Tag Archives: questions

Postmortem Opinions of Those Who Unalive Themselves

This is going to sound wrong, but suicide is a fact of life. It’s not something that has to happen, but it does.

Odds are that each one of us knows a friend or relative who, by their own decision, exited life prematurely. I have known a couple.

But I want to know something. I want to know your thoughts. I want to know, if you knew someone, what you thought of that person after the thing was done.

One of the most common thoughts about those who commits suicide is that they were “cowards.” In other words, instead of facing their problems, they “took the easy way out.”

Was the person you knew a coward?

To be honest, for one thing, I think it takes a great amount of courage to put one’s theology to the ultimate test and risk eternal damnation. Then there’s the question of what method to use. Whatever the choice, does a coward take that fatal jump or pull the trigger without being forced?

What do you think of that person’s character? Obviously, taking one’s own life is not a good thing to do. So, do you now think of that person as bad or morally deficient? What about selfish? Prideful?

Did the person you knew abandon you or someone else?

What emotional attachment did you have? Did you love that person, or were you just an acquaintance? And what do you feel now, hate? Bitterness? Resentment?

Finally, did your opinion of the deceased change after their death? Did you at one point hold them in high regard? Did you lose all respect, or do you still recognize what had been their redeeming qualities?

If it is not too difficult, try to leave a comment below. Your input would be helpful.

Thank you.

3 Comments

Filed under Depression, Life/Death, Struggles and Trials

At Least VWs are Getting Built!

As I begin to write this, I am looking up to where it says, “Add title.” But I’m not sure what it should be. I am going to have to wait till I write a little more, I guess.

Two things have brought me back to the old keyboard: my new friend’s question and my questioning of what’s next.

My New Friend’s Question

If you read my last post, you’ll know who I’m talking about. There’s a sharp young man where I work with whom I’ve had some conversations. It was he who, while standing beside me in the “micro market,” asked, “Are you OK?”

Now, it doesn’t happen very often, as you probably well know – someone actually asking if you’re OK. I mean, it’s totally common to have people casually ask how you’re doing and not really expect an honest answer. And they shouldn’t expect it, either.

You and I do the same thing, don’t we? In passing, like an amplified “hello,” we ask, “How’re you?” without really wanting to receive a detailed response. All we expect is an obligatory, “I’m fine, how are you?” To which we always intend to say, “Fine.”

But this morning was a little different. My new friend asked if I was OK. He actually wanted to know! How strange! In a place with 5,000 people on any given day just trying to make it through their shift, here you have a guy who actually cared! So how did I respond?

Well, I don’t remember my exact words (his were more memorable), but I said something like, “I’m not that great.”

That’s when he told me he had noticed my lack of on-line activity (writing here, that is). So, here I am.

Questioning What’s Next

That brings me to the second of the two reasons I am writing this: I don’t know what’s next!

Here’s the thing, folks… I’m worn out. I’m tired. Primarily physically, but also emotionally. Everything from my new job (the main reason) to uncontrollable events, all have drained me so much that I have nothing to squeeze out. It’s literally taking reserve energy to type this.

If you want to know how bad things are, consider this: I am probably (90% sure) going to back away from the whole watch thing. Why? Well, for several reasons:

  • I’m too tired to make videos. It would help to have a dedicated, undisturbed studio, but I don’t, and everything has to be set up fresh each time I record. Then comes all the editing.
  • It takes time and money, neither of which I have much extra.
  • Even though I enjoy new watches, my last new one sucked the wind out of my sails when it exposed that I really didn’t want what I thought I wanted as the ultimate watch.
  • The economic suffering my friends in Pakistan are enduring made thinking of a luxury watch feel sickening.

So, if not watches, what? Back to painting? I wish – and hope! But again, with no dedicated place to set things up and leave them, it takes too much energy out of me to even get started.

And then there’s that whole “energy” thing. Did I mention that I worn out, tired, exhausted?

I don’t even want to study, which is the most tragic thing of all. Even though I have the opportunity to schedule speaking engagements, the thought of picking up a phone tires me, not to mention the mental fatigue that accompanies preparation.

Lastly, because this is already too long, I’m spiritually drained and feel like I can’t refill. My faith is under attack from several fronts and the battles are taking their toll. I’m not losing my faith, per say, but I do find myself wondering if I’m fighting the right battles.

If I could get more sleep, I would. But that’s a subject of its own.

But I’ll tell you this, at least some dadgum Volkswagen Atlas SUVs are getting built!

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Filed under Uncategorized

Would Someone Help Me Understand?

Lately something has been on my mind. It’s not something that’s openly in the news or often talked about, yet it’s everywhere you look, if you’re looking.

Please don’t get offended or triggered by what I’m about to ask, just help me with it. Call me ignorant, if you’d like, but ignorance is only a lack of information or understanding, and there is nothing wrong with that – unless it’s willful.

Here’s the question:

Why is transitioning to look like the stereotypical appearance of the gender to which you’re transitioning not an affirmation of the very stereotypes with which you disagree?

    You see, I’ve been around long enough to remember life before yesterday, even before Obama. In a not-too-distant past Barbie was condemned for her looks because she seemed to exhibit what culture deemed “feminine.”

    I can remember when the supposed male-dominated culture’s idea of female looks included long hair, makeup, dresses, high heels, extended lashes, bras, silk stockings, and a certain sway of the hips when walking. If all done right and in the correct proportions, a man could look at that package and say, “Man! What a woman!”

    Oh, but then came the biker chicks, the tomboys, and all the “butch” females who railed against the stereotype. Looking “female” was about being whatever you felt and not limited to what culture expected. Girls didn’t have to wear dresses and makeup; they could have short hair, wear wife-beater shirts, and still prefer the opposite sex.

    Yet, what do we see today? Biological males who claim to female that can only be satisfied if they change their appearance into the epitome of the stereotype to which actual women of the past rebelled!

    Why can’t a man who wants to be a woman still be a woman yet look like a man? Why can’t a woman who wants to be a man retain her feminine appearance while assuming all the roles of the male of the species? Why does transitioning necessitate the changing of appearance when appearance is only supposed to be skin deep?

    Seriously, help me understand, because I really don’t get it.

    3 Comments

    Filed under Culture Wars, General Observations, self-worth

    What Does a Woman Look Like?

    I have a strong feeling that this post is going to infuriate some people. It may even get me in trouble with somebody somewhere. However, I am going to mix metaphors, jump right in, and open a can of worms.

    What does a woman look like?

    By now you are probably familiar with the Matt Walsh documentary What is a Woman? If you haven’t seen it, you need to, because it seems to have made possible conversations many have been too afraid to have until now. And when you consider that just recently Bill Maher (on HBO) questioned the trans-gender community’s growing numbers, particularly with children, I think it’s time for me to point a few things out, too.

    Let’s face it, the most influential and powerful women today are not biological women; they’re men who identify as women. Men who identify as women are stealing all the spotlight from the females who once fought for equality. They’re even showing that if you want to be the best woman you can be, you should be a man. You know, like Lia Thomas.

    Lia Thomas (image credit: Yahoo News)

    But thinking about Lia Thomas, why is it that Lia Thomas looks like a woman? I mean, why is it that Lia Thomas has long hair? Why does Lia wear makeup? Is it because “she” wants to look into the mirror and see someone besides his self?

    Why is it that men who transition into women (which they’re really not; they just look like them), they generally go with the feminine look that is so stereotypical of natural femininity? Why not stay looking like the guy they are, just without the penis? Are appearances that important when what is really supposed to matter is what’s inside?

    It just seems a little strange to me, that’s all. For so long there was a certain look that women were expected to have. Women wore dresses, had long hair, did their nails, and always had on some kind of makeup. They were expected to have higher, softer voices, hourglass figures, and shapely legs perched on high heels. But these stereotypes are the very ones biological women fought against. Who said women had to look a certain way? They could wear the pants in the family, too!

    Have you ever heard of a Barbie Doll? Of course, you have. Go ahead, google “Barbie too feminine” and what you will find are articles going back nearly a decade that blast Barbie’s stereotypical looks.

    Barbie reinforces the concept of heterosexuality because Barbie is very feminine. She has plump lips, well proportioned breasts and large hips. Moreover, she is often wearing skirts or dresses, high heels, earrings and make up. She defines how somehow (sp?) who is female should look and dress.

    Anastasia Demakos, “Religion and Popular Culture” (Nov. 9, 2014)

    So, then, why the long hair, Lia? Why does any trans female feel the need to LOOK female? And the same thing can be asked about women transitioning into physical copies of men.

    But let’s not stop with transgender, let’s take this even further down the rabbit hole and ask why it is that, again, generally speaking, homosexual and lesbian couples so often mimic the heterosexual image? In other words, why are there often male and female counterparts?

    Dare I say Ellen and Portia?

    Could it simply be that the way God designed us is innate, not fluid or socially constructed, therefore no matter how much we want to dismiss the Creator, His design still bleeds through? It’s like His will for humanity’s relationships is a holy nicotine stain that no amount of paint can hide for long.

    What does a woman look like? I guess that’s a difficult question if you can’t even define what a woman is. But are “tomboys” not women enough? Are they actually men in women’s bodies? Should biological women with facial hair, deeper voices, and a love for Stanley tools exchange their baby-bearing club cards for urinals and prostate exams?

    Because, after all, REAL women get breast implants and lip plumping.

    2 Comments

    Filed under Culture Wars, current events

    Tough Questions That Should Make Every Christian Think

    Daily Live Stream

    Every day at 2 p.m. I do a live devotional and prayer time on Facebook. This is in addition to Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday night.

    All total, I am either live or showing recorded content eight times a week. That’s way, way more than what I was doing before this pandemic forced everything online! But it’s all good.

    His grace is sufficient for the challenge.

    This Week’s Theme

    The theme for this week’s videos was found in Exodus 23, verses 29 and 30. In those verses God says that He would not drive out Israel’s enemies all at once, only little by little.

    God was capable of wiping out all of Israel’s enemies. He was more than strong enough. However, doing things as a matter of process was better for the land and God’s people (verse 29).

    God could have given the children of Israel everything at once, but his desire for them (and us) was to mature through adversity. Even more, He wants us to become more and more sanctified (set apart for His glory and use) through the purging away of worldly idolatries that trap and destroy us.

    Today’s Tough Questions

    Lists to Live By: The Christian Collection: For Everything That Really MattersTherefore, This afternoon I pulled a book off one of my shelves and flipped through it until I found what fit the theme of this week’s devotions. In the book Lists to Live By: The Christian Collection For Everything That Really Matters I found on page 48 and 49 “20 Tough Questions.”

    This afternoon I shared the first 10 with those watching live on Facebook.

    1. What specifically are you gong to work on in the next week to become closer to God?
    2. What do you feel is a little thing stopping you from getting closer to God?
    3. What is one thing you need to confess this week?
    4. When did you conquer sin this week?
    5. In what areas of your life do you find it easiest to compromise your standards?
    6. Does you faith point others to Jesus?
    7. What are you going to give Jesus in the next week?
    8. Can you give a recent example of a time you had to depend on God?
    9. Where do you know you need humility in your life?
    10. What would improve your prayer life?

    As you can see, these are not easy questions for most people to answer. They weren’t completely easy for me, if you want to know the honest truth.

    But the fact is, if we are not struggling, and certainly if we are not growing and maturing in our Christian walk and faith in God, then we cannot expect to claim the blessings awaiting in the yet-to-be-conquered “promised land.”

    I’ll share the remaining “tough questions” in the next post.

    3 Comments

    Filed under Bethlehem Baptist Church, Christian Maturity

    You Believe WHAT About God? Tuesday Thoughts 21 January 2020

    Just the other day I shared a post from Pastor Randy which generated a lot of response, some not so positive. Well, I guess I’m a sucker for punishment because I’m going to do it again.

    I don’t want to give any spoilers, but I, too, have heard some seriously stupid answers to the question of “why?” when it comes to the death of children (I worked in a funeral home for several years). The “angel” and “He needed them” reasons were also sickening to me. Yet, some of my Calvinist friends have also attempted to give some pretty sad excuses (ask John Piper), but that’s another argument for another day.

    Anyway, “be still and know that I am God” is in vinyl lettering (from Hobby Lobby) above the mantle in our dining room.

    Pastor Randy's avatarKingdom Pastor

    I thought this Tuesday Thoughts edition was going to take a while to figure out what to write. I was wrong. It comes out of something that happened last week: 4 year old Wyatt Spann died from cancer. And this reminded me of something that happened a few years ago–the death of another young child, Noah Crowe, from cancer. It’s not “MY” feelings about these tragedies, but the things “some” people say. To be more specific: What some who call themselves ‘Christians’ say to broken and grieving hearts. It’s not only at funeral homes where they speak these abominations, but being active in disaster response, I’ve heard some of the same poor, DEPLORABLE theology.

    Below are some of the DESPICABLE, VILE, LOATHSOME AND WRETCHED things some people believe, and Dear Lord In Heaven, say to people in the worst moment of their lives:

    • God needed them more than you. Really?…

    View original post 381 more words

    8 Comments

    Filed under God, Life/Death, Struggles and Trials, Theology

    Observations from a Middle-Georgia Pastorate: Doing a Q&A

    Inside Bethlehem Baptist Church (built on the congregation’s Centennial in 1890)

    This past Sunday evening I did something I never thought I’d do: I did a question and answer service (Q&A) with my congregation at Bethlehem Baptist.

    Look, I’m no Ravi Zacharias, so going into an hour’s worth of questions without any idea what was going to be asked was a little nerve wracking. Granted, I had prepared a cheat sheet with some verses that would apply to some of the more common questions I figured they might ask, but they could have asked anything, and I could have looked really ignorant.

    Fortunately (at least for me) only four questions were addressed in the entire hour! Actually, four were asked, but only three got answered. The fourth one required me going home and getting on the computer, then following up with a phone call to the lady who asked the question.

    So what were the four questions? I’m glad you asked!

    I will paraphrase them for you:

    1. Based on Luke 23:43 and 1 Thessalonians 4:17, why did Jesus say that the thief on the cross would be with Him in paradise the same day, yet we read of the “dead in Christ” rising? Did Jesus make a special exception for the thief on the cross, or was there something else at play? Do we immediately go to heaven when we die, or something else?
    2. Is it wrong or a sin for a Christian to get tattoos?
    3. What should the Church’s response be to the issue of suicide?
    4. What is a “busybody” and where to we find it – if that word exists – in the Bible?

    Now, if you would like to hear my answers to these questions, well, I didn’t record the service. And if you would like for me to tell you right here and now what my answers were, you’re out of luck…I don’t want to write that much right now! All I will say is that what started out as a Q&A turned into a sweet time of fellowship and sharing.

    But here’s the thing…people have questions and they deserve answers.

    Zig Ziglar used to say that people will never care how much you know until they know how much you care. Sure, I could have been blindsided by a question for which I did not have a good answer, but I cared enough to put myself in that position for their sake. If they don’t know I care, it doesn’t matter how much I know.

    But what if I didn’t know the answer? Was I afraid of that? Honestly, I told my congregation up front that I might not have a good answer for some of their questions, but if that happened I promised I would do my best to find an answer and get back with them.

    Funny thing, the only question that stumped me was the one about where to find “busybody” in the Bible! That, for the record, is found in 2 Thessalonians 3:11; 1 Timothy 5:13; and 1 Peter 4:15.

    What did I learn from this adventure? First, I knew more than I thought I did. Second, cheat sheets help. And third, the people loved it so much they want to do it again!

    So, we will!

    Next time they’ll probably ask about Cain’s wife and predestination 🙂

    5 Comments

    Filed under Apologetics, baptist, Bible Study, Christianity, Church, ministry

    Don’t Call Me a Hallomeany

    The following was originally published in October of 2012 – when I still drove a school bus.

    Not a Hallomeany

    I am not a big Halloween guy. I don’t get in to the dressing up, and all that. For that matter, I don’t celebrate the holiday.

    However, I am not a total Hallomeany. I am not the Halloween version of Scrooge. For example, when a little girl asked what I thought of her costume, I didn’t say, “You look more like a prostitot than a princess.” I said, “You look very nice!”

    When the little boys come around dressed like monsters, I always shiver like I am scared. When they dress like superheroes, I ask if they can fly. And when they look like a cat, dog, or freakazoid satanic mutt from the pits of hell, I say, “Wow! Do you have fleas, too?”

    Wiggin’ Out

    So, even though I don’t celebrate Halloween, I try to keep the kids on the bus from thinking I am a “legalist” about it. What do I do? I wear a wig.

    This time I wore an Afro (a.k.a, Bob Ross w/attitude).

    One little girl told me she was Little Red Riding Hood. I told her I was Big Black Afro Hood.

    But the funny thing about all of this is the reaction of the elementary kids. It really made me wonder what bus they have been riding the last three months.

    The Kids: (at least 1,000 times) “Mr. Baker, is that your real hair?”

    Me: “Yes. It is. I was bald yesterday, but I put fertilizer on my head and my hair grew overnight.”

    The Kids: “No it’s not…I bet it is a wig…that’s not your hair…let me touch it…I bet it’s a wig.”

    Me:  “Of course it’s my real hair.”

    The Kids:  “Is that really your real hair? You’re wearing a wig…I just know it.”

    Me: (I got upset with some children who wouldn’t stay in their seats, so I got serious and took off the wig.)

    A Little Girl (that has ridden the bus for 3 months): “Aaaahhhh (gasping, then giggling as she whispers to another child), Mr. Baker’s BALD!

    Me:  “You THINK?! Where have you been? Did you not see me yesterday? Are you blind?”

    You’ve Known Me How Long?

    After telling the above story a few times, it seemed God wanted to tell me something.

    I kept thinking of a conversation Jesus has with Phillip in John 14:8-9. Phillip asked, “Show us the Father.” That’s when Jesus replied in the same way I did to the little girl, “Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me?”

    That got me to wondering. How long have I known Jesus? And how many times do I act like I haven’t even been paying attention to His presence? How many times have I been surprised by an answered prayer? How many times have I doubted, only to find Him faithful?

    “You’ve known Me how long?” Long enough to know better.

    6 Comments

    Filed under Christian Maturity, God, Humor, Life Lessons

    The Better Question

    When looking for answers to our problems, many times we ask the question, “What would Jesus do?”

    A better question might be, “What did Jesus do?”

    “But we preach Christ crucified…” – 1 Corinthians 1:23

    15 Comments

    Filed under Christianity, current events, Theology

    Apple Pie and Amazing Grace: Doing Better than I Deserve

    The Question

    It came from Africa.

    No, it wasn’t an animal trying to eat me, or a disease for which no one has a cure (which is more scary). It was a question, one asked by a Facebook friend in Uganda.

    Pastor Ndahayo Shine asked: “How are you?”

    imageHow am I? How does an American answer that question? I mean, seriously? What do I have to complain about?

    Honestly, at the very moment Pastor Shine’s question popped up on Facebook Messenger I was eating a warmed-up piece of apple pie (as American as it gets).

    Pie, I tell you!

    I’m eating pie, and I get a question regarding how I’m doing from a man in Uganda. Africa! The place where famines kill more people than the NRA is blamed for!

    So, I replied with the following answer:

    “I am alive, not hungry, and not hurting. I have a roof over my head, a car in the driveway, and children who love me. My wife is faithful, the police are not after me, and the dog hasn’t chewed anything important in a long, long time. I guess you could say I’m doing better than I deserve.”

    Am I Blessed?

    So many times we answer questions like “How are you doing?” with things like, “I’m fine,” or “I’m blessed.” However, to be honest – which I try to be most of the time – I’d rather admit to being “fine” than “blessed.”

    Why is that? 

    Saying that I’m blessed has a sneaky way of implying that those in other places – like Africa – are NOT blessed, at least not as much as me. I mean, what does it say about Christianity and the character of God when those who are “abundantly blessed” are the ones who rarely feel the need to trust God for their next meal? What I own or what’s parked in my driveway is not a mark of spirituality, nor should it insinuate I’ve lived a life more worthy of blessing than my brothers and sisters living in poverty.

    If I am blessed at all, it’s not because of anything I’ve done or deserve; I am simply the recipient of God’s grace. I have been allowed, according to God’s sovereignty, to live in a country where leftover pie in a functioning refrigerator is commonplace.

    Jesus made it pretty clear who the “blessed” really are. They are the poor in spirit, the meek, the merciful, the pure in heart, and the peacemakers (Matthew 5:3-9). And if that’s not enough, “…Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord…” (Revelation 14:13).

    What I Don’t Deserve

    While saying “fine,” I’d bet the temptation to answer the question “How are you doing?” with complaints is almost overwhelming for most. Oh, admit it – you say you’re “fine” because you don’t think the person asking is really that interested in hearing your list of ailments, worries, and irritations.

    You probably answer with “fine” because you don’t want to sound like a cry baby or a hypochondriac, right? Because, admit it, you feel you deserve better than what you have; you don’t really feel “blessed,” do you?

    Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t deserve anything but hell. Yet, for some reason God has allowed me to be the recipient of many good things which I don’t deserve, even if I have worked for a lot of it.

    I don’t deserve a faithful wife, loving children, and a devoted dog. I don’t deserve to be a pastor, have a regular income, or be respected in my community.

    I don’t deserve electric appliances that make life easier or the home in which I live. I certainly don’t deserve the freedom to come and go as I please without having to rely on public transportation or worry about being stopped by thugs demanding to search my car.

    How am I doing? What can I say? I just ate pie…because it was there…and I wasn’t even hungry! If I’m blessed, it’s abundantly above and beyond what I need.

    God is good, but His grace is Amazing! 

     

    7 Comments

    Filed under America, Christian Living, Life Lessons, Thanksgiving