I once saw a cat chase a chicken.
It chased it across a main road.
Through traffic they raced unhalted
Until they stumbled upon a dead toad.
Like half of a Sunday school song
It was flat and wide, not deep.
It hadn’t been dead for long,
And both of them started to weep.
“Oh cluck cluck cluck!” went the chicken.
“Meow so sad!” went the cat.
Then before their fruitless chase could continue,
A minivan flattened them flat.
The End
Filed under Humor, poetry, Uncategorized
I’ve only three minutes to write this poem,
I don’t even have time to delete
The words that don’t rhyme, because of the time.
Soon terror will approach upon feet.
Then sit behind me.
Here they come!!!
Filed under Uncategorized
Back in 2011 I wrote what has been my #1 most visited post every year. I’ve only re-posted it once, and that was in April of this year (2016). I would like to beat my total viewing stats for 2013, so why not post it again? Couldn’t hurt, right?
I would like to pose a question to my brothers and sisters who refuse to recognize any other translation: Was John R. Rice a heretic? If you don’t know of whom I am referring, let me give you a little background information.
Dr. John R. Rice
Dr. John R. Rice (d. 1980) was one of the most well-known fundamentalist writers and evangelists of the 20th century. He wrote more than 200 books and booklets which were published in many languages and sold all over the world. He condemned the compromise, liberalism, and apostasy being taught at major denominational colleges and seminaries, and fought for a return to holiness and the fundamentals of the Christian faith. But what I think he will always be remembered for is his founding of the weekly paper, the Sword of the Lord.
For the record, I highly respect Dr. Rice, and my personal library contains several of his works published back in the 1960’s. However, even though Dr. Rice was a great preacher and author, he was not flawless; he said some things back in the day that I have a hard time with. On the other hand, he also said some things that would shock the average reader of Sword of the Lord, especially those who believe the KJV is the one-and-only perfect, preserved text for the English-speaking world.
Unlike the Sword which continually decries any other translation as dangerous and confusing, Dr. Rice actually recommended the 1901 ASV. (OK, would somebody get a glass of water for the fainting KJV-only person on the floor?) Dr. John R. Rice, founder and editor of the Sword of the Lord newspaper, actually said that the…
“…American Standard Version, translated in 1901, is perhaps the most accurate of all versions… It takes advantage of the three great manuscripts – the Sinaiticus, the Vatican, and the Alexandrian manuscripts – which were not available when the King James Version was translated.” from, Dr. Rice, Here Is My Question (Wheaton: Sword of the Lord, 1962), p. 59.
As an overall explanation of his beliefs on the topic of multiple translations, Dr. Rice also stated:
“[There] are many, many translations. The differences in the translations are so minor, so insignificant, that we can be sure not a single doctrine, not a single statement of fact, not a single command or exhortation, has been missed in our translations. And where the Word of God is not perfectly translated in one instance, it is corrected in another translation. And if the Word of God is not perfectly portrayed in one translation, it is portrayed, surely, in the winnowed sum of them all… Have copyists passed on to us any major errors so that in any particular matter we miss the Word of God? There is abundant evidence that they have not. Do the various translations differ materially on any doctrine, any fact of history, any Christian duty, on the plan of salvation, or the Person of Christ, or any comfort or instruction? No, they do not! God has preserved His Scriptures. – from, Our God-Breathed Book, the Bible (Murfreesboro, TN: Sword of the Lord Publishers, 1969), p. 355.
Now, according to those who refuse to read or use any other translation of the Bible than the King James 1611, Dr. Rice, who had probably been one of their heroes, is now a liberal.
What a shame! He did so much!
I believe that God inspired His Word (2 Timothy 3:16). I believe He gave it to us in the original autographs. I believe that He has preserved copies of those originals in the examples we have of Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic manuscripts. What I do not believe is that the King James Version was the one-and-only, forever-settled-as-pure-and-inspired translation. It is ONLY a translation. To say that no other English translation is the Word of God is to say that the Geneva Bible, 51 years older than the KJV, was just a book.
The Kings James Version of the Bible changed the world. We should all be grateful for it. I still use it many times when preaching, and especially when memorizing verses. But even though the KJV was and is a blessing of God, His Word is preserved in the ORIGINAL TEXTS. Anything other than the original languages, including the King James, is a translation.
Our goal should be to use the best translations of the texts at our disposal when we are preaching and teaching, comparing them with each other and the originals, when possible, so that we can better understand how God’s Word should be understood in today’s language. After all, if you can’t understand it, doing you no good is the least of your worries – doing harm because of a faulty understanding based on a changed vocabulary is far worse. That is where the REAL heresy comes from.
But hey, it doesn’t matter which translation, if you are not reading it and studying it on your own, you might as well be reading Harry Potter and the Temple of Whatever.
READ your Bible. STUDY your Bible. Let the Holy Spirit guide you as you read and study. If you do, several wonderful things will happen: you won’t be ashamed in the end (2 Timothy 2:15); you will find light for your path (Psalm 119:105); and you will know how not to sin against God (Psalm 119:11). Even the ASV, ESV, HCSB, or the NIV will tell you that!
Wouldn’t you agree, Dr. Rice?
Filed under baptist, legalism, translations, Uncategorized
Today I asked a high schooler if she had ever been homeless or had to beg on the street. With a cool tone she responded, “Uh, no.” I then said, “Then you’re missing out on some really good resume enhancers.”
For example, here are a few skills learned on the street, yet rarely appreciated:
1. Creative self-marketing.
2. Product placement.
3. Location research and acquisition.
4. Creative use of recyclables in advertising.
5. Ability to adapt to ever-changing socio-economic, legal, and geo-thermal climates.
See, just doing my job to help out kids on the bus, especially those with little or no vision.
Filed under Humor, Life Lessons, Uncategorized
Getting help from people in my congregation to visit and do evangelism outreach in our community is not easy. Of course, I’m not the best leader in the world, either.
All of us need to improve in our own right, and this post from Keith Haney can help.
This is a famous fable about four people in the church whose names were Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
The church had financial responsibilities, and Everybody was asked to help. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it. But you know who did it? Nobody. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
Then the church grounds needed some work, and Somebody was asked to help. But Somebody got angry about that, because Anybody could have done it just as well and, after all, it was Everybody’s job. In the end, the work was given to Nobody, and Nobody did an excellent job.
On and on this went. Whenever work was to be done, Nobody could always be counted on. Nobody visited the sick. Nobody gave liberally. Nobody shared his faith. In short, Nobody was a very faithful…
View original post 941 more words
Filed under Uncategorized
Living in a house full of women has taught me one thing, if nothing else. It’s almost impossible to get in the last .
– Anthony Baker
Filed under Aliens, Humor, Marriage, Relationships and Family, Uncategorized, wisdom
The following was first published in November of 2010. I do miss having my own “Ride.”
“The Ride”
My wife will not let me put a bumper sticker of any kind on her car. Even if she was driving a rusty Chevy Vega which desperately needed the qualities of something with adhesive properties to keep her bumper stuck to her car…no bumper stickers. Not so with my Ride. I don’t need no stinkin’ sticky things! Just staples and zip ties, thank you. Really, what I mean to say is that “The Ride” is not too good to advertise TheRecoveringLegalist.com, even though my wife thinks her car is too special. HA!
Bumper stickers are something akin to free advertisement…
…They promote whatever you want other people to know about you and what you think, or for that matter, how well your kids think. Plastered to the back of a rolling billboard, they catch the eye of total strangers who have the random chance to find themselves behind you and I in traffic, or who catch a glimpse in a parking garage. Some people, I have come to realize, are advertizing more than they know, for some bumper stickers betray a hidden (at least to the owner of the car) stupidity.
There are so many bumper stickers that scream “MORON!”
Here is one that I saw. What a profound question. Why do we kill people that kill people? Could it be that we don’t want them to killpeople again? Could it be that they deserve to die for taking an innocent child’s life? Could it be that there are those out there on parole who would love to shoot your stupid…..(calm yourself, Anthony)…..well, they would love to steal your car and leave you beside the road in a ditch, then drive away with your false advertisement on THEIR bumper.
The one that I would have to say gets me the most, maybe because I see it the most, is COEXIST. I just love all the little symbols that are used to make up the happy little plea for love and harmony. Too bad what it tells me is that the owner of the car is a blooming idiot, at the very least, or somehow an ostrich has learned how to drive with his head in the sand. The message behind the little sticker is really, “Hey you Christians! Can you quit being so narrow-minded and hateful? Don’t you know that we all just want to get along, but you keep screwing it up?” All religions are the same, you know, or that’s the idea. We are all worshipping the same god, just by a different name. All paths lead to heaven, it’s just that some choose to take a shortcut by blowing themselves to Allah in the name of Jihad…is that so wrong?
Tell that to the “C”
I like the following verse. Psalm 107:2 says, “Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy…” As Christians, we should be speaking out about the goodness and mercy of our God, not trying to seek favor with false gods by “COEXISTing” in perfect joy and mutual admiration. People in this country have the right to free speech and to freedom of religion, but if you haven’t noticed, we are in a real religious war. The “C” doesn’t like the “T” in that bumper sticker. If you’re going to put something on your bumper, make it something that points people down the narrow road, not the wide one that leads to destruction. Show your intelligence and advertize your faith…just don’t be tacky and weird about it…or then we get back into the looking-like-a-moron thing that my wife so desperately wants to avoid.
Now here’s an idea for the “perfect” bumper sticker!
…because I read another poem about the moon personified…and I’m in between bus routes…
“It’s Not My Light”
I know that you see me, and you think that I can shine.
But the light is a reflection, which is why I’m called the “lesser.” The brightness that you see is his, not mine.
Had the light you see been coming straight from me, perfection would be all the beam would show.
But here the surface is laid bare before each telescopic stare, made evident each night within the glow.
I do not shine, I just reflect.
Filed under poetry, Uncategorized
Just doing some scrolling through Facebook, that’s when I came across the following video by a wonderful couple, the wife now gone on to be with the Lord. I think it’s worth watching.
You see, I am from a different time…a different era…a different generation. I came along before “seeker friendly” was a thing, and when “time out” was only something you took between work …or between rounds.
We look at our communities these days and wonder what to do. As I drove my school bus this afternoon I can’t tell you how many gang signs and hand shakes I saw exchanged. There wasn’t a single respectful word returned in exchange for anything I said, not even when I said, “Good morning.” And all I hear talk about is more programs and tax dollars.
We’ve got a victim-minded society that is rearing self-indulgent, over-entitled, spoiled, angry, unloved, snotty-nosed brats with no moral compass and a hatred for anything wholesome. Then, when one of the little darlings doesn’t get his way we blame the gun he uses in the crime he commits and attack the cop who arrested him.
What’s wrong? Maybe we should quit depending on the village to raise our kids and get back to using a Bible and a belt. It worked for my generation. It’ll work for this one.
Filed under America, clothing, General Observations, Life Lessons, music, Parenting, Relationships and Family, Uncategorized
Here I am in the terminal of the Dulles International Airport in Washington, D.C. As of this writing I still have an hour or two before boarding a 777 in route to Ethiopia, then Zimbabwe.
Please make sure to check out the guest posts which I’ve scheduled over the next week or so.
Now, the reason I’m writing this post while sitting in the airport is because I saw something I’ve never seen before.
I guess when men and women can use the bathroom of their choice, depending on how they identify at any given moment, I’m glad our animals now have a place to relieve themselves.
But what if, after all this travel, I feel DOG TIRED?
Just a thought. But how do you flush that hydrant?
Filed under America, animals, Culture Wars, Uncategorized
Click to Order
The Recovering Legalist 