by | May 28, 2016 · 6:30 am

Reducing Relationship

I am honored to add my post here as a guest. ~madblog

Somebody didn’t get the “around 5-600 words” memo. But that’s OK, I suppose. I’m just happy madblog’s got a healthy marriage and a husband who’ll do the dishes. 😉 – Anthony Baker

Our Marriage

I have a husband who won’t let me get near the dishes lately. There are always a lot of dishes here, a lot, always. His reasons are clearly excuses.

In 31 years, we have not had Fight One over who works harder, whether he should help with the housework, or whose job it is to iron his clothes, mow the lawn or put the kids to bed. But it’s certainly not because we’re above such things.

We don’t do 50/50 here.

Did other people speak wedding vows which assigned domestic duties, and which spouse was going to be the primary breadwinner? Because to hear some people complain about the sorry thing called marriage, you would think that in their vows, they promised to model Ozzie and Harriet in their suburban 1950’s home. And they don’t want to, so away with marriage, that obsolete patriarchal engine of oppression.

We didn’t sign a contract outlining household duties or role requirements when we got married. We didn’t confuse our wedding vows with societal expectations or TV sitcoms.

Our Vows

What did we vow?

“Will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?”

“In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.”

What we vowed may have been a slight variation on these words, I don’t remember. We knew what we were promising.

Notice that we both vowed the same things. There wasn’t the Housewife Version and the King of the Castle Version.

You’ll also notice that these vows are not limiting, but rather open-ended, except as to duration–until death. We were promising to love, to comfort, to be faithful. We were not promising the nuts and bolts, the how we would achieve these abstract states of existence. We were promising to live the rest of our lives committed to and committing to one relationship.

A relationship has the potential to grow and expand, and to build toward almost infinite intimacy. To live under a contract would reduce our love to a pre-ordained set of boundaries.

On another front…

During my tenure as a parent, I’ve been advised by persons who are over The Age of Eighteen, that I ought not to tell adults what to do. All the advice-granters in the world would tell me to say: OK, you’re an adult now, so I’m not allowed to tell you what to do. In return, I give up caring whether you get yourself up for church, school or work. It’s your business and I’m not going to help you anymore. You’re not my responsibility.

There is certainly truth in there. My role as a Mom changes as my child matures and I do have to increasingly step back and let him make decisions, and let him live with the way those decisions play out. I’m fine with Mr. Experience teaching her the responsibilities of adulthood. And I’m not above feeling a tiny bit of pleasure when an “I told you so” would be a legally appropriate thing to say.

Relationships, Not Contracts

But relationships are not contracts. A contract spells out what I am, and am not, responsible for. Beyond the requirements of a contract one does not go. A contract limits my actions.

When we had a young teenager who was self-willed and apparently in danger of going off the rails, the going advice was to put the relationship under contract. This is what’s expected of you, Teenager. And if you commit these crimes, here is a handy list of the corresponding consequences. Now you know what to expect.

It was an invitation not to be resisted. And because our children are creative people, it was unresisted very creatively. There was no instance in which he/she committed Offense X and therefore was liable for Consequence X. It was never that simple.

Because they don’t just want to do X and get away with it; the goal is to confound your attempts to be the authority in the first place. They want to mess with you. It’s all about the relationship, and the rebellious child knows that better than you do.

Contracts and legal agreements reduce a relationship to that which is spelled out therein. Do we really want our family relationships lived via contractual agreement?

Relationships are not contractually binding; relationships supersede contracts. My behavior toward those I love aren’t limited by the letter of the law. Or so says The Author of Relationships:

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” – Romans 12:10

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” – John 15:12-13

“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.” – Romans 12:8

“We love him, because he first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8.

Relationships with human beings are infinitely more binding than legal agreements. We are accountable to love one another. To act on their behalf toward their good, even and especially when they aren’t able to appreciate the help, even and especially when we don’t think we have the strength to do it, even and especially when we feel like doing the opposite.

According to J.Budziszewski, “Love is a commitment of the will to the true good of the other person.”

I want to relate to people in my life according to love and grace, not according to a reductive contractual agreement. At times, I must borrow heavily from an inexhaustible Source to fulfill my part.

I give the Adult a wake-up call because I know he has trouble hearing his alarm, on the morning after receiving the caution not to tell the Adult he should go to bed. Or go pick her up when she didn’t plan for the ride home. Overlook irritating and irritated talk. Dive in to thankless tasks. Really act as though the person is truly loved, and you couldn’t live without her, because it’s true.

Unnecessary Debate

And isn’t the debate over complementarian (no, it’s not in my spellcheck vocabulary either) vs. egalitarian marriage really a hyper-focus on this very thing? They can’t get their eyes off of that simplistically reductive 50/50.

The change agents are so proud of their enlightened egalitarian marriages. They’ve given us something new, something never seen before in the long millennia of human history: men and women, equal in marriage! Hey, congrats and thanks, guys!

I do hate to tell them that the Bible had this one a long time ago:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” – Ephesians 5:21.

And specifically on marriage:

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” – 1 Peter 3:7

“Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” – 1 Corinthians 7:2-5

Settle what job is whose, for goodness sake, and move on!

A Final Thought

Of course when you have just now thrown away: what women are, what men are, and what you are; and you confuse Ward and June Clever with millennia-old Scriptural teaching, it makes for a little tiny bit of confusion. If you’re going to set out to right societal wrongs, it would be best to get an understanding of the issue all the way down to its foundations.

My husband does the dishes lately without explanation. He fends me off and tells me to go relax. After working all day and then chauffeuring for awhile, then going to a meeting, after working on his own writing, before going to bed much too late and getting up much too early.

It’s not because he’s invented a brand new kind of marriage. It’s not because he’s heard on Christian radio that husbands doing housework get rewarded in the bedroom. He has nothing to prove and no secret agenda. He just understands what he promised.

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by | May 27, 2016 · 7:00 am

Ole’ Whazzisname

May I Help You?

My husband has an incredible facial recognition center in his brain.  This man can see someone on the television and say, “Oh yeah, he was in that commercial a couple years ago.” Are you kidding me?!  I am continually amazed at this untapped gift that politicians would pay to have.  (Too bad we can’t translate that into some lucrative arrangement…)

So the story of when our firstborn was attending the college where her father works is still a fun one.  Bean (an affectionate nickname) walked into her dad’s office to visit with him and caught him in the middle of whatever project he was engaged in at the time.  Now, although Bob is excellent with facial recognition, his ability to multi-task leaves much to be desired.

Looking her in the face, Bob said something like, “May I help you?” and while his daughter stared back at him in disbelief, he finally recognized her—by her signature Converse tennis shoes!

Hilarious.

The point is, he wasn’t expecting her right then, and he was distracted by other work.  And thus, you may know where this is going…

“He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him.”*

Would You Recognize Him?

I can still get a good giggle out of how the man with expert recognition qualities didn’t “see” his own daughter.  But the fact that the world did “see” its own Creator in Jesus is on a bit of a different plane entirely.  Even though He took on their own form to walk among them.  Even though He understood their every fear and pain, and came to take those upon Himself.

They were, in fact:

  • Expecting something else,
  • Wanting something else,
  • Busy with something else.

Today, the world continues to do the same thing.  Unfortunately, even as a Christian, I can still allow my “something else” to prevent me from recognizing the Love of God standing right in front of me. 

And watch out, He may be wearing some Chuckie-T’s!

*John 1:10 Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright Š 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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by | May 27, 2016 · 6:30 am

A Recovering Logos-ist

Daniel Klem is a long-time blogger friend. He was a regular contributor to ProverbialThought.com and has even traveled all the way from Arizona to go Chrismas caroling with us 🙂 – Anthony Baker

I know. That is quite a title.

This can potentially be huge . . . if you know anything about Greek and theology.

A brief lesson for those who could use it:

John 1:1: “In the beginning was the Logos …”

Logos means “the Word.” Therefore, according to the Bible, Jesus is the Word, and that means He is God (see the rest of the verse), Creator (Genesis 1, God spoke), and Savior (1 Corinthians 15:1-2).

Therefore, the title of this post could very easily be understood as “A Recovering Christian.”

In a way, this is true. We should always be in a state of recovery as Christians: in mind (Romans 12:2), spirit (Ephesians 4:23), and character (2 Corinthians 4:16).

However, what I mean is something different. And I may make some of my friends unhappy with me if they read this.

Word of Faith

Perhaps you have heard of the Word of Faith (or Word-Faith, Faith, or Positive Confession) movement in the Church. (And forgive me for linking to Wikipedia.) To summarize the movement’s teaching, there is power available to the Christian through the Holy Spirit to have whatever we need (or simply want), and all we need is enough faith.

This has spread throughout the Church around the world, but the most famous of Faith preachers can typically be found on the Trinity Broadcast Network (TBN).

I fell into part of this movement almost a decade ago. It was one of the sneakiest varieties, too, because this movement typically does not deny the deity of Christ or that He came in the flesh (read 1 John; it covers every aspect of discerning this).

All one has to do, though, is speak in faith or act in faith, and God is almost compelled to do what we ask or believe He should do.

I did realize this is false teaching. However, why would I call myself “recovering”?

Still Learning

If there is one thing the Word-Faith movement gets right, it is encouraging Christians to boldly walk by faith. However, when I left the movement, I almost went full Cessationist. (It will take too long to explain here exactly where I stand, but I do believe the Holy Spirit can move through people today to perform miracles, signs, and wonders. However, it may be different from what some preach today.)

This is my recovery. I am learning to balance trusting in God’s Logos (The Word = both the Bible and the Son) and not automatically discounting every miracle or story of God’s moving. There are times I expect God to move in a certain way, and there are times I fail to believe He would even want to help me with something in particular.

In the end, the truest meaning of “whatever you ask in my name” is that we are asking in the same character of Christ.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly … put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
Colossians 3:16, 10, ESV

Have you had any experiences with the Word-Faith movement? Leave a comment and let’s discuss.

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by | May 26, 2016 · 7:00 am

Islands

The following is a guest post written by David Welford. The only islands I’ve ever been to are the Florida Keys. – Anthony Baker

I have a natural affinity for islands. I grew up on a small island called Guernsey, and moved to the rather larger island of Great Britain when I was eleven years old. Since then I have visited many islands, my preference being for the smaller variety.

Newfoundland, while interesting, was just too big. Guernsey, measuring just eight miles by five, was perfect. But then I am biased in favor of my childhood home.

There are smaller islands close to Guernsey that are wonderful for a day visit, but living permanently on a very small island poses certain challenges including food supplies, schooling, and social interaction.
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Last week I visited Madeira for the first time. Madeira is a Portuguese island that rises steeply from the Atlantic Ocean and has a population of roughly 280,000. To me that is a lot of people, but the island itself is small enough to get around.

Madeira is very rugged and very green. Everything seems to grow in abundance despite the gradients, and everywhere I went the land seemed to have been terraced to maximize the space available for crops.
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Accessibility to islands like Madeira is not always easy. There is an airport in Madeira but until the runway was extended a few years back the safety reputation of the airport was not good. There is a small harbor where cruise ships call, but there is no ferry service.

For some reason Madeira has an attraction for the elderly, and I was one of the youngest passengers on my flights to and from the island. I guess the young head to more exciting places.
Church

In some ways churches resemble islands. There are small and large churches, and there are churches that only seem to attract the elderly, while others appeal to the young.

A certain commitment is required to visit church, and significant journeys can be required because fewer churches seem to be inhabited these days.

In some churches there is evidence of abundant growth, but others resemble the desert islands that are visible from the south coast of Madeira where nothing grows.

Problems also occur when churches become exclusive – a bit like islands that fall into celebrity ownership, with Necker in the Caribbean being a prime example. The only way to visit Necker is as a guest or employee of a certain Sir Richard Branson.
washingtonpost

While certain types of island attract many visitors, it seems that few churches have much to offer to the world these days. I find myself increasingly drawn to the New Testament model of church where many small islands of faith appeared in an ocean of unbelief and opposition, and grew because friends and neighbors could see Jesus in the lives of their friends and neighbors.
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I am aware that this post poses questions without providing answers, but as my thoughts travelled between islands and church I found myself challenged about church in general, the church I belong to, and the home group I attend once a fortnight.

I think the main challenge is to continue being challenged and asking questions, rather than trying to work out what type of island my church might be. But, if my church is not a place where Jesus can be found and disciples are being grown then it is no better than a desert island, regardless of how many inhabitants it might have.

All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer.
A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity – all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42-47 NLT)

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by | May 25, 2016 · 7:00 am

A Transformed Marriage

The Truth Hurts

I’ll never forget what happened in the winter of 2014. Christmas was only two weeks away, and I had been working hard getting ready for our church play. My husband had just lost his job, and we both were stressed to the max. We got in an argument over something simple, but it was enough to bring the truth out of his mouth. He said, “I want a separation! We don’t make each other happy anymore, and I just want to be happy.”

I was shocked. I knew our marriage had been on a roller coaster for years, but after attending a marriage conference a few months prior, I was taking baby steps to becoming a better wife. I agreed to the separation, and within a couple of weeks, I had an apartment picked out.

The Transformation

On December 29, 2014, I got a phone call from a lady inviting me to come sign the lease to my new apartment. At first I was excited, but then I began to cry. As I sit in my car at work, I began praying to God. I said, “Lord, I know divorce cannot be your plan for my life. I only want to do your will. Please show me what to do.”

Immediately, God put it in my spirit to ask my husband one last time if he really wanted me to leave. He said no, and then admitted to having an affair with a woman he met online. I knew that if I wanted to save my marriage, I had to allow God to transform me into the wife He called me to be, according to His word. So I begged God to forgive me for all my failures as a wife, and to show me a better way.

Although my husband was clearly living in sin, I was more worried about the changes I needed to make. I committed that day to doing whatever it would take for restoration. My husband ended his affair, and we starting forming new, healthy habits. We stayed up late most evenings spending quality time together, we planned weekly date nights, we wrote each other love letters and sweet text messages, begin praying together, and sleeping in the same bad every night. At first it was awkward, but then it just became the normal. Our marriage was not only restored, but it’s better now than it ever was before.

From Pain to Purpose

imageMy husband and I both have endured a lot of pain in the eight and half years we’ve been married. We’ve faced trials and overcome obstacles we never thought we would. But now we’re beginning to see the big picture. God allowed us to go through some things, so that He could use us to help others.

Now we are very passionate about teaching others God’s design for marriage. We teach a marriage class weekly at our church, I have a personal blog, and we just hosted our first marriage conference.

If you would like more information about our ministry, please check out my website www.transformedwife.com You can also follow me at facebook.com/transformedwife

 

 

 

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by | May 24, 2016 · 6:30 am

Guest Posts a Comin’!

Break Time!

As you well know – if you know anything about blogging – vacations, sabbaticals, and illnesses will absolutely KILL one’s stats! That is why it is mucho importento to find a way to keep those hits coming, even when you’re not able to post anything yourself.

But I need a break! I need to refill the imagination funnel! What do I do???

Logical Answer: Guest posts!

Guests

Starting tomorrow (Wednesday) The Recovering Legalist will be hosting several guest writers, a few of which are brand new to my audience. As a matter of fact, one blogger I just met this past weekend!

Be looking out for posts from the following friends:

daniel klemDaniel Klem – Daniel and Caitlin Klem are about the cutest couple you’ll ever meet. I’ll never forget for as long as I live the couple of days they spent with us here in Chattanooga. They live in Arizona, so when we were disappointed one morning to not be able to see the valley from atop Lookout Mountain – because of the low clouds – Caitlin said, “Hey! It’s still water! That’s something we don’t see very often.” Sweet!

David Welford – David has been a blogging friend for a long time – one of my first. We’ve never met, but I hope we will one day this side of heaven. Maybe, just maybe, one day before I die, I’ll see just a fraction of the places around the world he’s visited.

Dawn Liz Jones – Inspriation with Attitude, what more needs to be said? I mean, I’ve never met Mrs. Jones, but I sense in her a kindred sarcastic spirit. Attitude, I’m telling ya’.

Madblog – I’ll let you try to figure out her name, but she blogs at Messages from the Mythical. I don’t think she’s a favorite of the non-complementarians, but that’s my opinion.

Melissa Zelniker-Presser – What can I say about Melissa? Let’s just say she ain’t Baptist; she knows about real law (not just Moses kind); and for heaven’s sake, don’t call her a Gentile. Melissa is also a friend – so be nice or I’ll “unfriend” you.

FullSizeRender (5)Rachel Smith – I met Rachel and Richard Smith at their booth at Jfest 2016, a Christian music festival in the Chattanooga area. What immediately caught my attention was the name of her ministry…Transformed Wife. Then, there on the table, I saw a t-shirt which I was later given; it said, “Transformed Husband.” Rachel hasn’t been blogging that long, so why don’t you subscribe to her site? This couple has a heart for saving marriages.

So, make sure you keep coming back the next several days…even though they don’t create monkey videos, I’m positive there’ll be some really great things to read!  😉

Seriously.

OH! Please check out each guest blogger’s blog, too!

OH! OH! … The Recovering Legalist (me) does not necessarily approve of everything on all the other blogs. So there, that’s my disclaimer.

That’s all. Seriously. 

 

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by | May 23, 2016 · 6:14 am

Monday Morning Music

Sunday Singing

Sunday morning my daughter Katie and I sang a song before I preached. Unfortunately, my wife’s cell phone cut off half-way through the song, so we didn’t get to capture the moment on video.

Sunday evening we had special guests to speak, and they wanted to hear Katie sing something, so we sang the song again (nothing wrong with repeating something). Again, we tried to record it, but things happened – like sour notes and I dropped my pick.

So, determined to make a video, Katie, Haley, and I went back to the church late last night and recorded the song. That’s what I wanted to share with you this morning 🙂

Oh, What A Savior Is Mine!

I don’t know who wrote this song, or how old it is, but it’s one that I love. It was the perfect song to sing before preaching about Jesus.

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by | May 22, 2016 · 7:53 am

Why Do You Sing?

Yesterday my daughters and I attended Jfest 2016, a Christian music festival held here in Chattanooga. One of the artists who performed was Phil Joel, the former Newsboys bassist and current lead for a band from New Zealand called…you’ll never guess…Zealand.

Since we have been fans of the Newsboys for a long time, it was really fun to see Phil Joel in person. Haley, my youngest, was more than thrilled to get an autograph and a “selfie” with Phil and his band.

phil joel selfie

But out of all the music we heard at Jfest, it wasn’t really a song that stood out for me. No, it was something fairly profound that Phil Joel said before singing a more well-known praise song. Frankly, that’s why I’m writing this now, because what he said went with me through the whole evening and into this morning.

“We don’t sing to remind God of who he is; we sing to remind US of who God is.” – Phil Joel

Stop and think about that. Sure, we sing songs of praise unto God because of who He is and what He has done, and that’s wonderful. However, we must understand that in the process of praise we encourage and edify each other through the truth expressed in the lyrics.

The next time you go to church, or wherever, take a moment to consider what you are singing. Fluff doesn’t encourage; the truth of God’s character does. In the world we live in, with all it’s problems, we need to be  praising God even more, because He deserves it!

And we need to be reminded.

Oh, and here’s one of my absolute favorites from back when Phil Joel was playing bass with the Newsboys. I still get chills at the line that says, “…all the powers of darkness can’t drown out a single word.”

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by | May 21, 2016 · 2:44 pm

10 Things Christian Bloggers Wished the Rest of the Universe Could Understand

The following was inspired by Dr. Dennis Culbreth and Alan Rogers, men who are obsessed with posting enumerated lists on Facebook.

The Audience

If you are reading this – evidently you are – it is probably because you are on some form of social media, like Facebook or Twitter. it is also possible you received an email notification as a subscriber, or you were forwarded a message from a friend who said, “You’ve GOT to read this!”

On the other hand, you may be a blogger who was surfing recent posts from followed sites or “suggestions”form WordPress (or some other inferior blogging platform). Those of you in this group – the bloggers – will understand what I’m about to write; the rest need help.

The following list will be less of a shocker than an affirmation of what Christian (and some pagan) bloggers already believe about themselves or others within their “community.” Therefore, the following list is meant more for the casual Facebook reader, the neglected child with a school project due, and the wife or husband whose eyes roll more often than a bowling ball.

10 Things Christian Bloggers Wished the Rest of the Universe Could Understand

1. The ability to write is a gift from God; the ability to write well takes work. Every post, if it’s worth posting, should be well-written. A poorly-written post is a poor reflection on the message we have to share. Therefore, don’t get upset if we spend 3 hours crafting a 500-word work of art.

2. Blogging is a form of worship. I know, it may sound crazy, but blogging can be a very legitimate means of giving praise and honor to God. Christian bloggers regularly speak of the goodness of God, praise Him in the midst of struggles, and challenge others to trust Jesus. Christian bloggers LOVE to praise God through computer screens all over the world!

3.  Christian bloggers are internet missionaries! You don’t have to travel the world to teach people with the Good News; you can do it from your kitchen! That’s right with a simple blog piece one person can instantly share relevant Truth in over 100 countries! Last time I counted, I’ve had readers in 126.

4.  Everything is fodder for a blog post. That’s right, everything from one’s recent trip to the mall to one’s battle with cancer – it’s all worth writing about, especially to the one who sees God’s hand working everywhere.

5.  Household chores will take care of themselves. Families of bloggers are usually the most stressed of housekeepers, but this need not be. Worse come to worse, dirty dishes, un-walked pets, and un-made meals can be used as writing topics (see point 4).

6.  Blogging is reporting. All bloggers wish the world would give us more respect. I mean, seriously, we deserve Press credentials! If you write a well-written blog you should be allowed into all political events, meetings, and all concerts for free. As for me, I think every blogger is a potential food and restaurant critic – we should eat for free.

7.  Christian bloggers don’t have selective hearing; we have selected focus. When I’m at the computer, don’t assume I hear anything you say. When I’m writing I’m in the “zone,” so voices outside the “zone” are muted. If you want my attention, offer food or show legitimate interest in what I’m writing.  Otherwise, don’t assume I heard you tell me to pay that bill.

8.  Donations are always welcome. Just because we Christian bloggers love doing what we do, that doesn’t mean we wouldn’t accept money. Money buys better computers, custom themes, and comfortable desk chairs.

9.  The Christian blogging “community” is a real thing with real people. Honestly, some of my best friends are bloggers I’ve met online. Several of us have met in person, prayed with each other, and shared in genuine Christian fellowship and worship. Bloggers love bloggers 🙂

10.  Christian bloggers come in all virtual shapes and sizes. Not every Christian is alike, and neither are our blogs. We are all unique and bring our own perspectives to the discussion of life. Don’t read just one.

So, what are your thoughts? Any points you’d like to share with the universe?

Kicked out of the house and in need of wifi, the blogger will do anything to maintain his habit of changing the world one post at a time.

Kicked out of the house and in need of wifi, the Christian blogger will do anything to maintain his habit: changing the world one post at a time.

 

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by | May 20, 2016 · 9:27 am

“The Worst Field Trip Guide”

Since it’s the last full week of school (only 2 days next week), I thought I’d share a chapter (Stop #15) from my little book, “Life Lessons from the School Bus.”

One day I transported 80 kindergarteners on a field trip to a mountain forest. Do you have any idea how loud 80 excited 5 year-olds can get when confined in a 40ft.-long steel box on wheels?

Teacher Talk

I couldn’t help overhear the advice school teachers were giving to the little crumb crunchers on the bus, then later after they unloaded. One warned, “Don’t pick anything up from the ground; you won’t be able to keep it, anyway.” Another said, “Don’t bounce on the swinging bridge; just look over the side.” Seriously? How can you tell a 5 year-old not to jump on a swinging bridge and then expect him not to jump on the swinging bridge?

SIDE NOTE: I remember when our oldest daughter, Alicia, who was around 12 or 13 at the time, went with me to visit the old capital building in Frankfort, Kentucky. In that old landmark is a genuine floating staircase on which Alicia decided to jump up and down. I asked, “What are you doing?” She calmly replied, “Trying to see if it will fall.” I said, “Two things…First, it’s been here since 1827 and hasn’t fallen, yet you think your scrawny self is going to break it? Second, why would you want to be on it if you could make it fall?”

Anyway… the best piece of advice from the teachers was clear enough: “Do NOT get off the trail!” But again, honestly, how many kids actually listen to instructions that make sense? I mean, you take a child that’s never been out of the suburbs to a forest with plants taller than their apartment buildings and you expect them not to run amuck? Therefore, I decided to speak up and add some clarification to the teachers’ warning. I said, “Because if you get off the trail, we might have to send the DOGS after you.”

Who knew one little girl was afraid of dogs? I didn’t! …Cry baby.

Bad Advice

So, that got me to thinking: what would be the worst advice to give 80 children before a trip into the woods?

  • photo 3 (4)Don’t worry about your lunch box; the forest is full of pretty berries.
  • As long as the animal is smaller than you, go ahead and pet it. It won’t mind.
  • Hey, bounce on the swinging bridge! It’s just like a trampoline.
  • Of course! Rules are meant to be broken.
  • Bears? What bears? This is Tennessee, kid. We don’t have bears. You’re thinking of Chicago.
  • I don’t care what your mom said, poison oak is a hoax. Don’t your parents have oak furniture? Does it make you itch? See, she lied.
  • Who can get closest to the edge? Let’s find out.
  • Whatever you do, don’t stay on the trail. Trails are for babies.
  • Snakes are overrated, misunderstood jump ropes. They want you to play with them.

 

Life Lesson

Thankfully, when it comes to the wilderness of life, there is One who always gives good advice.

In his famous Psalm 23, David wrote, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” God urges us to stay on the path that He has already walked, which is why Jesus said in Matthew 4:19, “Follow me.”

He knows the difference between good fruit and the forbidden kind.

Route Suggestions

  • Don’t give vague instructions to children; they need specifics.
  • Go check out the old capital building in Frankfort, Kentucky – but don’t jump on the staircase.
  • Never get to the point where you are too proud to listen to instructions or advice. For example, you may have been down this road before, but your tour guide has been down it more recently. There may have been some changes of which you are unaware, like a washed out bridge or recently released bears. Oh my!
  • Read Psalm 23. Was David walking alone? How could this Psalm relate to your life?

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