I’m a Christian.
But I’m also a daddy.
I don’t like it when my little girls cry.
If you want to find out how spiritual I am at any given moment, just make my little girls cry.
I may disappoint you.
Category Archives: Christian Living
Scrutinizing the Meatball Story
Preface
The way this post came about is simple: it’s my daughter Haley’s birthday. How is that relevant? Well, there’s a classic Italian restaurant in our town called Provino’s where you can eat free on your birthday (with proof, of course).
Image Credit: Provino’s
Thinking of Italian food, my wife started in with an old, familiar children’s song, “On Top of Spaghetti.” It only took a couple of lines before Haley, little Miss Observant, started picking apart the whole meatball-getting-blown-off-with-a-sneeze thing.
I had to join in.
Observations
The following observations and questions submitted, had they been used shortly after the incident, would have proven early on that the whole meatball story was a fabrication – a lie.
It is our contention that “On Top of Spaghetti” has been used as a pattern by children seeking to fabricate their own explanations for why food disappears from the table and ends up either on the floor, eaten by the family pet, or outside under a bush.
Please accept the following for consideration:
1. Who sneezed? Who is this “somebody”? Were they ever held accountable for contaminating a person’s meal?
2. How old was the person eating spaghetti and meatballs? Does the song encourage young children to consume choking hazards? Should it be banned from pre-schools?
3. How hard does a person have to sneeze in order to blow a meatball off it’s cheese-covered perch? Even more, what nasal velocity would be required to dislodge a meatball from it’s settled location with enough force to cause it to roll off the table and onto the floor? The blast required from the sneezer must have been severely traumatic due to the air pressure that must have been required to remove a meatball from its resting place. Was any medical attention needed?
4. If the meatball in question was subjected to enough force to blow it from the table, onto the floor, out of the door, and out into the yard, wouldn’t the rest of the spaghetti have been disturbed? Why no mention of that?
5. The song describes the meatball rolling off the table, hitting the floor, then rolling out the door. It would seem that…
a) Since the meatball in question was admittedly covered with “sauce,” the sauce would have caused considerable resistance, thereby increasing the wind speed necessary to propel the meatball.
b) It is nearly impossible to imagine how a meatball being propelled by a blast of wind could have “rolled” and fallen to the floor, after which it is said to have continued to roll, without first becoming air-born.
6. Was the person eating spaghetti living in the United States? If so, was he/she living in a barn? Why was the front door open? Someone must have never heard about flies.
7. Before the meatball in question ended up under some kind of bush, it is said to first have rolled through some kind of garden. What kind of garden? Were there no other plants which could have impeded the meatball’s rolling progression? Again, what kind of propulsion would have been necessary for this to happen?
8. It is said that by the time the meatball came to rest under a shrubbery, it was “nothing but mush.” It would seem, then, that the collision with the bush must have cause the damage; “mush” does not roll.
9 . According to testimony, the “mush was so tasty, as tasty could be…” So, was the meatball disturbed after coming to rest? Was it tasted after rolling into the garden? Was it the meatball or accumulated fertilizer that was so tasty?
10. Lastly, it is said that the tasty, meaty projectile grew into a meatball tree (each meatball covered in sauce) in less than a year. This is questionable because,
a) Seeds never grow into fruit-producing trees in less than a year.
b) Sauce is a condiment, not integral with the meatball itself.
Conclusion
It is clear to my 14 year-old daughter and myself that the person who lost his/her “poor meatball” is attempting to cover up a crime. The explanation given for the missing meatball is too incredible to believe, and therefore must be the result of a spur-of-the-moment, child-like fanciful attempt to disguise the willful hurling of a meat product as an accident, thereby attempting to lay the blame on someone who sneezed.
Happy birthday, Haley! Keep thinking things through!
A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies. … The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going. – Proverbs 14:5, 15
Filed under Food, General Observations, Humor, Parenting, Relationships and Family, wisdom
Standing Sure In a Crumbling World
World Events
Let’s get real for a moment, shall we? The world seems to be coming apart at the seams right now. Russia and Ukraine are fighting; Israel and Hamas are fighting; ISIS is trying to take over the world; airplanes are crashing or being blown out of the sky; new diseases are popping up everywhere; and more former Disney child stars are choosing to cry out, “I don’t want to be a role model!” while exposing their bare behinds.
Face it, the world is going to hell in a hand basket and Toto has already jumped.
But seriously, as bad as the world is, it’s not like we have Nero for a president. Oh, but wait! America isn’t the only country in the world, you know, and Christians are being killed as often today as they were in the first and second centuries (along with anyone who refuses to yell “Allah Akbar!” as he beheads his sister).
Life Goes On
But even as we look around at a world in turmoil, does that mean we must forget about living? Sure, the temptation might be to down a bottle of Prozac and curl up in a ball, all the while waiting for the first warhead to hit your town.
However, kingdoms rise and fall and nations come and go, yet children still need moms and dads, strangers still need a kind word, and the way we live is still important.
As a matter of fact, right before another group of people’s world was about to be turned upside down, Jesus Christ gave some timeless instruction on living from a hillside (The full text can be found in Matthew, chapters 5-7). His words still apply today. Below are a few excerpts:
“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”
“Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”
“Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”
“Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”
“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
Jesus then concluded his sermon with the following encouragement…
“Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.” – Matthew 7:24-25
Though the world might be falling apart, we don’t have to.
Filed under America, Christian Living, current events, the future
Forsake Foolishness, Or Else
A Lost Post
It has been a while since I last wrote a new post for ProverbialThought.com, but in the process of re-posting entries I found that Proverbs 9:6 had never been addressed! Not only was it not published on the blog, but it never made the book! (Click HERE to purchase) That’s terribly embarrassing, especially since all of the editing that has been done. How did we miss it?
Therefore, this is a web exclusive!
Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding. – Proverbs 9:6
Forsaking
The first word in this verse is an imperative: forsake. It’s not a word that suggests temporarily turning away, but abandonment. To forsake something is like saying “to heck with you,” turning on one’s heels, walking out the door, slamming it, going to the airport, buying a plane ticket, arriving at the destination, then burning one’s passport.
Why are simple words hard to understand?
Foolish
If you have been reading Proverbs at all, even the least bit, you should be aware of what foolishness is. Foolishness is man’s wisdom, not God’s. Foolishness is acting stupidly, even when you know there is a better way. Foolishness is rebellion, selfishness, seeking one’s own way, and never caring where the road leads, just as long as the trip is fun.
The “foolish” we’re commanded to forsake could be a combination of things. The “foolish” could be people, ideas, actions, philosophies, worldviews, attitudes, etc. There are foolish friends, foolish plans, foolish job opportunities, foolish desires, and foolish dreams – all of which lead down a bad road.
Forsake the foolish, and you might survive; don’t, and you’re in trouble.
The Way
The “way of understanding” can be interpreted as the “right” way, or even the way on which wisdom has already walked. It is the way in which people walk who walk in wisdom, seek wisdom, and love wisdom.
When we walk in the “way of understanding” we consider the consequences of each step and the direction we are going. The direction is a 180 away from foolishness.
Living
But why is it that so many are more likely to hold on to the “foolish” rather than travel in the way of understanding? Instead of walking out the door and leaving the old ways behind, why is it that so many are more apt to slam the door from the inside, lock it, and turn up the music? The reason is based on one’s understanding of “living.”
One beer company is famous for touting the “high life.” Another shows people partying away the night saying, “It doesn’t get any better than this.” Everything from hotels to video game systems have encouraged consumers by promising, “This is living!”
Funny. Even kind of ironic, I must say. It’s hard to go down any path when you’ve locked yourself inside with computer game.
Timely?
Yes, this post is technically 2 years late. On the other hand, God knew exactly who would be writing it and what would be going on. As my daughter Katie looked over my shoulder and read the proverb about which I was to write, she said, “Well, that’s timely…”
This week we’ve dealt with foolishness, the foolish, and an unwillingness to forsake it. I have personally witnessed a close family member, blinded by a lack of wisdom, detail a specific plan for destruction. I’ve even faced down a foolish physical threat. Foolishness…simply foolishness.
There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. – Proverbs 16:25
Forsake foolishness and live, or shut the door and die. The way is up to you.
Filed under blogging, Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Life Lessons, wisdom
Sexy Selfies
Dear, dear friends, subscribers, groupies, stalkers, and trolls… (by the way, I hate all the links that WordPress is randomly adding to the text!)
Today I read a blog post I just had to share. It dovetails so nicely with an older post of mine about “Prostitots.”
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com | Shandi Lee (as found on Girl Defined)
Still Awake
It’s 1:30 a.m., my wife is out of town, and this is how I feel.
“Still Awake”
The dog is asleep under his blanket
The crickets are playing their third song
The rhythmic ticking from the cheap kitchen clock
Keeps time as I muddle along
With my typing, spacing, deleting
Of words that seem right, then wrong
It’s late, but I’m doing my best to take stock
Of the reasons I’ve been awake so long.
It’s not so hard when I leave her at home
I guess I tend to focus on the task when I’m gone
But when she leaves I feel disconnected
There are things to do, but I feel misdirected
I need her more than she needs me
I don’t want to go to bed, it’s hard to sleep
The hotel bed is not her spot
The bed at home is where she’s not
I don’t want to roll over and…well… fear
I just like it better when she’s here.
Filed under General Observations, Relationships and Family
20 Years! Take That, Devil!
We Were Young
It was a beautiful day in 1994 when my beautiful bride agreed to subject herself to a life with me. Had she known what she was getting into, she might have backed out. Of course, she would be the first to disagree with that assessment.
We were young, even though we were in our mid-twenties. It’s hard to say, however, if we had any idea how things would be once we reached our 40’s. I must say, though, that it’s funny to think back at how we thought we were starting marriage a little late. We were so young, full of energy, potential, and hope.
My wife just said, “I really thought we were old.”
The Odds Were Stacked
Most people are aware of the odds against people staying married for any real length of time. But what most people are not aware of are how dramatically the odds turn against long-term marriages when just a few factors are thrown in.
A marriage made up of two people from perfect backgrounds, with no emotional baggage, will inevitably have its struggles. But when you take two people who bring into a marriage enough emotional and spiritual baggage to fill a cattle car, well, the odds of staying married are not great. Thankfully, we serve a God who doesn’t care about the odds (Prov. 16:33).
We Started Right
I can’t tell you how many marriage proposals I have seen on YouTube! Some were so elaborate…I mean, how’s a guy to compete with a million-dollar musical?!!
Let me tell you how I did it – I took her to the altar. No, I’m not talking about going to the altar to get married; I asked her to marry me at the altar.
You see, the first time I quasi-proposed (I never really asked her to marry me) was when we both picked out her first ring – yes, her first ring. Then, later that evening, like an idiot, I took it back because “I wasn’t sure about things.”
The second time was a little different. After being told not to come back unless I brought a bigger ring, I bought a full-carat solitaire and went to church.
During a communion service, one in which it was our custom to go to the altar and pray before we partook of the elements, I asked Valerie to go with me. Once we knelt, with both of us holding hands, I officially proposed in front of God and everybody. I wanted our marriage to be something built on a holy foundation, so after she said “yes,” our first meal together was the Lord’s Supper.
Still At It
When I say we are “still at it,” you can take that any way you like. The fact is that we still struggle, still have arguments, and still act like people who never learn. But on the other hand, we still pray, still play, still love, and still worship together, and we’re still married.
20 years, and counting!
There’s nothing wrong with people who never struggle, somehow always on perpetual honeymoon. However, any marriage worth working for, worth fighting for, will leave a few scratches on your wedding band.
My advise to others? Just keep at it.
“This is my beloved, and this is my friend” (Song of Solomon 5:16).
Happy anniversary, Valerie! I love you!
Ten Ways to Fail As a Father
Happy Father’s Day!
Lord willing, my sermon for Father’s Day will be from the book of Joshua…
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. – Joshua 24:15 KJV
There is a portrait of my family hanging in our living room with the above verse written below it. There is a lot to be said about a father who will say those words. There’s a lot to be said about a father who won’t.
Tuff Stuff
I don’t want to spend a lot of time writing a lengthy post, but I do want to leave you with a list I found in a sermon by a Wesleyan pastor, Bruce Howell. I don’t know if he came up with it or if he found it somewhere else. All I know is that it is convicting.
There will be a lot of people talking about how to be a better dad, but if you want to know how to fail, here are 10 sure-fire ways to screw up.
Ten Ways to Fail As a Father
1. Have fights in front of your children. Then when guests come, turn around and act affectionate toward one another.
2. Stifle your children’squestions by saying, “Don’t bother me now; I’m busy.”
3. Take no interest in your children’s friends. Let them run around with whomever they choose.
4. Never discipline your children; try to use psychology instead.
5. Nag them about their schoolwork; never compliment them on their achievements.
6. Demonstrate your love for them with material things. Give them everything their little hearts desire.
7. Never discuss the facts of life with them. Instead, let them learn about sex from their friends, public school, or pornographic literature.
8. Set a bad example so the children will not want to grow up to be like you.
9. Absolutely refuse to believe it if you are told that your children have done something wrong.
10. Let your children make their own choices in the matter of religion. Be careful not to influence them in any way.
Help us, Father God, to be more like you.
In My Father’s Honor
A Strange Day
Today is a strange day. I am alive.
Now, being alive shouldn’t be that big of a deal for most people, but it is to me, especially on THIS day. Today is the anniversary of my father’s death.
Anniversaries of deaths are not uncommon, either. But what makes today unique is that I am the same age that my dad was when he died. He was 46 – I am 46!
I woke up this morning and saw the sun, which is something my daddy never experienced on June 11, 1991 (well, I’m writing this ahead of time, so I hope I will). He woke up and saw the Son, which is something I still long to do.
Tough, Yet Humble
My dad.
Those who knew my dad before he became a Christian would testify to the fact that he was no wimp. He knew how to fight, fish, and fire a weapon. Between him and my uncle Don (his brother), there weren’t too many men willing to go toe-to-toe with them.
Yet, once he accepted Christ, he became the perfect example of gentleness, kindness, grace, and compassion. I know of no one any more humble than he was. (Oh, and when his brother finally became a believer in Jesus, the same transformation took place)
Preachers
My dad was a preacher. He might not have been the most eloquent, but he loved the Word and loved telling people about Jesus. Had he been alive today, he would have wept at the state of our nation and where we are going. Above all, he would still be preaching, even harder.
Still Fighting the Good Fight
I am proud to say that I am carrying on my father’s legacy. I am proud to say that should the Lord allow me to live much longer than my dad, I will continue to preach the Gospel and stand for Truth. As a matter of fact, here is something I recently posted on Facebook.
Backbone, preachers…now’s the time for some honest-to-goodness, strong-as-steel, George S. Patton and John Wayne-like BACKBONE!
I don’t care if you’re Baptist, Presbyterian, Pentecostal, Nazarene, Methodist, or whatever…MAN UP!! Stand in the gap! Quit being a politically motivated, crowd-pleasing, purse string-tying wimp and PREACH THE WORD!
Check out what’s going on in the world and what’s coming to America. Do you think things are all going to turn out like a big Hillsong praise service if you keep preaching like Joel Osteen?! Folks, what we need now more than ever are some Elijahs, some John the Baptists, some old-school Billy Grahams, some D. L. Moodys, etc. We need more men of God who know the difference between the Word of God and a motivational speech!
Don’t try to be popular. Don’t try to be “cool” and “hip” with the younger generations. Quit fighting over the styles of worship if your congregation doesn’t even know HOW to worship! Forget trying to become more “seeker-friendly,” and just SEEK THE LOST! The world is going to Hell and we are greasing the skids.
Be real. Be humble. Be yourself. Love your enemies. But for the love of God, pastors and preachers, “Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13). In other words, take off the liberal mom jeans and put on some prophet-worthy overalls and get to work.
His Voice
I wish all of you could have met my dad, Terry L. Baker. Like my wife noted when she heard a recording, he was about “as country as they come.” Fortunately for all of us, I still have a few recordings of his preaching.
Below is an edited version of a message my dad preached back in 1981. At that time he was doing a radio program on WMOC for a local children’s ministry.
Fittingly, the sermon from my dad, based on Deuteronomy 6:4-7, concerns how to raise a godly family. Tell me if you think he sounds a little like me 😉
All honor and glory be to my Father in Heaven, the One who graciously gifted me with an earthly father who loved Jesus and taught me how to do the same.
Dealing With Temptation (the movie)
I had a whole post all written up, but then I erased it. Ever done that before? Sometimes it’s better to start over from scratch if what was written in the first place was forced.
So, here’s the deal: I can’t justify spending 20 dollars on a WordPress upgrade right now, so I can’t upload any audio directly to my blog. Yeah, it’s only $20, but since school let out for the summer, and since I don’t get paid when I’m not driving a bus, $20 is better spent on the electric bill.
Two Sundays ago I preached a sermon from 1 Corinthians 10:13 entitled, “How to Deal With Temptation.”
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. – 1 Corinthians 10:13
Since I could not upload the audio, I did something different – I made a video and posted it to YouTube. No charge to link a YouTube video 😉
So, if you’d like some suggestions on how to deal with temptation (I hope you know what that is), then watch and listen. Sure, the video is not the greatest, but I tried (and misquoted the Bible, no less).
Filed under blogging, Christian Living, Preaching
The Recovering Legalist 