by | September 16, 2016 · 12:39 pm

Fun and Quirky Me

In a recent email from Tishia at Faithful Bloggers I was asked to list some fun and quirky things about myself. She said…

“When is the last time you shared something fun or a little quirky about you? I encourage you to create a post like this. Your readers will love it! It’ll let them connect with you on a more personal level as you give them a ‘glimpse’ into who you are by sharing some of those silly things.

Therefore, in the second post I’ve written in just one day, I will share with you 10 fun and quirky things: things to love; things to use as a connector; and things to give you a “glimpse” into what makes me the quirky, funny, unusual, and almost-committed person that I am.

  • I don’t have a clean desk, either around my computer in the kitchen or in my office. A clean desk is an invitation to break out books and paper and clutter. A messy desk is a reminder I have too much to do, so I don’t do too much more.
  • The main reason I love iPhones more than any other kind of phone is iMovie. I will be getting the iPhone 7 this year, and I don’t care about the haters; it’s the first phone I’ve gotten in 5 years – and Saturday is my birthday.
  • I shave in the shower – and I never cut myself (which is good for several reasons).
  • I like candy corn, even in the summer.
  • Sometimes I eat dry Capt’n Crunch Cereal when I study. I’ll put it in a bowl and munch on it. It’s what I call “brain food.”
  • I stop by the Mapco gas station every day and make my own iced coffee. It only cost me $.99 instead of $2 billion at Starbucks (which I can’t stand, anyway).
  • I sneeze every time I eat anything (at least 90% of the time)…anything at all… at least three times in a row. No, I don’t know why I do it. It doesn’t matter what I eat, and it varies when the sneezing happens.
  • I get emotional in the butterfly exhibit at the Tennessee Aquarium.
  • I weigh 215 pounds.
  • One of my greatest wishes is that the Pop Tart people would make a pop tart that had no filling… because I enjoy the edges of pop tarts more than the inside.

So, there you have it… fun and quirky things you probably never knew about me. Do you feel closer? More connected? I hope so 😉

I also have a pet puppet monkey who thinks he is real - he even has a pet banana.

I also have a pet puppet monkey who thinks he is real – he even has a pet banana.

 

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by | September 16, 2016 · 11:29 am

Another Sitter Strikes Again

Tripping While Scrolling

Have you ever experienced it? It’s that moment when you about break a finger when you see something as you’re scrolling through recent news articles.

It’s that wait-a-moment! moment when you stop scrolling down on your smartphone and try to quickly go back up and find the story you think you saw, but it took a second to register in your mind.

Well, this morning during a break between school bus routes I came across one of those scrolling moments. I was scrolling down through recent news stories, reading the headlines, and then said, “Wait a minute!” I had to go back and read further.

Solidarity for Sitters

I don’t see how, but maybe you are unaware of all the hullabaloo surrounding people who choose to sit during the singing of the National Anthem or recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance to the American flag. If so, then maybe you didn’t hear what State Sen. Jamilah Nasheed, a St. Louis Democrat, recently did.

According to an article in The Blaze and the local news from which it got the story, Sen. Nasheed refused to stand during the pledge to the American flag out of her desire to stand (ironically) in solidarity with a certain football player which shall remain nameless.

According to reports, she said:

“I decided to not stand for the Pledge of Allegiance today to stand in solidarity with the cause of injustice that Colin Kaepernick has shined a bright light upon. I am not anti-America, and in fact, it is because I love this country that I take this stand… I am doing so not because of past transgressions by America, but to call attention to current injustices here in this state and country.”

Current Injustices

The following are the list of injustices Sen. Nasheed says America is currently guilty of, and thereby deserves to be protested.

• The injustice of police brutality — the refusal to mandate police body cameras;

• The injustice of poverty — the underfunding of our public schools;

• The injustice of voter suppression — passing Voter ID laws;

• The injustice of not having health care — not expanding Medicaid;

• The injustice of unlivable wages — refusing to raise minimum wage and the right-to-work attack on labor;

• The injustice of unequal pay for women;

• The injustice of mass incarceration; and

• The injustice of economic disparity.

May I just address each one of the injustices mentioned in light of my recent trip to Zimbabwe? Thank you.

• The injustice of police brutality — the refusal to mandate police body cameras;

I’m sorry, but I’m sick and tired of this “police brutality” business. With few exceptions, the police in this country are angels compared to the police in so many other places. Brutality? Maybe she should visit the Sudan or Iraq. Why not compare our supposed brutality to that of the cops in Iran? Ever been to an eastern European jail?

You will actually stay seated during the pledge because of the refusal to mandate police body cameras, and you call that brutality? Seriously?

• The injustice of poverty — the underfunding of our public schools;

The injustice of poverty? Underfunding our public schools? Seriously, how is being poor an injustice when the poor in this country are infinitely more wealthy than the majority of people in Zimbabwe? And did you know that in many other places school is not free?

So, our poor are actually wealthy, they get free education, and it all comes from the government – yet it’s unjust. Right. And how much more funding do we need to give these schools, huh? How many more billions?

• The injustice of voter suppression — passing Voter ID laws;

So, it’s injustice – as opposed to being just and lawful – to require that a person placing a vote in an election actually show proof he/she is a legal citizen of this country? Do you even understand the definition of “justice”?

If people in other countries will stand in line…lines that are being bombed and shot at…just so they can have one chance at placing their vote…you think it’s unjust to require that people here acquire an ID? How spoiled are the people you represent?

• The injustice of not having health care — not expanding Medicaid;

I’m sorry, but didn’t your president pass his signature legislation called the Affordable Care Act? Is that not working for you?

And you talk about not having health care… Have you ever been to a village where children are literally dying because of sinus infections, all because they can’t afford to buy medicine that we can get over the counter here? And you call our health care unjust?

• The injustice of unlivable wages — refusing to raise minimum wage and the right-to-work attack on labor;

Honestly, you’re complaining about how much money people are not making, yet they are making money – they have jobs. Ever been to a country like Zimbabwe where the unemployment is near 90%? You won’t stand for the pledge to the flag of a country, even though that country offers unemployment benefits, housing, healthcare, food stamps, schooling, day care, pre-natal care, cell phones, and even internet to those who don’t even want to work? How’s that unjust??? Except maybe for the taxpayer.

Again, a minimum wage that’s not high enough? I’ve seen people selling WORMS on the side of the road for pennies, and you complain about people not being paid enough to work at McDonald’s? Unbelievable.

• The injustice of unequal pay for women;

This is a load of absolute baloney and you dagdum know it. Please, somebody show me jobs where women get paid less just because they’re women.

• The injustice of mass incarceration; and

I suppose letting drug dealers, rapists, muggers, etc. back out on the street just because of their skin color would be the best choice?

• The injustice of economic disparity.

I’m sorry, Senator, but you are actually serving in the wrong country and under that wrong Constitution. Here in America we have a form of government that is supposed to reward hard work and ingenuity, not punish it by spreading the wealth around and making everything “fair.” I think you’d be more happy under a dictatorship or Communism. That is what you really want, right?

Please forgive me for going on a rant, but I’m just tired of all the stupidity these days. I had to say something.

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by | September 15, 2016 · 6:30 am

Bumper Stickers

The following was first published in November of 2010. I do miss having my own “Ride.”

“The Ride”

My wife will not let me put a bumper sticker of any kind on her car.  Even if she was driving a rusty Chevy Vega which desperately needed the qualities of something with adhesive properties to keep her bumper stuck to her car…no bumper stickers.  Not so with my Ride.  I don’t need no stinkin’ sticky things!  Just staples and zip ties, thank you.  Really, what I mean to say is that “The Ride” is not too good to advertise TheRecoveringLegalist.com, even though my wife thinks her car is too special.  HA!

Bumper stickers are something akin to free advertisement…

…They promote whatever you want other people to know about you and what you think, or for that matter, how well your kids think.  Plastered to the back of a rolling billboard, they catch the eye of total strangers who have the random chance to find themselves behind you and I in traffic, or who catch a glimpse in a parking garage.  Some people, I have come to realize, are advertizing more than they know, for some bumper stickers betray a hidden (at least to the owner of the car) stupidity.

There are so many bumper stickers that scream “MORON!”

Here is one that I saw.  What a profound question.  Why do we kill people that kill people?  Could it be that we don’t want them to killpeople again?  Could it be that they deserve to die for taking an innocent child’s life?  Could it be that there are those out there on parole who would love to shoot your stupid…..(calm yourself, Anthony)…..well, they would love to steal your car and leave you beside the road in a ditch, then drive away with your false advertisement on THEIR bumper.

The one that I would have to say gets me the most, maybe because I see it the most, is COEXIST.  I just love all the little symbols that are used to make up the happy little plea for love and harmony.  Too bad what it tells me is that the owner of the car is a blooming idiot, at the very least, or somehow an ostrich has learned how to drive with his head in the sand.  The message behind the little sticker is really, “Hey you Christians!  Can you quit being so narrow-minded and hateful?  Don’t you know that we all just want to get along, but you keep screwing it up?”  All religions are the same, you know, or that’s the idea.  We are all worshipping the same god, just by a different name.  All paths lead to heaven, it’s just that some choose to take a shortcut by blowing themselves to Allah in the name of Jihad…is that so wrong?

Tell that to the “C”

I like the following verse. Psalm 107:2 says, “Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy…”  As Christians, we should be speaking out about the goodness and mercy of our God, not trying to seek favor with false gods by “COEXISTing” in perfect joy and mutual admiration.  People in this country have the right to free speech and to freedom of religion, but if you haven’t noticed, we are in a real religious war.  The “C” doesn’t like the “T” in that bumper sticker.  If you’re going to put something on your bumper, make it something that points people down the narrow road, not the wide one that leads to destruction.  Show your intelligence and advertize your faith…just don’t be tacky and weird about it…or then we get back into the looking-like-a-moron thing that my wife so desperately wants to avoid.

Now here’s an idea for the “perfect” bumper sticker!

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by | September 13, 2016 · 6:25 am

Simply Spoiled

I just want to illustrate how spoiled we are with a simple story.

One morning not too long ago I woke up a little late and had to get ready to go to work. Because I woke up late, I didn’t have time to fix any breakfast, not even a cup of coffee. Needless to say, that made me a little irritated.

I was short with my wife, who I woke up shortly after me, because I couldn’t find her purse. I needed at least a dollar or two to buy cup of coffee that morning, because, I mean, seriously, it was going to be another two hours before I could get a cup of coffee at home. All I was asking for was a cup of coffee…not breakfast…I could eat breakfast in a couple of hours.

So, a little later there I was, sitting on the school bus, waiting for my next route, knowing it was going to be a couple of hours before having a cup coffee, or anything to eat… and I was irritated.

How do I know I was (and am) spoiled? I was acting all upset when I should have been thankful!

  • image

    A Family in Zimbabwe.

    I woke up.

  • I was able to get out of bed.
  • I woke up in a house, not a box.
  • My wife is alive and still living with me.
  • I had running water.
  • I’m fully dressed.
  • I have a job.
  • I have a bottle of clean water to drink, which is more clean water than a lot of people see in a lifetime.
  • I only had to wait two hours for a cup of coffee and some food when some people may have to wait two days…or more.
  • I’m writing all of this on a computer. I have a computer with internet, unlike millions of people. I don’t have to take a crowded bus into town just to use the internet.

So, there you have it…simply spoiled and ungrateful. God forgive me! God have mercy on us all!

 

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by | September 12, 2016 · 6:30 am

Daily Devotions: Definitions and Suggestions

How would you define “doing your devotions?”

What is it, exactly?

Honestly, I am a preacher/pastor who has a difficult time doing my “daily devotions.” Frankly, I am even unsure the term “devotions” is actually appropriate. Something about it often strikes me as magical, prescriptive, or simply religious.

You see, I’m the type of person who sorta recoils from scripted religious stuff; I don’t even like responsive reading in church! Whenever a preacher says “Repeat after me…” in a sermon, I usually don’t. Therefore, when I go into a Christian book store like Lifeway and see shelves of “devotionals” and devotional aids – many written by the most popular authors of the day – I feel like I’m being pandered to, the object of some Nashvillian marketing team.

Whatever happened to the promise from Jesus that the Comforter would come and guide me into all truth (John 16:13)? What about the discernment of the Spirit (1 Corinthians 2:14)? Do I need the products of publishing elites to draw me closer to the Lord? Do I really need to read the polished words of some slick conference speaker to better understand the Word of God? Of course not.

But there does need to be some regularity of personal conversation with my heavenly Father. There needs to be regular communication with Jesus. How else could one develop a personal relationship with Someone if they never spent some one-to-one time together?

But again, how does one do it without it becoming mechanical? How does one keep it from becoming routine? How does one do it without letting someone else do all the work? How does one do it without it becoming just one more thing to check off the list?

I don’t believe there is a right or wrong way to regularly spend time with God; yet, you may have some way that works best for you. Would you mind sharing it?

 

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by | September 11, 2016 · 10:07 am

Remembering September

“I Will Not Forget; I Will Remember”

I will not forget; I will remember

That horrible morning in early September.

The sight of the tower, bursting with flame.

The second explosion confirming the name:

Terrorism.

I will not forget, though some would like to,

But I cannot un-see the poor souls who jumped to

Their death, rather than burn.

The more we watched, the more we learned

There was more.

It was war.

But just like the passengers of Flight 93,

The fight for freedom rests on you and me.

Will we walk gagged and bound into tyranny’s night?

Will we be silent, or will we fight

For freedom

From terrorism

By just living?

Yes. And I will not forget; I will remember

The day it all changed in early September.

– Anthony C. Baker

 

 

 

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by | September 10, 2016 · 8:00 am

A Flirting God?

The following is Part 3 of a 3-Part series of controversial posts first published in Sept. of 2013. I hope this one’s a blessing.

Don’t Be Shocked

I know that the title may come as a shock to many of you, but don’t be too shocked, at least not yet. I have been talking about men and women flirting over the last couple of days, but as I told you, there was a method to my madness.

You might be saying, “And if you say God is a flirt, then you are truly mad, you crazy fool!” But please, hear me (or read me) out. “Flirting” might not be the best word, but what about “wooing”? If not a flirting God, surely He woos us all the time.

Background

Now, just in case you think I am crazy, let me share with you one of my favorite verses from one of my favorite books in the Bible, Hosea.

“I drew them with cords of a man, with bands of love: and I was to them as they that take off the yoke on their jaws, and I laid meat unto them.” – Hosea 11:4 KJV

With metaphor God explains to the prophet Hosea how He has gone the extra mile to win over His people’s love. That, after all, is the message portrayed by Hosea’s pursuit of Gomer (that’s his wife’s name) as she runs from lover to lover. God would much rather win our love than divorce (judge) us.

When I think of the first part of that verse, the words “cords of a man” become “heart strings.” In other words, in order to win our affections, God is doing everything He can to “pull our strings,” or at least the emotional strings of our hearts. Cool, huh?

Signs of Wooing

As with the last two posts, I’d like to consider some ways in which God might “flirt” with us. In other words, God might be wooing you if…

  • You wake up earlier than you wanted, but see the most beautiful sunrise of your life.
  • You decide to give up on life, only to have an email pop up showing someone worse off than you.
  • It seems that there is no meaning in life, but then you hear a baby cry, or your child says, “I wuv you.”
  • In the dark, late at night, you find yourself crying, but a warmth you can’t explain wraps around you, cradling you to sleep.
  • You find yourself feeling like a failure, worthless and dirty, then from out of nowhere comes a verse you learned in Sunday School: “For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son…”

Do I need to go on? Is He pulling the strings of your heart? Will you respond to His advances?

He does love you!

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by | September 9, 2016 · 7:00 am

She Might Be Flirting If…

The following is Part 2 of a 3-part series I wrote back in Sept. of 2013. I hope you’re enjoying it 😉

Stay With Me

Yesterday, taking a sharp turn from the direction I usually go, I wrote a post dealing with how men flirt. Today I am going to write about how women flirt, or at least my thoughts on the subject. But before you run off thinking The Recovering Legalist is becoming Vanity Fair or The Huffington Post, let me reassure you: there is a point to my madness.

Yesterday was about men. Today will be about women (or at least my understanding and perceptions of the creatures). Tomorrow will be about… Well, you’ll just have to come back tomorrow to find out. Just stay with me on this, OK?

More Nonsense

I scoured the web this morning looking for sources and I found several. However, unlike yesterday, I will give you the links at the bottom of the page, just so you’ll know I am not making this stuff up. Essentially there are a lot of websites and magazines with published articles dealing with “how to know if a woman is flirting.” But once again, several of the clues are deceptive.

Are you a nice person? Do you smile at people? Do you look people in the eye when you speak? Then you’d better watch out, somebody may think you are flirting!

The following are said to be clues that a woman is flirting, guys. So watch out, especially if she is one of those Proverbs 7 women (that’s not good).

  1. She’s staring at you. Never mind that you might have a piece of chicken in your tooth, or you may look like a suspected criminal, if a woman is staring at you, you might be daddy material.
  2. She smiles at you. According to the experts, yelling, screaming, hateful, and even non-emotional women are safe. It’s the ones that are smiling at you that should make you concerned (or excited). That means every girl that works at Chick-fil-A wants to take you on a date.
  3. sinead oconnerShe plays with her hair. Supposedly, if a woman fiddles with her hair – twirls it in her finger while talking or listening to you – she is flirting. Sinead O’Conner, therefore, will be hard to read, I suppose.
  4. She touches you. Normally, I would give credence to this one. However, some people are just “touchy” people. Some women have a motherly instinct that demands they straighten every tie and remove every piece of lint. So, don’t get creeped out when Granny brushes your shoulder.
  5. She draws attention to her body. Seriously? What woman does not try to draw attention to her body, or at least parts of it? What is makeup for? How long has it been since women have striven to be modest? Good grief, with the way women dress today, the only women not flirting are wearing long blue jean skirts (but they usually have long hair, so watch out for the twirling)!

My Experience

What do I think? How do I believe a man can tell if a woman is flirting? From my experience, which is admittedly limited, I believe there are a few legitimate, full-proof signs. Let me share them with you, but in a more Jeff Foxworthy-ish style…

  • If a woman looks at you with her eyes, she might be flirting.
  • If a woman throws the rock back at you from across the playground, she might be flirting.
  • If a woman asks you to sip something she is drinking, she is definitely flirting.
  • If a woman bites her lip when you wear chocolate-scented cologne, she just has a hankering for chocolate.
  • If a woman says you are ugly, she might be flirting.
  • If a woman says, “I wouldn’t go out with you in a million years,” all the while maintaining an incredulous smirk of disdain, ask her out again next week: she might be flirting with you.
  • If you happen to be wrestling (pronounced “wrasling”) around on the floor, and the girl you are pretending to let beat you up actually breaks your finger and then says, “OH, did I do that? I’m sorry!”… I’ll let you figure that one out. I just married her.

Well, my wife just asked me if I could tell when she was flirting, so I guess I will bring this post to a close. Just be careful, men.

The last thing you want to do is misinterpret a woman’s intentions. 

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by | September 8, 2016 · 8:46 pm

Signs of Flirting?

The following is Part 1 of a 3-part series originally written in Sept. of 2013. I thought it would be a good time to repeat it.

Uncomfortable Topic

OK, so this is not a subject I normally discuss, but I feel I must say something.

I have seen several pieces in the news about how to know when a man is flirting, but the signs leave me a little puzzled. I mean, I am a man, so I should have some knowledge of when I am flirting, correct? But, evidently, I may be flirting when I don’t know it!

I don’t remember the sources for the following, but if you want to, just Google them (It is not my intention to plagiarize, but I am not getting graded on a paper, applying for a job, or getting paid for this post, so I’m not going to worry too much at this point). Here are…

Ten (supposed) ways to know a man is flirting with you:

  1. flirtingHe makes eye contact when he talks.
  2. He touches his face.
  3. He laughs at a girl’s jokes.
  4. He messes with his own hair.
  5. He tries to gain your attention.
  6. He leans in closer when you talk.
  7. He touches you on the shoulder.
  8. He always has a smile.
  9. He puts his hands on his waist.
  10. He throws rocks at you from across the playground.

Analysis of List

First, I always thought that I was supposed to make eye contact when talking with someone. Does this mean that every time I look someone in the eyes I am flirting? I guess I am going to have to revert back to my insecure, shifty-eye days.

Second, what if a guy feels bugs crawling on his face and in his hair? Should #2 and #4 on the list be avoided? I mean, if I get an itch, does that mean a woman is going to slap me?

Third, maybe guys are just being nice, you know? I try to smile at everybody’s jokes, don’t you? Sometimes a girl can be funny, even when she is ugly as a burnt tree.

Attention? What’s wrong with trying to get someone’s attention? Sure, there are different ways to do that, but come on! Just because I honk my horn at a lady walking down the street does not mean I want a date; there may be a tiger behind her, or a hole in front of her. The right thing to do is warn her.

Next (is this fifth?), the reason I lean in closer to a girl is because I am deaf from all the head-banging Southern Gospel music I have played.

Sixth, I may put my hands on my waist, but it might only mean I am disgusted with you. I would hardly call that flirting. But if I do put my hand on your shoulder, it might mean that I am secretly trying to see if the Vulcan grip really works.

Seventh, I always smile. Not really. That’s a lie.

Eighthly, ninethly, and tenthly, if I throw a rock at you on the playground, then I am absolutely flirting. Every boy knows that’s the way you let a girl know you like her. But since I am married, and since flirting with other women could cause my wife to do bad things to me in my sleep, I will keep my rocks to myself.

One Other Thing

There was one other sign that I did not include in the above list, but was in one article I read: “If a guy plays footsies with you in the sand, he might be flirting.”

If a guy starts rubbing his feet all over yours, that’s not a sign of flirting, people; that’s something way more. Ladies (and I am talking to women at this point), either get wedding invitations ready, or make use of a well-placed knee. You need no other signs.

Your welcome. 

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by | September 6, 2016 · 9:34 am

Perfect Timing for a Late Post

A Little Late

As many of you may know, I have another blog called ProverbialThough.com. If you are unaware of it, I hope before today is over you will check it out.

proverbial thought pictureAnyway, I was one of several who would regularly write devotional commentary on proverbs in the book of Proverbs. Looking at a list each one of us would select passages which we would be responsible for addressing, then write and post it at the appropriate time. Unfortunately, because I was also in seminary at the time, I was often overwhelmed and sometimes missed a verse (rarely, but it happened). Proverbs 22:14 was one of those verses, however.

I was supposed to have written a post for Proverbs 22:14 in July of 2013! Better late than never, right?

Perfect Timing

Now, even though the post for Proverbs 22:14 was just written, it couldn’t have been written at a better time. You see, the whole idea behind the writing of Proverbial Thought was to look at the wisdom of each proverb and apply personal application based on how we as the writers had seen the wisdom played out in real life. And because each one of the writers came from different walks of life and different parts of the world, there was a more diverse pool of experience to draw from.

The reason this post was timely is because had I written it back in 2013 I would have had no idea what a real pit meant for killing looked like. I don’t know what I would have used from my experience to try to relate the truth of this particular passage, but I certainly would not have been able to compare it to an actual place in Africa.

So, just like so many other things in life, it was no coincidence that I did not write a post for Proverbs 22:14 until now – God knew what was best.

Check It Out

So, why not click on the link below and go check out this brand new post – 3 years late – on Proverbial Thought? And while you are there make sure you subscribe and leave a comment or two.

Oh, and share it 🙂

Click here to read “Sleeping In the Pit”

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