Tag Archives: Parenting

by Anthony Baker | August 18, 2014 · 8:07 pm

The Arrow Is Launched (My Daughter Is Going to College)

As a Parent

As a parent, it is very difficult to let my daughter go off to college.

Frankly, it feels like my heart is being ripped out, much like the first time my heart was broken by a girlfriend when she left me. It’s a painful feeling of loss, something that can never be cured, fixed, or done over.

Katie is my firstborn daughter. I was there at her birth…changed one of her first diapers…rushed her to the hospital when she was sick…threw a dog (Spot) across a room when he bit her…cried when she got injections…rejoiced when she accepted Christ…cheered her teams to victory and protested in defeat…cried again when I had to discipline her…listened with amazement at the first song she wrote…felt like a rock star when I played with her on stage…felt like an un-spiritual pagan when she spoke of her walk with God…bristled with anger when she got a boyfriend…and said, “That’s my girl” when she intimidated her own youth director at church.

Now, she’s grown up. There’s no more time. She’s leaving. My heart is breaking like never before. The pain is real.

As a Christian Parent

I once posted a comment on Facebook about my feelings. But the things people kept telling me had the same general theme: “She will be fine.”

Let me set the record straight. I KNOW she will be fine. I KNOW she will be OK. You don’t have to tell me that someone will be there at college to look after her, because I know darn well she can take care of herself! I am not worried in the least about her safety, her relationships, what she may or may not get into, or anything like that. She WILL be fine because she is prepared and God is with her. I am not going to worry. My problem is simply the fact that she is leaving.

But you know, that’s what children are supposed to do, right? They are supposed to leave, to get out of the nest, etc. What kind of parents would her mother and I be if we never prepared her to be a God-fearing adult? She was an arrow in my quiver, and now’s the time to let her fly.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. – Psalms 127:4-5 NKJV

As an Archer

Fellow parents, let me tell you exactly why I am not worried about my daughter, Katie. First, when she was just a baby, I dedicated her to the Lord. I covenanted with my wife to raise her in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord.” To the best of our ability, we have done just that.

Secondly, we have done with her as a warrior does with his arrows. We kept her safe and protected, just as the arrow is protected in the quiver. Just as the warrior makes sure the flights on his arrow are straight, we made sure she learned the Truth (John 14:6) so that she could navigate through the winds of life toward her specific target. Like the shaft of the arrow, we trained and molded her character. And like the all-important arrowhead, we made sure Katie was as sharp as possible, as effective as could be, to make her mark on whatever target was propped in front of her.

No, I am not worried; I am painfully proud. I have prepared a weapon for God’s glory, one that is now leaving the bow in flight toward her God-given goal. I have done all I can do, including aim her in the right direction. Now that she is on her way, I have complete confidence she will stay on course.

Train up a child in the way [she] should go: and when [she] is old, [she] will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6

Confront the “enemies in the gate,” Katie! Victory is yours!

3 Comments

Filed under Christian Maturity, Homeschool, Parenting, Relationships and Family

Tagged as children, college, empty nest, pain and loss, Parenting, parents

by Anthony Baker | August 16, 2014 · 9:36 pm

Up-coming Posts

For several weeks my brain, or at least the part that initiates writing, has been numb. I have been wanting to sit down and write about things that interest, concern, or humor me, but life has had a Novocaine-kind of effect. All I’ve been able to do is look at my computer and then say as shake my head, “I’m too tired.”

There are, however, a couple of things about which I want to write, especially within the next couple of days. One has to do with my daughter going off to college. Another has to do with going to church on Sunday nights. On top of that, I am working on finishing another book I’ve been working on: a shorter, mostly humorous collection of thoughts from driving a school bus.

I did recently write about Robin Williams. I would like to share a few more thoughts regarding depression, suicide, etc.

By the way, just the other day a young lady – a teacher – came up to me and personally thanked me for the first volume of Proverbial Thought. She said it made a big impact on her life and drew her closer to God. Seriously, now THAT’S a compliment.

Please, friends, try to go to church somewhere this Sunday morning (if it’s not already Sunday morning where you are). And, if possible, go somewhere to church in the evening.

Until my brain gets a little more feeling back, may God be with you all!

Oh, and please pray for those being killed because of their faith, looted because of race, and sold because of their gender.

Forsake Foolishness, Or Else

A Lost Post

It has been a while since I last wrote a new post for ProverbialThought.com, but in the process of re-posting entries I found that Proverbs 9:6 had never been addressed! Not only was it not published on the blog, but it never made the book! (Click HERE to purchase) That’s terribly embarrassing, especially since all of the editing that has been done. How did we miss it?

Therefore, this is a web exclusive!

Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding. – Proverbs 9:6

Forsaking

The first word in this verse is an imperative: forsake. It’s not a word that suggests temporarily turning away, but abandonment. To forsake something is like saying “to heck with you,” turning on one’s heels, walking out the door, slamming it, going to the airport, buying a plane ticket, arriving at the destination, then burning one’s passport.

Why are simple words hard to understand?

Foolish

If you have been reading Proverbs at all, even the least bit, you should be aware of what foolishness is. Foolishness is man’s wisdom, not God’s. Foolishness is acting stupidly, even when you know there is a better way. Foolishness is rebellion, selfishness, seeking one’s own way, and never caring where the road leads, just as long as the trip is fun.

The “foolish” we’re commanded to forsake could be a combination of things. The “foolish” could be people, ideas, actions, philosophies, worldviews, attitudes, etc. There are foolish friends, foolish plans, foolish job opportunities, foolish desires, and foolish dreams – all of which lead down a bad road.

Forsake the foolish, and you might survive; don’t, and you’re in trouble.

The Way

The “way of understanding” can be interpreted as the “right” way, or even the way on which wisdom has already walked. It is the way in which people walk who walk in wisdom, seek wisdom, and love wisdom.

When we walk in the “way of understanding” we consider the consequences of each step and the direction we are going. The direction is a 180 away from foolishness.

Living

But why is it that so many are more likely to hold on to the “foolish” rather than travel in the way of understanding? Instead of walking out the door and leaving the old ways behind, why is it that so many are more apt to slam the door from the inside, lock it, and turn up the music? The reason is based on one’s understanding of “living.”

One beer company is famous for touting the “high life.” Another shows people partying away the night saying, “It doesn’t get any better than this.” Everything from hotels to video game systems have encouraged consumers by promising, “This is living!”

Funny. Even kind of ironic, I must say. It’s hard to go down any path when you’ve locked yourself inside with computer game.

Timely?

Yes, this post is technically 2 years late. On the other hand, God knew exactly who would be writing it and what would be going on. As my daughter Katie looked over my shoulder and read the proverb about which I was to write, she said, “Well, that’s timely…”

This week we’ve dealt with foolishness, the foolish, and an unwillingness to forsake it. I have personally witnessed a close family member, blinded by a lack of wisdom, detail a specific plan for destruction. I’ve even faced down a foolish physical threat. Foolishness…simply foolishness.

There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. – Proverbs 16:25

Forsake foolishness and live, or shut the door and die. The way is up to you.

Sexy Selfies

Dear, dear friends, subscribers, groupies, stalkers, and trolls… (by the way, I hate all the links that WordPress is randomly adding to the text!)

Today I read a blog post I just had to share. It dovetails so nicely with an older post of mine about “Prostitots.”

“Why Christian Girls Post Seductive Selfies“

By: Kristen Clark

Photo credit: www.flickr.com | Shandi Lee (as found on Girl Defined)

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com | Shandi Lee (as found on Girl Defined)

2 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Christian Maturity, clothing, Culture Wars, General Observations, Guest Posts, Parenting

Tagged as Beauty, Chritianity, Parenting, seduction, selfies, sexy

by Anthony Baker | June 15, 2014 · 6:00 am

Ten Ways to Fail As a Father

Happy Father’s Day!

Lord willing, my sermon for Father’s Day will be from the book of Joshua…

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD. – Joshua 24:15 KJV

There is a portrait of my family hanging in our living room with the above verse written below it. There is a lot to be said about a father who will say those words. There’s a lot to be said about a father who won’t.

Tuff Stuff

I don’t want to spend a lot of time writing a lengthy post, but I do want to leave you with a list I found in a sermon by a Wesleyan pastor, Bruce Howell. I don’t know if he came up with it or if he found it somewhere else. All I know is that it is convicting.

There will be a lot of people talking about how to be a better dad, but if you want to know how to fail, here are 10 sure-fire ways to screw up.

Ten Ways to Fail As a Father

1. Have fights in front of your children. Then when guests come, turn around and act affectionate toward one another.
2. Stifle your children’squestions by saying, “Don’t bother me now; I’m busy.”
3. Take no interest in your children’s friends. Let them run around with whomever they choose.
4. Never discipline your children; try to use psychology instead.
5. Nag them about their schoolwork; never compliment them on their achievements.
6. Demonstrate your love for them with material things. Give them everything their little hearts desire.
7. Never discuss the facts of life with them. Instead, let them learn about sex from their friends, public school, or pornographic literature.
8. Set a bad example so the children will not want to grow up to be like you.
9. Absolutely refuse to believe it if you are told that your children have done something wrong.
10. Let your children make their own choices in the matter of religion. Be careful not to influence them in any way.

Help us, Father God, to be more like you.

Thursday Thoughts (Daughters and Gender Identity)

It is February 13, the day after the big snow, and I’m ready to share some thoughts. I have a headache after eating Italian food (pasta fagioli) and discussing boyfriends and boundaries with one of my daughters, so I won’t make this too deep. Too much thinking could cause an aneurysm.

Birthdays and age. Yesterday was my wife’s birthday, but I can’t tell you how old she is, either. Why is that? Why can’t women reveal their age? There are women who look really old, yet they’re only in their 20’s or 30’s. On the other hand, there are those like Christie Brinkley. Have you seen her? She’s 60 and still looks like she did in the Vacation movie, which is better than we can say for Chevy Chase! But my wife looks better than Brinkley in a red Ferrari, so what’s wrong with telling her age?
Teenage daughters. I have ’em. I deserve an award.
Defenders. Real men defend their daughters. Real dads don’t care about what the world says regarding dating and relationships – they consider all boys to be predators. You see, my daughters have boundaries, boundaries they have chosen to put in place. If I see any of those boundaries being challenged, I am likely to react in a way most disagreeable. I will defend those boundaries, even if my daughters momentarily forget where they were drawn.
Respect. I have the utmost respect for a young man who respects my daughter – and her boundaries. Smart boy.
Bluffing. We all have read those cute little lists like, “Rules for Dating My Daughter.” The only problem is that most girls (and their boyfriends) think their dads are bluffing. The somewhat over-the-top threats and ridiculous rules in these lists tend to contribute the sense of disbelief. However, some dads don’t bluff when it comes to their daughters. The only way to find out which ones are bluffing, and which ones are not, is to cross that line.
Gender identity options. In a recent move to accommodate all the sexual perversion in the world, Facebook created a whole new list of options for those who struggle with deciding what boxes to check. Gone are the simple “male” and “female” options to list on one’s wall. Now you have options ranging from “transgender” to “fluid.” Facebook said, “We want you to feel comfortable being your true, authentic self.”
Your true, authentic self. How do you figure out what your “true, authentic self” is? I have a suggestion or two, maybe three. First, check to see what parts of the human anatomy you do or do not have. Second, what part of the baby-making process are you most likely to be responsible for. Third, have you watched Pride and Prejudice more than once? If you check the box marked “fluid,” you’re simply an authentic pervert.

Have a great weekend, my friends, and don’t forget to go to church! Not only might you find yourself getting blessed, but you could be a blessing to others, as well.

2 Comments

Filed under Culture Wars, current events, General Observations, Parenting, Relationships and Family

Tagged as birthdays, boundaries, Christie Brinkley, dating, gender, Parenting

by Anthony Baker | October 29, 2013 · 11:09 pm

The Non-Boyfriend Boy Friend

Girls

Here I am, 46 years into my trip toward room temperature, and I am still having to deal with girls’ emotions. I have been coming to terms with not understanding women, or at least knowing when to stay away when they feel like expressing their intelligence. And nearly 20 years of marriage has conditioned me for another 20 years of “whatever’s” and “yes dears.” So why now, after I have paid my dues, must I once again deal with teenage girls?

My dating years were not the best of years. My self esteem was irreparably scarred by the time one of my first dates asked me to drop her off early…in a parking lot…alone. Girls were like a fire to which I was drawn, and I was the helpless bug continually getting squashed. Therefore, since I am convinced teenage girls are hosts to alien invaders, why must I be forced to give aid and comfort to the enemy of mankind?

If I had to guess, part of the curse of the Fall was having to raise teenage girls. You can’t live with them, and you can’t ______ (you fill in the blank – I’m not going to incriminate myself) their boyfriends.

Boyfriends

I was once a boyfriend, and I hated myself for it. That is why I think it is my responsibility to guide other young men away from my daughters. Being a boyfriend is the last thing they should want to be. Staying away is best thing they can do.

However, what I find troubling is the attempt my daughter is making to fool me. She insists that her friend, a boy, is not a boyfriend. Yet, whenever a letter comes in the mail (in between the 42,584 texts), she grins and squeals as she reads it over and over. She invites him over to bake for him on his birthday and have pictures made together with their cheeks touching each other’s goofy faces. Believe, where there is chocolate, followed by physical contact of any kind, I am not fooled.

Between the Lines

So, tonight I made a comment that got Katie asking me all kinds of questions. In casual conversation, my so-far-alien-free daughter, Haley, asked, “When Katie and ____ (insert name or expletive, doesn’t matter) get married…” Excuse me?

That’s when I interrupted with, “She is not gonna marry _____.”

My single, unmarried, unspoken-for, and alien-inhabited daughter, Katie.

Later, when I was sitting at the computer, Katie came to kiss me goodnight and asked, “Why did you say I couldn’t marry ______ (insert name of endangered species)?”

Correct me if I am wrong, but was I not told that the non-boyfriend was just a friend? Then why would my statement about who she’s not going to marry be an issue? If my dad had told me I wasn’t going to marry my friend Kevin, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings one bit. So what’s the deal with endangered boy and daydreamer?

If she marries he-who-walks-on-thin-ice, then I’ll be forced to like him. Until then, what’s wrong with simply protecting a non-boyfriend from a danger he can’t understand? Who knows? If I spare him from being abducted by an alien, I might be the best friend the non-boyfriend boy friend could ever have.

He will thank me, later.

1 Comment

Filed under Defending Traditional Marriage, Defining Marriage, Future, Life Lessons, Parenting, Relationships and Family, wisdom

Tagged as Boyfriend, dating, Family, fathers, Girl, Marriage, Parenting

by Anthony Baker | August 13, 2013 · 11:16 pm

Bathroom Battle Plan?

Times A’Chang’n

Did you hear about the new law in California? Governor Jerry Brown signed AB1266 into law and made California the first state (?) in the country to allow children to decide which restroom, locker room, or shower room they want to use – regardless of gender.

Yes, if little Billy feels like he wants to be a little Sally, he can decide to use the girls’ showers after he plays on the Lady Lion’s volley ball team. If little Suzie wants to be a little Bobby, she can squat at a urinal along side the other “guys.” It’s all up to how the child in question views his or her (or whatever fits the mood) self.

Things NOT Changing

My girls have always been taught to watch out for perverts and predators. In any other situation, if a boy were to enter a place where girls were indecent he would get arrested. My girls would never scream at a man on the street, even if he was dressed as a woman. However, if that man were to walk into the bathroom, they’d scream their heads off. Unfortunately, in today’s climate that would be considered discrimination. As a matter of fact, San Fransisco Assemblyman Tony Ammiano’s office issued a statement that read, “Discomfort is not an excuse for discrimination.”

Go ahead, boys, walk into her bathroom and you’ll learn what “extreme prejudice” really means.

Well, even though the laws might be changing, what I teach my daughters won’t: boys are boys and girls are girls. If a boy walks into a locker room or shower when my girls are there, they have the right, if not obligation, to save the boy the expense of a sex-change operation.

And here is something else, boys of all ages and shades of makeup. If…IF you decide to enter my daughters’ locker room while they are exposed, and IF they don’t permanently deprive you of the ability to reproduce, I WILL! I don’t care if you think you are a girl, or not. I WILL discriminate, and I WILL make you VERY uncomfortable.

NOTE: Save the hate mail. I’m not even going to allow it. It’s my blog, my daughters, and I’m not going to stand for this ungodly lunacy.

Cal. gov. signs bill allowing ‘transgender’ students to use opposite sex bathrooms, locker rooms (lifesitenews.com)
Parents Outraged Over Transgender Bathroom Law (radio.foxnews.com)
Calif. Governor Signs Transgender Bathroom Bill (radio.foxnews.com)
Gender-inclusive restroom signs fight for transgender citizens’ rights (mydoorsign.com)

13 Comments

Filed under Culture Wars, General Observations

Tagged as California, Changing room, Children Youth and Family, Family, Jerry Brown, Parenting

by Anthony Baker | May 12, 2013 · 12:21 am

Happy Mother’s Day

My Mother

It may come as a shock to all of you, but I do have a mother. Yes, there is a woman who claims responsibility for allowing me to come into the world.

My mother’s name is Marie. I won’t tell you how old she is, but she’s older than me. She is also not in the best of health, so your prayers would be appreciated.

My mother worked in the blood bank and lab at Erlanger Hospital for 46 years until she retired. She started working there when blood was still in black and white, long before most of the modern staff was even born. She went to college for four years to learn how to do a job that few today can do without computers.

My mother is also a godly woman who has read through her Bible countless times, verse by verse, circling the number each time. She is also the widow of a godly man who loved her. She never remarried.

Mother’s Day Song

There are a lot of songs celebrating Christmas, but few celebrating mothers. Therefore, last year I decided to write my own song for Mother’s Day.

I hope it brings honor to the woman who birthed me, beat me with a belt, and bears me up with her prayers. If you like it, sing it to your mother or grandmother. Even if they don’t like it, they will say they do – that’s what mothers do.

3 Comments

Filed under Christian Living, Parenting, Relationships and Family, Uncategorized

Tagged as Bible, Blood bank, Family, Mother, Mothers Day, Parenting

by Anthony Baker | May 10, 2013 · 4:00 am

Childhood Wisdom?

Listen to the Children

I will never forget a commercial I saw on television. It was a long time ago, and I still get irritated. The main line that was repeated over and over was, “Listen to the children.”

Oh, it was one of those environmental, tree-hugging commercials that had little kids instructing adults how to live their lives. One little girl would say something like, “Don’t make me starve,” while another little boy would go on about how eating at McDonald’s would ruin the earth’s water supply – or something like that.

Anyway, every time a toddler would voice her scripted opinion a deep, male voice would echo in response, “Listen…to the children.” Yes, adults should listen to a 5-year-old because of her years of accumulated wisdom untainted by experience.

What Do they Say?

If we to listen to the little crumbcrunchers long enough, we will hear things like:

“I don’t want to eat that, Mommy! I want cake!” Listen…to the children.
“I don’t want to take bath!” Listen…to the children.
“If I was president, I would make everybody happy and would never have school and make parents buy every kid a unicorn and never have to go to bed and make the world like warm all the time with snow all year.” Listen…to the children.
“O – ba – ma! O – ba – ma!” Listen…to the children echo their teachers.

AND did you know that children have figured out the whole gender (man/woman) thing? Believe it or not, according to the kids on my school bus, girls are smart, but boys are stupid. Here’s how they describe the difference:

Girls go to college to get more knowledge.

Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.

Girls go to college, but boys go to Jupiter. Hmmm…may we ponder that for a moment?

What type of intelligence was required to put man on the moon?
What type of brain power was needed to land an un-manned rover on Mars?
What kind of genius will it require to send man four times the distance to the sun in order to view up-close the deadly storms of Jupiter?
Stupid boys can go to Jupiter while girls are still fighting over who should be sorority president – and who’s stupider?

Train ‘Em

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I gather from this verse that it is therefore the responsibility of the older, wiser, more responsible parent to teach the child.

They should listen to us. But what are we teaching?