Tag Archives: Reality television

Side Effects Worth the Cure?

Ask Your Doctor

Surely you have seen the commercials on television. They advertise different medications meant to do everything from grow hair to end hot flashes. And at the end of every commercial you hear, “Ask your doctor if ******** is right for you!”

Right for me? Ask my doctor? OK, maybe I will.

“Dr. Close (my general physician), can I ask you something? I saw an add for female hormone replacement medication. Is it right for me?”

A New Disease

I can’t tell you how many times I have watched a commercial and said to myself, “Where did that disease come from? Is it common? Could I be suffering from it? Will I get to wear a colored ribbon?”

Have you ever heard of Trihemamasticular Disease? I googled it – nothing came up. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t an advertisement in the works. At this very moment, there is probably a pill being made which promises to alleviate the symptoms of Trihemamasticular Disease. And if there is, rest assured it will be the best thing for you.

Just be aware of the side effects…

  • Common side effects may include the following: nausea, indigestion, coughing, dry mouth, ringing in the ears, and a runny nose.
  • Don’t be alarmed if you experience: watery eyes, hair loss, brittle teeth, a craving for oysters, bleeding gums, or stinky feet. These symptoms are usually temporary.
  • Stop using this medication if you begin to experience: a reddening of your ear lobes, tooth loss, finger loss, memory loss, or financial loss.
  • Avoid the following while taking this medication: leather, crayons, animal fat, peanut butter, aspirin, attitudes, children, loud noises, butterfly feces, clowns, and purified water.
  • Get medical attention immediately if you begin to experience: hives, swelling of the left knee, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of starting over, unknown tongues, a desire to star in a reality show, rapid breathing, breathing through a straw while submerged in a river, thoughts of voting Democrat, or a craving for pickles.

Warning Label

As crazy as it may sound, there should also be a warning label inside every Bible. They should make television commercials explaining the possible side effects of following Christ.

Side effects may include:

  • Being hated, ridiculed, made fun of, mocked, and parodied.
  • Being ostracized, avoided, shunned, passed over for promotions, and fired from a job.
  • Being accused of radicalism, racism, fanaticism, and narrow-mindedness.
  • A cross to bear.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.” – Matthew 5:11

Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name’s sake.” – Matthew 24:9

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” – Luke 9:23

And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.” – Luke 14:27

Is this Medicine right for you? Yes! The side effects are totally worth the cure.

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Filed under Christian Maturity, Humor, salvation, Witnessing, worship

Thursday Thoughts (Another Box of Cadets Wandering to Heaven)

It’s another Thursday, and it’s time for some random thoughts about stuff that randomly pops into my brain. Are you ready?

  • Another. What is this word: another? What does it really mean? Are we using it a certain way when in reality it means something else? What is a nother? It is a complimentary adjective, or pejorative? Is it a curse word that has been smoothed over by melding it with the letter a? Sure, I guess the another could be a conjunction of an and other, but is there no conspiracy?
  • Sex Box. Have you heard about the new reality television show that is coming to America? If you are from England, then you are probably familiar with this piece of feces mislabeled as entertainment. If you are not familiar with it, just Google it – I don’t even want the link on my blog. But here’s the idea: two people have sex in a tiny room (box) on stage in front of a live audience, then come out immediately after the act and discuss it. No shame…nothing sacred…a complete desecration…and it will probably get higher ratings than American Idol.
  • Cadet Rebellion. There is a rebellion afoot in the United States Air Force Academy, and it literally thrills my soul! After one student was forced to remove a verse from the book of Galatians written on a personal whiteboard, Bible verses have begun appearing everywhere. The atheists behind whiteboard washing are fit to be tied – HA! Click HERE to read the whole story.
  • 75992_626026807452097_257849749_nWandering. As if I didn’t have anything else to do, I recently accepted the offer to be a contributer to another blog, 40 Year Wanderer. Thanks to Heather Mertens (one of my devoted stalkers), I am stressing over what to write. How is that possible? I guess it’s like I have a school teacher assigning me essays and writer’s block is kicking in. Maybe I could do a monkey video? Click here to view the “contributor” page.
  • Heaven. I don’t know about you, but I am looking forward to one day setting foot on those celestial shores of home. “This world is not my home, I’m only passing through.” It’s not that I don’t care about this world, for I would love to see it become a better place. It’s just that I know that train bound for glory is on its way. I’ve got my ticket, my bags are packed, and I’ve got my ear to the tracks. “Even so, come quickly, Lord Jesus!

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Side Effects

Ask Your Doctor

Surely you have seen the commercials on television. They advertise different medications meant to do everything from grow hair to end hot flashes. And at the end of every commercial you hear, “Ask your doctor if ******** is right for you!”

Right for me? Ask my doctor? OK, maybe I will.

“Dr. Close (my general physician), can I ask you something? I saw an add for female hormone replacement medication. Is it right for me?”

A New Disease

I can’t tell you how many times I have watched a commercial and said to myself, “Where did that disease come from? Is it common? Could I be suffering from it? Will I get to wear a colored ribbon?”

Have you ever heard of Trihemamasticular Disease? I googled it – nothing came up. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t an advertisement in the works. At this very moment, there is probably a pill being made which promises to alleviate the symptoms of Trihemamasticular Disease. And if there is, rest assured it will be the best thing for you.

Just be aware of the side effects…

  • Common side effects may include the following: nausea, indigestion, coughing, dry mouth, ringing in the ears, and a runny nose.
  • Don’t be alarmed if you experience: watery eyes, hair loss, brittle teeth, a craving for oysters, bleeding gums, or stinky feet. These symptoms are usually temporary.
  • Stop using this medication if you begin to experience: a reddening of your ear lobes, tooth loss, finger loss, memory loss, or financial loss.
  • Avoid the following while taking this medication: leather, crayons, animal fat, peanut butter, aspirin, attitudes, children, loud noises, butterfly feces, clowns, and purified water.
  • Get medical attention immediately if you begin to experience: hives, swelling of the left knee, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of starting over, unknown tongues, a desire to star in a reality show, rapid breathing, breathing through a straw while submerged in a river, thoughts of voting Democrat, or a craving for pickles.

Warning Label

As crazy as it may sound, there should also be a warning label inside every Bible. They should make television commercials explaining the possible side effects of following Christ.

Side effects may include:

  • Being hated, ridiculed, made fun of, mocked, and parodied.
  • Being ostracized, avoided, shunned, passed over for promotions, and fired from a job.
  • Being accused of radicalism, racism, fanaticism, and narrow-mindedness.
  • A cross to bear.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.” – Matthew 5:11

Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name’s sake.” – Matthew 24:9

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” – Luke 9:23

And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.” – Luke 14:27

Is it right for you?

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Filed under Christian Maturity, Humor, salvation, Witnessing, worship

Somebody’s Watching

Reality TV

Reality television has taken over the airwaves. Nearly every one of the fourteen billion channels have at least one reality show, and there are even whole networks devoted to them. As I was reading Proverbs 5:21-23, I couldn’t help thinking of all those security cameras.

It seems that criminals never learn. Either that, or they never watch reality TV. Do they not know that when they steal gasoline, rob a bank, or mug a toddler at the candy store, someone is watching? Have they never looked up? Have they never noticed that electronic eye mounted in a corner above them?

Never Looking Up

The same question might be asked of us with regards to sin. When will we ever learn that Someone is watching us? When will we look up? When will we notice the “eyes of the Lord?”

“For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.” – Proverbs 5:21-23

Addressing the issue of adultery, Solomon warns his sons that sin is not done in secret. No matter how dark the room, or secluded the hotel, “the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth” (2 Chron. 16:9a). Even though one’s husband or wife may not know, God does.

Why doesn’t the sinner look up? Too often he suffers from a form of tunnel vision. He is so focused on the temptation that he becomes blind to everything else, including that heavenly security camera above.

Bound by Sin. 

It may seem crazy that a criminal would forget cameras are watching his every move; but some the excuses they give, once caught, are equally insane. Some will literally watch video of themselves committing a crime, then deny it. They say, “That wasn’t me!”

In one program called “Bait Car,” police rig an automobile with hidden cameras. They also wire the care so that it can be remotely shut down and locked. When criminals steal the car, not only do they get filmed, but they get trapped.

Sin has a nasty habit of not letting go. The one who says “Just this once” usually gets bound by his actions. Once the fun is over, there is always a price to pay. Unfortunately for the wicked, most “die without instruction.”

Don’t Get Trapped

The Apostle Paul could have been speaking of the car thief or the adulterer in 1 Corinthians 3:19. The wisdom of the world leads the wicked to think he can get away with sin, but God ”traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness” (NLT).

Yet, for those who have sinned – for those who have forgotten to “look up” – Jesus offers you freedom from the chains of sin. When one “sees Jesus” (John 12:21), he will not only “turn from his wicked ways,” but he will find One who can break the “cords of sin.”

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.” –  Luke 4:18 KJV

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