Category Archives: Uncategorized

by | June 15, 2012 · 5:19 pm

Relative Recompense

Starving Blogger

Today I went out to lunch. The person I was to meet was a man I had only spoken with on the phone and by email (sorta scary, huh?). He had no idea what I looked like, nor I he (that just sounds weird – is that grammatically correct? – “I he”?).

That’s when I had a brilliant idea – make a sign.  I needed one like people use when they stand on the side of the road asking for money (rarely work). So, I got a piece of cardboard, a marker, and made myself look like a beggar. Of course, that’s not too hard to do.

He knew who I was!

Food, Money, Whatever

Blogging is not a something one does to earn a living, at least not normally. I do it in order to give me an excuse to write. I do it because some people would rather read this than trip over dirty laundry while searching for a dust-covered journal. I do it because I love it.

There’s also another reason for blogging – the Message. My hope is that people all over the world will learn a little bit more about what it means to be a real Christian, not one of the fake, stereotypical hypocrites so many use as an excuse to run from Christ.

If I could get paid for doing this I would jump up and down like a circus clown on Meth. On the other hand, if writing would just put food on the table I would be as thrilled as a chocoholic getting a job transfer to Hershey, PA.

But if writing never pays the bills, cures my ills, or feeds me krill (it rhymed, what can I say), I will keep doing it. Every once in a while someone, somewhere, gets a blessing.

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by | June 14, 2012 · 2:48 pm

Big Mouth? Check!

Well, it’s official…I have a big mouth.

Now, I know what some of you are saying. You are totally shocked aren’t you. Some of you are screaming at your computer this very moment saying, “NO, Anthony! It isn’t true!” But it IS true. It’s been scientifically proven.

Dentists

If there was one branch of the medical field that I would hate to practice, it would be dentistry. Dentist have it bad. Just think, no body wants to visit them; they have to deal with spit and bad breath every day;  and pretty much everything they do involves pain.

On top of that, dentists get no respect. Orthodontists get all the rich clients with braces to buy. Dentist get all the people who can’t afford braces – or dental floss. And when it comes to medical school, dentists are just as educated, but nobody calls them “brain surgeons.”

Back to the Point

So, like I said, I have a big mouth, and it was proven by my last dentist visit. The tray that is meant to hold the compound used to make impressions was too small. The largest one they had was too small! So what did they have to do? Modify it.

Yep, in order to make an impression of my of my upper teeth, the dental assistant had to cut away the sides of the tray. Who wants to bet that little piece of plastic wasn’t cheap?

I have been told on many occasions that I have a big mouth, but now we know it’s something I couldn’t help. God made me that way. He knew long before I was born how many Oreo’s this “oracle” could hold.

Making Use of It

Now that it has been confirmed beyond all doubt that my orthodontic orifice is larger than most, wouldn’t it be a shame if I didn’t take full advantage of it? It would be one thing to not speak when given the opportunity, but it would be a shame to waste such a voluminous gift.

Therefore, my friends, “Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” – Ephesians 6:19-20 NIV

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by | June 8, 2012 · 9:36 am

A Poem for Friday

A few minutes ago, a couple of hours since the sun peeked over the mountains and began its job of drying up the dew, I stopped by A Sojourner’s Voice. There, Robin Lawrimore posted a poem about the morning. That got me to thinking. Maybe I should write one, too.

“It’s Friday”

Eight a.m. waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go down stairs
Hot cup of tea, butter on raisin toast
Plagiarize a song by a girl with Black hair.
 
Got a mid-term that’s due tonight
Seminary’s really try’n to kick my buns.
Still gotta finish a honey-do list
Being out of work is fun, fun, fun!
 
Friday! It’s Friday! Out of work this Friday!
Studying and reading. Gettin’ ready for this Sunday.
Friday, Friday, gettin’ down on Friday.
Need to exercise and take my morning multi-vitamin for men.
 
Wife stayed up for two days straight
Now’s she’s in bed and can’t stay awake
Gotta figure out what’s wrong with her
Don’t know if much more she can take.
 
Daughter wants to ride her bicycle
Wants me to ride mine with her, too
Maybe I should finish this poem right now.
Daddy, pastor, student’s got a lot to do!
 
Friday! It’s Friday! Mail will come this Friday!
Maybe a check’s in the mail that’ll let me tithe a lot this Sunday.
Friday, Friday, gettin’ down on Friday.
Need to pray a lot and take my morning multi-vitamin for men.

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by | May 31, 2012 · 5:41 pm

Big Picture. Big Lie.

Makeup

Just the other day I went shopping with my lovely wife, Valerie. She was in the market for some new makeup, but didn’t want to spend a whole lot. So, instead of purchasing Estée Lauder from the mall, we went to Target to find something less expensive.

For the record, I totally support women wearing makeup, just as long as they are not trying to look like Tammy Faye or Lady Gaga (gag gag). Makeup is meant to enhance the natural beauty of a woman. Anything more is false advertising.

But, as I write this, the thought comes to mind, “Anthony, some people out there don’t believe in women wearing makeup.” For those people all I have to say is, “Homely is in the eye of the beholder.”

Big Picture

Once we entered Target and I purchased my usual cup of coffee from Starbucks (they have those in some stores), we turned to walk toward the health and beauty section. A few seconds later I looked up to see a very large, beautiful woman smiling at my wife and me.

I must have looked a little strange standing there…looking up…staring. But, for some reason the clarity of the photo, the flawless teeth, and the sheer size momentarily captivated me. This wasn’t like the time I was seen 10 inches away from a swimsuit calender hanging in men’s locker room. Then, I was staring at the picture of a girl in a bikini because I was convinced she looked like my sister-in-law (it was her). This time I was just amazed at the craft.

Standing next to my wife, I looked up at the giant female face and said, “You know, there are two truths that are evident with this picture: 1) that must have been an awesome camera, and 2) somebody knew how to use Photoshop.”

Big Lie

Too many men, when they look at such airbrushed perfection, fall prey to the lie that woman actually look like that. Some desire to transform their wives into what they see, or seek a new model. They trade the “fountain of their youth” for a mirage.

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Too bad most men never see past the surface. Real beauty comes from within. Perfection only comes from above.

When I looked past the picture of the super-sized super model, there in the isle was a woman who far exceeds anything created in a studio. With or without makeup, her value exceeds that of rubies (Prov. 31:10) and she is worthy to be praised (Prov. 31:30). My wife is a real beauty – the woman in the picture is just cardboard.

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by | May 29, 2012 · 2:09 pm

Somebody’s Watching

Reality TV

Reality television has taken over the airwaves. Nearly every one of the fourteen billion channels have at least one reality show, and there are even whole networks devoted to them. As I was reading Proverbs 5:21-23, I couldn’t help thinking of all those security cameras.

It seems that criminals never learn. Either that, or they never watch reality TV. Do they not know that when they steal gasoline, rob a bank, or mug a toddler at the candy store, someone is watching? Have they never looked up? Have they never noticed that electronic eye mounted in a corner above them?

Never Looking Up

The same question might be asked of us with regards to sin. When will we ever learn that Someone is watching us? When will we look up? When will we notice the “eyes of the Lord?”

“For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.” – Proverbs 5:21-23

Addressing the issue of adultery, Solomon warns his sons that sin is not done in secret. No matter how dark the room, or secluded the hotel, “the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth” (2 Chron. 16:9a). Even though one’s husband or wife may not know, God does.

Why doesn’t the sinner look up? Too often he suffers from a form of tunnel vision. He is so focused on the temptation that he becomes blind to everything else, including that heavenly security camera above.

Bound by Sin. 

It may seem crazy that a criminal would forget cameras are watching his every move; but some the excuses they give, once caught, are equally insane. Some will literally watch video of themselves committing a crime, then deny it. They say, “That wasn’t me!”

In one program called “Bait Car,” police rig an automobile with hidden cameras. They also wire the care so that it can be remotely shut down and locked. When criminals steal the car, not only do they get filmed, but they get trapped.

Sin has a nasty habit of not letting go. The one who says “Just this once” usually gets bound by his actions. Once the fun is over, there is always a price to pay. Unfortunately for the wicked, most “die without instruction.”

Don’t Get Trapped

The Apostle Paul could have been speaking of the car thief or the adulterer in 1 Corinthians 3:19. The wisdom of the world leads the wicked to think he can get away with sin, but God ”traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness” (NLT).

Yet, for those who have sinned – for those who have forgotten to “look up” – Jesus offers you freedom from the chains of sin. When one “sees Jesus” (John 12:21), he will not only “turn from his wicked ways,” but he will find One who can break the “cords of sin.”

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.” –  Luke 4:18 KJV

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by | May 13, 2012 · 5:00 am

Happy Mother’s Day ;-)

It’s Here

If you are one of the unlucky, unfortunate, or predestined to be elected to forget Mother’s Day, I’m sorry. Either by choice or design, you should have marked your calendar and set an alarm.

However, if you forgot, there may be hope (if you are a subscriber to this blog and read your email). Because this is being posted so early in the morning, you should have time to do some stuff before you see your mother (or your children’s mother), either at church, dinner, the nursing home, Wal-Mart, or place of incarceration.

A few last-minute suggestions…

  1. Get up right now, put down your smart phone, or stand up from your computer, and make her (your mother/wife) breakfast. You may even have time to brush your teeth before you say, “Good morning!” Or….
  2. Quickly sneak out of the house and drive to your nearest 24-hour gas station (that’s petrol, for you Brits). There you should locate a fine selection of plastic-wrapped silk roses (to keep them fresh), Doritos, lottery tickets, “genuine” lead crystal figurines, and NASCAR air fresheners. Or….
  3. Draw a hand-made card in an attempt to appear sweet and child-like to cover the fact you forgot to buy one. Then, when you give it to her, create a story about how you “can’t wait till she gets her surprise.” That will give you time to figure out where you are going to take her to eat, and how much you want to spend. OR….
  4. Learn the following song that I wrote just for mothers. She will love it. “Mother’s Day” 

But Seriously

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised (Prov. 31:30 ESV). May all mothers strive to fit that description.

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by | May 11, 2012 · 9:35 am

American-Made Idol

Ten Commandments

When I first came to pastor Riverside, one of the first series of sermons I preached was on the ten commandments. Believe it or not, I had a really cool pair of fake stone tablets, and each week I would bring them in with a new commandment “engraved” upon them.

I took great care to make those “stone” tablets look as realistic as possible. That makes me think: how heavy were the real ones?  I mean, they must have weighed at least fifty pounds each! And can you imagine carrying those things down a mountain? I guess that’s what tending sheep for forty years in the wilderness can do for ya’.

No Idols

God told Moses, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). He went on to say that he should not make any images to worship or bow down to (20:4). Yet, what did Moses find when he came down and saw the children of Israel partying (Exodus 32)? A golden calf. A graven image. An idol.

So, in order to have a visual for the sermon, I made an idol. No, it wasn’t made of gold, but it’s amazing what a little tin foil, coat hangers, spray paint, and insulation foam can do. I made my own golden calf (except it looked more like a chihuahua).

When I uncovered the “golden calf” that Sunday morning, one could sense a feeling of uneasiness. “It’s fake,” I told the congregation, “so don’t feel too nervous.” In a few moments everything was fine, and the message went well.

But later that night…

The Golden “Chihuahua”

Sunday evening after church we were at home getting ready for bed, when my wife asked a question. “What are you going to do with that idol?” she said with a serious voice. “I don’t know, probably put it on a shelf in the garage.”

“Oh, no you won’t!” she replied. “You are NOT keeping that thing in the house. You either take it back to the church, or destroy it…I don’t care…just get it out of the house.”

What? Didn’t she realize how long I worked on that silly thing? Didn’t she appreciate my artistic ability, my ingenuity, my imagination? What was wrong with keeping my idol? I made it.

Conviction

Isn’t it amazing how at the turn of a moment God can get our attention? We make idols every day out of the cheapest of material. Forget the gold, we worship stuff of even less value. Our idols are nothing like the ones in the Bible, not made of solid gold, but we put them before God, nevertheless.

I was convicted. God used my wife to make a point. If I couldn’t destroy a fake idol, cheap as it was, what made me think I could do away with other idols? Real idols? The gods (little “g”) that demand my time, my attention, my worship?

Only a picture remains.

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by | May 10, 2012 · 8:20 am

Application to Date My Daughter

As a father, I totally loved this post from Jessie Jeanine. If only more parents would take dating this seriously.

Men, our daughters are gifts from God. We should be their mentors and protectors, their examples of what men should be. The last things we should be are accomplices to disrespect, abuse, pre-marital sex, heartache, regret, and the furtherance of teenage stupidity.

Print off the application in this post and USE IT! Your daughter will thank you, later…..maybe much later, but later.

Jessie Jeanine's avatarJessie Jeanine

APPLICATION
FOR
PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: THIS APPLICATION WILL BE INCOMPLETE AND REJECTED UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY A COMPLETE FINANCIAL STATEMENT, JOB HISTORY, LINEAGE, AND CURRENT MEDICAL REPORT FROM YOUR DOCTOR.

GENERAL INFORMATION:

NAME_____________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH______________________________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT__________________
IQ__________ GPA__________________________
SOCIAL SECURITY #__________________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #__________________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_________________
HOME ADDRESS_____________________________
CITY/STATE___________ ZIP___________________
Do you have parents? ___Yes __No
Number of years they have been married_____________
If less than your age, explain_____________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A motorcycle? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. Is your body a willing canvas for tattoo artists? __Yes __No
F. Do you have more piercings than my little girl? __Yes __No

(IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY…

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by | May 3, 2012 · 9:31 am

Repost of Proverbial Thought

God really showed me something special when I studied for this post. I then preached on it in church, and now I am about to do a radio broadcast based on it. Just the thought that our God would want to sit and talk with us is incredible.

Anthony Baker's avatarProverbial Thought

Proverbs 3:31-32

“Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways. For the froward is abomination to the LORD: but his secret is with the righteous.”

Preface

Let me preface what I am about to write by saying that it is pleasure to study verses of Scripture which would normally be overlooked in casual reading. When I first selected this passage, I only did so based on the calendar. Only when it came time to write did it become clear there was much more to these verses that met the eye.

I can only scratch the surface, today. However, I would challenge each reader, as with the other texts, to study them for yourself. The greatest riches of heaven are not usually handed over, they are wrestled from the Word. Dig, my friends, and you will be amazed at what you find.

The Oppressor

Solomon recognized that there is always…

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by | April 19, 2012 · 11:31 am

Mannerly Pets

Pet Owner?

How many of you have pets? We do. As a matter of fact, we have a 7lb., 4oz. four-legged family member named “Nugget,” and we love him very much! And for the record, there’s nothing wrong with that.

As a matter of fact, did you know that there is even a proverb that deals with animal ownership? It describes the contrast between a person who takes care of an animal and a person who is cruel and mean.

A righteous [man] regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked [are] cruel. – Proverbs 12:10

Put another way, godly people are nice to animals; wicked heathen are not. Is it any wonder many people abusers have also been animal abusers?

Why do I bring up pets? Because pets, specifically their behavior, can tell something about their owners (or “parents,” as one dog food company calls them).

Train Up a “Child”

You are probably familiar with the verse that says, “train up a child in the way he should go.”  For your children’s sake, I hope you do, because children need constant instruction and discipline. Otherwise, they will end up like Brittany Spears, Snookie, or a character from South Park.

We have done our best to train our children. They are respectful, obedient (mostly), and even manage money well. More importantly, each has an individual desire to follow Jesus. Yes, we’ve have made mistakes, but overall I have been encouraged by the results.

But the other day I noticed something about our dog that encouraged me. Nugget has manners!

Courteous Canine

I first noticed this when I began down the stairs. Nugget was in front of me, but as soon as he saw me behind him, he stepped aside and waited for me to go first. I said, “Thank you Nuggie, what a good boy!”

Later, it became obvious that every time I would walk to a door, go down stairs, or even drive through Hardees for a Saturday chicken biscuit, Nugget would wait his turn without being asked (yes, he gets one).

Why a mannerly dog? Why mannerly children? I believe I have the answer. It’s pretty simple, really.

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. – Joshua 24:15 KJV

 Christian Home – Christian Pets

It may sound totally crazy, at first, but bear with me. If your home reflects Christ, then you, and others, should even be able to see it in your pets. Yes, I am serious. (Go ahead, write hate mail.)

Pets (except cats – they think they’re gods) are known to take on the characteristics of their owners. Mean dogs usually have mean owners. Talkative birds are usually owned by women (did I say that?). Disciplined and mannerly pets reflect owners who care.

Sooooo….if you need any help coming up with a doggie devotional, just let me know. Nugget might be able to help.

Note: Our daughters feel the same way about their dogs, Baby Girl and Jack.

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