Category Archives: Defining Marriage

Pre-Salvation Counseling?

Pre-Marital Counseling

Have you ever given pre-marital advice? Have you ever sat down with a young couple, stars in their eyes, and tried to break them up? No? Then maybe you don’t know what real marriage counseling is all about.

Honestly, one of the things I try to do before I marry a couple is to break them up. OK, no, I don’t go into a counselling session with the intent on making them run out of the room crying and screaming at each other. But what I do try to do is bring to the surface issues that might cause problems down the road which will ultimately lead to major problems, even divorce. Believe me, a lot of people could have been spared a lot pain and heartache had they been asked some serious questions before they tied the knot.

So, if you want me to conduct your wedding, you must endure at least four hours of me trying to find out if you are aware of what’s ahead.

Salvation Counseling 

Much like the syrupy-sweet lovers who want to jump into marriage without even considering what comes after the honeymoon phase, many are led into believing that becoming a Christian is the answer to all their problems. Because of many one-stop, Vegas-like “wedding chapels” we call “worship centers,” scores of people have been drawn into a relationship with Jesus – but without the “pre-marital” counseling.

Reality check: Following Jesus will not be easy. As a matter of fact, it might even result in a life of pain and suffering, of hunger and want. This relationship may even cost you your life.

And when [Jesus] had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, “Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” – Mark 8:34

Oh, make no mistake about it, entering into an eternity-long relationship with Jesus is totally worth it! Just make sure you know what you’re getting into.

See the Movie

This Friday (March 20) Do You Believe? will come out in theaters. Please, take my advice, go see this movie! It may prove to be the best spiritual “marriage counseling” you’ve had in a while. Oh, and take someone with you who is lost; you won’t regret it.

 

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Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Life Lessons, Movie review, salvation, Witnessing

Honey Maid Fatalism?

Yesterday evening, just before I was about to head on over to the church, my wife saw a commercial on the television she had on while she was doing taxes for a client. She said, “Did you hear what that commercial just said?”

“No, what commercial?”

OK, before I go any further, before any of you get too judgmental, my wife is an accountant and this is income tax season – she barely has time for sleep and is doing tax work every available minute. Therefore, even up to 30 minutes before time to leave for evening services at church, my wife – the pastor’s wife – was still sitting in front of two computer screens and listening to a television for background noise. 

“There was a commercial from Honey Maid (they make graham crackers),” she said. “Here, I’ll just rewind it…watch this…”

Evidently this commercial is not new, but would anyone with any sense like to explain to me what I just watched? Does this not in any way concern any of you? What in the world does it mean when you say, “What makes us wholesome never will”?

Some of you (you know who you are) don’t understand why this commercial upsets me. After all, it’s only a reflection of the pagan, post-Christian culture in which we live, right? “It is what it is,” some might say, “so just move on.” But this commercial DOES anger me! As a matter of fact, it does more than anger me – in breaks my heart. Let me tell you why.

First, it condones divorce, even going so far as to making it a positive for the children involved. In the first few words we hear a father say how that he never thought he’s get a divorce, but now he sees it as just that many more people to love the kids. Really? That’s akin to stating, “Hey, divorce ain’t that bad, just look at how happy the kids are!”

Second, it promotes brokenness. Yes, I said it “promotes” it. Even though this commercial is linked to a larger advertising campaign, #NotBroken, that aspires to celebrate the diverse landscape of the modern family unit, it’s actually celebrating brokenness as an inherent virtue. There is nothing in this commercial that promotes wholeness, is there? There’s nothing in this commercial that calls for the support of intact, nuclear families, is there? No, only the celebration that families come in all shapes, sizes, colors, AND sexual orientations.

Third, it’s fatalistic and hopeless. The money quote from the commercial is, “What makes us wholesome never will.” In other words, whatever it was that we as a culture ever thought was normal and healthy, forget it – we will never be “wholesome,” for there is no such thing…except for Honey Maid crackers.

But, supposedly, this is our culture. Mondelez International senior marketing director Gary Osifchin said of their add campaign, “[W]e’re holding a mirror up to America and celebrating all-American families. We’re on a journey here where we are very much showing America who they are. … It’s reality.[Source] Maybe so, but it’s not by God’s design.

We’ve given up on promoting nuclear families; now we’re celebrating the pieces left over from a nuclear blast, and supposedly the kids are happier for it.

 

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Filed under America, Culture Wars, Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Parenting, Relationships and Family, World View

Birds and Bees 2.0

The following is fiction, but based on a sad, tragic reality: children are growing up in a culture with no norms, no absolutes, and no foundations but the shifting sands of desire. The “birds and the bees” are not what they used to be.

Here’s a helpful link should you get confused with gender-related terms: CLICK HERE.


Teigan’s Story

Teigan was getting ready to leave school, when at that moment, just as soon as she exited the gender-neutral bathroom, she saw what looked to be a cis gender female with a large belly. Looking down at her own sun dress, she thought to herself, “I wonder if I could look like that?”

Teigan was just like any other gender-fluid child; gender was whatever the mood of the day dictated. Although born a male, Teigan’s parents refused to impose any stereotypical roles; they encouraged role experimentation and never referred to him as “son,” only “child.” Therefore, if Teigan wanted to wear a nice dress out to dinner with her parents, then her parents would select the most appropriate ribbon for her hair. If Teigan wanted to play ball with the other boys, he would put on his Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt and jeans and head out to the park. Teigan’s gender preferences were as fluid as water in a mountain stream, changing direction with every obstacle and shift in terrain.

Thinking of the cis female (a female who identifies as a woman/has a feminine gender identity) h- saw earlier at school, Teigan was excited to ask h- parents the question all adults dread: “Where do babies come from?” You see, there were times when Teigan wanted to be a mommy, just like the cis female h- had seen earlier. But it was the particulars of “how” that confused h-.

According to Facebook, there are over 58 different genders one could select when signing up for a new account, and Teigan knew there was no way h- could choose just one. Teigan was not a just a boy or a girl, h- was whatever h- felt that day…and that posed a problem. You see, Teigan had noticed that the only genders with large bellies (the ones with child) were typically cis females, along with the occasional gender questioning or FTM. In most cases, the one with the large belly never fluctuated gender like Teigan did. “How, then,” Teigan wondered, “could I get a big belly to show off my dress, but then wear blue jeans later with the cis boys?”

Teigan had gotten gold stars for paying attention in h- sex education classes. H- had learned all about how tadpoles and eggs become something called a parasite, or fetus… but h- was still confused. The time had come to ask his parents.

“Dad, Papa, where do babies come from, and how can I have one?” Teigan asked.

Teigan’s father’s eyes shot over at his husband’s with a look of “what do we say?” Dad sat down his latte and replied, “Papa will tell you all about it.” Papa, realizing his husband would only end up acting like a wife if he refused, agreed to give Teigan a thumbnail sketch of the new “birds and bees,” or as it’s understood today, “Birds and Bees 2.0.”

Papa began: “You see, Teigan, when a loving couple wants to have a baby, depending on their gender, sexual orientation, or surgeries that may have been performed, they might go to bed and hold each other really close. At that point, when they get really, really close, a baby is made.” Papa continued: “For others, they just go to bed and wake up the next morning, after which they decide to go have a baby made for them.”

Teigan, still a little confused, then asked, “But how can I get a big belly and have a baby, too?” With excitement, Teigan added: “It would be fun to waddle around like the cis female I saw at school – I think she was a teacher – and wear a big, pretty dress! If I fall in love and get really close can I get a big belly and have a baby, too?”

“I’m sorry, Teigan, but we haven’t evolved that far…yet,” Teigan’s other father, Dad, said. “We’ll just have to wait and see what Mrs. Clinton can do.”

Heartbroken, little Teigan began to cry. As the tears began to wash away h- sparkly blush, h- whimpered, “But I want to have a belly like those cis females who are always cis females.”

“Maybe someday,” said Papa. “Yes, maybe someday,” said Dad.

“In the meantime,” Papa asked with a smile, “why don’t we go get some ice cream?”

Awesome!” exclaimed Teigan. “What should I wear?”


My Thoughts

When I was a child, a long time ago, my dad told me the “facts of life,” which included the “birds and bees” info. Included in that awkward lecture, however, were references back to the book of Genesis, where we are told God made “male and female,” not cis male and cis female. It was certainly a simpler time.

What are we doing to our children? What kind of harvest are we going to reap after sowing such seeds of confusion? Are all the options we’re creating in order to satisfy and coddle a morally bankrupt and confused generation going to strengthen familial bonds? Will the term family even survive the next generation?

God’s Thoughts

And [Jesus] answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made [them] at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ “and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh‘? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6 NKJV

 All comments will be strictly monitored.

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Filed under Culture Wars, current events, Defining Marriage, Humor, Relationships and Family

50 Shades of the Same Lie

Movies

There was a time back in the day when I was not allowed to go to a movie theater. As a matter of fact, it was not until 1977 (I was 10 years-old) that I saw my first movie in a theater: Star Wars.

You see, the prevailing thought back then was that Hollywood movies were of the devil, sinful, ungodly, etc., and no Christian who claimed to be right with God would go pay money to see one. So much has changed since then, hasn’t it?

Really, even though I have seen my share of films since 1977, I am beginning to feel the pendulum is swinging back in the other direction. Not much is worth seeing anymore, and especially 50 Shades of Grey.

50 Shades

fifty shadesToday is opening day for a movie which is nothing more than filth, smut, prettied-up gutter scum, a proverbial loaded pistol with the hammer cocked aimed at the heart of marriages everywhere.

Like the name of this blog implies, I used to be a legalist, but I have moments of relapse. This might be one of those moments. If you call yourself a Christian and pay money to go see movie which glorifies everything immoral and feeds your own lustful flesh, you’re probably not right with God. I did say “probably.”

There is absolutely NO reason to allow yourself to be sucked into the vortex of public hype when you know what this movie is going to be about…

There are NO articles to read – it’s ALL pictures!

So, you do what you want, but God knows where you will be come showtime at your local theater. And then later, when you are trying to be intimate with your spouse (and that’s the ONLY one with whom you should be intimate!), God will know what’s going through your mind.

Reviews

Like I said, I’m not going to go see this mover or read the book; I’ve been scared enough because of other images my mind has recorded over the years. So, if you must know what 50 Shades is all about, my friend Chris Jordan posted a great article with links to all the info you will need.

“Black and White Thoughts on 50 Shades of Grey” by Chris Jordan

Remember:

“I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?” – Job 31:1 KJV

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” – Philippians 4:8 NIV

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Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, current events, Defining Marriage, Divorce, General Observations, Movie review

My Definition of Marriage May Change

I give up; I know I can’t fight it anymore.

Even though for so long I have believed that marriage is supposed to be the holy union of a man and a woman, as God designed, my opinions based on ancient texts must change. Otherwise, I will never be able to run a bakery, work at Home Depot, get preferential government bids, or dress up like a unicorn riding a rainbow (and you know how much I’ve wanted to do that).

Therefore, I am going to revamp my definition of marriage in order to fall in line with society at large. After all, love is all that matters, right? So……

Marriage, is not the union of of just one man and one woman, it is the union of two people, male or female, who love each other…wait, that can’t be right…that would be too narrow…let’s try again…

Marriage, is the union of however many people who love…wait…

Marriage, is the union of two…no, one person and one animal…wait…

Marriage, is the union of human to human or animal…DANG IT!…wait…

Marriage, is the union of human, animal, and/or plant that love each other…What?

How do we know if the dog that married the woman really wanted to go through with the vows? How can a dog vow anything? Or a horse? Or whatever? I don’t get that one.

Anyway…

Marriage, is the union of two or more living and breathing beings…Oh, good Lord!…WAIT!

Marriage, is the union between two or more living and breathing beings, AND/OR amusement park rides…(Seriously? Yep.)…wait…just wait!!

How do inanimate objects abide by a covenant, express love, raise a family, etc.? For that matter, how do animals and humans reproduce?

Good grief! All I am trying to do is be fair and open to all forms of love, you know? I mean, as a Christian I am not suppose to judge how other people express their understanding of love and marriage; I’m just supposed to accept them.  Marriage, therefore, should be left up to whomever and whatever feels some form of attraction – and who am I to call it anything but pure?

However, the more I try to be open and inclusive, the more Pandora gets upset that I’m breaking the lid on her box. Once we open wide the redefinition of marriage, where to we stop? Who is to say another person’s opinion is wrong? Who is hypocritical enough to label someone else’s nuptial wishes perverted or insane?

So, let’s try this again…

Marriage, is the union between a man and/or a woman, and/or an animal, and/or, a piece of construction equipment, and/or a child…

WAIT!

A CHILD?!!

(They do it in Africa all the time. And who’s to judge the loving folks at NAMBLA? Who do we think we are, God?)

Marriage, is the union between a man and/or a woman, and/or an animal, and/or, a piece of construction equipment, and/or a child…wait…

What about those diagnosed with multiple personalities? What about family members who really, really love each other? My God! The possibilities are endless!

The ethical ramifications of all this are insane!

The way God intended - period.

The way God intended – period.

Oh, I don’t know…maybe I should just go back to the way God designed it (Genesis 2:24). It sure would be a lot more simple, wouldn’t it?

Now, let the hate mail commence.

Links:

Woman marries dog.

Animal Marriage.

Woman Marries Ferris Wheel.

Child Marriage.

Woman Marries Herself.

Here Come the Polygamists.

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Filed under Culture Wars, current events, Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Do not judge, General Observations, Relationships and Family, World View

I’m Going to Offend

Offended Anyone?

Have you ever offended anyone? I bet you have. Sooner or later, all of us will. We may say something we don’t mean, act carelessly, or speak the truth without love. Offenses happen.

However, there are times when  simple words and phrases will set people off. For example, if you want to rile people up into a tizzy, just get on Facebook or Twitter and post any of the following words (your opinion doesn’t matter):

  1. Grits, okra, and turnip greens
  2. Roll Tide! / Go Vols!
  3. “Put some clothes on!”
  4. “It’s only a translation.”
  5. Rapture
  6. First On Race Day (Ford)
  7. “I hate Twilight.”
  8. “My kids will never do that.”
  9. “You’re an idiot!”
  10. Ronald Reagan

Seriously, use any of those words and it won’t take 10 minutes before people are arguing and fighting, calling each other names, questioning each other’s religion, and saying things like, “DON’T JUDGE ME!”

Nevertheless, we should do our best to “live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18). It should never be our intent to hurt feelings or make people angry. The apostle Paul instructed us to “follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another” (Romans 14:19).  So, as much as is possible, we should watch what we say, choose our words carefully, and do our best not to offend.

And, when necessary, we should apologize.

The Rock of Offense

On the other hand, there are times when we MUST offend. Sometimes speaking the truth is the only loving thing to do; anything less is an offense to God.

For example, the following words will not make many friends, but are guaranteed to generate hate-filled comments from around the troll-dwelling universe. Yet, they must be said!

  • Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and no man can come unto the Father but by Him (John 14:6).

As a blogger, my words are read all over the world by people who hate the name of Jesus, and when I mention Him they go ballistic. I hate it for them, but how can I remain silent?

Jesus told the followers of John the Baptist,

“…Go your way, and tell John what things ye have seen and heard; how that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, to the poor the gospel is preached. And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me. – Luke 7:22-23 

I don’t like offending people, but here’s the thing: if we let the fear of offending silence the Truth, how then can we “follow after the things which make for peace?” There can be no real peace without the Prince of Peace.

So, I guess I’m going to offend.

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Addressing the Phil Robertson Story

I am not going to take a lot of time to address this story, especially when time is so short and the wife has a long list for me to accomplish before Christmas. However, I feel it is imperative that I at least say something.

Last night I spoke to my congregation about John the Baptist from Luke 1:17, which says:

“And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

Before the well-known and beloved Luke 2 story that tells of the shepherds in the field and the birth of Jesus, Luke tells us of one who was to come before in the spirit of Elijah, preaching truth, not holding anything back, in order to prepare the people for the coming Messiah. John the Baptist was this man, the last of the Old Testament prophets, full of boldness and fire.

Therefore, it may only be a coincidence, but I find it completely ironic that just before Christmas, when our hearts should be prepared to celebrate the coming of God to earth in human flesh, we have a man (as John MacArthur described John the Baptist) “fearlessly and faithfully proclaim[ing] divine truth in the face of ruthless opposition.” And they’re wanting his head. His name is Phil Robertson.

Phil Robertson of “Duck Dynasty” fame, a committed Christian, is being blasted and hung out to dry by the media, vehemently attacked by the gay and lesbian groups, and treated like an ugly step-child by many in the church who wish to coddle the liberal left. But what I see in Phil Robertson is the rare spirit of Elijah that points its finger in the face of a degenerate culture and says, “thou hast sold thyself to work evil in the sight of the LORD” (1 Kings 21:20).

The gay and lesbian advocacy group (GLAAD) has come out and said, “Phil and his family claim to be Christian, but Phil’s lies about an entire community fly in the face of what true Christians believe…” But it is obvious that GLAAD has no idea what “true Christians” believe, nor do they understand the type of people Jesus himself held in high esteem, for it was John the Baptist of whom Jesus commented: “Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist…” (Matthew 11:11; Luke 7:28).

So, if Jesus thought that much of John the Baptist, it would be safe to assume that Jesus, the loving Savior of the world, would have approved of John’s words. What then were some of the things John said?

In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judaea, And saying, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” – Matthew 3:1-2

For Herod himself had sent forth and laid hold upon John, and bound him in prison for Herodias’ sake, his brother Philip’s wife: for he had married her. For John had said unto Herod, It is not lawful for thee to have thy brother’s wife.” – Mark 6:17-18

John was bold enough, just like Elijah before him, to declare that there is such a thing as sexual sin, to say it to the face of power, and to do it even in the face of execution. What did Phil Robertson say?

(Paraphrasing 1 Corinthians 6:9-10) “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers…they won’t inherit the kingdom of God.”

Sounds like old Phil is more in line with Elijah, John the Baptist, Paul the Apostle, and Jesus Christ than GLAAD would like to admit. And if Phil Robertson must suffer persecution because of his personal beliefs, he is better off in the long run, for sure.

“Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” – Matthew 5:11-12 KJV

His reward will far exceed any paycheck Ahab&E is willing to pay. 

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Filed under America, Christian Living, Culture Wars, current events, Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, General Observations, Struggles and Trials, World View

The Non-Boyfriend Boy Friend

Girls

Here I am, 46 years into my trip toward room temperature, and I am still having to deal with girls’ emotions. I have been coming to terms with not understanding women, or at least knowing when to stay away when they feel like expressing their intelligence. And nearly 20 years of marriage has conditioned me for another 20 years of “whatever’s” and “yes dears.” So why now, after I have paid my dues, must I once again deal with teenage girls?

My dating years were not the best of years. My self esteem was irreparably scarred by the time one of my first dates asked me to drop her off early…in a parking lot…alone. Girls were like a fire to which I was drawn, and I was the helpless bug continually getting squashed. Therefore, since I am convinced teenage girls are hosts to alien invaders, why must I be forced to give aid and comfort to the enemy of mankind?

If I had to guess, part of the curse of the Fall was having to raise teenage girls. You can’t live with them, and you can’t ______ (you fill in the blank – I’m not going to incriminate myself) their boyfriends.

Boyfriends

I was once a boyfriend, and I hated myself for it. That is why I think it is my responsibility to guide other young men away from my daughters. Being a boyfriend is the last thing they should want to be. Staying away is best thing they can do.

However, what I find troubling is the attempt my daughter is making to fool me. She insists that her friend, a boy, is not a boyfriend. Yet, whenever a letter comes in the mail (in between the 42,584 texts), she grins and squeals as she reads it over and over. She invites him over to bake for him on his birthday and have pictures made together with their cheeks touching each other’s goofy faces. Believe, where there is chocolate, followed by physical contact of any kind, I am not fooled.

Between the Lines

So, tonight I made a comment that got Katie asking me all kinds of questions. In casual conversation, my so-far-alien-free daughter, Haley, asked, “When Katie and ____ (insert name or expletive, doesn’t matter) get married…” Excuse me?

That’s when I interrupted with, “She is not gonna marry _____.”

My single, unmarried, unspoken-for, and alien-inhabited daughter, Katie.

My single, unmarried, unspoken-for, and alien-inhabited daughter, Katie.

Later, when I was sitting at the computer, Katie came to kiss me goodnight and asked, “Why did you say I couldn’t marry ______ (insert name of endangered species)?”

Correct me if I am wrong, but was I not told that the non-boyfriend was just a friend? Then why would my statement about who she’s not going to marry be an issue? If my dad had told me I wasn’t going to marry my friend Kevin, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings one bit. So what’s the deal with endangered boy and daydreamer?

If she marries he-who-walks-on-thin-ice, then I’ll be forced to like him. Until then, what’s wrong with simply protecting a non-boyfriend from a danger he can’t understand? Who knows? If I spare him from being abducted by an alien, I might be the best friend the non-boyfriend boy friend could ever have.

He will thank me, later.

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Her Pain Is Mine

Fibromyalgia

I don’t know what you know about fibromyalgia, but whatever it is, whatever causes it, my wife suffers terribly from it. Over the last several years it has robbed my wife of her ability to enjoy many things in life that we take for granted, like sitting, sleeping, getting dressed, washing one’s hair, or even being hugged.

So many people doubt fibromyalgia is real. They say that if it was a legitimate illness, then there would be clearly identifiable symptoms, specific medications or treatments that would work, and even a Jerry Lewis-like celebrity raising money for research. Unfortunately, the only real constant for my wife is pain, and all that comes with never getting relief.

valeriePutting on a brave face is a daily occurrence. My wife was always the hard worker, the entrepreneur, and the aggravating “early riser” who would wake everyone else in the house with, “Thank you, Lord, for this fine day!” Now, her smile is for the encouragement of others who look to her as a pastor’s wife; but her family knows the truth: she spends much of her time in tears.

We have tried doctor after doctor, from local clinics to Vanderbilt. Tests of every kind have been run, yet all are inconclusive. The only diagnosis is fibromyalgia – and there is no cure. She has her better days, and her really bad days, but rarely are there good days. It would seem that this is a burden which we are destined to bear, that is, until God sees fit to lift it.

After a particular troubling doctor visit today, one who made all kinds of false assumptions and accusations, my dear wife decided she couldn’t handle much more. She wept. That is when I wrote the following poem.

Give Us Strength

I tend to wonder

About what I know

Or at least what I think I know

About pain, about grief

About the reason for no sleep

I tend to wonder

I tend to ask

The usual “whys?”

And I guess I know the “why”

But I doubt at times

When there’s no reason or rhyme

I tend to ask

I know the truth

But I tend to wonder

About the load she’s under

The pain without an end

I ask for answers, even when

I know the Truth

Give me strength

But give her more

Dry her tears; make mine pour

On my shoulders place her sorrow

And for the joy again tomorrow

Give us strength

Pray for Us

I try to be funny on this blog. There are times I get angry, too. But right now I really want to ask all of you who pray to intercede for my wife, Valerie. Pray for her healing. Pray that I will know how to better encourage her. But pray, most of all, that through all that we endure God will receive the glory.

As both of us cry together and wonder why she has to go through this, I am reminded of our Savior who also cried in the garden and said: “Father, if it be your will, let this cup pass from me.” Our prayer is that this will pass.

But, Jesus also said, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done.” (Luke 22:42) Whatever tomorrow holds, to God be the glory!

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV

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Another Marriage Prerequisite

Weddings

I do weddings.

But let me be honest, weddings aren’t always fun, and they are most certainly never easy. I do weddings, but I don’t always want to.

weddingWhy don’t I want to do weddings every time I am asked? Because so many know so little about what marriage is, where it came from, what it means, or what it will take to make it work. For crying out loud, most people that say they want to get married don’t even know the person to whom they are about to commit.

I do weddings, yes, but I require pre-marital counseling. Period.

Counseling

I have several things that I require a couple to go through before I will consent to marry them. Aside from the basic questions that must be asked, a while back I decided to require anyone I marry to watch 2 movies:

  1. Fireproof
  2. Courageous

You see, I figure it this way – if you really want to get married, then you should be able to watch a couple of movies and then talk about them. If you can’t do that, or if you’re just too rushed, then you don’t need to get married; you are already starting off on the wrong foot.

Additional Requirement

Now I have a new requirement. On top of Fireproof and Courageous, I have another video to watch before anyone hears, “I now pronounce you man and wife.” My daughter recently showed me a video she watched at camp. The first time I watched it I cried. I was forced to admit I have not been the godly husband I need to be.

I have been preaching through the book of Ephesians on Sunday nights. This past Sunday night we came to the part in chapter five that deals with “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord,” and “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church…” (Eph. 5:22, 25). It is a touchy section in this day and age, but it shouldn’t be, at least not with those who understand the meaning of marriage and the “mystery” of the church (Eph. 5:32). Too many come to the “submit” part and stop. They fail to understand that “submission” in marriage goes both ways; that marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and the church; and that the wife’s “submission” and husband’s “love” are supposed to work in conjunction.

However you want to argue it, though, if the husband would love his wife like Jesus loved us, then there would be a lot more happy wives out there, not to mention healthy families and lasting marriages.

What we need, ladies and gentlemen, is a “Crucifixion Type Love.

Watch the video.

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