Whadaya Do When Your Monkey Has the Hiccups? (and other song suggestions)

Have you ever had a song that you couldn’t get out of your head? Sometimes they’re so bad you’d think Myley Cyrus had written them just to give you bad dreams.

Then there are those strange, twisted, dementedly sick videos from Billie Eilish. Good grief! I don’t advise watching them, not unless you want to stain your brain.

What’s a person supposed to do when they listen to or watch something perverted or sick that determines to repeat over and over in your mind? How do you get rid of it?

The first thing you can do – and this is the most preferred option – is listen to some good Christian music that uplifts the name of Jesus as it lifts you out of the mire of Myley’s musings. I recommend the following (with links provided):

OR, if you’re really desperate, you can watch this video and listen to this song I wrote and recorded. Listen to it a couple of times, then sing along. It will drown out any memory of the typical soul-polluting garbage on the radio.

If you keep repeating it in your head, over and over, it might even drown out the “Baby Shark” nightmares.

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Filed under animals, Humor, Monday Monkey, music

Nothing Says “I love you” Like Abortions

The following is in honor of Sanctity of Life Sunday.


Unbelievable

It’s now been 6 years ago that the former president of Planned Parenthood, Cecile Richards, was suggesting gifts for Valentine’s Day, and I feel the story is worth repeating.

I really appreciated it, too, because, as a guy who wants to impress his girl, every little suggestion for something new can help.

So, what did Ms. Richards suggest? What did she share on her Twitter account that we men needed to know? What, pray tell, are we supposed to go out and purchase this year?

Roses? Candy? Diamonds? A new car? Tickets to the opera? A new dress? A year’s supply of lipstick? Dinner at Tavern on the Green? A Ruth’s Chris gift certificate? A singing candy gram? A day at the most expensive beauty salon? An exotic vacation to Hawaii?

abortionistNo. According to Cecile Richards, the one thing that EVERY woman REALLY needs for Valentine’s Day is…no joking…an ABORTION!

Interesting…don’t you think? I wonder how that would work? Maybe it would go like this…

“Sweetie, you’ll never guess what I got you this year for Valentines Day!”

“OH! I’m so excited! What is it my dearest?”

“Are you sitting down? I bought you an abortion! Isn’t it great?!”

“AAAHHH! You are SOOO sweet! You knew that little parasite that started growing inside of me after we had pre-marital, un-protected, lust-driven sex was going to hamper my hedonistic desire for consequence-free pleasure, didn’t you? I knew you cared.”

“Hey! Don’t mention it! There’s a lot more where that came from. So, once you survive having that blob of non-human cells ripped out of your uterus, let’s forget all about all that free contraception we’re being offered, and just go for it! What do you say?”

“You really know how to treat a woman, don’t you?”

God help us! Have mercy on us! 

Lord in heaven, open Cecile Richards’ eyes to the murderous lunacy that is her idiotic suggestion!

Wouldn’t a box of chocolates and a dozen roses be a much better idea?

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Filed under Abortion, Culture Wars, current events, General Observations

I’m Going to Offend Somebody

Offended Anyone?

Have you ever offended anyone? I bet you have. Sooner or later, all of us will. We may say something we don’t mean, act carelessly, or speak the truth without love. Offenses happen.

However, there are times when simple words and phrases will set people off. For example, if you want to rile people up into a tizzy, just get on Facebook or Twitter and post any of the following words (your opinion doesn’t matter):

  1. Image may contain: 8 people, outdoor

    Yes, that’s me in the center kneeling. My dad beside me. We raced Fords. (1987)

    Grits, okra, and turnip greens

  2. Roll Tide! / Go Vols!
  3. “Only two genders”
  4. “It’s only a translation.”
  5. Rapture
  6. First On Race Day (Ford)
  7. Second Amendment
  8. “My kids will never do that.”
  9. “only between a man and a woman”
  10. Donald Trump

Seriously, use any of those words and it won’t take 10 minutes before people are arguing and fighting, calling each other names, questioning each other’s religion, and saying things like, “DON’T JUDGE ME!”

Nevertheless, we should do our best to “live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18). It should never be our intent to hurt feelings or make people angry. The apostle Paul instructed us to “follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another” (Romans 14:19).  So, as much as is possible, we should watch what we say, choose our words carefully, and do our best not to offend.

And, when necessary, we should apologize.

The Rock of Offense

On the other hand, there are times when we MUST offend. Sometimes speaking the truth is the only loving thing to do; anything less is an offense to God.

For example, the following words will not make many friends but are guaranteed to generate hate-filled comments from around the troll-dwelling universe. Yet, they must be said!

  • Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and no man can come unto the Father but by Him (John 14:6).

As a blogger, my words are read all over the world by people who hate the name of Jesus, and when I mention Him they go ballistic. I hate it for them, but how can I remain silent?

Jesus told the followers of John the Baptist,

“…Go your way, and tell John what things ye have seen and heard; how that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, to the poor the gospel is preached. And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me. – Luke 7:22-23 

I don’t like offending people, but here’s the thing: if we let the fear of offending silence the Truth, how then can we “follow after the things which make for peace?” There can be no real peace without the Prince of Peace.

So, I guess I’m going to offend somebody.

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Filed under blogging, Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Faith, General Observations, Life Lessons, salvation

Damn The Torpedoes, Full Speed Ahead–Throw It Out There Thursday, 16 January 2020

I couldn’t have said it better, myself. Thank you, Pastor Randy for saying it like it is.

Pastor Randy's avatarKingdom Pastor

Welcome to another edition of Throw It Out There Thursday! The target today is something is filling the headlines today. No, not the impeachment. No, not the impending death of the United Methodist Chaos, excuse me, “Church” (if you can actually call it that with a straight face or without regurgitating). But it is behind these and all other expressions of hate and confusion that invades and pervades our culture.

It’s Admiral Farragut’s famous expression: Damn The Torpedoes, Full Speed Ahead. And what once was the motto for courage and determination in the face of danger has become the Mantra for a subculture of folks from all walks and stations in life. It’s the subculture of I WANT WHAT I WANT BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT’S BEST AND I’M THE ULTIMATE AUTHORITY!

It’s the subculture of people thinking AND acting without considering the consequences that is corroding the very fabric of…

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Bună ziua, Romania!

Romania

I have a very special place in my heart for Romania. So many memories.

If I could take you to a box full of pictures, I could tell you story after story about the cities I visited, the people I met, the food I enjoyed, the time I came close to dying after drinking the water, the relationships, the church services, and the fish soup I just couldn’t eat.

If we had a while, I’d tell you why “Este o zi bună pentru a muri” became a repeated phrase every time we got in a car. What does it mean? It’s a good day to die.

I’d love to tell you about an overnight ride through the foothills of the Transylvanian Alps in a sleeper car straight out of an Agatha Christie novel.

You’d get a chuckle if I told you the story of me telling a Russian girl of the Romanian tree-dwelling vaca while walking through a park.

You’d laugh at the story of what led to recording a beautiful Romanian girl play her guitar and sing in a pink-tiled bathroom.

You might even tear up at the stories of sharing the gospel and Bibles with people who had been crushed under the foot of a communist dictator. And, how would you react if I showed you a picture of the approximately 80 people that accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior in one meeting I preached in village outside of Alexandria?

You’d be fascinated with the flag I was given, a flag with a hole in the center, a tattered piece of cloth that was actually drug through the streets of Timisoara during the revolution of 1989, just 2 years before (30 years ago, now).

But that was then – this is now.

And Romania has internet, internet users, and people who read my blog once in a while.

I’d love to find out whatever happened to the 80 in that village.

Maybe they’re the one’s who visit this site! Wouldn’t that be great?

Mulțumesc, Romania!

 

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Filed under blogging, Countries, places

A Post About A Talk About Myself (and Social Media)

Tonight I am going to be speaking to a group of men…

…about 40 of them.

What was the subject about which I was asked to speak?

Social Media!

More specifically, how I’ve used it and how I’m using it now to promote and further the ministry.

Hmmm. What could I say?

Let me think…

  1. We are here for such a time as this.
  2. Social media is a tool. And like all tools, it can either be used for good or evil.
  3. If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the comment sections.
  4. What you write is eternal.
  5. You don’t have to be famous or have a huge following to make a difference.
  6. Don’t let it consume you.
  7. Christian bloggers are internet missionaries, so treat every article, post, or tweet as a ministry opportunity.
  8. Don’t bury your talent.
  9. Every open door and window is one that can be closed at any moment.
  10. Pray before you post.

Well, there ya go! I think I’ll just use that as my outline for tonight. What do you think?

Heck, each one of those points could be a blog post! 😉

In the meantime, enjoy some gratuitous pictures of my granddaughter, Emma. She’s ONE!

 

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Filed under blogging, Countries, ministry

A Daddy’s Prayer

Dear Lord,

She’s no longer the baby I could hold in my arms. If I hold her these days, it’s a quick hug, a slight embrace. Gone are the days when she would put her head on my chest and fall to sleep, completely trusting in me to protect and provide.

But now I pray she’d seek your embrace, your protection, provision, and peace in Your rest.

An evil lurks around each corner, in the valley where death hides in the shadows. No longer there, I can’t be her guide. If You are not her Shepherd, the shadows will prevail.

Watch over her as only You can do. Guide her, with pain, if necessary, to the prize at the end of her race. I’ll be in the stands cheering.

Amen

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Filed under Family, Parenting, Prayer

Sawubona, South Africa!

Sawubona is Zulu for “greetings” or “hello.”

I’ve never been to South Africa, but I was very close a few years ago when I was in Zimbabwe. As a matter of fact, while I was there I enjoyed two items that came from South Africa: a great mattress and Peri Peri hot sauce (which I love).

I know I have a few followers/subscribers in South Africa. Please know that I appreciate you and pray for you and your country.

If you are in South Africa reading this, leave a comment! We’d love to hear from you.

Hamba Kahle!

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Filed under Countries, places

1917: My Thoughts On a Brilliant Movie

3 men & a movie

Yesterday (Friday) was the opening night (aside from select showings on Christmas day) for the movie 1917. I had wanted to go see it Christmas evening, but it wasn’t showing any place near me.

So, I sent out a text invite to a bunch of guys, and two ended up going with me last night: a deacon from my church and a fellow preacher and combat veteran. We left the wives behind and had a guys’ night out.

On a side note, when men go to a movie together, it is not good for them to sit side-by-side if it’s only 2 of them. If you have more in the group, there’s no requirement to leave an empty seat between you.

A Brilliant Movie

Related imageLet me just skip ahead to what you really want to know – it was a great movie. You should go see it, especially in a theater.

But what made the movie so good was not the acting, the action, the realistic combat scenes, or the plot; it was all of that mixed together with the most brilliant cinematography I’ve ever seen. From the very first scene, all the way to the last, it’s one continuous camera shot! I’d almost guarantee you’ve never seen anything like it.

The visuals, however, were as important as the story, in my opinion. In reality, the scenes from the silent, cratered fields over which the two main characters must bravely traverse in order to deliver a life-or-death message are a story in themselves. WW1 was a stupid, bloody, pointless massacre; yet, full credit should be given to the average soldier who heroically walked into the monster’s mouth whenever he heard the sound of a whistle.

Metaphor On the Flip Side

1917 was a work of art. It wasn’t meant to be realistic in every detail, especially the size of the set on which the film was made; it was meant to tell a story, and that it did.

This morning, as I was drinking a cup of coffee and thinking about last night’s movie, it struck me that 1917 could be a metaphor for life. And just as soon as I thought that, something else crossed my mind: Is life a metaphor for war?

On the one side, life imitates war. The first moment of the movie opens up with a reluctant hero resting against a tree. The last scene mirrors the last: a worn-out hero finally resting against a tree. Is that not how life is? One battle after the next, brief rests, and then more struggles in which we’ve got little say and no choice but to fight?

But on the flip side, war evidently imitates life.

Or is it that life is a war on many fronts, and war is a part of life? That is, until the battle is won and the war is over.

And what, then, is more valuable and worth the valor? A piece of tin attached to a ribbon, or a crown of life and the words “Well done, my good and faithful servant”?

Final Thoughts

I know I’m a little different. Aren’t we all? But one thing that got me about this film is something that I have started feeling more often the more action films I see: the death of individuals.

Let us never forget that every dead soldier, our side or theirs, was somebody’s child. When I saw the decaying bodies half-buried in muddy craters, an image of a mother never knowing where here son went came to mind. Each one was a soul that went out into eternity. Each one lost was a tragedy.

Because I’ve been a police chaplain, it’s hard for me to watch movies where bad guys plow through town shooting cop after cop. If it were real life, each one of those who died would have been a dad, a son, or a brother who was just trying to make an honest living while serving his community. And yet, Hollywood shows that stuff all the time without any feeling for the widows and orphans of real-life heroes in blue.

So, whether war is a metaphor for life, or the other way around, or both, the fact is that whether it be 1,600 soldiers about to walk into an ambush, or a single private blown to bits in an artillery barrage, life is precious, and each one matters.

World War 1 should never be forgotten. Unfortunately, too many know nothing about it.

Hopefully, 1917 will help change that.

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Filed under General Observations, Life/Death, Movie review

Hello, Canada! Eh? (updated)

This morning I want to send a shout out to all my Canadian friends. Hey guys! 

When I go to the stats page, I find more visits from you polite Canadians than any other country besides the States!

That’s awesome, eh?

As a matter of fact, Pastor Chris Jordan (a Canadian) helped a great deal in writing our commentary posts on Proverbial Thought. 

So, you friendly maple leafs (leaves?), why not leave a comment and tell us what God is doing in the Great White North? Is there still a French problem?

One of my favorite movie quotes of all time… “No point in steering now.” LOL!

Thanks for your syrup, your kindness, and for reading my blog!

Seriously, God bless you!

(and the Doug and Bob vids were in love, not meant to offend)

I want to express my sincerest condolences to the people of Canada, along with an apology. When I first published this post, I was not aware of the Canadian connection to the downed airliner in Iran (I do not have live TV).  Had I known that in advance, I would not have published the silly stereotype videos, but would have kept things more serious. 

Again, my apologies for not knowing sooner, and my condolences to the families and your nation.

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Filed under blogging, Countries, Humor