Category Archives: Uncategorized

Mud Wrestling (by Nick Welford)

I was really impressed with this post by Nick Welford. It really blessed me and encouraged me to remember where I came from, and Who made me. He (my Creator) deserves all glory and honor and praise!

David's avatarEbbs and Flows...

For me campsites are synonymous with mud. We have camped once as a family, foolishly heading to West Wales in 1987 where it rained for six out of seven days. When we arrived there was one waterfall cascading down from the nearby mountain. When we left there were four. Leaving was a miracle in itself given that we were camping in a farmer’s muddy field and it was still raining.  I promised myself I would never go camping again.

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Monday Monkey “Heat Wave!” (Episode 24)

Time to Cool Off!

It’s good to be back! Some friends have been asking where Mr. Monkey (Buddy) was and when there would be another video.

Here it is!

“Heat Wave!”

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Prostitots (updated)

Not a Flattering Term

At some point a few years ago, someone coined the phrase, prostitot. As you may have figured out, the word is a combination of “prostitute” and “toddler.” It refers to young girls dressing like older girls, but not in appropriate ways. More often than not it is meant to refer to middle school girls who dress like 21 year olds out to “hook up.”

Sad Reality

Sadly, there ARE moms who WANT their little girls to look like prostitots.  An example can be seen on a reality TV show that glorifies the insanity of baby beauty queens. Little girls, young enough to have the maternity ward bracelet still on their ankles, are turned into ruthless little competitors obsessed with everything from makeup to staying thin. Sadly, if it were left up to the kids, they would be out on the playground getting dirty. But with mentally disturbed mothers and fathers exhibiting twisted parental skills, the only thing these little girls are allowed to play are the judges and crowds. Frankly, I don’t care what people submit as reasons for this – it’s still wrong, unwise, and dangerous. The picture to the right does not do justice to the rampant sexuality that these little girls are being trained to exude, all in the name of being popular.

Now, odds are not many women are submitting their little girls to this kind of abuse (yeah, that’s what I call it). On the other hand, actual trends should be quite disturbing, nevertheless. Young girls today are more sexually expressive than ever before. Access to the internet and smart phones is allowing them to post and receive adult material (including self-made stuff). Clothing is becoming more revealing and makeup more alluring as time goes on. Yet, many moms are just going along with the fun, while daddy is either clueless, or forced to go along for the ride. The need to be popular, pretty, and sexy is invading the middle school.

And it’s getting bad.

It is getting so bad that even liberal women, like Jennifer Moses, are writing in the Wall Street Journal about their concerns. In an article entitled, “Why Do We Let Girls Dress Like That?” Ms. Moses lamented the fact that many moms are allowing their 12-and 13-year-olds to dress “like prostitutes,…but pay for them to do it with [their] AmEx cards…” She wonders what kind of message parents are sending to their children when they encourage children to look like girls on the prowl.

[It’s] easy for parents to slip into denial. We wouldn’t dream of dropping our daughters off at college and saying: “Study hard and floss every night, honey—and for heaven’s sake, get laid!” But that’s essentially what we’re saying by allowing them to dress the way they do while they’re still living under our own roofs.

According to Jennifer Moses, the reason for all of this is, “with the exception of some Mormons, evangelicals and Orthodox Jews, scads of us don’t know how to teach our own sons and daughters not to give away their bodies so readily.”  Now THAT’S an interesting thing to say, isn’t it?

I don’t want to speak for the Mormons, Jews, or Muslims (especially the Muslims who just burned 50 churches in Ethiopia this week), but in spite of what all the liberals have to say, the Bible has some good advice when it comes to rearing children. It even instructs against dressing like a prostitute. Imagine that!

The Bible?

The problem is that many parents have no idea what the Bible says about anything. They never read it, much less attempt to apply its principles to parenting. Too often parents want to let their children make their own decisions with regard to clothing, friends, sexual choices, etc. Rarely is it the case that they stop and consider the reasons for sexual purity before marriage. Rarely do they consider why girls should dress modestly, not seductively. Today, even Christians are having a hard time distinguishing between what is culturally acceptable or socially popular, and what is actually destructive.

Question

[GIRLS]Why do women want their daughters to dress seductively? Do they want the boys to look at them? Do they want the boys to think inappropriate thoughts? Why is it that so many women are allowing their daughters to play with fire? King Solomon advised his son, “Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids” (Proverbs 6:25). The reason was pretty simple: there are always consequences to lust.

Stop and think about it, moms. When you allow your girls to dress like eye candy, what do you expect boys with racing hormones to do? They sin. As a matter of fact, Jesus said,

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. – Matthew 5:27-28 KJV

Does it make you comfortable to think that your daughter in a miniskirt and high-top boots just may be causing another mother’s son to commit adultery? It is that serious, you know. Of course, let it be said that it takes two to tango. Boys should be taught to keep their hormones in check. They should learn from Job who said “I have made a covenant with my eyes…”

The Answer

Now, more than ever before, I believe it is time for the mature and godly men and women to step up to the plate.  The younger men and women need to know what this world is really about. So many mothers and fathers are unaware of the dangers that lie in wait for their little boys and girls. They need some mature men and women to come alongside them and say, “look, dear, this is what will happen if you continue down this path.” The Apostle Paul told Titus that the people of Crete needed the same thing.

You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self‑controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self‑controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self‑controlled. – Titus 2:1-6 NIV

A Final Thought

In response to the article by Jennifer Moses, a  critical piece appeared in Salon magazine. Mary Elizabeth Williams labled Moses as “guilt-wracked.” She also said of her own daughters:

I want them to believe that their sexuality isn’t something to be afraid of, to be doled out stingily and grudgingly…And I wish someday for my daughters — and their friends, both the girls and the boys — what plenty of us not named Jennifer Moses have been able to achieve: a lifetime of healthy self-esteem, varied experiences and zero regret. (emphasis mine)

Well, I guess we know who else hasn’t read Proverbs 5, 6, and 7, huh? Good luck with that “zero regret” thing.

Links:

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB10001424052748703899704576204580623018562-lMyQjAxMTAxMDIwMzEyNDMyWj.html

http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2011/03/21/wall_street_journal_tween_sluts/index.html

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Relative Recompense

Starving Blogger

Today I went out to lunch. The person I was to meet was a man I had only spoken with on the phone and by email (sorta scary, huh?). He had no idea what I looked like, nor I he (that just sounds weird – is that grammatically correct? – “I he”?).

That’s when I had a brilliant idea – make a sign.  I needed one like people use when they stand on the side of the road asking for money (rarely work). So, I got a piece of cardboard, a marker, and made myself look like a beggar. Of course, that’s not too hard to do.

He knew who I was!

Food, Money, Whatever

Blogging is not a something one does to earn a living, at least not normally. I do it in order to give me an excuse to write. I do it because some people would rather read this than trip over dirty laundry while searching for a dust-covered journal. I do it because I love it.

There’s also another reason for blogging – the Message. My hope is that people all over the world will learn a little bit more about what it means to be a real Christian, not one of the fake, stereotypical hypocrites so many use as an excuse to run from Christ.

If I could get paid for doing this I would jump up and down like a circus clown on Meth. On the other hand, if writing would just put food on the table I would be as thrilled as a chocoholic getting a job transfer to Hershey, PA.

But if writing never pays the bills, cures my ills, or feeds me krill (it rhymed, what can I say), I will keep doing it. Every once in a while someone, somewhere, gets a blessing.

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Big Mouth? Check!

Well, it’s official…I have a big mouth.

Now, I know what some of you are saying. You are totally shocked aren’t you. Some of you are screaming at your computer this very moment saying, “NO, Anthony! It isn’t true!” But it IS true. It’s been scientifically proven.

Dentists

If there was one branch of the medical field that I would hate to practice, it would be dentistry. Dentist have it bad. Just think, no body wants to visit them; they have to deal with spit and bad breath every day;  and pretty much everything they do involves pain.

On top of that, dentists get no respect. Orthodontists get all the rich clients with braces to buy. Dentist get all the people who can’t afford braces – or dental floss. And when it comes to medical school, dentists are just as educated, but nobody calls them “brain surgeons.”

Back to the Point

So, like I said, I have a big mouth, and it was proven by my last dentist visit. The tray that is meant to hold the compound used to make impressions was too small. The largest one they had was too small! So what did they have to do? Modify it.

Yep, in order to make an impression of my of my upper teeth, the dental assistant had to cut away the sides of the tray. Who wants to bet that little piece of plastic wasn’t cheap?

I have been told on many occasions that I have a big mouth, but now we know it’s something I couldn’t help. God made me that way. He knew long before I was born how many Oreo’s this “oracle” could hold.

Making Use of It

Now that it has been confirmed beyond all doubt that my orthodontic orifice is larger than most, wouldn’t it be a shame if I didn’t take full advantage of it? It would be one thing to not speak when given the opportunity, but it would be a shame to waste such a voluminous gift.

Therefore, my friends, “Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” – Ephesians 6:19-20 NIV

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A Poem for Friday

A few minutes ago, a couple of hours since the sun peeked over the mountains and began its job of drying up the dew, I stopped by A Sojourner’s Voice. There, Robin Lawrimore posted a poem about the morning. That got me to thinking. Maybe I should write one, too.

“It’s Friday”

Eight a.m. waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go down stairs
Hot cup of tea, butter on raisin toast
Plagiarize a song by a girl with Black hair.
 
Got a mid-term that’s due tonight
Seminary’s really try’n to kick my buns.
Still gotta finish a honey-do list
Being out of work is fun, fun, fun!
 
Friday! It’s Friday! Out of work this Friday!
Studying and reading. Gettin’ ready for this Sunday.
Friday, Friday, gettin’ down on Friday.
Need to exercise and take my morning multi-vitamin for men.
 
Wife stayed up for two days straight
Now’s she’s in bed and can’t stay awake
Gotta figure out what’s wrong with her
Don’t know if much more she can take.
 
Daughter wants to ride her bicycle
Wants me to ride mine with her, too
Maybe I should finish this poem right now.
Daddy, pastor, student’s got a lot to do!
 
Friday! It’s Friday! Mail will come this Friday!
Maybe a check’s in the mail that’ll let me tithe a lot this Sunday.
Friday, Friday, gettin’ down on Friday.
Need to pray a lot and take my morning multi-vitamin for men.

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Big Picture. Big Lie.

Makeup

Just the other day I went shopping with my lovely wife, Valerie. She was in the market for some new makeup, but didn’t want to spend a whole lot. So, instead of purchasing Estée Lauder from the mall, we went to Target to find something less expensive.

For the record, I totally support women wearing makeup, just as long as they are not trying to look like Tammy Faye or Lady Gaga (gag gag). Makeup is meant to enhance the natural beauty of a woman. Anything more is false advertising.

But, as I write this, the thought comes to mind, “Anthony, some people out there don’t believe in women wearing makeup.” For those people all I have to say is, “Homely is in the eye of the beholder.”

Big Picture

Once we entered Target and I purchased my usual cup of coffee from Starbucks (they have those in some stores), we turned to walk toward the health and beauty section. A few seconds later I looked up to see a very large, beautiful woman smiling at my wife and me.

I must have looked a little strange standing there…looking up…staring. But, for some reason the clarity of the photo, the flawless teeth, and the sheer size momentarily captivated me. This wasn’t like the time I was seen 10 inches away from a swimsuit calender hanging in men’s locker room. Then, I was staring at the picture of a girl in a bikini because I was convinced she looked like my sister-in-law (it was her). This time I was just amazed at the craft.

Standing next to my wife, I looked up at the giant female face and said, “You know, there are two truths that are evident with this picture: 1) that must have been an awesome camera, and 2) somebody knew how to use Photoshop.”

Big Lie

Too many men, when they look at such airbrushed perfection, fall prey to the lie that woman actually look like that. Some desire to transform their wives into what they see, or seek a new model. They trade the “fountain of their youth” for a mirage.

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Too bad most men never see past the surface. Real beauty comes from within. Perfection only comes from above.

When I looked past the picture of the super-sized super model, there in the isle was a woman who far exceeds anything created in a studio. With or without makeup, her value exceeds that of rubies (Prov. 31:10) and she is worthy to be praised (Prov. 31:30). My wife is a real beauty – the woman in the picture is just cardboard.

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Somebody’s Watching

Reality TV

Reality television has taken over the airwaves. Nearly every one of the fourteen billion channels have at least one reality show, and there are even whole networks devoted to them. As I was reading Proverbs 5:21-23, I couldn’t help thinking of all those security cameras.

It seems that criminals never learn. Either that, or they never watch reality TV. Do they not know that when they steal gasoline, rob a bank, or mug a toddler at the candy store, someone is watching? Have they never looked up? Have they never noticed that electronic eye mounted in a corner above them?

Never Looking Up

The same question might be asked of us with regards to sin. When will we ever learn that Someone is watching us? When will we look up? When will we notice the “eyes of the Lord?”

“For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.” – Proverbs 5:21-23

Addressing the issue of adultery, Solomon warns his sons that sin is not done in secret. No matter how dark the room, or secluded the hotel, “the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth” (2 Chron. 16:9a). Even though one’s husband or wife may not know, God does.

Why doesn’t the sinner look up? Too often he suffers from a form of tunnel vision. He is so focused on the temptation that he becomes blind to everything else, including that heavenly security camera above.

Bound by Sin. 

It may seem crazy that a criminal would forget cameras are watching his every move; but some the excuses they give, once caught, are equally insane. Some will literally watch video of themselves committing a crime, then deny it. They say, “That wasn’t me!”

In one program called “Bait Car,” police rig an automobile with hidden cameras. They also wire the care so that it can be remotely shut down and locked. When criminals steal the car, not only do they get filmed, but they get trapped.

Sin has a nasty habit of not letting go. The one who says “Just this once” usually gets bound by his actions. Once the fun is over, there is always a price to pay. Unfortunately for the wicked, most “die without instruction.”

Don’t Get Trapped

The Apostle Paul could have been speaking of the car thief or the adulterer in 1 Corinthians 3:19. The wisdom of the world leads the wicked to think he can get away with sin, but God ”traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness” (NLT).

Yet, for those who have sinned – for those who have forgotten to “look up” – Jesus offers you freedom from the chains of sin. When one “sees Jesus” (John 12:21), he will not only “turn from his wicked ways,” but he will find One who can break the “cords of sin.”

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.” –  Luke 4:18 KJV

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Happy Mother’s Day ;-)

It’s Here

If you are one of the unlucky, unfortunate, or predestined to be elected to forget Mother’s Day, I’m sorry. Either by choice or design, you should have marked your calendar and set an alarm.

However, if you forgot, there may be hope (if you are a subscriber to this blog and read your email). Because this is being posted so early in the morning, you should have time to do some stuff before you see your mother (or your children’s mother), either at church, dinner, the nursing home, Wal-Mart, or place of incarceration.

A few last-minute suggestions…

  1. Get up right now, put down your smart phone, or stand up from your computer, and make her (your mother/wife) breakfast. You may even have time to brush your teeth before you say, “Good morning!” Or….
  2. Quickly sneak out of the house and drive to your nearest 24-hour gas station (that’s petrol, for you Brits). There you should locate a fine selection of plastic-wrapped silk roses (to keep them fresh), Doritos, lottery tickets, “genuine” lead crystal figurines, and NASCAR air fresheners. Or….
  3. Draw a hand-made card in an attempt to appear sweet and child-like to cover the fact you forgot to buy one. Then, when you give it to her, create a story about how you “can’t wait till she gets her surprise.” That will give you time to figure out where you are going to take her to eat, and how much you want to spend. OR….
  4. Learn the following song that I wrote just for mothers. She will love it. “Mother’s Day” 

But Seriously

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised (Prov. 31:30 ESV). May all mothers strive to fit that description.

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American-Made Idol

Ten Commandments

When I first came to pastor Riverside, one of the first series of sermons I preached was on the ten commandments. Believe it or not, I had a really cool pair of fake stone tablets, and each week I would bring them in with a new commandment “engraved” upon them.

I took great care to make those “stone” tablets look as realistic as possible. That makes me think: how heavy were the real ones?  I mean, they must have weighed at least fifty pounds each! And can you imagine carrying those things down a mountain? I guess that’s what tending sheep for forty years in the wilderness can do for ya’.

No Idols

God told Moses, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). He went on to say that he should not make any images to worship or bow down to (20:4). Yet, what did Moses find when he came down and saw the children of Israel partying (Exodus 32)? A golden calf. A graven image. An idol.

So, in order to have a visual for the sermon, I made an idol. No, it wasn’t made of gold, but it’s amazing what a little tin foil, coat hangers, spray paint, and insulation foam can do. I made my own golden calf (except it looked more like a chihuahua).

When I uncovered the “golden calf” that Sunday morning, one could sense a feeling of uneasiness. “It’s fake,” I told the congregation, “so don’t feel too nervous.” In a few moments everything was fine, and the message went well.

But later that night…

The Golden “Chihuahua”

Sunday evening after church we were at home getting ready for bed, when my wife asked a question. “What are you going to do with that idol?” she said with a serious voice. “I don’t know, probably put it on a shelf in the garage.”

“Oh, no you won’t!” she replied. “You are NOT keeping that thing in the house. You either take it back to the church, or destroy it…I don’t care…just get it out of the house.”

What? Didn’t she realize how long I worked on that silly thing? Didn’t she appreciate my artistic ability, my ingenuity, my imagination? What was wrong with keeping my idol? I made it.

Conviction

Isn’t it amazing how at the turn of a moment God can get our attention? We make idols every day out of the cheapest of material. Forget the gold, we worship stuff of even less value. Our idols are nothing like the ones in the Bible, not made of solid gold, but we put them before God, nevertheless.

I was convicted. God used my wife to make a point. If I couldn’t destroy a fake idol, cheap as it was, what made me think I could do away with other idols? Real idols? The gods (little “g”) that demand my time, my attention, my worship?

Only a picture remains.

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