days when one could easily determine who was spiritual, and who wasn’t. There use to be a day when a godly man could look at a woman (without lusting, of course) and know right off the bat if she was a God-fearing, fundamentalist catch. Now it’s getting hard to judge by appearances.

Once, when our pastor gave us the freedom to visit another church (it was a special occasion – we were visiting family), we went to what we thought was a very conservative Independent Baptist church. I was only a young boy at the time, but I can still remember the words my daddy said as we looked down from the balcony, “Evidently, this church has gone liberal…look there…isn’t that sad?…the pastor’s wife is wearing pants.”

The Uniform

Seriously, I am a firm believer in modesty. And if it is your honest, heart-felt, full-of-faith conviction that a woman should only wear dresses, then hallelujah! However, I am not going to make my little girl wear a dress as she learns how to kick the you-know-what out of the first boy who tries to touch her.

How many black belts (or sashes) have you ever seen wearing a dress instead of a traditional uniform? I’ve never seen one. Oh well. I guess that may pose a problem for some that are still living in the old days.

But on a different note, a Wing Chun uniform isn’t exactly a white shirt and polyester pants, either. So, you guys (especially the one in the video with the long hair) might ought to consider what you are wearing (insert winking smiley face, which is meant to inform the reader that the last comment was in fun).