by | October 28, 2015 · 1:34 pm

Trying to Understand the Undead 2.0

Halloween

I hate Halloween. But if you are a big fan, one who looks forward to the glorification of death, evil, and the grotesque, then ghoul for you. My minimal desire for bags of candy and apples bobbed for in spit-filled water is not enough to make me dress up like a satanic mass murderer, which is what most costumes seem to portray.

Actually, this time of year gets on my nerves, and one of the biggest reasons is the proliferation of horror movies. Horror movies don’t scare me that much; they tick me off! They are always full of idiots walking into the dark asking, “Buffy, is that you?” And what’s worse, so many of today’s horror flicks involve ghostly, demonic hauntings by creepy dead kids. HINT: if a soaking-wet dead girl crawls out of a well and starts climbing through your TV, change the channel (preferably to a Christian station).

On a side note, has it ever occurred to anyone that all the demonic activity pictured in horror movies is nothing more than an attempt to convince us that the spiritual realm is real?

Really, I hate Halloween. I find no pleasure celebrating the very Enemy taking my friends and loved ones to hell.

The Undead

But what I really don’t get is the “undead”…zombies…Michael Jackson’s dance partners. Can somebody help me understand the logic behind the capabilities and actions of walking corpses?

English: A participant of a Zombie walk, Asbur...

English: A participant of a Zombie walk, Asbury Park NJ, USA. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There has been so much talk about zombies, lately. There have been a lot of movies and television programs devoted to grossing us out with their nastiness and appetite for human flesh. What’s the deal? Is it just an attempt to shift our attention away from the spiritual to the natural or animalistic? Who knows?

All I know is that the walking dead make no sense. Consider the following:

  1. Health. Why is it that when I have the flu I feel as good as dead, yet when a zombie is dead he feels more alive than me? If I break a bone I can’t function, but a zombie can have all his bones broken and break into an armored car! Have you seen what people die from? Why is it they have more energy once they’ve rotted away than when they were still exfoliating?
  2. Appetite. Why is it that the walking dead never seem to recognize that their fellow walkers are also human, and edible? And why are humans the only meat worth eating? Why don’t the walking dead break into grocery stores, butcher shops, and kennels? Seriously, don’t the dead understand that there is far more meat and brains in a cow?! Why eat the farmer???
  3. Blood. I’ve had too much experience in funeral homes to buy the idea that zombies coming out of graves have bright, red, flowing blood. How many walking dead have you seen dripping embalming fluid? Hmmm?
  4. Speed. Why can’t healthy people, including clumsy women in high heels, outrun people with muscles falling off the bone? Bones don’t work alone to cause movement; limbs need muscles to function. Even if one tripped over every blade of grass in an attempt to flee a rotting granny, how fast could granny be?
  5. Practicalities. If old people become zombies, do they have to keep their false teeth in order to chew their neighbor? Also, what is the life expectancy of something that is already dead? Oh, and when a zombie eats a human, where does the meat go? Do zombies poop?

The Real Undead

To be very honest, I am more afraid of my own stinking flesh than some dancer from Thriller.

“O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” (Romans 7:24)

I must crucify it on a daily basis and live in the life of Jesus Christ (Romans 13:14). For if I live in the power of my own zombie-like self, I will die: but if through the Spirit I put to death the deeds of this stinking body, I shall live (Romans 8:13).

 

That “2.0″ Part

What you just read was originally written in 2013, so it might interest you to learn what has happened since then. The girl from “The Ring” might be living in my house!

Actually, this year we decided to host a foreign exchange student from South Korea. She is a totally adorable teenager with a great sense of humor, and we love her bunches. However, I don’t think she’s ever seen “The Ring,” nor is she familiar with the black-haired, demonic ghost-girl that disjointedly crawls out of a well and through the television screen to kill people.

Credit: "The Ring"

Credit: “The Ring”

If she had seen the movie, and if she really didn’t want to creep me out, then maybe she would stop coming out of the shower at night, on the way to her room, with her long black hair covering her entire face.

Maybe…just maybe…when getting on my school bus in the morning, when it is dark, and sitting in a seat behind me, like she did this morning, she could uncover her sleepy face and have a smile on it when I look into the mirror!

I’ll just keep telling myself she’s never seen the movie. She hates scary movies.

Or does she?

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by | October 24, 2015 · 10:36 am

2,500 Followers and Bacon

Saturday List

Before I write anything else, I must warn you that my wife has a long list of things for me to complete, such as clean the windows, scrub the floor, clean of my computer desk, and make sure there’s nothing left on the china cabinet but dishes that we never use.

I just wanted to tell you about the list that awaits me because I am typing as fast as I can, all in the attempt to get this post written before my wife finishes breakfast and begins staring daggers through me.

Bad Bacon

Bacon. Yes, bacon.

Bacon. Yes, bacon.

Here’s a totally random question. Bacon…if it’s past the expiration date and slightly turned in color, but doesn’t smell bad, does frying it, thereby causing it to sit in sizzling grease, kill any bacteria or germs? In other words, can carbonized bacon make you sick?

Well, I just ate some. We will see.

Followers

Now, to the point of the day: 2,500 followers.

Do I really have 2,500 followers? Technically, no I do not, for as of this writing I am 20 followers shy of the mark. But the real question I have is how many of those followers are actual followers? How many of those nearly 2,500 people actually come behind me, watch my steps, and then walk in the path I am blazing? One? Three?

If the truth be known, many of those called “followers” are not really followers of me, or my blog. Many have only subscribed in order to get me to follow their blogs. Many have subscribed in haste after reading only one interesting post, then never come back. Others follow my blog and what I write in order to find fault, gather evidence, or get a laugh.

So, as I digest my bacon, what is the point I am frantically trying to make before my blogging time for the day is up? I don’t know, really. However, here are a few thoughts…

  • I am glad there are not 2,500 people looking over my shoulder
  • It would be nice if I could manage 2,500 views a day
  • If I really had 2,500 followers, more would question why I take certain paths
  • There is no way on earth I can write something without offending hundreds – if they actually read what I write
  • I want to be a better follower of Christ than I am a “follower” of someone’s blog

No Cross Required

If you want to know what it means to be a REAL follower – a disciple – then be a follower of Jesus Christ. But if you want to follow Jesus, please note that He requires more than a click and an email address.

“…If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” – Matthew 16:24

I am not asking you to give your life to me; no cross is required to follow The Recovering Legalist. But if you do follow my blog, I certainly hope you pick up on Whom I am following, and choose to do the same.

If you’d like to learn more about following Jesus, why not click HERE? 

Time to get on that to-do list my wife has for me. The bacon hasn’t killed me… yet.

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by | October 22, 2015 · 11:10 am

Chihuahuas Attacked Me!

I Was Late

“Why are you so late?” was the question out of the first child’s mouth. That’s not true; I just felt her think that as she stepped onto the bus.

Yes, I was about ten minutes late picking up the kids this morning. Some nearly died from the additional exposure to the 49-degree weather (I know this because they got on the bus saying that they were about to die waiting on me in the cold). However, it didn’t help them too much to get on the bus, for since I was running late I didn’t have time to warm it up – or put up the windows that were put down by the elementary kids the day before.

Anyway, why was I late? I overslept…simple as that. But telling that to the first child I picked up proved to be rather boring and nothing to write about. Therefore, since my adrenaline was already pumping and my mind was functioning at regular speed (unusual for 6:40 in the morning), I decided to make the reason for my tardiness (I hate that word) more memorable.

The “Real” Reason

“You are NOT going to believe what happened to me this morning!” I exclaimed to the next kids that got on my bus. “I am running late because of a herd of chihuahuas.”

You see, what happened was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen! This morning I walked out of the house and started across the parking lot to my bus, but then all of a sudden I heard the humming sound. I first I didn’t know what to make of it, and then it got louder…then I heard growling…then a chorus of tiny, yappy barks.

My rendition of this morning's horror.

My rendition of this morning’s horror.

Totally taken aback, I look forward and peer into the early morning shadows to see the ground moving around my school bus! As I fearfully inched closer, it became clear that a dadgum herd of chihuahuas was surrounding my school bus! What the taco was going on???

At least a hundred pocket-sized terrors began barking at me, growling, snarling. When I took a few more steps toward the bus, knowing I had children to go pick up, the biting burritos from some south-of-the-border Hades started biting at my shoes – which are the expensive gray kind old men like me buy from New Balance – and that ticked me off!

At first I tried shooing them away, but they couldn’t understand me. Besides that, there was something about the bus they liked, and they wouldn’t leave for love nor pesos. That’s when I walked back to my house, went into the garage, and retrieved my personal putter normally reserved for Gooney Golf games in which I mercilessly defeat every opponent during youth outings with our church.

Knowing there were freezing  children out there waiting on the side of the road…freezing children, fearful that their bus driver had abandoned them…I had to act with speed and ferocity. With a whack here and there, followed by the Hispanic-like squeals from demonic chihuahuas,  I was finally able to clear the way to my bus.

Fifteen minutes later, in a cold bus, I was doing what God has called me to do – save the lives of freezing children and transport them to a place where they can be educated.

You Decide

Now, you can decide for yourself it the above story is a good one and believable. Unfortunately, many people are more willing to believe an exciting story than the boring truth. And beyond that, the more one tells a lie the more likely the listener (or reader) will believe it, especially if the lie is told with passion.

With that being said, Hillary Clinton is being questioned by a congressional committee. I want to hear what she has to say about the chihuahuas in Benghazi.

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by | October 21, 2015 · 10:22 am

Check Out the New Archive!

In case you haven’t noticed, there is a new tab featured at the top. It is an archive of sermons that I have preached both at church and on the radio. They will start with the most recent and work back – at least to when I started recording (and I might leave a out a few). I will keep adding older ones as I have the time to upload and link them.

It's not easy writing with a mouse.

It’s not easy writing with a mouse.  Click on the real tab at the top of the home page, not the highlighted part in the picture (in case you were confused).

If any of these sermons are a blessing to you, feel free to share them as you like. Of course, I always welcome feedback of all kinds (as long as it’s not hateful), including questions, comments on delivery, etc.

Why am I doing this? Well, it’s hard to ignore the obvious opportunity of getting the preached Word of God out into the world. For crying out loud, when might I ever get to physically expound the Bible in most of the places from which I have readers? This way what I preach from the pulpit in Chattanooga can be heard in nearly 130 countries!!

That is AWESOME!

I am not the greatest preacher, nor will I ever pretend to be. Quite frankly, it could be argued that my writing is better than my speaking (at least I think so). However, some people respond differently to different styles of delivery and personality. Maybe at least this way someone will hear the Truth of the Gospel in such a way that it might stick when it only bounced off before.

Most of the recordings you listen to were simply recorded on my iPhone placed on the pulpit. One day I would love our little church to have some more high-tech recording capability, even video, but it is what it is.

Oh, and by the way, happy Back to the Future Day!  If anyone would like to take me for a ride in a DeLorean, I’m all for it 🙂

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by | October 14, 2015 · 12:56 am

Facebook Depresses Me

Depression

How can one not get depressed in this day and age? For me to claim that I never get depressed would not only be a lie, but an absurdity few would believe. For crying out loud – with varying degrees of severity – I’m only human!

I’ve heard some tell me, “But brother, you’re a minister, a pastor! Real Christians never get depressed.” I usually respond with, “Have you never heard of Jonah? Elijah? Spurgeon?” Even the greatest men of God have fallen into times of deep despair, so what makes me immune?

Depression can come on at times when we least expect it, draining all joy and optimism from even the most hopeful. However, if we can distinguish what sends us into downward spirals, those initiators of depression, it would be much easier to stay upbeat and positive.

I think I have found one of those initiators, and it’s called Facebook.

Warning!

photo (66)I think that Facebook should come with a “warning” label. Seriously! It can be dangerous! It can be utterly depressing!

Think about it, there’s really very little by way of good news on Facebook. Sure, there are the regular kitten pics and funny memes, the morning devotionals, and the occasional video of someone looking like a fool, but where’s the hope? Where’s the good news?

What I typically find on Facebook is bad news, threats of violence, predictions of doom, loads of racism and bigotry (from all sides), political tension, and food pictures. Even what might be good news to some ends up becoming a source of envy for everyone else (even me). For example:

  • “Look at my new car! I got a great deal because my perfect credit score!”
  • “Here we are at our child’s graduation from Harvard Law School.”
  • “Praise God! We had 5,000 at church this morning, 495 of whom made professions for Christ! 15 surrendered to the ministry!”
  • “Having a wonderful time in Hawaii! Looking forward to our next 10 mission trips around the world! Come join us, if you can!”

Honestly, I think there should be a big, fat warning label on Facebook, at least for my sake. Nevertheless, I may have learned my lesson.

Look Elsewhere

Just the other day as I was trying to figure out what it was that was making me feel so depressed, that bummed out kind of feeling I couldn’t shake, I picked up my cell phone and, out of habit, clicked the Facebook icon. I still remember the very words I whispered to myself as I started to scroll down through the updated stories…

“It sure would make me happy if I could just find some good news.”

Almost immediately it was like the Voice that woke little Samuel from his sleep boomed into my conscience…

“Maybe you should quit searching for good news to make you happy and find your happiness in THE Good News.”

That was it! How can I remain hopeful, joyful, happy, and upbeat when nearly everything I see on Facebook is bad news? There’s reports of terrorism, possible financial collapse, children missing, rampant immorality, religious persecution, Christians acting like heathen, and even stuff to make me envious…why think on these things???

Seriously, a great deal of the depression with which many of us battle could simply be the result of looking for hope where there is no hope. Will my political party win? Will there be something funny to make me smile? Will someone somewhere finally make the Freedom From Religion Foundation and the Westboro Baptists shut the heck up?

What does it matter? Who cares?!! Has God lost control? Has his arm become too short, his hand too weak? Has a single nation risen or fallen outside His sovereign will? NO!!! 

No App Needed

The GOOD NEWS is that God is still on the throne; I am His child and He loves me; He loves the world so much that it doesn’t matter what they’ve done, He’s still ready and willing to forgive; no law of the land can change the law of God; and one day all things will be made right.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling a little depressed, put away your phone and do a little social networking with the Lord…there’s no app for that.

 

*NOTE: Andrew Zuckerman did not approve the use of the Facebook logo for this post. However, if I ever start making any money from this blog I will take the image down. Until then the warning stays. Consider it free advertising, Mr. Zukerman.

 

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by | October 9, 2015 · 9:33 am

Proper Fear and Persuading Others

Not long ago I preached a sermon to my congregation, the following text being one of several that I used.

“Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men…” – 2 Corinthians 5:11a

There is so much talk about terrorism these days, so much talk about fear, yet very few talk about the fear of God. Why is that? After all, aren’t we commanded to fear the Lord? Isn’t it the wise thing to do?

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.” – Proverbs 9:10

The problem is that we get so distracted by the common, temporal fears of this world and forget about the eternal. Our minds are so cluttered with all the stresses of this life that we forget about what comes after.

Both of the previous verses also talk about “knowing” and  the “knowledge” of God. In the first passage (2 Cor.5:11a) the Apostle Paul is essentially telling the Corinthians: “Hey, it’s because we know who God is and what He’s capable of, not to mention the fact that we must all stand before Him one day (5:10), that we do our dead-level best to tell it to you like it is!”

In the second passage, wise King Solomon is telling anyone who will listen, “The more you know God, the better you’ll understand how life works.” Knowing and understanding who God is will produce produce fear: terror in His enemies; reverential fear in those who love Him.

Jesus said: “And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear Him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:28). [emphasis added]

So, while ever-present bad news will tend to make us want to run and hide or take matters into our own hands, keep everything in its proper perspective. Those who serve the Living Savior; those who are reconciled to God by the atonement of the cross of Christ; those who were once strangers, but now have been made children of the Father, can find peace and rest in the fearfully omnipotent hand of our faithful Creator.

“Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.” – 1 Peter 4:19 

The only ones who should be living in terror, in fear of what may come today or tomorrow, are those who have never known God, have forgotten God, or worse, mock Him (Romans 1:18-32).

When we persuade others to fear God in the proper way, they will come to know His love and love Him in return. Then, instead of living in terror, ironically, “perfect love casteth out fear” (1 John 4:18).

“For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.” – Romans 8:15 

Are you living in fear? Can you call God “Abba, Father” (Daddy)? A proper relationship will produce a proper fear; terror is the product of rebellion.

If you don’t fully understand what I’ve written, or if you’d like to know more about how to live in peace without terror, click on the Eternal Life tab at the top of the page and follow the instructions.

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by | October 8, 2015 · 5:00 am

Shortage of Common Sense

proverbial thought pictureThe following (edited) devotional was originally written in 2013 and re-released just yesterday on ProverbialThought.com. Amazing how little things have changed.

Common Sense

Some things make perfect sense. Some things are so sensible that everyone agrees, hence the term “common sense.” However, there are some things that people find hard to understand, even though anyone with common sense would think it makes perfect sense.

The following proverb should be a no-brainer.

“When a man’s ways please the LORD, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him.” – Proverbs 16:7

Pleasing Ways

Are you familiar with the Ten Commandments? Not the movie with Charleton Heston; I’m talking about the actual Ten Commandments found in the Bible.

If you haven’t read them in a while, why don’t we refresh ourselves with a few of them?

  • Don’t steal
  • Don’t murder
  • Don’t commit adultery
  • Don’t lie about your neighbor
  • Honor your father and mother
  • Don’t sit around desiring what’s not yours

If you want to live in such a way (ethically speaking) that will please the Lord, the above list is a good place to start, wouldn’t you think? What is more pleasing than not stealing, not murdering, not lying, not envying, etc.?

Peaceful Enemies

Believe it or not, doing what pleases the Lord (like not committing murder, not stealing from your employer, or not sleeping with your boss’s wife) is actually a good way to get ahead in the world. Common sense, wouldn’t you think?

I have worked with many atheists and agnostics, some of which hated what I believed, but none of them ever fired me for being a bad employee. Most gave high recommendations to my next employer. In one sense they were my “enemies,” but all in all they were peaceful. Why? Because my ways pleased the Lord.

Nonsense

What I found totally nonsensical, however, was a story relating to the Ten Commandments being posted in a public school. I can’t remember where this took place, exactly, but I do remember the reason the lawyers gave for removing the list from view…

“If the Ten Commandments are allowed to remain, then children will be tempted to do what they say.”

So, what were they saying, that if the Ten Commandments were left up someone might actually be tempted not to steal, not to lie, etc.?

Here’s a question… Which is more pleasing, a) NOT committing murder, or b) gunning down students and teachers?

I guess there’s a shortage of common sense these days.

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by | October 7, 2015 · 9:23 am

Roseburg Realities

So much has been said about the tragic murder of 9 innocent students and teachers in Roseburg, Oregon, that probably nothing I can say will be new.

However, I feel I must say something. Why not just point out a few realities?

  1. Innocent people were murdered.
  2. Innocent people are murdered every day in the womb, just not by a gun…but we can’t “politicize” that.
  3. The President said that “political will” was to blame for “allowing” another shooting.
  4. “Political will” was responsible for no one being able to shoot back.
  5. Most people who use guns to kill other people are not “mentally ill.”
  6. Most people who own guns never kill people.
  7. “Though shalt not kill” was too offensive to post on the front door.
  8. The first chapter of Romans has never been more true in America.

“Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy.” – Romans 1:28-31 NIV

Forget God, mock God, and run God out on a rail as a nation, and this is what you get – depravity. What more should we expect?

Guns don’t kill people; sinful, angry, prideful, self-centered, wicked people do.

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by | October 4, 2015 · 1:12 am

Preparing for an Encounter

Like many pastors, whether they’d admit it or not, I’m still in my little study/office with an open Bible, a note pad, some colored pencils, coffee that’s no longer hot, and a deep, yearning desire to hear from God. 

It’s after midnight, and while many folk are already in bed, still partying, or watching another increasingly perverted installment of Saturday Night Live, I’m wiping away tears as I beg for the souls of lost young men and women, boys and girls, and adults who think there’s nothing left to hear that will change their minds about Jesus. 

I know that I’m only human, but the task before me is inhuman; it is more than I can accomplish in my own strength with my own words. But I must try. I must depend on God’s endless grace and mercy. He called me, but He will empower me, speak through me, for I am but a vessel. 

Nevertheless, I struggle, for the words I choose to say must adhere to a universal Truth, the gospel that transcends cultures and circumstance. It can’t – it MUST NOT! – be a message relevant only to those here in America, but a message of Truth that could fit right in to whatever culture in which it’s shared. Otherwise, instead of a universal Gospel, all I have is my opinion on an Americanized gospel which will be irelevant to some who may attend and hear nothing more than me pontificate. 

The eleven o’clock hour at church, for many, is just another box on a list that must be checked off in order to earn a few religious brownie points. Rarely does one come, so it seems, expecting an encounter with the Living, Holy, Creator God. If I stand and preach in my own strength, with my own words, there’s no reason for any expectation. 

But if I’m broken, humble, obedient, and yielding, not to mention passionate for the heart of my Saviour,  and faithfully expound the Word of God, the universally applicable gospel of Jesus Christ, the Hope that is the same no matter where in the world a person is from, will be preached and, should the Spirit move, lives will be changed. That is my prayer. 

There’s never enough study and preparation time, so for many like me, the dark and quiet loneliness of Sunday morning is the time to wrap things up, settle my heart with God, and pray, if nothing else, that I’m not a hindrance to the glorious work set before me. 

Dear Father, may we experience an encounter with you. Where we will gather, please be in our midst. May we as Saul, as Ananias, as little Samuel, hear You call our names. May we also, with obedient and submissive hearts, say, “Here I am, Lord…what would you have me to do?” 

May it happen around the world! 

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by | October 1, 2015 · 3:13 pm

Oregon 

Can my opinion change the way people think or how they react to a given situation? Only if they are willing to listen. 

Listen to me, people. Even though many will jump at the opportunity to use today’s tragedy in Oregon as a tool to remove weapons from the hands of law-abiding citizens, don’t jump on the wagon; think differently. 

Sadly, the most insidious determiner behind today’s loss of life is not the fact that someone was able to get a gun; it was the depravity of sinful man. And, sadly, that simple, yet profound element will be overlooked, denied, and even mocked. 

Today was not the result of a gun problem, but a heart problem. It always is. But no one wants to face that, do they? It might bring up a subject much worse – 

God. 

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