A Beholder, I Am
Master Yoda, when you were stuck away in the swamp for hundreds of years, did your sense for what you considered beautiful change? I mean, with no more Yodettes around, did you ever start thinking the slimy, green critters crawling on Luke’s half-drowned X-Wing were beginning to look like wife material? Wondering, I was just.
You see, here on this earth I am beginning to wonder if my sense of beauty is being affected. As I behold what so many others consider the definition of beautiful, I fear my eyes are being damaged beyond repair!
Danged if You do, and So Forth
Women are always wanting men to think they are beautiful. Rarely do they try to excite our gag reflexes. Yet, on the other hand, when we do express our opinions we are attacked for being “male.”
Most of the time women are trying to get us in trouble by asking, “How does this dress that I don’t like make me look?” But more recently women seem to be dressing in such awfully disgusting ways, all the while still demanding that we say, “Oh sweetie, you look beautiful! That nostril necklace accents your lip stud perfectly!” God help us if we every ask, “what were you thinking?”
Our only option is to judge them fit for beholder consumption without making a judgment.
Real-World Beauty Pageant
I guess I would really like to be a real-world beauty pageant judge – similar to those who determine the predetermined winners of other beauty pageants. I could be paid to walk around shopping malls and discount stores looking to hand out trophies for “Best Dressed on Isle 9,” or “Most Modest in a Hurricane.” I could even give away prizes to single moms who kept their mascara from running while in Toys-R-Us.
Women exhibiting any of the following would be automatically expelled from the competition and fined (in dollars, cigarettes, or whatever was most valuable to them).
- Spandex or Sweat Pants outside of a gym
- Tube tops…including sweat pants pulled up high enough to replace a tube top
- Spiked hair, especially if tipped with any color not included in a natural rainbow
- Any item of clothing with PINK written on it
- Any tattoo that says, Sexy, Hot, or Boy Toy
- Exposed flesh that hangs beneath the bottom of a full-lenght t-shirt
- Enough piercings to tenderize a 16 oz. steak
- Or, any exposed undergarments, such as pink bra straps, thongs, etc.
However, fortunately for everyone, I am not a beauty judge (aren’t you glad?) On the other hand, I do have eyes, which does makes me a beholder. Until I go totally blind…well…some people are just going to make my eyes hurt. And that’s OK.
TRUE beauty can only be found within. Outward appearances can only reflect what is inside, at best. Real beauty is determined by a woman’s heart and actions.
“A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.” – Prov. 11:22 NLT
But beware men, even women who appear beautiful on the outside may turn out to be one of Yoda’s “girlfriends”.
“Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;” – Proverbs 6:25 ESV
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30 ESV
So, Master Yoda, is it that stranger things are becoming more accepted, and therefore judged to be more beautiful, or are we just getting used to the swamp?