Tag Archives: Parenting

by | March 2, 2017 · 10:47 pm

Childhood Wisdom?

Listen to the Children

I will never forget a commercial I saw on television. It was a long time ago, and I still get irritated. The main line that was repeated over and over was, “Listen to the children.”

Oh, it was one of those environmental, tree-hugging commercials that had little kids instructing adults how to live their lives. One little girl would say something like, “Don’t make me starve,” while another little boy would go on about how eating at McDonald’s would ruin the earth’s water supply – or something like that.

Anyway, every time a toddler would voice her scripted opinion a deep, male voice would echo in response, “Listen…to the children.” Yes, adults should listen to a 5-year-old because of her years of accumulated wisdom untainted by experience.

What Do they Say?

If we to listen to the little crumbcrunchers long enough, we will hear things like:

  • screaming kid“I don’t want to eat that, Mommy! I want cake!”  Listen…to the children.
  • “I don’t want to take bath!” Listen…to the children.
  • “If I was president, I would make everybody happy and would never have school and make parents buy every kid a unicorn and never have to go to bed and make the world like warm all the time with snow all year.”  Listen…to the children.
  • “All I want to do is go home, get some food, and play my video games all weekend!” Listen…to the…wait, an adult said that. 

AND did you know that children have figured out the whole gender (man/woman) thing? Believe it or not, according to the kids on my school bus, girls are smart, but boys are stupid. Here’s how they describe the difference:

“Girls go to college to get more knowledge.

Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.”

Girls go to college, but boys go to Jupiter. Hmmm…may we ponder that for a moment?

  • What type of intelligence was required to put man on the moon?
  • Methane and ethane make up a tiny proportion o...What type of brain power was needed to land an un-manned rover on Mars?
  • What kind of genius will it require to send man four times the distance to the sun in order to view up-close the deadly storms of Jupiter?
  • Stupid boys can go to Jupiter while girls are still fighting over who should be sorority president – and who’s stupider?

Train ‘Em

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I gather from this verse that it is therefore the responsibility of the older, wiser, more responsible parent to teach the child.

They should listen to us. But what are we teaching?

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by | February 25, 2017 · 9:08 pm

Opera of Life

“I do not understand why life cannot be a musical!” – said/sang A. Baker to his irritated wife and daughter as he musically expressed every word, the obvious result of attending an opera. 

“Because more people would get murdered.” – replied the youngest daughter of A. Baker, the obvious result of also having attended the same opera. 

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by | August 29, 2016 · 10:27 pm

A Bible and a Belt

Just doing some scrolling through Facebook, that’s when I came across the following video by a wonderful couple, the wife now gone on to be with the Lord. I think it’s worth watching.

You see, I am from a different time…a different era…a different generation. I came along before “seeker friendly” was a thing, and when “time out” was only something you took between work …or between rounds.

We look at our communities these days and wonder what to do. As I drove my school bus this afternoon I can’t tell you how many gang signs and hand shakes I saw exchanged. There wasn’t a single respectful word returned in exchange for anything I said, not even when I said, “Good morning.” And all I hear talk about is more programs and tax dollars.

We’ve got a victim-minded society that is rearing self-indulgent, over-entitled, spoiled, angry, unloved, snotty-nosed brats with no moral compass and a hatred for anything wholesome. Then, when one of the little darlings doesn’t get his way we blame the gun he uses in the crime he commits and attack the cop who arrested him.

What’s wrong? Maybe we should quit depending on the village to raise our kids and get back to using a Bible and a belt. It worked for my generation. It’ll work for this one.

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by | June 20, 2016 · 11:44 am

The Day After

The celebrations are over; the children aren’t quite as nice as they were yesterday; the cards have been opened; all the masculine gifts now sit unwrapped…

It’s the day after Father’s Day.

Now, go be the kind of dad described in those cards.

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by | June 19, 2016 · 12:43 am

Ten Ways to Fail As a Father

Happy Father’s Day!

There is a portrait of my family hanging in our living room with the following verse written below it.

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. – Joshua 24:15 KJV

There is a lot to be said about a father who will say such things. There’s a lot to be said about a father who won’t.

Tuff Stuff

I want to share with you a list I found in a sermon by a Wesleyan pastor, Bruce Howell. I don’t know if he came up with it or if he found it somewhere else. All I know is that it is convicting.

There will be a lot of people talking about how to be a better dad, but if you want to know how to fail, here are 10 sure-fire ways to screw up.

Ten Ways to Fail As a Father

1. Have fights in front of your children. Then when guests come, turn around and act affectionate toward one another.
2. Stifle your children’squestions by saying, “Don’t bother me now; I’m busy.”
3. Take no interest in your children’s friends. Let them run around with whomever they choose.
4. Never discipline your children; try to use psychology instead.
5. Nag them about their schoolwork; never compliment them on their achievements.
6. Demonstrate your love for them with material things. Give them everything their little hearts desire.
7. Never discuss the facts of life with them. Instead, let them learn about sex from their friends, public school, or pornographic literature.
8. Set a bad example so the children will not want to grow up to be like you.
9. Absolutely refuse to believe it if you are told that your children have done something wrong.
10. Let your children make their own choices in the matter of religion. Be careful not to influence them in any way.

Help us, Father God, to be more like you.

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by | March 7, 2016 · 12:46 pm

Did You Say “Chasten”?

“Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” – Proverbs 19:18

Mouths of Babes

Around 9 or 10 years ago, when I was vice president of a local Kiwanis Club, I would go read to young children at a Head Start day care program. These children were around 4 or 5 years of age.

One day I took my two young daughters with me. They observed the unruliness of several children in the class and later commented. Haley, who was only around 5 or 6 herself, asked, “Daddy, why won’t that teacher just spank those kids?”

“Because that’s against the law, Haley. Teachers can’t do that,” I replied.

“Well,” Haley huffed, “those children need a whipp’n, so somebody needs to change the rules!” Out of the mouths of babes, people. Out of the mouths of babes.

Chastening

I know that many of you reading this will disagree – some vehemently – but there is really only one way this verse can be interpreted – and it has nothing to do with “time outs” or being grounded. For example, consider these other verses…

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” – Proverbs 22:15

“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” – Proverbs 29:15

“If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?” – Hebrews 12:7

Spanking is something that is frowned on, if not illegal in today’s society. Child psychologists, with all their worldly wisdom (and that’s key), urge parents to never physically discipline their children. Government agencies even control parents with the threat of prosecution. But what is biblical? What is wise?

While There Is Hope

As one who works with children of all ages, I can testify that a lack of discipline is at the root of most unruly behavior. Our school systems are completely helpless in the face of youth who have no fear of punishment.

Solomon says, however, that chastening a child is one way to ensure a better future, even if the child, at the moment, cries out in protest. The great Matthew Henry said, “It is better that he should cry under thy rod than under the sword of the magistrate, or, which is more fearful, that of divine vengeance.”*

How many teens are in jail today because parents were too timid to use the “rod of correction?” How many instead have fallen under the “sword of the magistrate?”

While there is hope, learn to say “NO!” While there is still hope, take away the phone and video games. While there is still hope, take away the keys. While there is still hope, don’t buy those designer clothes. While there is still hope, don’t be afraid to chasten.

As we watch the news these days, the NIV translation of Proverbs 19:18 really hits home: “Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.”

Be the parent and chasten when necessary – while there is still hope.

*Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume (Peabody: Hendrickson, 1994), Pr 19:18.

This post was adapted from a post previously published on ProverbialThought.com.

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by | March 26, 2015 · 10:38 am

“Pleeeease, Daddy!”

As I watched, my heart broke, my eyes flooded with tears, and I nearly had to leave the theater – that’s how I felt when I watched a particular scene in the movie Do You Believe?.

lacey Do You Belive Movie still

Credit: Still from “Do You Believe?” Movie

Alex PenaVega (of Spy Kids fame) played the role of a young woman named Lacey. Early in the movie she is shown sitting on a couch, on her cell phone, begging her father to either come to visit her, or let her spend some time with him (as I type this my eyes are beginning to water).

Totally desperate for his attention and affection, through barely contained sobbing, she cries out to her daddy, “pleeeease!”

Now I’m crying. Seriously. Read on and you’ll understand why.

Not long ago, Katie (my middle daughter) called me up in the middle of the night…then called again…and again… She was at college and really, really ill.

Long story short, she wanted me to come get her…in the early hours of dark morning…before I had to get up and drive a school bus! It was an hour there, an hour back, not to mention loading her stuff, and I needed to be on a bus at 6:20 a.m.! But what was I supposed to do? She was my daughter, and through tears she asked, “Pleeease, daddy, I want to come home!”

I made record time to Bryan College.

Yesterday was a long day, from getting up early after going to bed late, to church last night. Then, at around 9:30 p.m. my little girl, Haley, asked, “Daddy, would you watch a movie with me?”

I looked down at my watch…my eyes were already heavy…I thought to myself, “It’s not going to be long before she’s grown and gone like the others.”…What’s another long day, right?

“Sure,” I replied. “What do you want to watch?”

The reason the scene in the movie got to me was that there are so many little girls out there…girls of all ages…each one willing to give anything for a little time with Daddy. And where are the dads? What is more important to them than a little girl on the other end of the line, soaking her cell phone with tears, crying “Pleeese, Daddy! Pleeeease!“?

More tears.

I like the way the New Living Translation renders Jesus’ words regarding fathers and their children…

“You fathers–if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.” – Luke 11:11-13

My heart broke as I watched Alex PenaVega’s character weep for her daddy. It broke because the scene she was acting out was all too real – there’s a lot of hurting people out there who may never find comfort in a father’s arms.

Oh, would to God that men would be men and be the heroes their little girls need! Heaven only knows how many precious lives would be spared abuse, broken marriages, and life-long addictions if only daddies would be daddies!

How wonderful it is to know that we as believers have a Father in heaven, our Abba Father, who loves us more than any earthly father ever could! But does that excuse us dads from being our little girls’ knights in shining armor? Absolutely not!

A daddy’s role is to strive to be like our heavenly Father: one who is compassionate; one who listens; one who is patient; one who is strong as an oak tree, uncompromising, yet still available for make-believe tea or midnight retrievals from the dormitory.

Men…dads…be there for your daughter; God’s collecting her tears.

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by | February 6, 2015 · 11:18 am

Facetious Friday

Nothing Serious

This is Friday. It’s been a good day, so far. So, I’m not going to get on my soapbox about anything, not even the biggest topics of the day.

No, I’m not going to address President Obama’s insanely ludicrous pandering to the pluralistic left at the National Prayer Breakfast.

No, I’m not going to address ISIS(L), burning people alive, Kings who act like real men and fly jets, or presidents who drink sweetened beer with uplifted pinkies, either.

Today is a day for something totally stupid…as if the daily news wasn’t full of it already.

Alien Inside

The following (mostly) true story took place on my bus at around 7:45 a.m. in response to an honest, child-like question. Names have not been changed to protect the innocent.

Me:  (to the kids on my bus) Do y’all know about Miss Cassie (she’s married, but we call her “Miss”)?

Kids:  Yeah, she’s going to have a baby.

Me:   No she’s not.

Kids:  Yes she is.

Me:   No, she is not.

Kids:  UH HUH!! YES, she IS!

Me:   You don’t know what you’re talking about…she is not going to have a baby!

Kids:  You’re crazy, Mr. Baker! You know she’s having a baby, haven’t you seen her?

Me:   Oh, I’ve seen her, but she’s not having a baby – she’s having an alien.

Kids:  NUH UHHHH!! That’s CRAZY! She ain’t havin’ no alien!

Me: Is she big and fat?

Kids:  Yes.

Me:  See. She’s going to have an alien.

Kids:  NO SHE AIN’T! How do you know she’s having an alien?

Me:   She was taken up in a space ship and they put an alien baby seed inside her.

Kids:  NUH UH, Mr. Baker! You don’t know that!

Me:  She eats green beans, doesn’t she?

Kids:  We don’t know! That don’t matter anyway!

Me:   Just ask her…ask her if she eats green beans.

Kids:  Why?

Me:   You have to eat green beans to make the alien baby green.

Kids:  No the DON’T!

Me:   Just ask her…ask her if she eats green beans. If she does, then she’s having an alien.

Kids:  That don’t mean nothin!

Me:  Is she pregnant?

Kids:  Yes! She’s having a baby!

Me:  Do you know what the word pregnant means? It comes from two words: Preg, which means “Alien”; and Nunt, which means “inside.” Pregnant means “Alien inside,” so, she’s having an alien.

Kids:  She AIN’T havin’ an ALIEN!!

Me:   Just ask her.

One child:  Mr. Baker, where do babies come from?

Me:  The hospital.

Yesterday

Miss Hensley (she’s marred, too):  Welllll, thank you very much, Mr. Baker! The kids from your bus were sooo thoughtful…asking me about my squirrel bite, and all.

Me:  Only trying to help.

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by | October 14, 2014 · 11:31 am

A Prayer For My Daughter At College

The Text

Yesterday I got a text from my daughter who attends Bryan College in Dayton, TN. She spoke of how stressed she was, of how little sleep she was getting, and how she misses the simpler life at home.

She sent a picture to me. It was a picture of the back of her left hand. On it was a reminder written with a Sharpie. She said:

Katies Hand“I’m killing myself trying to remember everything. I went to bed with this on my hand. Then I got it on my blue sheets and my face. But at least I made it to class this week.“

Later she wrote:

“My emotions are going haywire…because I am so stressed. Yet, at the same time I don’t feel stresses in some areas…And those are the areas I leave out…”

I responded with:

“I haven’t been praying for you like I should. I’m sorry. But I will.”

The Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the mercies you have shown to my family and me. Thank you for my family, including the opportunities you have given us. In this case, thank you for providing the place and the means for Katie to go to school. Thank you for the opportunity she has at Bryan College.

Now Lord, I have been to school and have gotten my degrees, but I have never walked in my daughter’s shoes (they’d hurt). Her emotions are different. Her dreams are different. Her likes and dislikes are different. But one thing I do know is that she loves you with all her heart and wants to honor you with her success. Please help her to do that.

Lord, I am her earthly father, but you are her “Daddy God,” her “Abba.” You opened the door for her to go to Bryan. You provided the scholarships to pay for the tuition we could not afford. You gave her the gifts to sing and play music. All I did was watch over her and instruct her in Your ways while she was under my roof. Now she is completely in Your hands. Watch over her and grow her into the godly, intelligent woman you want her to be – for Your name’s sake.

Katie is stressed out, but doing her best. She wants to be the model of integrity and honor, but some other students are making it difficult. Give her the strength to stand strong on her principles and counsel her with your Spirit when she’s confused or questioning what to do.

Father, you are the One who gives peace. Your Son is the Prince of Peace. As Katie has willfully taken your yoke upon her, make her burdens light as You pull along side her. Give rest for her soul and mind. Reassure her with the peace that all things work together for the good, to them that love you and are called according to Your purpose.

And dear Lord, help her to keep things straight in her head, or in a datebook, or on her phone, or whatever. Waking up with permanent marker on her face before class can’t be helping with the stress level.

In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN.

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by | October 11, 2014 · 12:04 pm

6 Ways You May be Raising Your Kids With an Oversimplified Faith (Re-blogged)

Important!

Every once in a while I lay aside my own thoughts and substitute them with the thoughts of those more brillianter than me, such as Natasha Crain at ChristianMomThoughts.com.

This morning I had planned to write about the new atheist churches (Sunday gatherings) popping up around the country. I was going to share some observations meant to encourage you to go to a real church, especially if you are a believer (if atheists believe gathering together in “community” is important to combat the effects of loneliness, why do Christians think they can “forsake the assembling” of themselves?).

But instead of writing a post about what was on my mind, I am going to share a post that  – well, the idea has been on my mind for a while, but this beautifully sums it up. This is a VERY IMPORTANT post!

Please, especially if you are a parent, pastor, or youth leader, READ THIS! (click on the picture)

oversimplifiedfaith

 

Now, after reading what Natasha Crain wrote, what are we going to do about it?

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