Category Archives: General Observations

Just things I see that make me think.

by | December 12, 2012 · 1:21 pm

100-Year Event Witnessed

Where Were You?

Where were you when Elvis died? Were you even born? I was sitting in front of a 13-channel Magnavox television at my baby-sitters century-old, north Chattanooga house.

Where were you when man landed on the moon? I was probably wetting my washable, cloth diapers.

Where were you 100 years ago? Well, I wasn’t around then, but 100 years from now, if I live to be 145, I will remember today.

Interrupted

Taken on my daughter's iPhone.

Taken on my daughter’s iPhone.

I was in the process of taking my mind off of the true stresses and cares of this world, like finances, cell phones that don’t work the way you think they should after the money you spend on them, and sick wives (well, the one I have, at least), when all of a sudden my daughter screams, “You’re missing it!”

At one moment I was in the process of putting together a memorable blog piece about marbles and possibly some puke, then the next I was reminded that it was 12:12 on 12/12/12.

My daughter took a picture on her phone to archive the moment. Cool, huh? But not as cool as a post about marbles and puke, I bet.

Made Me Think

So, I began to think as I was typing this post as a substitute for the post I was in the process of composing, “what could be the point?” In other words, my daughter just memorialized a once-in-a-life-time event, but so what? It that it? Time was here, now it’s gone. What now? Has anything changed?

That’s when I thought of another date: 9/26/73. That was the day that a little boy named Anthony realized he was a sinner and needed Jesus to forgive him. That was the day he knelt beside a little Sunday School room table, and with the help of his dad, prayed to receive Jesus as his Lord and Savior. Everything changed that day.

It was a once-in-an-eternity event.

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by | December 5, 2012 · 1:50 pm

Eye of the Beholder

A Beholder, I Am

Master Yoda, when you were stuck away in the swamp for hundreds of years, did your sense for what you considered beautiful change? I mean, with no more Yodettes around, did you ever start thinking the slimy, green critters crawling on Luke’s half-drowned X-Wing were beginning to look like wife material? Wondering, I was just.

You see, here on this earth I am beginning to wonder if my sense of beauty is being affected. As I behold what so many others consider the definition of beautiful, I fear my eyes are being damaged beyond repair!

Danged if You do, and So Forth

Women are always wanting men to think they are beautiful. Rarely do they try to excite our gag reflexes. Yet, on the other hand, when we do express our opinions we are attacked for being “male.”

Most of the time women are trying to get us in trouble by asking, “How does this dress that I don’t like make me look?” But more recently women seem to be dressing in such awfully disgusting ways, all the while still demanding that we say, “Oh sweetie, you look beautiful! That nostril necklace accents your lip stud perfectly!” God help us if we every ask, “what were you thinking?”

Our only option is to judge them fit for beholder consumption without making a judgment.

Real-World Beauty Pageant

I guess I would really like to be a real-world beauty pageant judge – similar to those who determine the predetermined winners of other beauty pageants. I could be paid to walk around shopping malls and discount stores looking to hand out trophies for “Best Dressed on Isle 9,” or “Most Modest in a Hurricane.” I could even give away prizes to single moms who kept their mascara from running while in Toys-R-Us.

Women exhibiting any of the following would be automatically expelled from the competition and fined (in dollars, cigarettes, or whatever was most valuable to them).

  • womanSpandex or Sweat Pants outside of a gym
  • Tube tops…including sweat pants pulled up high enough to replace a tube top
  • Spiked hair, especially if tipped with any color not included in a natural rainbow
  • Any item of clothing with PINK written on it
  • Any tattoo that says, Sexy, Hot, or Boy Toy
  • Exposed flesh that hangs beneath the bottom of a full-lenght t-shirt
  • Enough piercings to tenderize a 16 oz. steak
  • Or, any exposed undergarments, such as pink bra straps, thongs, etc.

True Beauty

However, fortunately for everyone, I am not a beauty judge (aren’t you glad?) On the other hand, I do have eyes, which does makes me a beholder. Until I go totally blind…well…some people are just going to make my eyes hurt. And that’s OK.

TRUE beauty can only be found within. Outward appearances can only reflect what is inside, at best. Real beauty is determined by a woman’s heart and actions.

“A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.” – Prov. 11:22 NLT

But beware men, even women who appear beautiful on the outside may turn out to be one of Yoda’s “girlfriends”.

“Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;” – Proverbs 6:25 ESV

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30 ESV

So, Master Yoda, is it that stranger things are becoming more accepted, and therefore judged to be more beautiful, or are we just getting used to the swamp?

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by | November 26, 2012 · 6:42 pm

A Christmas Wish

Lists

Christmas wish lists can be really amusing. Recently a mother of a needy family gave me a list of requested items for her children. I was told that the children would be happy with anything. Really? Would her children be happy with chalk, a box of Crayons, a wooden train, and a slinky? What about a stick?

Today’s children are more spoiled today than ever before. Not only do they want the newest toys and gadgets, but the toys and gadgets they want are more advanced than anything Captain Kirk used.

Wishes

And then there are the wishes that people make around Christmas time. Some people wish for world peace. Others wish for Michael Jackson to return from the dead to do a benefit concert for world hunger.

Teenage girls have the most annoying wish lists. They usually involve a prepubescent rock star who thinks he’s tough taking them on an exotic date to an awards show at Nickelodeon. If not that, then it’s sparkly vampires carrying them off into a never-ending twilight. Gag me with a spoon.

My Wish

So what’s my wish? My wish is that things would just go back to the way they were when this picture was taken.

Other than for the goofy safety glasses, I looked pretty cool!

Back in the late 80’s and early 90’s I worked for a company that serviced nuclear facilities. My job involved flying on commercial aircraft all over the country. And whenever I flew on a new or different airliner, I asked to take a picture of the cockpit.

Here, the pilot actually told me to sit in his seat and wear his hat while he took the picture. What’s even more incredible is that while I was sitting there the engines were still running. He told me to put my hand on the throttles while the engines were still running!

Can you even imagine this happening today? Not hardly. That’s why I wish we could go back to an earlier, more trusting day and age; long before 9/11 and the jerks that ruined everything.

My Hope

Well, even though things may never be the same again, there will come a day when peace will fill the land. There will come a day when men’s swords are beaten into plows. But that day will only come when the Prince of Peace assumes the throne.

When He came before, He came as a humble baby.

“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” – Isaiah 9:6

 The next time He comes, things will be a little different.

“He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:” – Luke 1:32

“For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.” – Matthew 16:26-27

 What a Christmas that would be!

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by | November 12, 2012 · 11:23 pm

Oh No, Elmo!

Breaking Newsmo

Today it was announced that the man who gives Elmo life has been accused of having sexual relations with a 16-year-old boy. In light of these accusations Kevin Clash has taken a leave of absence to work on his defense (you can read the TMZ article here). Mr. Clash does not deny having sex with the boy; he just denies that the boy was underage when the relationship took place.

Considering what happened to the Pee-wee Herman character created and performed by Paul Reubens, what will be the future of Elmo? Sesame Street Workshop told TMZ that “Elmo is bigger than any one person and will continue to be an integral part of Sesame Street to engage, educate and inspire children around the world.” Really?

Never Be the Samemo

Until this news story came out, it is probable that few people ever heard of Kevin Clash. Certainly most of the children of the world never associate a human being with what goes on inside of that red, polyester fur. Nevertheless, even if Elmo the puppet continues to work on Sesame Street without Clash, some things will never be the same.

The Voice. Who will replace the voice of Elmo should Kevin Clash don an orange jumpsuit? Will Elmo sound the same? They could bring in a replacement actor for a little while, I suppose; just long enough for Mr. Clash to get fitted for his monitoring device. If so, I have a few suggestions…

How about Jeff Dunham, creator of Achmed the Dead Terrorist? Could you imagine Elmo saying, “Today’s episode is brought to you by the letter ‘Q’….Quiet! …I KEEEL YOU!”

Or, James Earl Jones (Darth Vader) could do a guest appearance (voice only) in a scene where Elmo tells his gold fish, “Dorothy, I am your father.” One thing is for sure, hearing Jones’ laugh would not be as annoying as a Tickle Me Elmo doll that won’t turn off.

Joel Osteen would be the best choice. Dialated pupils…rosy complexion…happy voice. All that would be needed for a complete character makeover would be a perfect set of teeth (and a golden globe in ever episode of Elmo’s World).

The Toys. After this I will never be able to play with a Tickle Me Elmo, Scratch Me Elmo, or Dance in the Dark With Me Elmo doll ever again. Every time I here “Elmo loves you” I will feel compelled to wonder about his intentions.

On the other hand, maybe Sesame Street could turn this into a teaching opportunity? By next Christmas they could unveil a Track Me Elmo, complete with ankle bracelet and parole officer badge for the owner. With the free, downloadable smartphone app, every time the doll got too close to a daycare, school, or friend’s house the ankle bracelet would sent a message to the child’s phone. Cool idea, huh?

In Danger of Helmo

I certainly hope that Elmo’s skeleton is innocent of all charges. I also hope that the father and role model who fills the fuzzy embodiment of sweetness and childlike innocence will not cause any harm to his little fans. But if he is guilty, I would hate to be in his Elmo slippers.

Jesus said, “It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea, than that he would cause one of these little ones to stumble” (Luke 17:2 NASB). The end result of all this might not be too funny.

Seriously, pray for Kevin Clash. And pray for all involved in this sad story.

(Update, 11/15/12) Accuser retracts statement…

“He wants it to be known that his sexual relationship with Mr. Clash was an adult consensual relationship,” the statement read. “He will have no further comment on the matter.”
Read more: (Click Here)

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by | November 9, 2012 · 9:17 am

Reverse-Racism and Legalism

Have You Heard?

Unless you live under a rock or play video games all day while your mom does your laundry and pays your bills, you are probably aware that there was an election held in the United States. And unless you are so “spiritual” that you could care less who leads the nation in which you live, you are probably aware that Barack Obama was elected to a second term.

That being said, I thought I would share with you what happened on Wednesday morning, the day after the election.

Elementary Conclusions

If you do not already know, I drive a school bus in the mornings and afternoons to supplement my income as a bi-vocational pastor. The students I transport range in age from 5 to 18.

On Wednesday morning, after transporting the older students to school, I stopped to pick up my first elementary students. At 7:41 a.m. the first three, two girls and one boy, got on the bus

As happened earlier in the morning with the middle and high school students, chants of “Obama won! Obama won!” rang out and echoed within the aluminum walls of my bus. It was like both young and old went to the same victory rally. Then, a sweet, little girl (I won’t mention her name) came up behind me as I was driving and excitedly asked,

“Did you know Obama won?”

“Yes, I know.”

“Who did you vote for, Mr. Baker?”

“I voted for Mr. Romney.”

“Ewwww! Boooooo! Why did you vote for Romney?”

“Why do you think I voted for Mitt Romney?” I asked.

“Because he was too white, that’s why.”

How insulting! She thought (assumed) that I voted for Romney because he looked like me.  Why would she think that? Whatever she believed is what she was taught at home. Whatever she thought of me was based on what she was told about all white people. What was I supposed to say?

I spoke the truth. “[Little girl],” I said, “that was a very racist statement.”

Alive and Well

Sadly, after all the progress that has been made in this great nation, racism is still alive and well, but not in the form people want to admit. Reverse-racism is just as much racism as any other kind, but few recognize it, and fewer condemn it.

Wednesday morning I was essentially labeled a bigot because I voted for a candidate that was the same race as me. If that was true, then what does it say about those of a different color who voted for the candidate that looked like them? Are they bigots, too?

Believe it or not, legalism and this story have a lot in common. Legalism assumes the thoughts and intentions of another based on outward appearances and man-made teachings. Reverse-racism, at least in my case, assumed my intentions because of my skin color. Now, what was it that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said?

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.…[1]

Legalism ignores the “content of one’s character” as long as outward appearances don’t match a pre-determined template for holiness, while reverse-racism disqualifies legitimate concern and silences those who would speak out.

Both legalism and reverse-racism tend to cause people to act out of fear, rather than conviction. Both steal a person’s God-given freedom to think.

Both are wrong.

[1] William J. Federer, Great Quotations: A Collection of Passages, Phrases, and Quotations Influencing Early and Modern World History Referenced According to Their Sources in Literature, Memoirs, Letters, Governmental Documents, Speeches, Charters, Court Decisions and Constitutions (St. Louis, MO: AmeriSearch, 2001).

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by | October 23, 2012 · 7:14 pm

Wouldn’t You Take Him Home?

Tear Jerkers

Frequently I see posts/pictures on Facebook that are really meant to make one cry. And many times the tears are supposed to make one want to do something, like give to a charity, hug a tree, or feed the hungry.

Now, look at the picture to the right. Here you have a grown dog sitting in the middle of a street getting soaked in the rain. I don’t know who took the picture, but the title of the Facebook post was something like, “Wouldn’t you take him home?”

That got me to thinking about some things. Can I share them with you?

  • Go ahead, go up to the dog. I bet it’ll snap your hand off at the wrist.
  • Have you ever wondered why a grown dog has chosen to just sit in the rain?
  • If the dog was smart enough to fetch your slippers, don’t you think it could have found something to hide under?
  • It the dog is so stupid that it can’t get out of the rain, then do you really want it in your home?
  • Is it possible that he simply wants to be left alone because his girlfriend left him for a Doberman? If that is true, refer back to the first point.

An Old Dog

Looking at this dog sitting in the rain also got me to thinking about some other things. For instance, why don’t we think about old men that way? Let’s just say that dog in the road is 5 or 6 years old – that would make him what, 30 or 40 in human years? Would you look at a drug addict lying in the rain and ask, “Wouldn’t you take him home?”

No, a grown man has made his choices, right? He should be left in the rain, or on the side of the road bleeding. It’s one thing to help a dirty dog, but a stranger? Get real, right? I mean, who does that kind of thing? A good Samaritan?

Isn’t that strange? Why is it that we would be more likely to cry a tear over an old dog than a man? A mother’s child?

What About These?

And then I remembered this picture. It is not of a dog in the rain, or a cat in a kennel, or a puppy in the pound; it’s just a bunch of orphans.

Back in 1992 I had the rare privilege to visit a Romanian orphanage. The children did not know why we were there, but they were excited. It wasn’t often that strangers were allowed in, especially after a 1990 news story on ABC’s 20/20.  They stood lined against a wall…waiting.

Wouldn’t you take one home? Don’t you know what happens to orphans in places like this, especially after they “graduate” at age 18?

Misplaced Sorrow

It is only my opinion, but I think we should worry less about animals in the rain and more about humans living in drains. I’ll never forget a story I saw about children living in the sewage drains of Kenyan cities. They would sniff glue at night, not for fun, but to keep from feeling the pain of hunger. That should make us cry.

“For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'” – Matthew 25:35-40 NLT

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by | October 17, 2012 · 11:15 am

Publishing Suggestions?

Quick Question…

Some of you have a little insight into the differences between self-publishing and somebody else-publishing. A few of you are either already published authors, or are in the process.

What are the reasons you chose to take the route you did? Would you do things differently if given the chance?

Trying to Look Edumacated.

I am going to begin working on a book very soon, and I would appreciate any advice you have.

Have any of you had any experience with either Crossway Books, or Xulon? I have talked with both, but have not come to any conclusions (both publish Christian authors).

Thanks!

Oh, by the way…Am I only deceiving myself, or do you think my writing style is bankable? Go ahead, it’s OK to tell me you love me.

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by | October 16, 2012 · 5:59 pm

“Freshly Pressed” High, then Reality

Woo Hoo!

I was so thrilled when I was told this blog was going to be featured on “Freshly Pressed.” I was literally ecstatic (well, let me make sure of the definition – a trance-like state of joy or delight – OK, that’s good), really I was.

Just the thought that this wee widdle bwog was chosen out of so many thousands was mind blowing. It was better than when I got the Perfect Attendence Award in 3rd grade! Or was it 4th grade? Or was it the spelling bee?

Anyway, on October 1st my recorded views gradually climbed and climbed, peaking out at 942 by midnight. Wow! Never in one day has so many people come to read anything I had ever written. Wow!

Woo!

Then October 2nd came. Wow! Several hundred views in one day. Not too bad, little camper!

And then all the other days came…and went…with gradually declining numbers. It was like watching Enron‘s stock prices fall. It was like I was watching my stats try to break the sound barrier after leaping from a record height.

But it was all right. I knew that going in. I knew there were no promises that I would become an award-winning blogger overnight, all because of some silly award-like gift from the blogging mega-minds at WordPress. I mean, after all, I did get a few followers and a whole lot of “likes” (to which I have not yet finished replying – sorry).

Oh Hooey!

No, the real problem was that once the initial high was over, I had to face reality. Only 1000 views in a day? Are you kidding? I was excited about nearly 1000 views in a day?

Do you realize that there are blogs out there that receive tens of thousands of views a day? Let me spell that out – Tee Eee Enn Thous Ain’t Nothin’. Whatever.

If getting thousands of views a day means I  have to become another Perez Hilton, forget it.

Oh Hey!

Thanks, though, for all of you who regularly stop by to read my nonsense. You are appreciated. All 15 of you.

Now back to writing about stuff that matters. My wife just told me, “You keep writing stuff like that, and if it were me, I would quit coming back to see what you wrote – all that ‘just to write‘ stuff doesn’t interest me. Just saying.”

Next Topic: How NOT to Encourage Your Spouse

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by | October 14, 2012 · 7:06 pm

A Dream Come True, Sadly

A Dream

It has long been a dream of mine to just lay (lie?) in bed all day. All day, all night, just chillin’ there in my Spongebob pants.

Part of the dream is getting phone calls with people asking, “Anthony, where are you?” In response I would say, “Oh, just laying in bed.”

“But it’s 3 in the afternoon!” they would exclaim, thinking I could be shocked back to reality. “Really?” I would say, “I thought it was much later.”

A Nightmare

Well, my dream became reality, only it was a reality far too real to be fun. Saturday morning, about 9 a.m., I began to feel ill. By 10:00 I was in full-blown stomach virus meltdown. I made it to my bedroom and didn’t leave until just before this post.

On Thursday and Friday our oldest daughter, Alicia, came to visit. She stayed in our bed, sick with whatever my wife and I both caught. Friday night my wife became ill, then I followed.

But hey, there I was, over 24 hours in bed (except for the multiple trips to the toilet and the occasional cooling off time on the bathroom floor).

Be Careful…

You know the old saying, “Be careful what you wish for?” Well, be careful what you wish for.

Laying (lying) in bed all day and night is no fun, especially when you can’t do anything. I couldn’t read, watch TV, listen to music, get comfortable, or even enjoy crackers and water.

Important Things

But I can say that spending all that time in bed sick as a dog (although I have never seen a dog so sick) reminded me of what is most important – not being sick.

When one is puking his guts up, along with incurring the revenge of Montezuma, Facebook, WordPress, Twitter, texting, and any other form of modern communication is worthless. Relationships are even worthless if they are as sick as you are. The most important thing is to not be sick, unless you have other family who is willing to treat you like a spoiled baby and meet your every perceived need.

Thankfully, after coming home from a youth outing Saturday night, our other daughters were able to see the humor in two adults in misery. Considering how this stuff is so contagious, I wonder how important they will think it was to make fun of mommy and daddy in a day or two?

They’re just lucky they brought us jello and water when we asked. That was important, too.

Oh, One More Thing…

Years ago, when I was in Romania, I became similarly ill. Well, actually I was much worse, because that illness lasted for nearly a week – I almost died.

Do you know what I was given to make me feel better? Green tea, white rice, and goat cheese. Sorry, but it didn’t help.

What I wanted was Sprite (or something like it) over real, honest-to-goodness ice. You know, H2o that is frozen into little tiny cubes. My host family said, “Nu, Nu, Nu!” I said, “Da, Da, Da!”

Long story short, a U.S. Navy medic who was traveling with us agreed to find a carbonated drink (which ended up being mineral water with fruit syrup) and some bottle caps. We boiled some water, filled the caps, and snuck them into a tiny freezer. That night I had ice in my drink.

American ingenuity – what a wonderful thing!

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by | October 10, 2012 · 1:09 pm

Blog Drug

Can’t Help It!

I have so much writing to do by tomorrow night, it isn’t even funny (but that won’t keep me from finding something to laugh about, especially when I start operating on no sleep). I have to get a research paper done  – no excuses.

But when I keep getting email notifications of other blog posts, it’s like waving an addictive drug in front of an addict to addictive drugs. It’s driving me crazy! I want to write about stuff, too!

So, even though I am on a deadline, I had to get on here and say something. I can’t help it. It’s been too long.

Something

“Something.” There, I said it.

That does remind me of a professor I had years and years and years ago. Dr. Jay P. Trimble was a black (African-American, to be politically correct) pastor and veteran of the Vietnam war. He was (and is) a tough cookie.

Whenever Dr. Trimble would say something worth saying, and he knew it, he expected a response. If he didn’t get an “amen,” a “hallelujah,” or a “you got that right,” he would slam his hand on the pulpit and say in a loud, gruff voice that would remind you of a Harley Davidson revving its engine, “I SAID something!”

Well, I might not have had anything worth saying, but I DID say “something.”

Can I get an “AMEN!”?

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