Just Write

One thing that I have heard over and over again from experienced writers is, “Just write.” When asked how to become a better writer, they say, “Just write.” When asked, “What if I don’t know what to write about today?”, they say, “Just write.”

Okie Dokie.

There once was a blubber named Blue who went to the ocean blue – who knew? He went there all scared, then came back prepared to marry a rubber rain shoe.

So, what’s all this stuff about North Korea? I think their leader actually believes the propaganda he heard as a child. Either that, or he has been affected by lead poisoning leaching from the medals of his generals.

I think that bullies are victims, too. Seriously! I read a meme posted by somebody on Facebook that blasted others for making fun of people. Well, when you bash bullies, remember that they are only scared, insecure, babies in big-boy clothes. They need love, too.

Have I ever told you that I hate the word “meme” almost as much as cottage cheese?

I have learned in my last semester of seminary that I am just as intelligent as my professors and most of the authors of my text books. No joke. I’m just not as well educated.

I broke my glasses this week, so I had to pull out an old pair with an older prescription. Until I can get some new ones I am wearing this pair with a broken ear piece put back together with a steel-like puddy. It’s not been too bad, though. Now I look like the nerd I never was. Maybe I’ll score an IT job making $150K a year!

There comes a time in every preacher’s life, especially one who preaches three times a week, when he asks the question: “What in the world am I going to preach on this Sunday?” Imagine being enrolled in a never-ending speech class!

I don’t mind when I snore.

Don’t you hate it when the weather is cold in the morning but hot as the Sahara in the afternoon? One has to start off the day in a parka, but end it in shorts and a t-shirt. It gets bad when you forget to check the forecast and end up later in the day wearing a flannel shirt and no deodorant.

It has been determined that I will never be a Calvinist.

I never liked Elmo on Sesame Street. Grover was my hero. I can even talk like him.

Kenya could use some of President Obama’s vacation money. I wonder if his daughters will go there on their next mission trip?

People are putting up gutters outside my window. I wonder that they are thinking as they look inside and see me sitting here, typing away like a professional writer? I bet they’re thinking, “Those blisters he has to get on his fingers must be painful, poor guy.”

Have a great Tuesday! 

Or, if you are reading this on another day of the week, have a great whatever that day is, too!

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Filed under General Observations, Humor

Happy Easter

As I write this, the day is coming to a close. Therefore, you have probably heard it many times before now, but…

Happy Easter!

For the Christian, this is the day we remember the most important event in history – the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

There have always been those who don’t believe, of course. But ever since that first morning when the women showed up to an empty tomb (Matthew 24), untold numbers have staked their eternity on the testimony of those who “heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life” (1 John 1:1).

As a matter of fact, one cannot call himself a true Christian if this day means nothing, for unless one “believe in his heart that God hath raised him [Jesus] from the dead,” he cannot be saved (Roman 10:9). The resurrection is so important to the Christian faith, “if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:14 RSV).

Again, have a happy Easter.

And if you don’t believe, well, there’s always tomorrow, isn’t there? 😉

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Filed under Easter, Faith, Uncategorized

Sinister Initiations (Re-blogged)

You may have read somewhere in the news about a Florida professor asking his students to stomp on the name of Jesus. Here, in an excellently worded piece, Rob Stroud points to similar instances in the past that were not so academic.

I highly recommend this post by Mr. Stroud, and I would encourage you to check out his blog, Mere Inkling.

robstroud's avatarMere Inkling Press

fumieSomething unbelievable just happened in America. Something offensive, abusive, and utterly intolerant.

At Florida Atlantic University, one of the professors taught a lesson so distasteful that, had it maligned any faith other than Christianity, it would have led to his dismissal. Instead, the student who challenged it was suspended from the course.

The class is entitled “Intercultural Communication,” and the instructor happens to be the county vice-chair of one America’s major political parties.

So, what was the malicious class exercise? The students were instructed to write the name “Jesus” in large letters on a piece of paper which they laid on the floor in front of them. Then, they were directed to stomp—yes, stomp—on the name of the person millions of people throughout the world regard as their Savior.

It’s difficult to comprehend anyone would design such an offensive “lesson,” let alone that they would actually attempt to implement it…

View original post 1,589 more words

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Filed under America, Culture Wars, current events, World View

Bug Spray Warning

A Reasonable Idea

There is a suggestion floating around the internet on places like Facebook, Twitter, etc. The suggestion is to get yourself a big can of wasp & hornet spray (a pesticide) for protection – not from bug, but from criminals.

wasp sprayYou see, it is getting more and more difficult for honest, law-abiding citizens to own and carry firearms. On the other hand, criminals are becoming anything but more friendly. Therefore, some are suggesting that using a can of wasp spray is a good alternative to a gun. Here’s an example from a post on Facebook…

[Wasp spray] can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate [than pepper spray], while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. [A church secretary] keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn’t attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection.

A Legal Problem

Having an inexpensive form of self-defense sounds all fine and dandy, especially if you are the type who either cannot or won’t own a firearm. The only problem with using a can of bug spray is that it would be illegal. Yes, illegal.

Now, you may be asking yourself, “Why would I worry about using a can of bug spray on an attacker trying to harm me or take my life?” In a normal universe, it would seem perfectly acceptable to use anything at your disposal to defend your life, correct? Well, we don’t live in a world ruled by common sense, but by lawyers.

If you were casually walking through your house one day, and a burglar broke in and chased you through the garage, and you picked up the first thing handy, a can of bug spray, and shot him in the face, you might be OK. On the other hand, if you have a can sitting on your desk, or beside your bed, or in your purse, then you could get in real trouble.

bug sprayTake a look at the highlighted portion of the picture. There you will read the following: “It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.” As any trained pest control technician would tell you, “the label is the law.”

So, if you are ever forced to use your bug spray on an attacker, bear this in mind: a good defense attorney will have your skin for the premeditated illegal use of a potentially deadly substance. If your attacker is harmed in any way, don’t think for a moment that a sleazeball lawyer won’t take advantage of you “violating Federal law.” Your attacker may even get off without jail time, all because you hurt his feelings with anything but a double-barrel shotgun.

Law and Grace

When the law is all there is, legalists will seize any opportunity. There will always be someone willing to twist the law to his (or his client’s) own advantage.

Paul told Timothy, “we know that the law [is] good, if a man use it lawfully” (1 Timothy 1:8). Unfortunately, in this day and age, there are those who don’t always use the law for good, but for gain. Therefore, be careful.

Thank God for grace.

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Filed under America, General Observations, legalism

Playing on the Bridge

“Daddy, can I?”

Every time I hear those words I wince. One reason is because it should be “may I,” instead of “can I“. The other reason is because I don’t know what is coming next.

Usually, whenever I hear the words, “Daddy can I,” others words follow that demand I either exhibit my Superman-like powers and Solomon-like wisdom, or pretend to be Bill Gates.

  • “Daddy, can I get the new iPhone when it comes out?”
  • “Daddy, can I go on a mission trip around the world next week?”
  • “Daddy, can I go shoe shopping?”
  • “Daddy, can I hang a punching bag in my room?”
  • “Daddy, can I have a motorcycle?”

Unfortunately, many times I have to tell my girls, “No.” They’ve become accustomed to disappointment.

On the Bridge

However, this time one of my girls had a request that I couldn’t deny. Katie asked me, “Daddy, can I go play on the bridge?” It didn’t cost money…We didn’t need a permit…The weather wasn’t bad…How could I say, “no”?

So, while my wife took Pampered Chef orders from other parents as she waited for Haley (our youngest) to finish her Wing Chun class, Katie and I took the car a few block down the road to the Walnut Street bridge.

katie on the bridgeOnce we found a parking place fairly close, we unloaded the guitar and walked about a hundred yards out onto the bridge. We then found a nice little place to sit, unpacked the guitar, and Katie started playing.

Unashamed

What was really a blessing was to see my daughter doing what she loved to do without any fear. As total strangers walked or ran by, she kept playing and singing. But you see, she wasn’t just playing for others to hear; she just wanted to play on the bridge. If people heard her, and if they like what they heard, then that was just icing on the cake.

How often do we just get out and do what we love to do, no matter what others think of us? Just think, if we did, some might like what they hear. But as long as we keep to ourselves, strumming behind closed doors, we miss the joy of playing on bridges. And if you never play on any bridges, you probably won’t make any, either.

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Filed under Christian Living, Life Lessons, music, Relationships and Family, Witnessing

Monday Monkey (Fur of Fury) Episode 35

It’s Monday.

I’m alive, but there’s so much to talk about right now that it might kill me.

So, heeeeeere’s Mr. Monkey!

If you need a hero to fight your evil, blue Care Bears, then Mr. Monkey is your, uh, man. OK, so he’s a monkey, but who cares?

i movie(The following video was hastily done with my iPhone 4S and the iMovie app.)

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Filed under Humor, Monday Monkey

Choose Your Topic (Warning)

Warning: The following subject material may be offensive to some. Please be advised.

Choice of College

As a parent, I believe the choice of the college or university to which you plan to send your children is a critical choice to make. What they will learn there can have incalculable ramifications. That is why my daughter will not be attending many places deemed “the best,” including the University of Tennessee at Knoxville (even though we live in Tennessee and are not Crimson Tide fans).

No, my two girls who still live at home will not being going to U.T., or any other school like it, as long as the money from tuition goes to fund things like Sex Week. If I am going to be giving any money to fund my daughters’ educations, it won’t be going to help teach young “adults” how to be more sexually expressive, especially with the same sex. Ain’t happening.

Held Hostage!

One young person (presumably a college student who now knows everything about being an adult) accused me of holding my daughters “hostage” for not spending my hard-earned dollars on the college of their choice. I was told that I was being a bad parent because I did not respect her right to do as she wished.

News Flash! It is a parent’s job to say “NO!” every once in a ….scratch that…. It’s a parent’s job to say “NO!” a whole LOT of times. As long as my children (and that is the operative word) are living in my house, eating my food, using my electricity, driving my cars, and dressing in clothing I paid for, by golly I have a say in where they go and what they do and who they do it with! I am a parent, for Christ’s sake (literally), not a best friend or “bud”!

Choice of Topics

What got me on this subject? It was a Fox News article detailing how student fees at UT are going to be funding the hosting of, among others, a lesbian bondage expert (Sinclair Sexsmith) during Sex Week. According to the info packet you can view HERE,  “getting laid” is “an urgently needed discussion” among the educated elite.

Evidently, the wisdom and insight of Sinclair Sexsmith, author of the Sugarbutch Chronicles and one “who studies critical feminist & gender theory, sexual freedom, social change activism, archetypes, and the tantric and buddhist spiritual systems,” is a voice that must be heard by our already over-sexed generation.

So, if you choose to attend one of the lectures being offered during the first week of April (fools?), you might be able to hear her, along with several other “urgently needed” topics of discussion. Speakers and topics include…

  •  Reid Mihalko – Getting Laid (Rape Culture); Hook-Up Culture on
    College Campuses; Personal Motivational Speech on
    Sexuality
  •  Sinclair Sexsmith – Messing Around with Gender; Literary Workshop
  • Charlie Glickman – Sex Positivity; Queer as a Verb; The Performance of Masculinity
  • Shanna Katz – Disability and Sex; Body Image
  • The Mayhems – Sexual Consent/Communication; Non-monogamy

Conclusion?

How do I conclude a post like this? How do I prepare for the onslaught of comments (don’t I wish, right?)?

What will I be called? Hmmm, probably a ____ of a ____ and a ____ who doesn’t know my ___ from a hole in the ground. Of course, if parents respond, and not a bunch of morally relativistic twenty-somethings who know how to rule the world with anarchy, other words may be used. Words like, “Amen, brother!”

Seriously, if you think that your offspring have not learned enough about sexual perversion from movies, music, MTV, and the internet, not to mention their friends, go with them to events like this. You’re paying for it, so you might as well learn something, right?

God help us.

“Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” – Mark 8:38

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Filed under America, Christian Maturity, Culture Wars, Life Lessons, Relationships and Family, Uncategorized, wisdom

Reality Relationships?

Random Questions

For the record, I have never watched a single episode of The Bachelor. I couldn’t care less. But when went to pay for my groceries, I walked by the magazines and saw this. Unbelievable, in a sad, pathetic way.

bachelor virginI don’t want to say too much. All I want to do is ask some questions. You don’t even have to answer them; I just have to get them off my chest.

  1. What kind of blooming idiots think, after the first season of this nonsense, that true love is being picked from a list of narrowed-down options?
  2. Who seriously believes anyone in Hollywood is still a virgin?
  3. So, Mr. Lowe, how do you feel about a dozen non-virtuous, camera-hungry females fighting for your affection?
  4. What kind of real woman would sit by and wait for a guy to decide between some other woman and her? Most real women would say, “H@#*, no!”
  5. What does it say about people when they are “stunned” to hear someone is saving himself for marriage? Were they expecting to be treated with respect by a guy would sleep with every girl in the line-up?
  6. What does it say about your dating habits when you go to a “Fantasy Suite” for a date, but find it awkward – because there won’t be any sex?
  7. How shallow and pitifully void of morality is the idea of “coping” with a “sexless engagement?”
  8. Who actually thinks this is a good way to find wife?
  9. What kind of mother says to her daughter, “I’m so proud of how you fought off all those other girls and won a man that had a hard time deciding between you and that other contestant!”?
  10. Are you kidding me? THIS is reality?

Random Verses

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” – Hebrews 13:4 ESV

“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” – 1 Corinthians 7:2 ESV

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10 KJV

A Final Thought

I wonder how a real dad with a real shotgun would influence Mr. Bachelor’s decision making process? I don’t guess that matter much, though, since it seems Sean Lowe picked his bride to be.

Hope it works out, bubba. Reality is tough on a marriage made in fantasy land.

 

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Filed under Culture Wars, current events, Defending Traditional Marriage, Divorce, Relationships and Family

A “Perfect” Role Model

Sermon Prep

Not long ago I was doing some research for a sermon on Jonah. In the process I came across a Muslim website that made an interesting observation (and I will paraphrase), “The Bible proves it is not true because God would not allow the prophets’ reputations to be smeared.”

It went on to say (paraphrasing, again), “What kind of role model would a prophet be if we read of him making mistakes?”

What kind of role model? That’s a good question! Was the Muslim author trying to say that role models had to be perfect in order to be real? Here’s a shocker – in one way or another, everybody is a role model.

If the defining characteristic of a role model is “perfection,” that would rule out King David, Solomon, Moses, Joshua, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Peter, Paul, Sarah, Mary (all of them), the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears, and many, many others…

…especially Jonah.

Jonah

Now, Jonah wasn’t exactly the type of person after which I would want to pattern my life, but he was a prophet of God. He had some serious character flaws, though. He was angry, disobedient, and was a racist who constantly talked suicide. He even spouted off to the Lord for being too forgiving!

No, Jonah’s not the type of person I would want to emulate. But hold the whale puke! I am more like him than I thought!

  • I have run from God.
  • I have harbored racism at times, as much as I am ashamed to admit.
  • I have been angry and disobedient.
  • I have wondered if life was worth living.
  • I have even wanted to see whole cities destroyed, innocent people and all, after September 11, 2001.

I have been more like Jonah more than I care to admit.

The Encouraging Part

The fact is that the Bible is not only full of role models, but models of the people we already are. Flawed, broken, and human. But here is the encouraging part: even when we are not perfect, God can still use us – and change us.

  • Jonah ran from God, but God pursued.
  • Jonah disobeyed God, but it didn’t derail God’s plan.
  • Jonah got angry with God, but God responded to him with the understanding kindness of a wise Father.
  • Jonah even wanted to die, but God never belittled him. He only focused Jonah’s attention on the bigger picture: 120,000 souls, not to mention animals, whose lives were spared (Jonah 4).

I thank God that the Bible doesn’t white-wash humanity. There are so many examples of how people, just like me, can find hope, even when we’re not perfect.

The Perfect One

It is not hard to come to the conclusion that there were some really dysfunctional people in the Bible. But you know what? That’s what adds to the authenticity of Scripture. There are no “perfect” role models in the Bible, except for one – Jesus.

“For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.” – 1 Peter 2:21-22 ESV

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” – Hebrews 4:15-16 NIV

I want to be more like HIM!

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Filed under Christian Living, General Observations, God, Life Lessons, Preaching, Struggles and Trials

Promise Fulfilled

Daddy, Will You…

Not long ago I received a list from my 12-year old daughter. It was a list of things she wanted to do with me. It was a list of things that she wanted to do with her daddy, when he could make the time.

Well, today I got to check off one of the things on her list – shooting.

Daddy Needs To…

One of the big problems of today’s society is a lack of father participation. Oh, many men (I use that term loosely) are more than happy to make babies and play house, but few are willing to make lifelong commitments, especially to being there for their daughters.

Men, your daughters need you. They need you to love them, to hug them, to have tea parties, and to go shooting. They need you to be the first men in their lives, and the ones that all others are judged by.

Daddies, don’t make your little girls look for love in the arms of some prepubescent, jobless, video-gamer. Don’t let some condom-packing thug come along and be the first one to tell your daughter she’s a princess. Every girl wants to feel special, so prove to her that she is.

Not a Victim

If you really want to do your daughters a favor, teach them how not to be a victim. You know what boys are like, so be the hero…warn your girls! Teach them that it is OK to say “no” to those hormone factories in hoodies. And for when the Justin Bieber wannabe’s try to make a serious move, teach your girls how to take away their offspring-producing capabilities.

And…where possible…teach them how to use a weapon. You can’t protect them forever.

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Filed under America, Life Lessons, Relationships and Family, self-worth