Category Archives: Christian Living

by Anthony Baker | October 14, 2013 · 1:32 pm

Her Pain Is Mine

Fibromyalgia

I don’t know what you know about fibromyalgia, but whatever it is, whatever causes it, my wife suffers terribly from it. Over the last several years it has robbed my wife of her ability to enjoy many things in life that we take for granted, like sitting, sleeping, getting dressed, washing one’s hair, or even being hugged.

So many people doubt fibromyalgia is real. They say that if it was a legitimate illness, then there would be clearly identifiable symptoms, specific medications or treatments that would work, and even a Jerry Lewis-like celebrity raising money for research. Unfortunately, the only real constant for my wife is pain, and all that comes with never getting relief.

Putting on a brave face is a daily occurrence. My wife was always the hard worker, the entrepreneur, and the aggravating “early riser” who would wake everyone else in the house with, “Thank you, Lord, for this fine day!” Now, her smile is for the encouragement of others who look to her as a pastor’s wife; but her family knows the truth: she spends much of her time in tears.

We have tried doctor after doctor, from local clinics to Vanderbilt. Tests of every kind have been run, yet all are inconclusive. The only diagnosis is fibromyalgia – and there is no cure. She has her better days, and her really bad days, but rarely are there good days. It would seem that this is a burden which we are destined to bear, that is, until God sees fit to lift it.

After a particular troubling doctor visit today, one who made all kinds of false assumptions and accusations, my dear wife decided she couldn’t handle much more. She wept. That is when I wrote the following poem.

Give Us Strength

I tend to wonder

About what I know

Or at least what I think I know

About pain, about grief

About the reason for no sleep

I tend to wonder

I tend to ask

The usual “whys?”

And I guess I know the “why”

But I doubt at times

When there’s no reason or rhyme

I tend to ask

I know the truth

But I tend to wonder

About the load she’s under

The pain without an end

I ask for answers, even when

I know the Truth

Give me strength

But give her more

Dry her tears; make mine pour

On my shoulders place her sorrow

And for the joy again tomorrow

Give us strength

Pray for Us

I try to be funny on this blog. There are times I get angry, too. But right now I really want to ask all of you who pray to intercede for my wife, Valerie. Pray for her healing. Pray that I will know how to better encourage her. But pray, most of all, that through all that we endure God will receive the glory.

As both of us cry together and wonder why she has to go through this, I am reminded of our Savior who also cried in the garden and said: “Father, if it be your will, let this cup pass from me.” Our prayer is that this will pass.

But, Jesus also said, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done.” (Luke 22:42) Whatever tomorrow holds, to God be the glory!

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV

Explaining Fibromyalgia To Others (stuartotwaysmith.wordpress.com)

10 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Defining Marriage, Do not judge, Faith, Life Lessons, poetry, Relationships and Family

Tagged as Chronic pain, Fibromyalgia, Health

by Anthony Baker | September 23, 2013 · 6:00 am

What to Wear to Church?

“What to wear to church?” has consistently been the number one search entry leading people to The Recovering Legalist. What does that tell you?

If you’ve never read my thoughts on this before, this is the post all the search engines bring up. It was written back in 2010.

Clothing

Recently, I was asked to be the guest speaker at a larger, more contemporary church. Out of respect for each other, the pastor of that church and I jokingly discussed what I should wear. You see, he never wears a suit, while I almost always do. His congregation has become more “contemporary,” while my congregation remains more “traditional.” So, to make me comfortable, the pastor told me whatever I wanted to wear was fine. Therefore, I will compromise – I will probably wear a sport coat, khakis, and flip flops…not really.

The way I dress to go to church may not be the way you dress. My style may not suit your tastes, nor yours mine. But the fact of the matter is that unless you’re totally too liberal, or don’t go at all, you wear some kind of clothing to church, correct? Well, have you ever wondered if what you wear to church is appropriate?

Below are some of my thoughts on the subject.

It’s Not About You

If you are planning to attend a worship service where God is supposed to be the center of attention, don’t dress like a clown! Don’t dress like you are going to an L.A. premier of Lady Gaga’s new movie, It’s All About Me.

Some cultures believe people should come to church in clothing that could damage someone’s retina. Gettin’ “fancied up” is what’s expected. But it’s this type of clothing, in most cases, that draws attention to the congregant, not Christ. My advice is to stay away from neon suits and flashing bow ties. Church clothing should be a covering, not a calling card.

Show Some Respect

Some people think it is totally appropriate to wear enough jewelry and feathers to keep pawn shops in business and all geese naked. Others think it is completely acceptable to look like a drunk that slept in an alley all night (no offense to the drunk). Neither shows a sense of respect. The first steals God’s glory, while the second implies God’s house is no different than anywhere else.

Here’s a couple suggestions. Try going to a White House dinner looking like a hobo or a hippie from the 60’s. Receive an invitation to tea from Queen Elizabeth and show up looking like you just got out of bed and never took a shower. Unless you’re a bonafide rock star, security personnel may escort you to a private room to “get acquainted.” So then, if dignitaries of earthly kingdoms demand respect, why shouldn’t we offer it to our Heavenly King? Is God not greater than Obama? (clear throat)

Beware of Legalistic Standards

However, whatever you wear, don’t be too quick to judge another’s spiritual condition by what they wear. Only God knows the heart.

Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand. – Rom 14:4 KJV

Sadly, I have been around many believers who consider one style of clothing a sign of spiritual maturity, while another style a sign of spiritual waywardness. And you know what’s funny? It doesn’t matter which side of the spiritual tracks, there’s always somebody looking at another thinking, “They’re not right with God.”

Legalism cuts both ways, dear friend. For example, I have been to churches that ridiculed any woman who wears pants, or a man who never tucks in his shirt. On the other hand, I have been in congregations that blatantly condemned all dress and tie-wearers as right-wing, self-righteous, fundamentalist, nut jobs. In both cases someone judged another’s spirituality based on outward appearances, alone. In both cases one group’s set of standards were being used as a guide to what is spiritual behavior, and what is not. That’s LEGALISM!

Believe it or not, the most modern, non-denominational, praise-and-worship-style congregation can be just as legalistic as the narrow-minded traditionalist. I may not prefer to preach in blue jeans on Sunday morning, but I’m not going to condemn someone who does. Likewise, when I don’t wear a suit and tie on Sunday night, I am not going to condemn someone who dresses like he’s going to a funeral.

Context, Context, Context

Ultimately, how you dress should be determined by the context of your community. Small, rural congregations might not feel comfortable dressing for church in the same way a metropolitan First Baptist may. Similarly, churches in depressed economies may adopt different dress codes than upwardly mobile societies. The key is to be respectful, honorable, and considerate of the holy moment at hand. Whatever fits that bill is good enough.

Just keep this principle in mind: Grace accepts, Maturity develops, and Love constrains.

Don’t make appearances the only thing about which you’re concerned. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is far too important a message to be drowned in petty arguments about whether it is appropriate to dress up for church, or go dress-casual. Many people in the world have to worship Christ underground – literally. Dress codes are the least of their worries. Additionally, the drug addict who needs hope and help may not have any clothes left that he hasn’t already sold to get high. The single mother of five that walks into your church may have barely enough energy to survive, much less do her hair.

Do all things to the glory of the Lord, but keep things in perspective, OK?

My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism [or be legalistic]. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? – Jam 2:1-5 NIV

Why Would You Want to be a Legalist? (therecoveringlegalist.com)
Clothing Matters: What We Wear to Church (frstephensmuts.wordpress.com)
I Am One Of “Those” People (haroldcameron.wordpress.com)

8 Comments

Filed under baptist, Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Christian Unity, Culture Wars, Do not judge, Independent Baptist, legalism, Southern Baptist

Tagged as Baptist, Christ, Christianity, Dress code, God, Independent Baptist, lady GaGa, Legalism, Southern Baptist Convention, Sunday

by Anthony Baker | September 17, 2013 · 4:30 am

Happy Birthday to Me!

Horn, be thou tooted!

Yes, it is my birthday. Gifts of all denominations (that means money, not Methodists) will be accepted. You can also send watches, old books, Martin guitars, Jaguars, Mustangs, autographed pictures of Ronald Reagan and Zoey Deschanel, and/or iPads.

Really, I am happy to be 46 years old, which is four years shy of half a century. Some people are older than me, but a lot are younger – many of which are stupid. Did I just say that? Yes, I did. It’s because I’m getting older and old people can say what they want.

Facing Mortality

In all seriousness, today is a day which I have been fearing for the last 22 years. When I was 24 my father died (coincidentally, he was 24 when his dad died). He was 46 years old. Now, on this momentous day, I am as old as he was when he went home to be with the Lord. Sobering, isn’t it?

My dad.

Even though it is sobering, if not a little depressing, the though of being as old as my dad was when he died has caused me to reflect on my life. It has also caused me to think more about my wife and children who, if they had been like me 22 years ago, would only have me around six months longer.

If I die this year – and I hope I don’t, believe me! – at least my wife and kids will have insurance money, a collection of recordings of me preaching and singing, and a lot of written words. However, they won’t have ME.

That is why I don’t drive as recklessly.

That is why I am thinking more about my diet.

That is why I am beginning to work out.

That is why my journal entries are becoming more pensive, thankful, and less gripey.

That is why I am trying to make sure I live the way I want to be remembered.

More than ever, I want to finish well.

11 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Life Lessons, Parenting, Relationships and Family

Tagged as Birthday, Family, History, IPad, Ronald Reagan

by Anthony Baker | September 1, 2013 · 9:00 am

Your Strength Is Your Enemy

Proverbial Sermon

If you don’t go to church anywhere, you could listen to an edited message of mine that will air on local radio this evening (Sundays at 5 pm on WFLI, AM 1070).

I recently was impressed by a post that Chris Jordan did for Proverbial Thought (one of my other blogs); it really convicted me of my need to be stronger in the face of adversity. Chris commented on Proverbs 24:10, which says: “If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.”

The next day, however, when I followed Chris’ post by commenting on Proverbs 24:11-12, I found a nugget of gold that was not lying on the surface; it had to be dug out of the mine. That little nugget became the basis for this sermon.

If you have a few minutes, take a listen. What you hear might just encourage you.

Small Strength (proverbialthought.com)

5 Comments

Filed under blogging, Christian Living, Preaching, Theology

Tagged as Christianity, Literature, preaching, Proverbs and Sayings

by Anthony Baker | August 5, 2013 · 11:01 am

A Thought for Monday

Today is Monday, but you’ve probably figured that out, haven’t you?

Coffee always helps.

How did you wake up? Was it with a sense of dread? Instead of turning off the alarm clock that woke you up, did you strike it like a mosquito that had been buzzing around your head for an hour?

I don’t like Mondays any more than you. As a matter of fact, Mondays are pretty rough. Mondays should be my day off, but I am what they call a bivocational pastor; therefore, my alarm clock feels like a mosquito, too.

However, the Psalmist (David) says…

This [is] the day [which] the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. – Psalm 118:24

Today…this Monday…every Monday…this is the day which the Lord has made. As a matter of fact, He has made every day. So, what will we do? Will we bemoan the blessing of waking up? Will we cry “foul” even before we enter the game? Will we start the day with the expectation that Monday will be like every other Monday?

This day was made by God. He knows what He is doing. Nothing will come our way that God is not already planning to use for our good – for those who love Him.

Today you may face a storm that leaves you feeling abandoned by God. You may feel like the disciples who were out on the Sea of Galilee all night fighting winds and waves. You may think that your Savior has forgotten you. Just remember that even in the worst storm, on the worst day, Jesus knows where you are. When the time is right you might even get an invitation to surf the waves of adversity (Matthew 14:27).

So, rejoice! Be glad! Seize the day! It’s been custom-made for you!

10 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, current events, Faith, God, Life Lessons, worship

Tagged as alarm clock, alarmclock, faith, Gospel of Matthew, hope, Monday, mosquito, Psalm, psalm 118, sea of galilee

by Anthony Baker | July 31, 2013 · 11:27 am

Thoughts from the Beach (Part 1)

Vacation

Last week my wife and kids and I went to visit our daughter, Alicia, and her husband, Josh, in Charleston, South Carolina. Josh is in the Air Force and stationed in Charleston, so we stayed with them in their new house instead of a hotel.

We didn’t have a lot of money to spend, so we went sight-seeing in the historic district along the harbor, admiring all the old houses, sail boats, and numerous items for sail in the old market that stretched for blocks. If we had been wealthy, there were plenty of things we could have bought, especially the hand-made grass baskets that were sold all over the place.

Isle of Palms was only about a 45 minute drive from where we were staying, so another thing we did that was inexpensive was go to the beach. Playing in the sand, walking along the shore, and even splashing in the water (if one dares) is free.

Thinking

One day while visiting the beach I walked out into the water and just stood there…thinking…imagining. What I should have been doing was getting some sun on my pale, suburban skin, but this day thinking was enough. What I thought about is what I want to share with you today and tomorrow.

Sinking

Notice in the picture how that my lily-white legs are in the water, not on top. My feet are even sinking into the sand as the waves churn the current around me. What I am not doing is walking on the water.

One of the things I thought about while standing there was how cool it would have been to be like Jesus and Peter and walk on the water. It would have been so fun to just run out onto the swelling waves and ride them up and down instead of falling into them and fighting to survive. It would have been cool to stand on top of the water and not worry about what was underneath wanting to eat my toes. Yet, I was sinking, not walking.

Riding Waves

Looking at the waves got me to thinking about the story of Jesus and Peter in the book of Matthew…

Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!” But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here! ” Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” – Matthew 14:24-31 NLT

Have you ever seen paintings depicting this event? I don’t think any that I have seen portrayed a true representation of what went on. Most show Jesus walking on water with no more than a few ripples on the surface. The Bible says the disciples were “terrified” because of the wind and waves (not to mention a man walking on them). What kind of seasoned fishermen would have been terrified of rippled water?

As I stood looking out at the waves I could imagine that the water the disciples were being tossed around in was heaving the boat up and down like a roller coaster. And when they saw Jesus walking toward them, where would He have been but on top of the waves? There would have been no flat, level, walking-water anywhere in sight!

Fun with Jesus

When Peter realized that Jesus was the one out their riding the waves instead of fearing them, I can’t help but think that Peter must have thought, “Dadgum! That looks like fun!” Sure walking on water when it is calm would have been cool, but calm water doesn’t possess strong winds and dangerous waves. Peter must have seen Jesus looking like a surfer in a robe without a surfboard and wanted to share in the experience. I mean, if you’ve got to go through a storm, why not ride the waves?

Do you understand the implications of what I am saying? We all face crushing storms with high winds and killer waves, but having faith in Jesus can change one’s whole perspective.

Instead of letting the fear of sinking take your breath away, step out in faith and ride the swells!

Walking (on water) with Jesus (makingsenseofthis.wordpress.com)

3 Comments

Filed under Faith, places, Relationships and Family

Tagged as difficulties, faith, Gospel of Matthew, Jesus' walk on water, Peter, Religion and Spirituality

by Anthony Baker | July 9, 2013 · 5:26 pm

Another Marriage Prerequisite

Weddings

I do weddings.

But let me be honest, weddings aren’t always fun, and they are most certainly never easy. I do weddings, but I don’t always want to.

Why don’t I want to do weddings every time I am asked? Because so many know so little about what marriage is, where it came from, what it means, or what it will take to make it work. For crying out loud, most people that say they want to get married don’t even know the person to whom they are about to commit.

I do weddings, yes, but I require pre-marital counseling. Period.

Counseling

I have several things that I require a couple to go through before I will consent to marry them. Aside from the basic questions that must be asked, a while back I decided to require anyone I marry to watch 2 movies:

Fireproof
Courageous

You see, I figure it this way – if you really want to get married, then you should be able to watch a couple of movies and then talk about them. If you can’t do that, or if you’re just too rushed, then you don’t need to get married; you are already starting off on the wrong foot.

Additional Requirement

Now I have a new requirement. On top of Fireproof and Courageous, I have another video to watch before anyone hears, “I now pronounce you man and wife.” My daughter recently showed me a video she watched at camp. The first time I watched it I cried. I was forced to admit I have not been the godly husband I need to be.

I have been preaching through the book of Ephesians on Sunday nights. This past Sunday night we came to the part in chapter five that deals with “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord,” and “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church…” (Eph. 5:22, 25). It is a touchy section in this day and age, but it shouldn’t be, at least not with those who understand the meaning of marriage and the “mystery” of the church (Eph. 5:32). Too many come to the “submit” part and stop. They fail to understand that “submission” in marriage goes both ways; that marriage is to be a reflection of Christ and the church; and that the wife’s “submission” and husband’s “love” are supposed to work in conjunction.

However you want to argue it, though, if the husband would love his wife like Jesus loved us, then there would be a lot more happy wives out there, not to mention healthy families and lasting marriages.

What we need, ladies and gentlemen, is a “Crucifixion Type Love.“

Watch the video.

3 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, Defining Marriage, Divorce, Life Lessons, Relationships and Family

Tagged as Courageous, Epistle to the Ephesians, Fireproof, husband, Marriage, pre marital counseling, Religion, Wife

by Anthony Baker | July 5, 2013 · 8:15 pm

He Forgave. So Can We.

1N3

Not long ago I had the chance to go to an outdoor music festival in Chattanooga. It was there at JFest that I met an incredible couple, Tiki and Tom Finlayson, with a powerful story to tell.

You see…

On July 31, 2011, a young man was hit head on by a drunk driver. On July 1 Kevin “Sunshine” Yates died from the injuries he received in the crash. The tragic loss of a son could have driven his parents crazy, but instead of living with hate and bitterness, they decided to do something radical – the decided to forgive.

I would encourage you to go check out the website for 1N3, the ministry that Kevin’s mother and brother (Derek Yates) founded to increase awareness of the tragedy of drunk driving. There you can read the whole story of what happened, about Kevin, and about the lives that have been saved through organ donation. But for now, I would just like to share with you what Tom, Kevin’s dad, told me as we stood looking at the van Kevin was driving.

“Who Am I…?”

I know people who have a hard time forgiving others for wrongs done. Others I know have a hard time getting past the death of a loved one; always grieving, always mourning the loss. The Yates and Finlaysons are not that way. All it takes is one look at the smiles on their faces to see that hope and love have drowned hate and bitterness.

Tiki Finlayson and me. They carry the van around to show what happens when people drive intoxicated. The picture is of Kevin Yates, her son.

As we stood there talking, Tom Finlayson told me how that they had truly forgiven the lady that had hit Kevin. As a matter of fact, they have reached out to help her. Believe it or not, she is even scheduled to help in their ministry upon her release from prison.

Tom Finlayson telling the story.

Tom told me, “You know, we’re all murderers…we are all responsible for the death of God’s Son, Jesus…we killed Him…and if God can forgive me for killing his Son, then who am I not to forgive her?”

What more is there to say?

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32

3 Comments

Filed under Alcohol, Christian Maturity, Life Lessons, Relationships and Family

Tagged as Christianity, death of a loved one, depression, forgiveness, forgiving others, Health, Jesus

by Anthony Baker | June 25, 2013 · 1:29 am

Objective Reality

Resumé Review

Recently, after having to look at other people’s resumés, I thought it would be a good idea to review my own. Even though I am not actively seeking another pastorate, information does change from time to time. So, after a quick glance, I noticed some areas needed tweaking.

For example, I earned my Masters, so that needed to be added. Also, puppets are no longer considered valid references, so Mr. Monkey’s name had to be deleted.

However, one part of my resumé did not need changing. When I read the “Ministry Objectives” section, my heart was convicted. Were my objectives being met? What am I doing to reach them?

Ministry Objectives

Some people take a sentence or two, or even a paragraph, to describe their ministry objectives. I decided to divide mine into five points and put them right up front for everyone, including myself, to read.

My desire is…

I. To bring glory to the name of Jesus Christ in all that I do (Ps 19:14) and go through (1Pet 1:7).

II. To “give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine” (1 Tim 4:13) and “to prayer, and to the ministry of the word” (Acts 6:4).

III. To be known as a humble and consistent husband and father whose household serves the Lord (Josh 24:15; 1 Cor 15:58); a forgiven sinner who understands grace (1 Tim 1:15); and a fearless soldier of the Cross (Mark 8:34) who never compromises the truth (1 Tim 4:16).

IV. To affect future generations yet to come as children are grounded, parents become responsible, singles are emboldened, and the aged get a second wind (Josh 4:21-24; Pro 22:6).

V. To promote the preaching and teaching of the Gospel in every part of the world (Acts 1:8).

Dear Heavenly Father, make them more than objectives… make them reality.

Still At It (therecoveringlegalist.com)

7 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, ministry, Preaching

Tagged as Gospel, Ministry, ministry objectives, Monkey, objectives, reality, Resume, soldier of the cross, valid references, Work

by Anthony Baker | June 18, 2013 · 12:11 am

19th on the 18th

Our Anniversary!

Last year I wrote a post celebrating 18 years of marriage to the most beautiful woman in the world, my wife. Now that another year has come and gone, I thought it would be appropriate to celebrate again. I’m so glad Valerie and I are still together, which is a blessing and a miracle. I don’t deserve such a gift.

Valerie has asked me several times in the past, “If you could do it over again, would you still marry me?” To be honest, there were times when answering that question was difficult, especially back around 1999-2001. During those days I was going through the lowest time of my life, but she stood by me.

If Valerie was to ask me that question today, however, the answer would be a resounding “YES!”

It takes time!

So many people get divorced after a few years of marriage, never staying in it long enough to work through the hard times. In doing so, they miss out on the treasures that years of faithfulness bring. Because they give up too early, they uproot seeds before they have time to germinate, never being able to experience the fruit of a life-long relationship taking root.

The past year has brought with it many heartaches and sorrows. Valerie has had to endure much physical pain which has tested our faith and pushed us to the limits; the loss of income has been terribly stressful; and crisis after crisis has taken an emotional toll on us all. Yet, after 19 years we are more in love, more in faith, and more in God’s will than ever before. How is that possible? “It’s not by power, nor by might, but by my Spirit,” says the Lord.