by | December 5, 2012 · 1:50 pm

Eye of the Beholder

A Beholder, I Am

Master Yoda, when you were stuck away in the swamp for hundreds of years, did your sense for what you considered beautiful change? I mean, with no more Yodettes around, did you ever start thinking the slimy, green critters crawling on Luke’s half-drowned X-Wing were beginning to look like wife material? Wondering, I was just.

You see, here on this earth I am beginning to wonder if my sense of beauty is being affected. As I behold what so many others consider the definition of beautiful, I fear my eyes are being damaged beyond repair!

Danged if You do, and So Forth

Women are always wanting men to think they are beautiful. Rarely do they try to excite our gag reflexes. Yet, on the other hand, when we do express our opinions we are attacked for being “male.”

Most of the time women are trying to get us in trouble by asking, “How does this dress that I don’t like make me look?” But more recently women seem to be dressing in such awfully disgusting ways, all the while still demanding that we say, “Oh sweetie, you look beautiful! That nostril necklace accents your lip stud perfectly!” God help us if we every ask, “what were you thinking?”

Our only option is to judge them fit for beholder consumption without making a judgment.

Real-World Beauty Pageant

I guess I would really like to be a real-world beauty pageant judge – similar to those who determine the predetermined winners of other beauty pageants. I could be paid to walk around shopping malls and discount stores looking to hand out trophies for “Best Dressed on Isle 9,” or “Most Modest in a Hurricane.” I could even give away prizes to single moms who kept their mascara from running while in Toys-R-Us.

Women exhibiting any of the following would be automatically expelled from the competition and fined (in dollars, cigarettes, or whatever was most valuable to them).

  • womanSpandex or Sweat Pants outside of a gym
  • Tube tops…including sweat pants pulled up high enough to replace a tube top
  • Spiked hair, especially if tipped with any color not included in a natural rainbow
  • Any item of clothing with PINK written on it
  • Any tattoo that says, Sexy, Hot, or Boy Toy
  • Exposed flesh that hangs beneath the bottom of a full-lenght t-shirt
  • Enough piercings to tenderize a 16 oz. steak
  • Or, any exposed undergarments, such as pink bra straps, thongs, etc.

True Beauty

However, fortunately for everyone, I am not a beauty judge (aren’t you glad?) On the other hand, I do have eyes, which does makes me a beholder. Until I go totally blind…well…some people are just going to make my eyes hurt. And that’s OK.

TRUE beauty can only be found within. Outward appearances can only reflect what is inside, at best. Real beauty is determined by a woman’s heart and actions.

“A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.” – Prov. 11:22 NLT

But beware men, even women who appear beautiful on the outside may turn out to be one of Yoda’s “girlfriends”.

“Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;” – Proverbs 6:25 ESV

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30 ESV

So, Master Yoda, is it that stranger things are becoming more accepted, and therefore judged to be more beautiful, or are we just getting used to the swamp?

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by | December 2, 2012 · 4:58 pm

Christmas Is the Gospel

The first Sunday of December brought with it many sermons about Christmas, I am sure. Riverside Baptist Church was no exception. The message this morning had to do with Christmas, but especially the “good news” of Christmas…the Gospel.

You may never have the opportunity to visit our little church in Chattanooga, but today I am going to give you an opportunity to hear what I preached. The recording isn’t fancy, but it is understandable. I recorded it on my iPhone…the same one I used to record Mr. Monkey acting like a fool (or is that me?).

Pick up a Bible and turn to the book of Luke, chapter two, and follow along.

Listen: Christmas is the Gospel

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by | November 30, 2012 · 7:06 pm

Don’t Be Gullible

Don’t Be Gullible.

Starving BloggerIf you have never been to my other blog, Proverbial Thought, today would be a good day to start reading it.

Today’s post has to do with Proverbs 14:15. There I tell a couple of stories that I have told in the past. Stories you might find funny.

While you are there, please check out the other authors’ works. Every day since April of this year we have been commenting on a different proverb.

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by | November 28, 2012 · 8:42 am

Women and Rubies (by Katie Baker)

Gettin’ out the word.

It would bless my heart if you would read my daughter’s latest post, “Women and Rubies.”

Women and Rubies.

Katie and Jeff Frankenstein (keyboardist, Newsboys)

Katie blogs at Shutter Elf. She takes wonderful pictures, but leaves great commentary. And to beat all, she is only 16!

Since Katie is relatively an unknown, a whole lot of people are missing out. Could you help me get out the word? If you like what she is doing at Shutter Elf, would you let her know, and then tell someone else?

Thanks, a lot!

Anthony (The Recovering Legalist)

 

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by | November 28, 2012 · 12:10 am

A Night at Rock City

What does this video have to do with a recovering legalist? You will actually see me dancing! Really!

If you have never been to Rock City, then you need to go. But if you have never been to Rock City at night when it has been lit up for Christmas, then you are missing a treat.

This week Katie sang with her home school chorus at Rock City, so we went to watch and listen. However, one can only listen to so much Christmas music when there are elves begging to be talked to.

Rock City is on Lookout Mountain, which is in Chattanooga. However, Rock City is actually on the Georgia part of Lookout Mountain, just for your information.

And for the record, I never found my missing glove.

See Rock City

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by | November 26, 2012 · 6:42 pm

A Christmas Wish

Lists

Christmas wish lists can be really amusing. Recently a mother of a needy family gave me a list of requested items for her children. I was told that the children would be happy with anything. Really? Would her children be happy with chalk, a box of Crayons, a wooden train, and a slinky? What about a stick?

Today’s children are more spoiled today than ever before. Not only do they want the newest toys and gadgets, but the toys and gadgets they want are more advanced than anything Captain Kirk used.

Wishes

And then there are the wishes that people make around Christmas time. Some people wish for world peace. Others wish for Michael Jackson to return from the dead to do a benefit concert for world hunger.

Teenage girls have the most annoying wish lists. They usually involve a prepubescent rock star who thinks he’s tough taking them on an exotic date to an awards show at Nickelodeon. If not that, then it’s sparkly vampires carrying them off into a never-ending twilight. Gag me with a spoon.

My Wish

So what’s my wish? My wish is that things would just go back to the way they were when this picture was taken.

Other than for the goofy safety glasses, I looked pretty cool!

Back in the late 80’s and early 90’s I worked for a company that serviced nuclear facilities. My job involved flying on commercial aircraft all over the country. And whenever I flew on a new or different airliner, I asked to take a picture of the cockpit.

Here, the pilot actually told me to sit in his seat and wear his hat while he took the picture. What’s even more incredible is that while I was sitting there the engines were still running. He told me to put my hand on the throttles while the engines were still running!

Can you even imagine this happening today? Not hardly. That’s why I wish we could go back to an earlier, more trusting day and age; long before 9/11 and the jerks that ruined everything.

My Hope

Well, even though things may never be the same again, there will come a day when peace will fill the land. There will come a day when men’s swords are beaten into plows. But that day will only come when the Prince of Peace assumes the throne.

When He came before, He came as a humble baby.

“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” – Isaiah 9:6

 The next time He comes, things will be a little different.

“He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:” – Luke 1:32

“For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.” – Matthew 16:26-27

 What a Christmas that would be!

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by | November 22, 2012 · 1:50 am

Thanking and the Thankee

I’m Thankful For…

So many people will be celebrating today (Thanksgiving) by starting off sentences with the words, “I’m thankful for…” Traditionalists will say it before carving a turkey. Vegans will say it before carving a large piece of vegetable protein disguised as something they secretly wish they could eat. Children will even say it just to please their grandparents and to be assured an extra scoop of Cool Whip on their pumpkin pie.

But one thing’s for sure, being thankful implies the influence of an outside source and suggests things could have been different, despite a person’s will. And even though it might sound crazy, being thankful suggests there is someone to be thankful to.

Thankful to Whom?

Maybe you have never stopped to think about it, but being thankful for anything is pretty ridiculous when there is no one to be thankful to. The Concise Oxford English Dictionary* defines “thanks” as  a “plural noun…an expression of gratitude…another way of saying THANK YOU.” So, who is the “YOU” that you are thankful to?

According to many of the stories I have heard, especially in public schools, the original celebrants of Thanksgiving were thankful only to the Indians (Native Americans). According to many accounts, the Pilgrims were so happy that the Indians provided them with food and land that a party was necessary. So, in other words, the first “thanks” of Thanksgiving was given to Squanto and the Wampanoag people.

That’s not totally correct.

Thankful to God

Like those who celebrated in 1623, I am thankful to God. Unlike the common history lessons, the Pilgrims recognized the true Source of blessing.

‎ “Inasmuch as the great Father has given us this year an abundant harvest of Indian corn, wheat, peas, beans, squashes, and garden vegetables, and has made the forests to abound with game and the sea with fish and clams, and inasmuch as He has protected us from the ravages of the savages, has spared us from pestilence and disease, has granted us freedom to worship God according to the dictates of our own conscience.

‎ Now I, your magistrate, do proclaim that all ye Pilgrims, with your wives and ye little ones, do gather at ye meeting house, on ye hill, between the hours of 9 and 12 in the day time, on Thursday, November 29th, of the year of our Lord one thousand six hundred and twenty-three and the third year since ye Pilgrims landed on ye Pilgrim Rock, there to listen to ye pastor and render thanksgiving to ye Almighty God for all His blessings.”

‎—William Bradford, Ye Governor of Ye Colony

If I am going to be thankful, I am going to be thankful to the “great Father…who has granted us freedom to worship [Him] according to the dictates of our own conscience.” As a pastor, I will lead my congregants in praise to the “Almighty God for all His blessings.”

What am I thankful for?

I am most thankful for those things which I could not have had if it were not for the grace of God. Among those things are mercy and forgiveness; a family; a peace that passes all understanding; joy unspeakable and full of glory; and even a love for my enemies.

I am also thankful for and to those who serve this great nation, putting their lives at risk for my (and others’) freedom.

I am thankful for and to those who enforce the laws and keep the peace here at home, and for those who brave dangers to rescue us from harm.

“O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.” – Psalm 107:1

And ultimately, I am thankful for all the blessings which I do not deserve, including all of you who read this blog, even those who do not believe a word of what I am saying.

One More Thing

One more thing…being that I have some Cherokee blood in me, I understand that Thanksgiving may not be a Native American’s favorite holiday, but the principle of thanksgiving remains. When we give thanks, whom do we give thanks to?

“All nations whom thou hast made shall come and worship before thee, O Lord; and shall glorify thy name.” – Psalm 86:9 

“O praise the LORD, all ye nations: praise him, all ye people.” – Psalm 117:1 

“After this I beheld, and, lo, a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues, stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothed with white robes, and palms in their hands;” – Revelation 7:9 

One day, when all is said and done, we will all stand before God and give thanks, for He is the God of us all, despite what we have done to each other.

*Catherine Soanes and Angus Stevenson, Concise Oxford English Dictionary, 11th ed. (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2004).

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by | November 20, 2012 · 6:00 am

Legalism and Responsibility in the Light of a Tragedy

Legalism Revisited

Legalism is more than a list of do’s and don’ts. It’s a way of thinking.

Legalism assumes that rules and regulations – laws – can make all the difference in the world, alleviating the fear of what happens when people are accountable for themselves. It is commonly assumed that with more laws in place people will get into less trouble. The problem is that even if a man had a rule and regulation for every area of life, he would still be responsible for his own actions.

Therefore, when someone acts responsibly in an atmosphere of loose regulation, he not only shows maturity and wisdom, but lives can be saved. Sadly, legalism and a lack of personal responsibility are at the heart of today’s story.

A Horrible Tragedy

On October 17 a tragedy took place. It was the kind of tragedy that should pull at the heart strings of every human being. An Egyptian school bus carrying approximately 60 children was hit by a train. Most of the children, ages 4-8, and two adults were killed instantly.

News reports seem to have place the blame on many people, ranging from the sleeping crossing guard to the head of the railway. News agencies from around the world keep mentioning how poor the safety records are in Egypt, each pointing out the need for more laws and greater reform.

But what saddens me is that not one news story that I have read held the bus driver responsible. In my opinion, that is where the real responsibility lay.

Speaking from Experience

As a professional school bus driver I can testify that America has plenty of laws in place regarding school bus safety, especially regarding railway crossings. But no amount of laws can make a driver stop at every railroad crossing, look in both directions at least twice, and open both doors and windows to listen for any sound of an approaching train. Even with all the laws that are in place, there are still accidents. It is always, always the responsibility of the driver to watch for danger.

Even if everyone in the country of Egypt had neglected their duties, the driver of the doomed school bus should have never crossed those tracks, whether there were working signals, or not. Flashing lights and crossing arms fail. The bus driver should have never crossed a track without being positive a train was not approaching.

It is possible that the driver saw the train and assumed that it was a safe distance away. It is possible that, when he saw no crossing arms down, he assumed the train was going slowly, if not stopped. The laws may have permitted the driver to cross the tracks if he thought the train was a safe distance away. The problem is that the speed of an approaching train is nearly impossible to determine. If he saw the train, he should have never crossed the tracks.

A Better Law

In my opinion, the buck stops with the driver. He (or she) was the one ultimately responsible for the safety of his priceless cargo. He made the decision to unwisely cross the track, despite any law that may or may not have been in place, and he paid the price.

Legalism sets up laws for us to follow. It does it’s best to guard us against every foreseeable circumstance. But no law can replace responsibility. No law can guide us better than a pure conscience. No written law, however well-intentioned, can replace the law of God written on the heart transformed by the Spirit (Ps. 40:8; Jer. 31:33; Rom. 8:3-5).

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by | November 19, 2012 · 12:30 am

My Top Posts (A Stolen Idea)

Not an Original

I am an original work of art (some just call me a “piece of work“). This post, on the other hand, is not an original idea, but one I am stealing from a fellow blogger, Chris Jordan.

Several days ago Chris wrote The Top 10 Posts on New Life. I said to myself, “Self, you should do something like that.”

Top 10

Below are the top 10 most-viewed posts on The Recovering Legalist. You may be new to this blog, so take a moment and scan the titles. There may be something there worth sharing with everyone else in the world.

Make me famous and I’ll buy you a cookie.

  1. What to Wear to Church (People do wonder, you know)
  2. Appetite for Comfort (The post that made Freshly Pressed)
  3. Dinosaur Bones Found On the Moon (Some people still take this seriously)
  4. Recovering Legalist Meets Building 429 (I acted like the legalist I don’t want to be)
  5. Even a Trash Can (God can use anything)
  6. Prostitots? (My daughters are not)
  7. Does Divorce Disqualify? (My take on a serious issue)
  8. Why Be a Legalist? (Why, I ask you?)
  9. Was John R. Rice a Heretic? (A post about Bible translations)
  10. My Take on Chick-fil-A (Don’t be a hater; it’s just my opinion)

Honorable Mentions

None of my “Monday Monkey” videos made it into the Top Ten. That makes me sad. Therefore, let me recommend a few of my favorites.

I have also done several series on The Recovering Legalist. Here is a selection of a few favorites from the archives.

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by | November 17, 2012 · 11:56 am

I Live With Animals

 

Today I am up a little later than usual, because it is Saturday. It is nearly 10 a.m. at the time of this writing and I am just now finishing an egg, cheese grits, and my first cup of black coffee (in my TTU mug).

I sat down at the computer for a few moments in order to study for tomorrow’s Proverbial Thought post on Proverbs 14:3. Then, as I read the next proverb, 14:4, an additional thought came to mind…

I live with animals, and I’m glad.

Furry and Furless

Animals. Now, when I say, “I live with animals,” don’t get the impression that I live in a barn, although barns are pretty nice if you remodel them. The animals I am referring to are not only the the four-legged, flea-bearing, shoe-chewing canine types, but the 2-legged, child-bearing, shoe-buying female types.

Barns. Sometimes I really do think I am living in a madhouse. Other times I feel like I am living in a barn of the un-remodeled style. But most of the time I am cognizant (I went to college) of the fact that animals of all kinds make messes. Whether they be furry or furless, you can tell where animals live.

Qualifying “Messes”

Before I get into trouble, let me qualify what I meant by “messes.” My children, my wife, and I do not leave the same kind of messes lying around the house that our four-legged barn-guests are capable of. We know how to use our indoor plumbing.

The kind of mess I am talking about is just the stuff that comes as a result of living a hectic life. For example, clothes aren’t always put away; dishes get piled up; the kitchen table is a community desk; and a remote-controlled helicopter is in the china cabinet (that’s my fault…along with the clothes, dishes, and table).

But what if these messes weren’t there? What if everything in the house looked like a picture from Martha Stewart’s fake family album? Without at least some of the mess, home would be nothing more than a sanitary stable or a clean crib – and that could be bad.

Too Clean

Proverbs 14:4 says, “Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox.” The New Living Translation puts it this way: “Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest.” In other words, a clean stable might be nice, but that’s not always a good thing.

This proverb is trying to tell us that in order to have the grain to make a mess, you need the messer-uppers to harvest the grain. Without the messer-uppers in the stable there will be no harvest – so quit complaining.

A strong family is a family that lives like a family, not like legalistic representation of perfection. It’s nice to have a clean house, for sure. Yet, I would rather live with a bunch of animals (myself included) in a happy barn, than like a white mouse in a sanitary laboratory.

As soon as my wife and daughters read this, my funeral will be a simple affair.

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